Drakken: Zero – Shego: Infinite!
Disclaimer: See chapter 1
Chapter 4 –
-Shego and Drakken are at their lair. Yeah…-
"Hey Drakken, ya want some advice on your next plan?" asked Shego without warning.
Drakken jumped and whipped round to face the smirking woman. He narrowed his eyes.
"Okaaaaaaaay…Wait, you mean the plan where we threaten to throw someone important off the Sears Tower?" he asked blankly.
Shego nodded.
"Yeah! If you ever fall off the Sears Tower because your plan got busted and ruined again, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy."
Drakken gaped at her. "…I think that's the most useless piece of advice I've ever heard, much less from you, Shego." He replied mockingly.
Shego narrowed her eyes on him, but shrugged as if she didn't care. "Yeah…you already look like a dummy, and who wants a blue dummy?" she called over her shoulder as she walked away.
"…But just so you know, Drakken, you have less brains than a dead iguana."
-Shego and Drakken's aniversay, or so Shego's saying…-
Drakken blinked down at the crude, hand-made card that Shego had stuffed into his hands as soon as he walked through the doorway. She beamed at him childishly.
It was that smile that made him feel nervous and unsafe.
"What's this for?" he asked suspiciously, eyeing her carefully. Shego smiled at him, making Drakken all the more nervous.
"It's our anniversary." She said simply, still smiling at him.
Drakken's jaw dropped. "WHAT?! SHEGO, ARE YOU FEELING ALRIGHT?!" he screeched, afraid that another Moodulator episode was beginning.
Shego narrowed her eyes on him, and Drakken got ready to start running.
"I'm fine, thanks for asking." She replied stiffly, "and if you'd let me finish, it's our anniversary for when we started evil together." She finished, smirking at him, now.
Drakken gulped nervously. "…Am I in trouble for not getting you anything?" he asked delicately. Shego cocked a brow at him and shook her head.
"Considering you've failed to take over the world two thousand times, I wouldn't trust you not to blow it up accidentally." She teased.
Drakken flushed.
"I didn't fail two thousand times, Shego…!" he yelled, trying to think of an excuse for his failures – err, loss-of-success.
Shego snorted. "Yeah, you just found two thousand ways not to take over the world, right?" she finished for him, smirking once more.
Drakken glared at her, as she stalked from the room.
"…Wait, where are you going?" asked Drakken, his eyes narrowed suspiciously again.
Shego stuck her head round the doorway again, grinning mischievously.
"I'm gonna go annoy Kim Possible, or perhaps her friends, Wade or Stoppable." She told him, putting on a thoughtful look at her afterthought.
Drakken snorted, rolled his eyes and walked from the room again. Shego went the other way, ready to annoy.
-Drakken is visiting his mother's house, and has dragged Shego along too-
Shego rolled her eyes as they entered the house.
A few seconds after entering, she wrinkled her nose in disgust.
"Eww…" she mumbled, glaring around at the peeling wallpaper.
Drakken turned to scowl at her. "What?" he snapped, clearly wanting to be away from there as quick as Shego did.
Shego sighed and smirked. "How come old people's houses always smell like someone's cooking dirty socks, or something?" she wondered.
Drakken rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen.
Shego's eyes widened at what Drakken said a few seconds after stopping dead in the doorway.
"Mother…is that your laundry on fire?!"
-Drakken has got a new take-over-the-world device and Shego is, well…see for youselves-
"Okay Drakken, what's this monstrosity called?" Shego asked, fairly confident that the new machine Drakken had stolen would blow up on its own. She wouldn't need to 'prompt' this one.
Drakken shot a glare at her, but replied anyway. Shego's eyes widened.
"…Isn't N.I.X.U.S a hair product?" she wondered thoughtfully.
Drakken frowned as well, and opened his mouth to reply, only to be cut off by the independent explosion of N.I.X.U.S.
Shego let out a cackle, and walked out, leaving Drakken to watch as the machine dissolved in a furry of flames.
-Drakken and Shego are fighting KP and RS. Again. deal-
"…You cheap bastard!" Shego exclaimed, blinking at Drakken in surprise.
