A/N : This is a short chapter. Deliberately.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS or its characters.
Once inside, Gibbs took several deep breaths to calm himself down. What had just taken place outside; had no bearing on what happened from here on. Re-focusing; he headed to the guest bedroom to check on Tim and Abby. Ducky had been too quiet, too. Gibbs was beginning to get worried. Stomping down on the needless emotion; he slowly and silently opened the bedroom door; just enough to peek at how everyone was doing. Seeing Ducky asleep in his chair brought a smile to his face. Bless the ole guy! Moving his eyes over to the bed; he was relieved to see Tim's arm still protectively around Abby as she slept at his side.
Gibbs enjoyed the feeling that; at least for the moment; this portion of his family was safe and regaining ground on their soundness; as well as finding rest through their personal storm. Noting a slight movement at the edge of his vision; Gibbs shifted his eyes up to his Agent's face; fully expecting him to still be sleeping peacefully; he was completely startled to see that he was in fact; wide awake; staring up at the ceiling; silent tears streaming down his face. The next movement was clearly visible; as Tim silently and carefully moved his arm; so he could slowly wipe his tears away; without disturbing his roommates; most especially his bunkmate.
Not wanting to invade his privacy; Gibbs silently withdrew and headed back downstairs. While grateful that Tim had rejoined the land of the living; he hurt for him. And while Gibbs wasn't certain that Tim wanted or even needed to be alone right now; he strongly suspected that if he had really wanted to not be alone; he would not have been so careful not to wake his roommates. As hard as it was; Gibbs decided to leave Tim alone; let him handle his pain privately; watching from a distance. He would not let him flounder through it completely alone; by any stretch.
Going back to the kitchen; Gibbs sat lost in thought; while suspecting that Tim's withdrawal had been brought on by self-appointed guilt; he'd been relieved that Abby had been quick to take care of that; and that Ducky had supervised his agent's return to the land of the living; as well as obviously making sure he got some much needed sleep. Damn, he wished he could figure out who the hell was behind this! Looking at his watch; he noted that it had been a half hour since he'd come down from checking on the sleeping bunch. Wanting to give Tim a kick-start back into the investigation and away from feeling like the victim; Gibbs decided it was time to rouse him up.
As he headed back to the guest bedroom; he made sure he kept his entry quiet; not wanting to startle Abby or Ducky awake. Tim deserved a more circumspect method of putting his emotions back in check. Peeking into the room; Gibbs found that Tim had already regained his composure; but was now silently waging war with the rest of his pain; fighting its' way out. He was so unused to being the focus of an attack of this nature; he was seriously struggling with how to deal with it. His eyes were full of that pain; his free hand fisted and unfisted around the blanket that he was laying on; the knuckles white with strain and his body was stiff with effort to not give in. His suffering agent looked ready to explode. It was definitely time to get him out of there before any more time in this agitated state sent him over the edge.
Knocking softly on the door; so that only an awake person would hear it; Gibbs silently waited to see what Tim's reaction would be. Instantly, the young man's eyes snapped shut; in an immediate rush to hide what he was feeling. He visably forced himself to calm down. Gibbs silently walked to where Tim could see him; and offered him a silent hand up; careful not to disturb Abby.
Tim silently and morosely followed in Gibbs footsteps to the kitchen. Wearing the look of someone who was desperate for a sanctioned meltdown; he sat hunched over in the chair; not knowing what to do with himself or what to say. Although he felt better now that he'd gotten some sleep; and had heard Abby's conviction that he wasn't to blame; the blessed numbness was gone. Now he hurt; the excruciating screaming; crying at the injustice of it all; kind of hurt that fought to be let out.
Gibbs, watching him for a long silent minute; figured he needed to let it out before he blew up at someone or worse. Silently, he motioned for Tim to follow him down to the basement. The young man did so with much trepidation. Boats. He sucked at carpentry! Maybe Gibbs was gonna let him hack all his hard work into bits to work out some of his anger? Yeah, Right, Tim; like that would ever happen!
As they descended the steps into the basement; Tim was surprised and relieved to find; instead of a boat; a punching bag with gloves. Handing Tim the gloves; Gibbs watched as the young man just stared at them.
"Go, on, Tim; put em on." Gibbs instructed quietly.
Ever the obedient agent; Tim did as Gibbs told him; and put the gloves on; still not making an effort to attack the bag. Gibbs moved to stand behind the bag and encouraged him to hit it.
"I can't, Boss." Tim explained dejectedly; taking the gloves back off.
"Talk to me." Gibbs requested.
"About what?" Tim asked; not understanding where Gibbs was going with this.
