Disclaimer: I don't own AMG, please don't sue me.
Chapter 4
Smiles, the one thing all creatures have in common for so many reasons, whether for sadism or compassion, they all express joy, the joy all creatures mortal or immortal are capable of feeling, there were many smiles and curling lips last night.
From the lowest hells to the highest heavens, many found reason to smile, and here on earth I have my reason now, curled up together under the covers, free to spend as long as she wants with me because she has no classes today.
Sound asleep, or just pretending, I can feel her trapped in that netherworld between sleep and waking, going through a waking dream that offered her a deal, that could sleep through anything if she kept it alive, a lovely thought little spirit but I'm afraid I'll have to deny you this request. She stirs and wiggles with every little prod and caress, she's smooth to the touch, as my fingernails glide across her skin she jerked away like I sent a bolt of lightning through her body. My hand cruises along her side, up her hip and down to her tummy, crawling with along with my fingers like a naught little animal looking to have my way with her innocent flesh. My fingers made their way to Megumi's breast, which hand hungrily devoured, encapsulating the fleshy globe, with my palm cupping the bottom of her breast while my fingers gently massage and tickle her.
Startled by my touch she tried to squirm from my grasp, only to quickly return to my embrace as I pressed myself against her, my breasts pressing into her back causing her squirming to become more playful as she gave into me. I played and squeezed her breast, occasionally pinching and tickling her nipple, as she quietly moaned and purred beneath me, I merely focused on how small she was, her breast was so puny compared to mine, it almost made me giggle when I remembered during the brief incident that Keiichi had a pair they were bigger than mine. So precious and so fragile, so soft, and as I played with her I felt something more intimate, amplified through her breast I felt her heartbeat, a good, strong regular heartbeat not unlike other humans, though I had never really taken the time before to consider this, it just shows how different the two of us are.
Her heart beats, her blood flows, her body is basically a skeleton surrounded by a big bag of water, and this is the only thing holding her together, she breaks if you squeeze or twist or hit her too hard, if she gets too cold or too hot, the sort of thing that we could shrug off would kill her or at least cripple her permanently. Whenever me and Skuld used to play around with Keiichi we always knew our limits, we always made sure we were never too rough with him, we knew full well what we were capable of and what he could survive, and of course what Belldandy would be capable of if we ever went too far. As a goddess I'm fully aware of fragile mortals are, but when now that I'm actually in a relationship with one, the weight of this knowledge suddenly felt heavier, seemingly taking on a whole new dimension.
My body doesn't work the same way hers does, she's like a machine, a piece of clockwork that tics along, or rather pumps considering how dependent she is on the flow of blood to keep her going. A goddess's 'body' here in this realm isn't really our full form, it is but a fraction of ourselves, an avatar if you will, one of the purposes of our seals is to ensure the full breath of ourselves and the power we hold doesn't end just annihilating this planet by our very presence. As such a goddess's body works differently; our form exudes what humans would describe as a calming, welcoming, benign warmth, not heat but warmth, our bodies don't have working parts but rather we're animated and filled by the essence of spiritual energy, the sort of thing that the souls of all creatures are made from, the essence of the universe itself, inside our bodies our souls are surrounded by this essence which gives shape and form to our physical beings.
My train of thought is broken as Megumi stirred, as she came to be fully awake my embrace around tightened, moving my lips to her ear I whispered sweet greetings to start her morning.
"Good morning my love, how about we start this morning off with a bang." I whisper excitedly as my hand travels from her breast and slowly makes its way to the delta of Megumi's thighs.
"Mm, maybe later." She said with a sombre voice; bring a hand to block mine.
Did I do something? I would never read her mind, that's a personal boundary that even I know shouldn't be crossed, but even without that ability it's all too easy to see that something's bothering her.
"I feel dirty, I need to bathe."
"Oh, I thought all mortals smelled this way." Bad Urd, I can just never resist the opportunity to get a joke in.
"Mm, sorry I don't naturally smell of perfume, but we mere mortals need to bathe occasionally to keep ourselves fresh and clean." She says with a healthy dose of sarcasm.
"In that case I think I'll join you."
"Oh? Thanks for the offer but I can scrub my own back."
