Thirty stars line the skies
While thirty lies lay in my heart
Staring out the window to the dark sky, the thoughts of every adventure flutter into mind. The scrubs on that day, the Huxley high above the River Thames. Wind gusting around, almost resulting in a crash. The rescue they had received from the Leviathan, the crash in the Alps a month later and meeting that one boy, that one barking lad that could get her to moon for hours upon hours.
The lies bubbled up into her mind. Midshipman Dylan Sharp at your service. The first of the long chain to arise. The second, not telling him she was a girl. From the beginning she had lied, nothing but countless lies. It tore at her day in and day out. It Left her restless.
Thirty times I've tried to say
I love you in the most simple way
Together since he arrived, she has never found the proper time to let it all out. Many, many times they've been disturbed as she tried. Barking spiders, if she'd known it would turn out like this, she would have never left Glasgow; she would have been stuck on the ground. She needed to fly, but now, more than anything, she needed him.
Sodding clanker! Can't you tell when someone loves you? She would have never kissed him that night if she knew the heart break would be like this. Her heart felt shattered in the light of the glowworms. She's never to see him again, not as Dylan; not as Deryn. Heaven forbid that she desires the prince even more than that first sodding moment of weakness in his voice; his actions. Longing takes much effort, but is inevitable; unavoidable.
Thirty minutes to think
Of ways to not sink
She tries to distract herself with the tasks and orders, yet her mind does not focus on them. The touch and the smell surround her; remind her of that boy. The prince, covered in engine grease, stood in front. Green eyes glistening, but cold just the same, making her heart beat a squick too fast. Nothing but glares and sodding heartbreak. No words to be spoken, not actions to be done. Walking right by without contact.
Back into her thoughts, she can't decide; do I stay? Do I leave? What will she become with each passing moment? Will she be accepted back home, by her family? Her community?
Thirty minutes of bliss, thirty lies
Thirty minutes to finally decide
It's now or never, she will have to decide one way or another, will she take him or the air beast. Will he take her in return; will she finally stop lying to him; to herself? Everything will be okay. Building to this moment, one with holes will not last, one with breaks will fall. One without trust will rust and collapse, has she built this for herself?
Tell him. Knocking on the cabin door, squeaks coming through the soft lining. Tell him. Eyes in the darkness peering deep within; heart beating uncontrollably. Dull glow lighting the hair a deep copper, her own a dull gold. TELL HIM. She mutters a hullo, she enters the room. Creature sitting at the end of the bed, reaching up to greet her. Picks it up and it curls around her neck, comfort and warm.
"I need to tell you something"
A pause lasting milliseconds.
"I'm a girl."