Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Genkitousen
Episode 4: Wacky Nosehairs and Extreme Makeovers aren't good for the Brain!
"ALRIGHT YOU AFRO FREAK, SHOW ME WHAT EXACTLY'S SO GREAT ABOUT YOU!" Hajimaru yelled, laughing maniacally.
"Got any 7s?" Bobobo asked, as he, Don Patch, Pokomi, Rei, Heppokomaru, and Softon all played cards, not paying any kind of attention to the enemy.
"No, go fish." Don Patch replied in a dull tone.
"BOBOBO! I DON'T THINK NOW'S THE BEST TIME TO BE PLAYING A CARD GAMES!" Beauty screamed out. Hajimaru growled.
How dare he ignore me!? I mean aren't I intimidating enough!? Maybe I should change my expression a little to look more frightening. Hajimaru thought, making his face look devilish, standing right behind Bobobo with the new face.
"Got any 3s?" Pokomi asked dully.
"Dammit!" Rei screamed in anger, swiping up another card.
"Haha!" Bobobo laughed at Rei.
"GRR!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE STILL NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO ME!" Hajimaru screamed in rage.
"WE'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT WORTH THE TIME! YOU'RE JUST A FILLER VILLIAN FOR THE ACTION THAT'S IT SO SHUT UP OR GO HOME!" Don Patch screamed at Hajimaru, who began to cry.
"YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! RUN AND CRY TO YOUR MOMMA YOU WIMP!" Don Patch screamed, as everyone else laughed at the crying hair hunter.
LOSER! WIMP! COWARD! CRYBABY! were the words circling in his mind, with small children screaming out the words repeatedly.
"Um, Don Patch. I think that's enough, already." Heppokomaru said.
"Are you getting soft for this loser? Who cares! I mean he's only M Block and he thinks he can take on the greatest anime character that ever lived! What a joke! HAHAHA!" Don Patch laughed, though Hajimaru began to get angry as he cried.
"Oh! Thanks Don Patch! You finally realized who the main character is, huh?" Bobobo said to Don Patch, with a grin on his face.
"Of course!" Don Patch said as he jumped into the air.
"It's me!" they both yelled together, then looked at each other with crazy faces.
"What the hell!? Who in the hell do you think you are!?" Don Patch said, with he and Bobobo dressed as boxers with their noses touching.
"The Main Character! I mean who else would I be you little-whatever you are!" Bobobo said to Don Patch, making him furious.
"OKAY, TOUGH GUY THAT'S IT! YOU AND ME, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Don Patch screamed, with large bodybuilder arms and a lot taller, punching his boxing gloves together showing his eagerness.
"BRING IT ON, ASSHOLE!" Bobobo yelled, his aura blazing, ready to square off with Don Patch.
"Hey! Shouldn't you two be focused more on the enemy! I mean even if he is only M Block he could sneak attack you at any minute-GAH!" Pokomi yelled to the two, only to be punched by the bugs that grouped together and shaped themselves as a giant fist.
"Hey! What the hell's your problem!?" Heppokomaru yelled to Hajimaru, who stood there laughing.
"Hehehe, What are you guys going to do about it!? Huh!?" Hajimaru laughed. "YOU BASTARD! DON'T YOU SEE WE'RE HAVING AN ARGUMENT! BUTT OUT OF IT!" Don Patch screamed, punching Hajimaru with full force, causing him to crash into the building.
"Wow. Don Patch, you're really gonna let what Bobobo says get to you?" Softon asked, giggling a little at how angry Don Patch was for no apparent reason.
"MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS! THIS DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU SO BACK OFF!" Don Patch screamed.
"What did you say you stupid little bastard!?" Softon said in anger, looking down at Don Patch with their eyes locking on the other's.
"You heard me you ice cream headed freak!" Don Patch yelled.
"YOU'VE GOT SOME NERVE! COEM ON BOBOBO, LET'S KICK HIS ASS TOGETHER-AGH!" Softon screamed as Bobobo punched him away.
"STAY OUT OF THIS SOFTON! THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND DON PATCH!" Bobobo yelled in anger.
"Is this episode gonna be all about these stupid arguments about who's the main character? I just don't get them." Rei wondered, with her arms crossed and one eyebrow cocked up and the other down making an annoyed face.
"Probably. This is just their way of normal." Heppokomaru said, on one knee, helping his beloved sister up.