"You're not the only one who has health needs; we goddesses need to bathe at least once a day as part of our absolutions."
"Is that the excuse you used every time you tried to feel up my brother?"
"Nah, he's just so cute when he tries hiding his erection."
And so we both found ourselves sharing my very small bath tub, it was just big enough for both of use to fit in thankfully, though it meant that Urd would take a position behind me and I would have to sit in a position that strategically had my back to her, something I'm not entirely unconvinced she planned. Resting my back on my partner's ample bosom, she affectionately embraced me with her gentle arms wrapping around my stomach and her legs intertwining with my own. I let my head loll back and rest upon her collarbone, and in response she placed her lips my neck and planted a line of kisses along its length, she takes a bar of soap in her right hand and begins rubbing it on my belly.
"You know once I'm done you'll have to return the favour."
"Heh, well I'm afraid I'm too small to provide with anywhere for you to comfortably rest your back."
With her free hand Urd grabbed a small towel, in unison she soaped my skin with one hand and scrubbed me with the other, her touch was always soothing but today my mind was weighed by something more, so I kept my head down and simply watched her hands work, until I saw she was making her way up to my breasts, I quickly brought a hand to take hold of her wrist.
"Urd, I have to ask something."
"What?" She said with concern.
"Do we really have a future together, even if we have this contract, will you still want to be with my when I'm old and wrinkled?"
She stayed silent for the moment, her hands fell away from my stomach, I didn't turn to look at her, but I could feel an uncomfortable heat radiating from her, it was a harsh sort of heat, the kind that a person experiences when they try to hold back their tears.
And then I feel her hands touch me again, laying themselves upon my back, soaping with one hand and gently scrubbing with the other.
"Do you really need to ask such a thing?"
"It's just a thought that crossed my mind last night, but I couldn't help but ask, is being with a mortal so attractive? You know I'm not going to live forever, that I'm going to age, I'm always going to be this same fragile thing, I bruise and break easy, I'll get sick, I'll age and eventually die."
"Of course I'll stay, none of those things matter, even without that contract I would be more than happy to be by your side, if you wanted me I'd stay with you all the way from cradle to grave, and even after that I'd stay with you, and make sure you'd always be safe and happy."
"So does that mean you'd stay with me even during the afterlife?"
"Well of course, being the lover of a goddess does have its benefits."
"Hmm, I wouldn't mind where I'd end up really; heaven will be wherever you are."
"I'm not a perfect goddess mind you, but I'm not so vain that I'd allow such trivialities to come between us."
"But don't you see? It's the fact that you consider them trivialities at all that matters to me!"
I turned and look her straight in the eyes, she seemed nervous, apprehensive, her eyes looked bewildered as if she didn't entirely expect this kind of response.
"What's gotten into you today, you aren't normally like this?"
"How would you know, we've only been together for at most a couple of days?"
"Sorry, you just never struck me as the sort of girl who thought about these things."
"Well I've never had the opportunity really; it's only now that I know for a fact that goddesses and demons exist, and that the people who I thought were my closest friends and family were hiding this huge secret from me!"
We both stayed silent for a while, just looking at each other, her face changed from a look of shock to a look of regret, it hurt me to see her like this, I'm not even sure what got me worked up now, but at the time the thought just seemed so frustrating, right now all I can feel is that this person who loves me also lied to me for as long as I've known her.
"Keiichi didn't ask these kinds of questions for a few years."
"I'm not Keiichi."
"Oh don't worry I'm well aware, he was so enamoured with Belldandy he never even considered these sort of questions for a couple years."
She scratched the back of her head and smiled nervously, trying to diffuse the tension, I let out a small sigh and allowed some of that tension to leave my body.
"I'm sorry; I guess I just ruined a lovely bath, huh?"
"No, you didn't do anything wrong, like I said, you have every right to be angry with me for all this, I know I would be if I were in your position."
"It's just, I guess it just took a little time for all of it to sink in, but I just want to know, do you really understand, I mean really understand how all this makes me feel?"
She just stayed silent.
"It's not just the lies, it's everything, what you said was huge, it took everything I thought I knew about the world and you turned it all upside down, now it's like I'm living in a different world, like everything that's ever happened has changed, taken on new meanings or no meaning at all."