"Why it is you can't let yourself let it out?" Gibbs' tone hadn't changed. It was still quiet and concerned.
"I just…I dunno…I just cant'." Tim stammered.
"Is there some unwritten McGee code that says you have to keep everything bottled up in front of anyone else?" Gibbs asked; thinking he'd figured it out.
"Actually, that's it exactly, Boss. I just can't seem to work past being raised that way. My father firmly enforced the "Yo're a man; don't cry." Tim sadly explained.
"Tim, do something for me. Ask yourself this question. "Do I want to let this bury me; or do I want to allow myself a minute to let it all out so I can re-focus and catch these bastards?" Gibbs tone picked up in volume and intensity; hoping to kick start Tim's desire to get past this.
"If you're willing to re focus; then I suggest you allow yourself to get rid of everything that's building up; weighing you down right now."
"I don't know how." Tim admitted; looking Gibbs in the eye for the first time since they'd reached the basement.
"Yeah? You mean when there's people around? Okay. I get that. But, you've already rejected the gloves as an option. Okay. Try this; when you think of Jethro right now, what do you see in your mind?"
Tim's eyes instantly filled with anger. Gibbs was glad to see it and pushed the issue; deliberately adding fuel to the fire; wanting him to explode; here where it could be dealt with constructively; to let it all out so he could re-focus.
"They watched you. They followed you. They targeted you and they targeted Jethro."
Tim froze. His anger left his eyes; only to be replaced instantly with fear; desolate; helpless; heart-wrenching, shaking fear. They'd be back for him; he was sure of it!
Gibbs mentally head slapped himself. Damn it! This was the last thing he'd wanted to do to this kid. Quickly, he stepped up and pulled him into a reassuring hug and quietly promised him:
"We will not let them get to you! I'm sorry. I was only pushing you to get you to address your anger; I wanted you to lash out at the bag. I'm sorry, Tim"
Tim lost the fight. Where his anger hadn't done it for him; his fear and his boss' efforts to get him to address both that fear and anger he'd been fighting so hard to keep bottled up; did. While he wasn't lashing out with it; he was now letting it out; As Tim's sobs wracked his shoulders and soaked Gibbs' shirt; Gibbs sent up a silent prayer of thanks that his surrogate son was trusting him enough to let him in; letting him help him through this private hell. Holding him firmly; he quietly encouraged him to let it all out and promised to be there for him through it all.
Several heart wrenching; grief stricken moments later; Gibbs frowned as his hearing picked up the sound of someone carefully opening his basement door. Looking up from where he was holding Tim through his raging storm; he found Ducky already turning back around from the door and closing it. Thankful that it had been Ducky and no one else; Gibbs wiped the frown off his face and re-focused on his now silent agent.
Having cried himself dry and gotten all of his wayward emotions out or put back under wraps; Tim once again felt drained; but in a calm sense; now. At the moment he felt safe; safer than he'd felt since this whole nightmare started. He found himself not wanting to move; which in turn scared the hell out of him. Forcing himself to pull back from Gibbs; he smiled a small smile of gratitude and said:
"Thank you." His voice was small but sincere.
"Feel better?"
In response, Tim found he couldn't answer honestly without raising more questions; which he didn't want. The small smile he offered didn't reach his eyes. Looking Gibbs in the eye; he told him:
"I need to go check on Abby."
Understanding that Tim had reached his limit on letting his emotions out; Gibbs let him go. He knew that from this point, Tim would stoically bear every & any emotion that hit him; without a word to anyone. Tim hated being seen as weak; something he'd felt under a microscope about since joining this team; and they all knew it. Gibbs promised his agent silently; "I won't let you get lost in this, Tim."
Going back upstairs; Gibbs ordered pizza and sandwiches for lunch; and as he waited for it all to arrive; he once again, made the rounds through his house to check on everyone. The agents outside were still hard at work processing the front yard. Tim was now quietly sitting on the back porch with Abby; along with Ducky. None of them were doing any talking. Not surprisingly; Tim was sitting with his back to the yard; not wanting to be too acutely reminded of what had just happened out there. Gibbs was surprised he was out there at all. Abby had probably encouraged him; and Ducky had more than likely had a hand in helping get that far, as well.
Seeing the three of them so quiet; knowing the reason behind it; hurt Gibbs' heart. Not wanting to disrupt the peace and quiet they were giving each other; he turned to go back to the kitchen. His movement at the French Doors caught Tim's attention. As Tim's eyes caught his; Gibbs tried to silently ask his agent if he was okay. Tim managed to give him a small smile; still not reaching his eyes; but it was something and Gibbs accepted it; giving him an encouraging smile in return.
It was a damn good start.