"Ow. That really hurt. Damn freak." Pokomi said, wiping a small drop of blood from her lip.
"NO! MY CANDY!" Bobobo cried, as candy randomly fell from his afro and he desperately began picking it up. As he did, Don Patch looked at him, dressed as a cat and ready to pounce.
Yes! Now's my Chance!
"YAH!" Hajimaru yelled, as his insects flew behind him. "Hehe! You fell for it!" Bobobo yelled with a silly face, spraying some type of mist at Hajimaru and his bugs.
"…Um…Hate to burst your bubble Bobobo, but what was the point of that spray…?" Softon asked.
"…TO MAKE THEM LOOK FABULOUS!" Bobobette yelled, in a pink, bedazzled business suit and too much makeup on her face, pointing to the bugs that were all kinds of colors.
"We're beautiful!" One purple bug said. "Gorgeous!" another said, which was colored sky blue.
"I think I'm going to enter the Miss Tokyo Contest this year!" a pink one smiled. "WHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM!?" Hajimaru cried out in disbelief.
"I gave them an EXTREME MAKEOVER! I mean, come on! They really NEEDED IT!" Bobobette said, showing them off bugs flew around happily, brightening the setting sky.
"And now that your little friends are so satisfied with their makeovers…" Bobobo began, getting serious.
"That means…" Don Patch added onto the sentence, as Hajimaru backed away, dreading what he knew was a possibility.
"SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: RUNWAY CAT WALK ATTACK!" Bobobette yelled, wearing 7 inch heels and along, turban type dress.
"YAH!" she yelled, taking her shoe and throwing it like a boomerang at Hajimaru.
"NO!" Hajimaru cried, as he fell in defeat after the sudden blow to the face he was given.
"YEA! I WON!" Bobobo smiled, on a random computer playing a Barbie PC Game.
"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!?" Rei screamed out.
"I'M GLAD SOMEBODY ELSE NOTICED IT BESIDES ME!" Beauty screamed.
"Ow. That hurt. You guys are rough-GAH!" Hajimaru said, only to be pulled up by the collar by Bobobo.
"Okay, no more joking around. I wanna know…How the hell did this Ancient Empire all come back from the grave all of a sudden?" Bobobo said seriously.
"Okay! Okay! Don't have to get so angry. Well, I can't really explain it. One day we all just woke up. I don't know the details, but maybe the higher ups will know. Like the A Block Commander or the Big Four or even my beloved Emperor. No one tells anyone under A-G Block anything. A Thousand Years of slumber and you wake up not knowing anything." Hajimaru started sadly.
"A Thousand Years? Who could bring back an entire army that hasn't been around for an entire millennium?" Beauty wondered.
"I don't know but I do know one thing. YOU NEED A BATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " Bobobo screamed, shocking everyone as he kicked Hajimaru away to the farthest lake.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?" Heppokomaru screamed out.
"I DON'T KNOW!" Bobobo cried, hanging onto Don Patch, who was also crying for no reason.
"They are so dramatic. Hey, I BROKE MY NAIL! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Pokomi said with an annoyed face at first, then crying along with them.
"Okay, now that that's all taken care of, can we like eat now? I mean we did come here to do that ya no." Rei said.
"Oh right. Follow me." Heppokomaru said, still watching his friends and sister cry over nothing. As they all walked up the stairs, Beauty started to get impatient.
"AGH! I HATE STAIRS! WHY IN THE HELL IS IT SO DAMN HIGH!?" Beauty yelled, fed up with the walking.
"Calm down, Beauty! We only went up, like, three flights of stairs! Gosh! She's so annoying!" Bobobo said, in a ballerina costume.
"You're one to talk." Pokomi said, sweat dropping at the unnecessary attire he was wearing.
Then they finally got to the floor and once they got to the door, Heppokomaru made a very puzzled face. There was a piece of paper on it with a few large bags of clothes in front of it and as he read it his face became even more puzzled.
"Um…Pokomi…" he said to his sister, in a fearful-type voice.
"What happened-" Pokomi wondered, beginning to read the paper on the door. Then Heppokomaru bent his head down in depression, though Pokomi began to get angry and you could clearly see it in her expression.
"What happened-" Beauty began as she approached the siblings, but stopped when Pokomi punched her brother in the head.
"OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?" Heppokomaru yelled, with his hand on his head.