Kim Possible smirked and launched herself at Shego, who dodged easily. Shego turned to blink at Kim instead. She scowled and rolled her eyes.
"You beeping beeping beep beep beeeeeep!" she swore colourfully.
Drakken sweetdropped.
"You have to beep out a lot with Shego around." He muttered.
"Beep straight you beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!"
"Watch your words, Shego, or I'll terminate your account!!"
Shego gasped, kicked Kim off of her, and got up again.
"You know Drakken," she said conversationally, whilst kicking Kim and Ron back into a wall. "I wasn't always a bitch."
"Oh, really?"
"Really. Men like you made me this way."
"…You really are a bitch."
"And proud!"
"...Just beat them up, Shego."
-At Drakken and Shego's lair. Shego has bought some sweets…-
"Hey Drakken, wanna sweet?"
"…What have you done to them? Are they poisonous?" Drakken asked suspiciously, eying the fish-shaped sweets Shego was offering him.
Shego continued to beam at him freakily. "Oh, they're not poisonous, they just carry very deadly diseases!"
"…Mail them to Possible. Or Stoppable, he might actually eat one."
Shego shrugged and popped a sweet in her mouth.
"Hmm…yummy-killing-ness!" she beamed, dancing out again.
Drakken blinked after her, 100 confused.
-At Drakken and Shego's lair-
Drakken glanced up warily as Shego wandered into the room aimlessly.
He narrowed his eyes as Shego sat down at the table opposite him.
"…I plan to be spontaneous tomorrow." She told him randomly, blinking at him as if she were looking through him.
Drakken had no answer to this.
But apparently Shego didn't care, for she merely got up again and wandered out again.
"Hey…that doesn't make sense!"
-At Drakken and Shego's lair. Drakken has YET ANOTHER new machine-thingie. Greaaaaaaaaaat-
"And with this, Shego, I CAN'T LOOOOOOOOOOSE!! MWAHAHAHA!"
Shego rolled her eyes as Drakken began an evil laugh…again.
"Don't count your chickens until they're crossed the road." She told him calmly.
Drakken frowned, evidently confused. "…What?" he asked.
Shego snorted with laughter, shook her head, and started up the machine with a bump, making Drakken fall out of his seat.
"WHA-!?!"
-Everyone's stuck in some kind of machine (belonging to and designed by Drakken) that everyone believes is about to blow up-
"…We're gonna die!!" Ron yelled, running round and round in circles.
Shego smirked. "Look at it this way; the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth."
Kim frowned. "So…it's either just a problem or the thing that'll kill us?" he asked.
Shego shrugged. "Put it another way and use the 50-50-90 rule."
"The what rule?!"
"The 50-50-90 rule. When there's a 50-50 chance of you succeeding, there's a 90 probability that you'll fail."
"Shego," Drakken cut in flatly, "is there anything you have to say that can help our situation?"
"…Yeah."
"Really? What?" Kim asked hopefully.
"When all else fails, read the handbook."
"…Oh yeah."
-Drakken has fallen over the edge of a really deep hole, and is hanging on the edge of it-
"SHEGO!! HELP MEEEEEEE!"
Shego glanced down at Drakken, who was still clinging to the edge of the hold for his very life.
"No."
"WHAT?!?! WHY?!!"
"If I help a man in trouble, he'll only remember me when he's in trouble the next time."
"BU-BUT-!!"
"Then again…" Shego sighed as she reached down and hauled Drakken out of the hole. He scrambled away from the edge and got up on his feet again.
"Thanks. What made you change your mind?" he asked attentively.
"Easy. I figured out that the sole purpose of your life is to serve as an example to others. Therefore, I need you to keep screwing up so I'm less-likely to."
"…Gee, thanks, Shego."
"No problem, Dr D."
Well, that's all for now! Oh, and I'm thinking of adding an OC to the mix – a friend of Shego's that is as random as she is, so I can help keep Shego in character a bit more.
Please tell me what you think? (If I get no reply about this then I'll add her – yes, she'll be a girl – to the story anyway).
PLEASE REVIEW!!
Naioka1992 - xoxo