She lowered her gaze; she couldn't look me in the eye anymore, though I think it has more to do with how I was saying it than what I was saying.
She's right, I offer a half-hearted defence, but everything she says is true, though I really shouldn't be surprised, it's foolish to believe that she would've forgotten this or accepted this revelation so easily. How do I deal with this? What a pathetic person I am to ask myself this, but it's true, I never once considered what I would say or do if Megumi or anyone else outside our little clique ever found out the truth, hell I would always be first in line to drug them and wipe their minds of it.
"How can I make this right?"
"I-I don't know, I just need time I think, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't want to ruin this, I guess I'm not really used to the idea though, I mean after everything that's happened I guess I really didn't have time for stuff like this to really sink in was all."
Well at least she doesn't hate me.
A great start to a great day, one of the few free days I have and I end up screaming at a goddess who wants nothing more than to do naughty things me in the bathtub, you're really something Megumi Morisato!
What got into me just now? I really should've handled that better, but I just felt like I couldn't hold that in anymore, like some nagging little firebug in the back of my brain made my emotions suddenly flare up. I hope she doesn't hold a grudge, but I already know that's a stupid question, best to pick up maybe a bottle of sake and some chocolates on my way back home. Does this count as our first lover's tiff? I guess it probably makes us an official couple now.
I really want to punch Keiichi right in the nose, he's the one I should really be angry with, not Urd or her sisters, well maybe a bit, but still he's my brother, and he just kept this huge secret from me for years and years, even after those two got married I was still left out of the loop, and don't get me started on how he just completely cut Takano and Keima. He can be such a selfish jerk sometimes, I mean what was he so afraid of, even if he didn't want to let the whole world know who could've still told me, I'd be able to keep it secret. But still, ultimately it would always be Urd who did the deed, she more than any of them were complicit in all this, and now she's here, sharing my bed and having her way with my body now and along with my mind.
Why I am so fixated on this, is it really something I should get so worked up over, she did apologize, but still something like this feels so big it can't just wiped away.
I needed the fresh air, the wind in my hair feels nice, I should know better than to ride without my helmet on, but right now I could use a little recklessness in my life.
She's right, everything she said is true, I said so myself, I was a fool, not just now, but since I met her, looking back it all seems so silly, in retrospect it was always Keiichi that was the most concerned for people finding out the truth, I juts treated it as a sort of game, playing around with the heads of mortals had always been a source of entertainment for me, and Megumi seemed no different. At least that's how it was at first, but as time went on and this place grew on me I started to see them not as playthings but as my friends, and that makes my behaviour even more despicable, as drugging and confusing Megumi stopped being a game and just became a routine we fell into.
What a pathetic excuse for a goddess I am, a trickster who spends more time tormenting people than helping them, maybe my mother was right all this time. Can she forgive me? Should she forgive me? How do I make this up to her?
I wonder now, why did the system force approve this wish, were we really meant to be together or was this just some sort of punishment, some cruel joke. Megumi, from the moment I met her I knew this girl was going to be fun, the perfect drinking partner for every occasion, always willing, always able to hold her own and always funny whenever she got drunk. I love her like a sister, maybe more I think, but then what does our relationship have to stand on, since her wish was granted our relationship has been little more than physical indulgences, Keiichi and Belldandy grew to love each other but have I ever had anything close to that.
For a goddess of love, what experience do I really have with the subject, sure I have experience with the physical aspects of love, but really I've never had a fulfilling relationship with a person I truly loved or loved me in return, people just use me up and I also use them, is this what I'm doing to Megumi now?
Is this all I am, a whore and a user, I just use people up for sex and throw them away? Except maybe in the case of Troubadour, he may have had a thick skull but he always made such lovely music, he was the only one to leave me first, he wasn't any more special than any of the others, but he left me and not the other way around. He went to pursue his own happiness and that happiness had no place for me, so what do it say about me that my pride is wounded by the one that got away, by the one that ended up using me. What does it say about the goddess of love who cares for herself than for the hearts she's broken.
So what does that make Megumi to me, is this a chance at redemption, to finally get things right? Or is this just me being selfish again and switching from indulging in the thrill of carnal excitement for self-loathing.
