I opened my eyes. I was wondering where I was and why the surface I was resting my head on was warm... And breathing? I remembered last night: the ritual, Peter, the whole comfort session.
"Ew!" I said aloud as I sat up from his chest.
"What?" Peter asked.
"You're awake?"
"Yeah, didn't want to wake you. Why'd you 'ew' me?"
For a flash I felt a flicker of hurt.
"Well, cause ew!" I sputtered, gesturing.
He rolled his eyes, "And you insist you're 'older'."
"My soul yes, mind and maturity level no. Besides, it's gross; cuddling yuck and with you even worse."
" What ever happened to 'oh, I've had offers' I'd assume 'cuddling' came with offer territory?"
"What happened last night wasn't an 'offer' it was... generosity. Anyways, I never said I took any offers. I'm naive remember not stupid."
"And I'm not saying last night was either just that I'd assumed YOU could be the grown up since I'M the immature perverted brat, remember?"
"Okay, that was childish of me. I just..."
"You're still being careful?"
" I yeah, how?"
"The bond thing, I kind of sensed your worry."
"Then that hurt I felt, wasn't me. It was you?"
"What?"
"When I said 'ew', for a split second you were hurt."
He shuffled. " Yeah, wondering why somebody could think this was gross." He replied, gesturing to his body.
I felt nervousness.
" We can't lie to each other now."
"... I just was... content with the idea of not being repulsive to somebody."
" I get it. Just don't get all soft on me, boy. " I said with a smile before turning away.
"What was that? That flicker just then? It was something weird... Now you're nervous; what did you feel?" I stopped mid-step. Oh man this bond thing is going to get me killed. I already hate it.
"Uh, nothing just a..."
"We can't lie to each other." He used my own words against me. Turning my hands to fists, I mumbled a reply. "I'm sorry, what?"
" I said, I thought: and in my defense it was only for a second and I definitely didn't think it on purpose and-" He arched his stupid eyebrows, looking at a particularly nice twig I muttered, "who could be repulsed by that."
" Okay I'll be honest despite my narcissism I am surprised. I'll keep that in mind." He added with an evil smirk. Oh I am so screwed now.
"Well, it's not like I like you or love you or anything! If I did I'd be gone remember?" I quickly retorted.
"That may be true but," He said getting too close to me, " lust... Is still an option."
"But, but I don't think that, I mean it wasn't, We just- I barely know you so so how can that be it?"
"You don't necessarily need to 'know' to lust, Ciarda."
"Okay but what if I don't know if I lust?" I was just spitting words out at this point.
" What ARE you feeling then?" He asked, backing off. He wasn't being dark, more curious and amused. This was new territory for me.
"Well um my heart is beating fast and and I'm really n-"
"That's not what I mean. You don't want feelings right? That can lead to love and powers gone and what not?" I nodded," Well, take the feelings out of love and what's left?"
I thought. It didn't make sense. Wasn't love basically all feelings? No wait, not always... take the feelings out of every bit and lust was left...
" Oh jeez. I don't know." I said leaning back against a convenient tree. "I mean loopholes are great but I don't think I even want that. I mean, back to square one, how do I know?"
" I don't want to be your undoing. Selfishly, if you go I go, bonded, right? The ritual business would've been for nothing. So, to make things fair, a win-win if you will, clear your little mind and think about what you want. Believe me I won't judge."
I needed to admit, he had a point. What could it hurt, really? I'm surely 'old' enough to make decisions. I have no parents. I ran frustrated hands through my dark hair. It doesn't matter, right? I mean literally it doesn't. I cleared my jumbled thoughts and took a breath and looked at Peter, really looked. Annoying attitude aside, he was handsome, in that dark way, which makes sense. I'd seen him shirtless to know he wasn't weak or bony.
As I continued to scan over him I felt a different darkness stir. I needed him. But, not in the kind way like last night; I needed him closer. I felt myself getting nervous but I choked it down. Peter must've sensed a change in me because he stepped closer with a confused look.
"Ciarda? What are you thinking? Something changed."
"That's the thing. I don't think I am thinking." I laughed. He smiled. I looked up to him, "Peter?"
"What?" He whispered.
" Close your eyes for a second, okay?" He agreed.
I stepped closer until I couldn't anymore. I gripped his shirt and pulled it, bringing him with until I was back against the tree.
I kissed him.
AN: um well, so much for friendship and feelings and comfort. That just kinda happened. If you guys hate it we can stop right there and pretend this never happened... Or you can tell me otherwise and ratings may need to be changed if I can muster the ability to go this route that kinda popped up...? PLEASE review!