"FOR NOT PAYING THE FREAKING RENT YOU DUMBASS! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF LEGAL GUARDIAN ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE FOR ME WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF WITHOUT SCREWING UP!" Pokomi yelled in rage.
"WELL I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU LIVE ON YOUR OWN FOR A LITTLE WHILE! I DOUBT IT'D GO FARTHER THAN TWO DAYS YOU SPOILED ASS BRAT!" Heppokomaru retaliated, as the two siblings went back and forth, arguing to no end.
"Hehe, Looks like they've bonded more like a brother and sister since the last time I saw them." Softon giggled.
"…Does that mean we have to starve…?" Beauty wondered, not too happy about the news.
"I GUESS SO SINCE MY GENIUS OF A BROTHER DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PAY A FEW HUNDRED DOLLARS ON TIME FOR US TO LIVE!" Pokomi yelled, pointing at her brother in rage, though everyone else could see he was getting fed up with her babbling.
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW WE'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE SOFTON!" Bobobo cried, pointing out the fact that Softon is tall, but skinny.
"Hey! what's that supposed to mean!" Softon yelled in anger.
"Well. Guess I've gotta go back to living in trash cans." Don Patch sad, dressed like a bum.
"Since when did you live in trash cans, Don Patch?" Beauty asked, annoyed with everything at this point.
"GOD! I HATE THIS SO MUCH! NOW I'VE GOTTA FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH ALL MY STUFF! WE'VE GOTTA FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO LIVE AND ON TOP OF THAT A PLACE BIG ENOUGH TO FIT EVERYBODY! YOU REALLY FUCKED UP THIS TIME HEPPOKOMARU-OW!" Pokomi screamed, then was suddenly smushed by one of the bags that was left in front of the door.
"What the hell?" Pokomi said.
"Since you wanna complain, you can carry all your stuff by yourself." Heppokomaru said, beginning to walk with one of the bags over his shoulder.
"Huh…?" Pokomi said, a little lost.
"Wait a minute. Hekun, if you don't have anywhere to live now, where are you supposed to carry you guys' stuff to?" Beauty wondered, and he came to realization of that same fact.
"Oh yea…Hehe, Rei! Best buddy ever!" Heppokomaru said with a fake smile, putting his arm around Rei's shoulder, though she looked at him with an unmakable expression.
"I Know what you're about to ask and the answer is yes." Rei said coldly, not even bothering listening to him.
"Well, there you have it. We're all gonna stay at Rei's house." Heppokomaru smiled, cheering his friends up.
"YEA! WE CAN EAT!" they all yelled together. Rei sighed, but went on anyways, beginning to walk.
"Follow me, guys." Rei said, as everyone followed her, except Pokomi, however.
"Hey! Who's gonna help me carry my stuff?" Pokomi asked, desperately.
"You figure it out! I mean you're the responsible one, not me!" Heppokomaru said to his sister, as he walked off with the others.
"HEY! Grr…you ass…." Pokomi said with an embarrassed face, as she tugged her four bags of clothes and walked behind everyone.
Soon, when it was around night time, they arrived at this huge mansion-like house with a fountain in front of it.
"WHOA!" they all yelled in shock. "Is this where you LIVE Rei?" Softon asked, in complete shock.
"Yep. My parents are architects, so they have the money. It gets kinda lonely though, cuz they aren't around that much." Rei said.
"WAIT A MINUTE! So you live here by yourself!?" Beauty yelled, astonished.
"Well, yea. Most of the time. I usually have someone over here though so I don't get too lonely." Rei said.
"BEAUTIFUL, DARLING! JUST BEAUTIFUL!" Don Patch said in a French accent, as he took pictures of Bobobo, who was posing as the statue for the fountain!
"Bobobo! What the hell are you doing! You're gonna ruin her things!" Beauty yelled.
"Calm Down, Beauty! No I'm not!" Bobobo said, though then he tripped and fell into the water of the fountain, taking the head of the flamingo statue that was on it down with him.
"BOBOBO YOU FREAKING IDIOT! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" Don Patch yelled.
Hahaha! It worked! Now they'll all think Bobobo broke it on his own and they'll never suspect that I cracked it when they weren't watching! Now Bobobo will get beat up and I'll become the star of this show once and for all! YES! Don Patch thought, with a sinister look on his face.
"Grr……." Rei growled, with her face red and her anger boiling.
"Uh oh. Now he's done it." Heppokomaru said, backing up about 5 steps.