Eternity never ceases to give you a pleasant surprise, Urd the goddess of love, 2nd rate goddess finally gets her face shoved in humble pie, a goddess who inelegantly wanders around causing mischief to any poor soul that crosses her path, and now here she is, forced to live with a mortal, bound for an entire human lifespan, its almost enough to make you want to laugh.
"OHOHOHHOHOHOOHOHHO!"
I can hear my little bridge bunnies mutter to themselves, asking 'what's she on about this time', 'try not to say that too loud she has ears like a bat', 'you don't want to have to weird a maid outfit again'. Oh my silly little underlings, you do raise a good point though, French maid uniforms should be coming back in style this season.
But this is simply too delicious a predicament, and to think it was Keiichi's sister who made this wish! I wonder what is it with those Morisatos, rarely do these kinds of wishes ever get approved, has the ultimate system force become a dating service? If so where's my prince or princess charming?
But still, Megumi Morisato, never really met the girl, but she seemed nice enough, I have to say I feel sorry for her having to bear the brunt of Urd from now on, but then I do wonder if she is as good as they say. No Peorth, you mustn't go down that dark path, you should know that giving into such temptation leads you to getting drugged and then goddess knows what at the whims of a sadistic madwoman, though then again that sounds like a fun way to spend a weekend.
Then again, such a relationship might have friction, Urd may be able to understand the lusts of a mortal but not what they truly desire in their hearts, after all she's only a second class goddess, knowing the heart's desire of a mortal is the exclusive purview of one such as I! Oh yes, truly there would nothing more noble than to play the matchmaker, the nurturer of true romance, to bring about a love story like that of which the ages have never seen!
Hmm, I wonder if I have some vacation time coming up, events like this are so sweet they must be savoured.
"My, my, my, now this is a sight I don't think I would ever see, the great goddess Urd is sulking in self-pity!"
It came to me like an annoying little gnat buzzing in my ear, I opened my eyes to see a little doll sized Peorth floating in front my face; not being the mood for such things my first reaction was to smack her with my pillow. The annoying little gnat smacked right into a wall, where she disappeared in a puff of pink smoke, only to be replaced by an identical clone that appeared right in front of me.
"How rude."
"This isn't a good time!"
"All the more reason you need the intervention of this budding goddess of love to help you and your beloved mortal find happiness together!" The little imp said as she struck a melodramatic pose and roses spontaneously appeared from thin air.
"Oh goddess is this how I sounded like to Keiichi?"
Unwilling to hear anymore of her prattle I quickly wrapped my pillows around my head and squeezed into my ears to block out any further annoyances. The little imp tried to grab my attention, I could feel her tiny fingers poking and prodding and tickling my sides in an attempt to gain my frustration, only to be met with more stubbornness on my part. Eventually the annoyances stopped, only to be replaced by a full grown foot sending a hard kick to my side, now that got my attention.
"AAAAAAHHH, WHAT THE HELL?" Was probably the more restrained version of what I said.
And so she stood there in front of me, the look on her face scolding me and pose reeked with her sense of superiority.
"This isn't the best time."
"Oh so the goddess of love has trouble with her own love life, I suppose that's not really a surprise."
"If you came here just to be snide and sarcastic then I'm really not in the mood." At this point I was extremely tempted to use an Urd bolt, but then I wouldn't want to have to explain to Megumi's neighbours how lightning suddenly appeared on a cloudless day.
"Tut tut my dear Urd, do you think I would simply come here empty handed if I didn't think you really needed help?"
I was about to make a spiteful comeback, but I held my tongue knowing better, Peorth was many things but she normally wouldn't commit herself to something, no matter how frivolous seeming, unless she had good reason or something she intended to accomplish.
"I'm a bit surprised you didn't notice it before, but I suppose you were too caught up in the drama to really take notice."
"What are you talking about?"
"Did you not scan Megumi's aura or at least take a surface scan of mind during your argument? If you did you'd notice someone's been playing with her head."
