"Vincent."

"It's VINCE."

"Stop showing off in front of your friends."

"I'm not! I'm… sorry dad."

"Why can't you be more like your brother?"

"But it's not…"

"Vincent!"

"Sorry dad."

"So Howard."

"Yes, sir."

"You like football, son?"

"Umm, no."

"Rugby?"

"Umm, no sir."

"Oh, so what do you like?"

"Music, specifically jazz. I'm pioneering the jazz funk movement."

"Geek." coughed Gary, earning himself a hard kick in the shin from Vince.

Gary's eyes flared but as soon as Howard looked at the older Noir brother, there was a sudden calm overtaking his face and he smiled sweetly. Vince smirked and shook his head but said nothing.

"The jazz funk movement, you say?" continued Mr Noir, "Well, tell us about that."

"Aww, don't." Vince groaned, "It's so boring Howard. Tell them about our electro-jazz thing, that's much better."

"Oh right, well…"

"No, Howard." Gary smirked "Tell us about your jazz thing. No one wants to hear Vince's electro slant on anything."

"Yes, well…"

"Shut the hell up Gary, you're such a jerk!"

"Vincent!" This was his mother.

"Tell him." moaned Vince, pointing at Gary. "He's being a knob."

"Vincent! Language!"

"What?" Vince asked, with faux-innocence, "I meant a doorknob."

"Vince, stop being cheeky. I don't know what's wrong with you"

"But Muuum, Gary's…"

"Gary hasn't done anything. I'm so sorry about this Howard. I bet it's not like this at your house, is it?"

"Well, no. Actually, I live on my own now."

"You do?"

"Yeah, he does!" shouted Vince, "And I'm moving in with him."

"What?" cried the Noir's in unison.

"What?" hissed Howard in his ear.

"Yeah, that's right. Weren't you just saying, the other day that it would be cool if I could move in?"

"Well, yes b-but…" Howard stammered nervously, caught between Mrs Noir's glare and Vince's bright, hopeful grin.

"Have you been corrupting my son's mind?" Mr Noir cried, "Is it you that's lied to him about talking to animals and shaman's being real. He's always been a fantasist and I wondered where he got it from, I'd never have thought that you, Howard, were the cause behind it."

"You know, sir." Howard growled, getting suddenly to his feet. He'd grown a lot now and all but towered over Mr Noir. "Vince has got a wonderful, vibrant, beautiful imagination. He's got the ability to light up the room for everyone he meets. He's not weird and he's not a freak; he's unique. And, Gary's not the son you think he is, he's been kicking me in the shin for the last half an hour because he thought he was kicking Vince."

Gary's face dropped.

"Come on Vince." Howard said, grabbing the younger boy's wrist, "let's leave." Vince had giggled and flashed the V's as Howard had dragged him from his family.

Ever since then, when anyone asked him about his childhood, Vince launched into a longwinded story about jungles, leopards and Bryan Ferry.

--

A tear dropped sorrowfully off the photo. It was Vince's favourite photo, himself posing, as per usual, two thumbs up outside the zoo keepers hut. Howard stood next to him, arm around his shoulder, adopting a smug, self-important pose. Another salty droplet fell on to the picture and Vince sniffed, brushing his sleeve across his face. He dropped the photo into the shoe box and tucked the box carefully into his suitcase.

He'd been packing for over an hour now but no one had noticed. Bollo and Naboo were off on some shaman business (aka a booze up for some lame reason, like Saboo had bought a new potted plant) and Howard and Gary were playing the honeymoon couple, curled up on the sofa together, with Gary bossing Howard around as though he were the Queen of Sheba. Vince hated him, now more than ever. Gary didn't love Howard, anyone could see that. A blind man could see that, Lester could see that, when he'd popped round after Howard had cancelled a jazz night because Gary had pouted and begged him to.

"What's that old fool doing Vincey?" Lester had asked the fridge.

Vince had answered, despite being the other side of the room.

"He thinks he's in love."

"He ain't in love and that sweet little Québécois Queen isn't going to love him. That's your job Vincey."

"I don't love him." He did though. He always would and that was what had made this so much harder.

"You should tell him your real feelings. Then, hot-diggety, you'd get yourself some jazz loving."

"He's made it clear he's not interested in me." Vince had scowled.

"But have you told him how you feel?"

"Yes, but he wouldn't listen."

"Then tell him again. Make him listen. What does it matter if you're never going to see him again?"

Lester's words had haunted Vince ever since and now that he was all packed and all his meaningless memories were stashed away in a glittery purple suitcase, Vince decided that maybe Lester was right.

