Halo 2 Screwed Up Version

Chapter 4: Inskirts...Oh Yes

do i have any halo screwed up fans yet if i do then OMG YOU ARE ALL AWESOME YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY (ahem) i mean thats cool...ok chapter beginning...now

The amber clad whos name was just changed randomly from forward unto the dawn, which is very weird.

It hovers over the city while three pelican dropships launch toward the city of...um...whatever the name was.

Chief finally became calm until cortana spoke.

"The message just repeats: Regret. Regret. Regret." said cortana.

Chief said angerly, "God dammit cortana!? Do you ever shut up!?"

Cortana said happly, "Nnnnnnnnope!"

Chief said to himself, "That's it! I'm going to kill myself."

Keyes said, "Catchy. Any idea what it means?"

Johnson interupted and said, "Dear humanity, we regret these pussy, ass, bitches, we regret coming to earth, and we most definitely regret that my 26 wives were all gay."

Cortana replies angerly, "Dumbass! Regret is a name! He's a religous leader-a prophet. He's on that carrier, and he's calling for help."

Chief interupted, "Yeah. Calling for help to get a steel boot so far up his ass, that he'll be begging me to kill him."

Then randomly a covenant scarab appears.

It's jaws open, and it fires a plasma beam at the appraoching.

The one holding chief falls to the ground.

Cortana said angerly while chief is trying to get up, "Get the fuck up Chief!"

Chief replied angerly, "Bitch, that hurt now shut the fuck up."

Johnson randomly said, "Shake it off marines."

Chief said with an evil grin, "That's what she said."

Chief, cortana, and a few marines walked in the courtyard.

Then randomly hunters appeared.

Johnson said, "Stand back marines. Let the chief show you how it's done."

Chief said relieved, "Fuckin finally!"

Chief killed the two hunters within 15 minutes.

Cortana said upset, "Chief you must be getting old and slow."

Chief said angerly, "I"m about to break your fuckin chip."

Cortana replied, "Just sayin."

1 hour later.

Chief got in the warthog with a marine on the back and drove off to the beach.

Cortana randomly said, "The highest concentration of covenant troops is directly below the carrier. I don't think they want you to get on board. That bridge is the most direct route to the city's center."

Chief was ignoring cortana the whole time.

They drove in a tunnel.

Cortana said...again, "I've been analyzing the covenant tatical chatter. They're surprised...confused. I don't think they expected us to be here. Not you and me. All of us...humanity...on earth. Odd, I know, But it does help explain why they came here with such a small fleet."

Chief finally said, "What did you say? I was to busy listening to my music in my helmet."

Cortana replied angerly, "I hate you so much you big green shit!

Chief ignoring what cortana said, again and said, "Exactly."

They drove out of the tunnel while the marine died for no apparent reason.

this time i made this chaptah moh funneh