Her words hit hard, I should've known better and checked for myself, but I wanted to respect Megumi's privacy, but I still should have noticed it earlier, it's very subtle and almost faded now but I can still feel it vibrating in the air. A very subtle spell, the kind used to manipulate a mortal's mind, in this case it's a spell designed to breed frustration, if I had read Megumi when I had the chance this wouldn't have happened. Whoever's behind this knew exactly how to push my buttons, I don't like that.
"You should probably go after her now, if someone really is out to get her, how do you think your dear lover will fare without your protection?"
It's nice out here, the mountain road on a nice, cloudless day, the wind rushing through my hair and face, for a while this feeling was what I thought heaven would be like, and then I had my first night together with Urd. I know how sentimental that sounds, but maybe the open air is doing me good, I hope she'll forgive me when I come back but just to be safe best to stop off at a liquor store.
Going this fast almost makes me feel like I'm flying, I was so lost in the sensations I completely I failed to see what was ahead of me, I couldn't tell whether it was some kind of pot hole or a speed bump, but whatever I hit literally sent me flying off my seat. Time seemed to slow down in that instant, every second almost seemed an eternity, I could hear my own heartbeat as my body seemed to float through the air.
But just before I hit the pavement, I felt a pair of big strong arms grab hold of me and pull me to safety; does this make me a damsel in distress now? I hope not, I hate those women. I look upon the face of my saviour, almost half expecting to see some cheesy Kamen Rider rip off lifting me to safety, but instead was face to face with a most beautiful sight, it was the face of an angel, she bore the likeness of Urd, especially her deep violet eyes, but her skin was pale and white as opposed to Urd's lovely bronze, her hair was long and wild, spreading out and floating of its own accord and split between black and white right down the middle. One thing was for certain though, she and Urd shared the same tastes in wardrobe, or rather the lack thereof.
This strange woman embraced me for dear life, wrapping me in her arms and pressing her quite voluptuous body against mine, pressing my cheek against her bosoms as she madly kisses my head, like some kind of overly concerned surrogate mother. My body is then embraced by another body that I have become all too familiar with, my dear sweet Urd.
"Silly girl, you really should know better than this." She chided in soft and loving voice.
"My hero."
"Then why don't you reward your heroine with a kiss, sweet princess."
That wasn't a request, but after all who was I to refuse.
Urd pressed her lips onto mine and kissed deep, I placed my hand on the back of her head to gently encourage her.
And like the princess from the fairytale, my dear maiden Megumi fell into a deep sleep, it's for the best, until I find a good way to explain all this to her its best she not know. Hell I'm not sure I can really explain any of this to myself, but that's all the more reason to demand answers.
"MARA!"
No flashy entrance, no puff of smoke, she just materialized in front of me from thin air, walking towards me in a pair of bright red stiletto boots, wearing an equally red BDSM get up, her hair returned to its uncontrolled friskiness since last we met.
"So what's this, another assignment?"
"No, I did this of my own accord, call it something of a personal project."
"What the hell were you think, she could've died!"
"And what if she did, wouldn't your contract just extend into her afterlife?" She spoke with a very noticeable tone of contempt; this wasn't exactly something I was willing to tolerate from her.
"Whatever you have against me you leave her out of this!" I said through clenched teeth, clenching my one free hand while the other cradled Megumi's form.
"You have your mother's eyes."
She softened, both in tone and in posture as she spoke.
"What is all this, why are you trying hurt her?"
"Because she's in the way, and you hurt me first!"
I remained silent; I knew what this was about.
"You were supposed to be mine; we were supposed to be together, always together, between us our careers, our race, was irrelevant, you always showed me the closest thing and yet in the end you betray me! And for what, for her? For that thing, that stupid, worthless little sow, a filthy mortal whose very contact with you blemishes you, a pathetic little bag of meat and bone and nerves that'll stop working in a few decades, that's worth more to you than me?"
"Mara, my dear sweet Mara."
"You're not allowed to call me that anymore."
"I'm sorry I hurt you, but you have to know, I do love you."
"Then why, why don't you, why do you share you bed with another!"
"Because even if I do, I can't ever return your feelings, if I did you know the path it would lead me down."
"And what's wrong with that path, what's wrong with being a demon, if you were really so damn proud of being a goddess you would have never come so close to start with!"