"Done what?" Beauty wondered.
"You'll see, but I suggest you move back a little." Pokomi warned.
"For what?" Softon asked.
"You…you…YOU FUCKIN BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rei screamed in rage with fire behind her.
Then Don Patch, Beauty and Softon all got afraid, kinda understanding why Heppokomaru and Pokomi told them to move back.
"You guys haven't seen anything yet." Pokomi said, staying clear of Rei. "What do you mean?" Beauty asked in distress, even though she wasn't being targeted.
"Well…you see when Rei flips out like this she kinda…" Heppokomaru began, stopping so they could see what was going to happen next.
"YOU ASSHOLE!" Rei yelled, with two 9.5 inch pistols suddenly appearing in her hands, pointed straight at Bobobo.
"Hey! WAIT A MINUTE! REI! YOU CAN'T SHOOT BOBOBO!" Beauty cried, though still a good distance away.
"YEA! I-I-I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER! WITHOUT ME WHAT'LL THIS SHOW BE CALLED!?" Bobobo asked, standing very still and sweating an ocean as he feared the worst.
"I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS WHO THE HELL YOU ARE! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN HERE 5 FUCKIN MINUTES AND YOU ALREADY BROKE SOMETHING! YOU IDIOT!" Rei yelled, with her finger twitching on the triggers of the guns. "Hey! Can't we work this out-AGH!" Bobobo cried, as Rei began shooting at him. "NO WE CAN'T! NOW STAY STILL, ASSHOLE!" Rei yelled, as she aimed directly at Bobobo but he swiftly dodged all the bullets she had shot so far.
"Grr…THAT'S IT! I'M TIRED OF YOU ALREADY! I HAVEN'T EVEN KNOWN YOU FOR HALF A DAY AND YOU PISSED ME OFF! NOW JUST GO AHEAD AND DIE!" Rei yelled, still shooting at him, but he was much too fast for her bullets.
"…GAH! THAT'S IT!" Rei screamed in rage, dropping her guns and running full force at Bobobo.
"Hehe, why'd you drop your guns? Do ya think you're really gonna hurt the almighty Bobobo-bo Bo-bob-" Bobobo began, but as he underestimated the girl he got a huge punch in the face, so hard that blood exploded from every opening in his head.
"WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?" Beauty and Softon yelled in shock, though Don Patch laughed and Heppokomaru and Pokomi just stood and watched Rei act like an animal.
"AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bobobo cried, landing about 50 feet from the house.
Rei breathed heavily as she looked at her fallen prey, then turned around, picked up her guns and put an innocent smile on her face.
"Alright. Let's go in and eat." she said, opening the doors and walking into to her home as everyone looked at her with shocked, Bobobo-style faces.
"Aren't ya guys coming?" Rei asked, as if none of the violence that just transpired happened. They all just nodded and walked in behind her.
"H-Help! Guys! Please!" Bobobo said, crawling his way to the door, but Rei slammed the door so hard in his face that he flew back to where he started!
"Jesus, Rei, you didn't have to completely dismantle him. I mean accidents happen." Pokomi said.
"Oh well. What's done is done." Rei said, not really caring much. Later on, a knock was heard on the door. Rei got up to go answer it and…"PLEASE LET ME IN REI! I'M HURTING!" Bobobo cried. Rei looked at him with an unnamable face.
She sighed and said "Fine. Come in. But if ya break something else I'll beat you ten times as hard, got it?" Rei said, not threatening him but warning him.
"Y-Yes ma'me…" Bobobo sobbed, walking in like a helpless child. "OH WOW! THIS IS AMAZING!" Beauty smiled happily, her eyes sparkling at the sight of a thanksgiving sized meal on a long table.
"Oh, thank Ms. Ami. She's my parent's personal chef." Rei said, pointing to a middle aged woman with long, green hair tied in a ponytail wearing a white apron and a purple dress.
She didn't say anything, but gracefully bowed to the guests.
"Can we eat it?" Don Patch asked, actually thinking before doing for once, afraid of ending up like Bobobo.
"Sure." Rei said, and Beauty, Don Patch, and Bobobo immediately jumped into the food.
"Hey, Rei. Can Me and Heppokomaru go upstairs and change. I'm so tired of walking around in my school uniform for longer than normal!" Pokomi asked.