He walked into the living room to find Gary reading a magazine and Howard nervously glancing over at him. He'd never seen Howard look so unsure of himself and Howard was in no way a confident man. Vince coughed loudly and as soon as Gary looked up and saw his broken little brother, he was all over Howard like a rash.

"I'm leaving." Vince virtually shouted, so that Howard would hear him over Gary's lip smacking.

"That's nice Vince." Howard gasped, flapping at him with a hand, "If you go past Costcutter pick me up some Oxo flavoured quavers please."

"No, I'm leaving… forever." Vince tried to make it seem dramatic and final and maybe it worked because Howard suddenly took interest, pushing Gary gently away from him.

"What d'you mean?" he asked, carefully eyeing the case.

"I'm going."

"Where?"

"I don't know where."

"Well, then don't be ridiculous, unpack and stay here."

"No."

"Come on, at least until you find yourself somewhere to live."

"Ignore him Howard." Gary groaned, as the older man stood up. "He used to run away all the time as a kid."

Vince nodded, staring at Howard his blue eyes startling. "I always used to come to yours, d'you remember? Then you'd let me hide in your room until I was ready to go home again."

"Of course I remember."

"Remember all the games we used to play?"

"Yeah." Howard smiled fondly.

"And the funny little songs we used to write."

"Yeah."

"And the ponchos in the zoo?"

"Of course, but Vince, why are you talking like this?"

"Monkey hell and meeting Bryan Ferry and that weird green man. And then there's this flat? Remember moving in here… that was a good day. Our escape to Black Lake, stranded on a tropical island, battling the crack fox. Good times."

"Great times. But why are you bringing all this up now?"

"Well, I don't know when I'll see you next."

"Oh for God sake Vince, you'll be back in an hour. Two hours tops." Gary scowled from the sofa.

"Gary, why don't you butt out? Haven't you some other part of my life to be wrecking?"

Then both Noir brothers looked to Howard, waiting for him to side with one of them. For a horrible second, Vince thought the older man was going to side with his brother but instead he said;

"Maybe you could give us a minute Gary."

"Whatever. I'm going out anyway." Gary stood up and flounced off.

And then, they were alone.

"What's all this about Vince?"

Vince blinked, there was almost a hint of anger in his friend's voice as he spoke as though he was sick of being messed around by his friend.

"I can't be around all this anymore." Vince explained.

"All what?"

"You and… him." Vince spat that last word.

"I don't see what's so bad about…"

"Howard shut up." Vince cried. "Please. Listen to me."

Howard frowned but stayed silent, waiting. Vince took a deep breath;

"I love you." he said. "I think I always have, I just didn't realise before… or at least that's what my brain cell tells me. But it makes sense now. I used to get so annoyed when you used to chase Gideon around the zoo. I used let her touch my hair just so she wouldn't notice you."

"What?"

"And I know it was a stupid thing to do but I was desperate."

Howard frowned. "Desperate?"

"Desperate for you to need me… like I need you."

"But wh-"

"And" Vince interrupted, "when you said you loved me in the Tundra, I'm sorry I laughed but I wasn't ready for it and it was like everything I'd ever wanted had come true and I was either going laugh or cry. And when I invented those coconuts girls I only did it to make you jealous but I didn't work you just went and got moved in with that stupid nut."

"Fruit."

"I thought coconuts were nuts."

"I don't think so, fruit or seed I think."

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway. All that matters is that I can't bear to see you with Gary anymore. It just hurts too much but if you're happy with him then… I'm happy for you."

Vince smiled weakly, tears shining in his eyes as he cupped Howard's face, stroking his thumb over Howard's cheek.

Something inside Howard said 'don't touch me' but something bigger screamed 'don't let go'.

"Thank you Howard." the smaller man whispered, choking down the lump in his throat as the end of 'Howard and Vince' rapidly approached.

"For what?" he whispered.

"Just… everything."

Vince dropped his hand and picked up his suitcase, walking determinedly to the stairs. As he stepped down onto the first step, he looked back and said;

"Goodbye Howard."

He started to walk down the stairs. With every step he took, the tears pressed against his eyes with more and more force. He sniffed and swallowed to push them back but they were relentless and one or two began to leak from his tear ducts and stain his cheeks. He'd never thought this day would come. He'd always believed that they'd be together forever. Still throwing Satsuma's around when they were 90, still squabbling over clothes, fashion and music, arguing over whose Zimmer frame is better. He'd imagined all of that and more but he'd never imagined this.

He opened the shop door and the bell sounded his final exit. He sighed and looked around the shop, his vision was completely obscured by tears now but he didn't need to see. He knew what it looked like, empty and hollow. Full of memories, good times and bad but it was over now. The end of an era. He took a deep breath and stood up as straight as he could and made to take the first step of his life when a voice stopped him.