And with that she disappeared, were those tears in her eyes, are these tears in my eyes? Is this just regret for hurting Mara? Or do I really want to return her love, what does that mean for Megumi, can I love both her and Mara, could they love me and each other. If I were in a better mood, my mind would probably make up some dirty fantasies about such things, but now's not the time, now I should be getting Megumi back to somewhere safe.
"I guess I have to thank you, you're really not as useless as you appear to be.
'Urd?'
"I guess I'll have to take that as a compliment, but know that I meant what I said, I intend to stay by your side and play the role of your personal goddess of love."
'And someone else? Who's that, sounds familiar.'
"Don't you have a job or something, duties of a first class goddess that require your attention?"
"Didn't you have similar duties when you chased after your sister and her fancies? Besides I always find I have a conveniently large amount of vacation time whenever you're involved. T'is fate no?"
"Oh joy."
"Besides, who knows it might be fun, perhaps the fates will land us all together in an entertaining scenario not unlike you and your sisters had not too long ago."
"I can hardly wait."
I stayed silent and immobile, feigning sleep until the second voice left, signalling her departure was a sound that wasn't unlike the sound I remember Urd made when she first appeared to me, so was this another goddess?
"Hey, what'd I miss?" I asked innocently as I roused from my fake slumber.
"Nothing yet, I was waiting for you to get up so I could give you a proper scolding like a good big sister should."
"Oh, I do hope there'll be spanking involved, I might have to be a naughty girl more often then."
Still hiding things from me?
"What you did was stupid and reckless, I won't tell Keiichi or your parents, but only if you tell me why you would do something so obviously idiotic."
Her tone was firm and strong, I could barely bring myself to look into her eyes, she made a very good big sister.
"I'm sorry Urd."
"Don't tell me sorry, that's not what I want to hear."
At this point I had the overwhelming urge to choke on my own tongue.
"Don't try and tell me it was because you're mad at me, this goes deeper doesn't it, there's something you haven't told me."
"I've been unhappy."
"What?"
"I know that's not an excuse, but it's the best I can give you."
"What are you talking about?" There's no compassion in her voice anymore, just contempt.
"I know there's no excuse for what I did, and there's really explanation, I never done anything this stupid before in my and I still don't know why I would do this at all to begin with, but the best I can give you is that I've been unhappy for a long time. My life has been so empty; it just got worse without Keiichi and the rest of you."
"Us? What do we have to do with you being unhappy?"
"I've broken up with three boyfriends, I may not act like it or tell anyone but I just felt like love was something beyond me, you guys were the closest things I've had to a family living out here. I don't live in a nice home, I don't have adventures or find true love, I just stay in this crappy apartment and every night feel like my whole life has just been mistake after mistake."
And you were never there for me.
"And you were never there for me, you never once came to visit, you never sought me out and took me into your circle because it turns out you never wanted me to get close, you never wanted me there to begin with!"
We both remained quiet for a while, I don't think either one of us wanted to break the silence, all there was now was the sunset, bathing my apartment in an orange hue.
"I can't blame you for that, because once again you're right, you felt isolated because you were isolated, it was always you coming to us with your problems and we never made the effort to include you, to love you and cherish you as we did each other. I promise you, I'll spend every day we have together trying to make up for all that, but only if you promise me that you will never, ever punish me or yourself with anymore destructive self-loathing."
I took a moment to take that all in, and then I smiled at her.
"It's a deal."
"Good, then maybe we start now, where did we leave off again? Ah yes, the damsel in distress receives her kiss from princess charming."
(TO BE CONTINUED)
A/N: Please r/r, hey everyone sorry for the long wait, but university and lack of energy and/or focus had kept me from finishing this up any earlier. I hope you guys enjoyed this, and don't the lack of fan service that happened in this chapter, but rest assured I intend to make up for it in the future. And in case you're wondering, yes I intend to move the setting to the temple, since Keiichi isn't using it, Megumi and Urd might as well shack up there and take on a few guests while they're at it. Also how will the love triangle between Urd, Megumi and Mara resolve itself? No idea yet, but rest assured I will include Mara in the main cast and her ties to Urd along with Urd's self-loathing will feature heavily in future chapters.
Also as to what to expect in the next chapter: HILD!