"Sure. Knock yourselves out." Rei said, as she proceeded to eat. "BOBOBO! YOU TOOK THE LAST PIECE OF SHRIMP!" Softon yelled in anger.
"WELL I'M SORRY, BUT I'M STARVING HERE!" Bobobo yelled.
"Good boy, Bobobo. Now eat your vegetables so you can grow up to be a big, strong man." Patches said, spoon feeding Bobobo, who was dressed as a baby and sitting in a highchair.
"Are they always this random?" Rei asked Beauty.
"Yea. They're something aren't they?" Beauty replied, sweat dropping at the two. "Rei! HEPPOKOMARU'S BEING MEAN TO ME! CAN YOU PUNCH HIM LIKE YOU DID BOBOBO FOR ME!" Pokomi yelled, coming down the steps, all dressed in a new outfit.
Her pigtails were held with blue and white polka-dot ribbons, she wore a white crop top with a light blue bolero jacket over it, white skinny jeans with a blue belt with a star buckle and glitter all over it and a silver chain hanging from the side of it, dark blue boots that were a bit below her knees with small, star shaped heels on them, white and light blue bracelets and white star shaped dangling earrings with blue jewels in the middle of them.
Bobobo began to cry suddenly, too, at Pokomi's comment.
"Why'd ya have to say it like that Pokomi? WAHAHAH!" Bobobo cried loudly. However, no one paid any attention to him, which hurt his feelings even more. So he cried louder.
"Grr…SHUT UP!" Rei screamed, with her fist in the air, ready to punch Bobobo again. However, he guarded him face this time in fear, so Rei stopped.
"Yea, that's what I thought." Rei said, lowering her fist.
"Hehehe." Beauty giggled at how Bobobo was so afraid of Rei, who was actually not much bigger than Beauty, only standing about 5'4, 4 inches taller than the pink haired girl.
"Bobobo, I doubt you're gonna have any teeth left if you keep acting dumb around Rei." Heppokomaru said, walking down the steps in another outfit as well.
He wore a blue jean jacket with the sleeves cut and a white and black skull and cross bones on the back of it, a black shirt, blue jeans with silver and gold chains on the side, a black collar with a silver line going through the middle of it, a small, gold chain necklace on his neck, two black straps slightly under his left shoulder with a gold buckle in the middle of each, black gloves with the fingers cut out and a thin, a gold hoop in his first piercing and silver studs in the other two in both ears, a cartilage piercing with a gold hoop in it on his right ear, still with a gold ring on his bottom lip, and wearing black and white sneakers. He also had a tattoo on his right arm reading Pokomi's name in kanji with a ribbon like design under it and some kind of saying under it, also in kanji.
"AW! LOOK AT HIM! HE'S SO GROWN UP!" Bobobo said, hugging his teenaged friend as if he were a plush toy. Pokomi just looked at Bobobo smoother her brother in envy.
"Hmph. How come when somebody as cute as me walks down you don't notice but if he walks down it's a big huge commotion?" Pokomi said in jealousy.
"And why does a boy your age have a tattoo!? Kids these days!" Bobobo said. Heppokomaru didn't answer, just looked at him with an annoyed type look.
"Hey! You guys ate like ALL the food!" Pokomi yelled in anger.
"Yep. Sure did and it was GOOD!" Don Patch said, tapping his belly like a stuffed pig.
However, for no reason at all, Bobobo body slammed Don Patch and they got into a big fist fight.
Everyone just laughed at them and all was well. But they didn't know one thing. Someone was secretly spying on them through the window.
"Hm. Bobobo…You really think you can defeat our empire, you're sadly mistaken." A deep voice said in the bushes outside of Rei's mansion of a home.
"That's right. Just because he beat Hajimaru, who's only in M Block, he probably thinks he's running the world. But he's wrong." a womanly voice said in anger.
"Yes. Our D-Block forces are going to crush him and his pathetic excuse of a team. He wont even make it to even our divine leader, Toshi." the man's voice said, laughing a bit.
"We'll just lead him to D-Block base and he can figure out the rest for himself, hopefully." the woman's voice snickered.
"It's just a matter of time. Then we'll strike." the man's voice laughed as the scene faded.
Uh Oh! The Ancient D-Block Hair Hunters are trying to lure Bobobo in! Will Bobobo figure out their plans ahead of time or will his stupidity cause him to get annihilated by Rei and her guns and superhuman punches? Find out on the next episode of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Genkitousen!