This was randomly created for sherlocklulz community while using the Ask Professor Moriarty eight-ball located here: http: // www. sherlockpeoria. net/Miscellaney/AskProfessorMoriarty. php4 (no spaces). The final line for Moriarty was a glitch in the generator that ended up being a "blank" answer in which I could not pass up on.
An Interview with a Mastermind
Barbossa's Monkey: Thank you for agreeing to this interview, Professor.
Moriarty: Well, well. It seems a pity, but I have done what I could.
Barbossa's Monkey: So, first question. You will die. What do you have to say about that?
Moriarty: All that I have to say has already crossed your mind.
Barbossa's Monkey: Right. Is it true that you have an unhealthy interest in Sherlock Holmes?
Moriarty: It has been an intellectual treat to me to see the way in which you have grappled with this affair, and I say, unaffectedly, that it would be a grief to me to be forced to take any extreme measure.
Barbossa's Monkey: So then you do admit that your interest in Holmes is not purely business between a criminal mastermind and a great detective, but in fact on a more intimate level?
Moriarty: The situation is becoming an impossible one.
Barbossa's Monkey: I think we're agreed then. You're essentially gay.
Moriarty: It is a dangerous habit to finger loaded firearms in the pocket of one's dressing-gown.
Barbossa's Monkey: Mister Holmes! Please! For the sake of our readers, stop playing with whatever is in your pants!
Moriarty: You hope to beat me. I tell you that you will never beat me.
Barbossa's Monkey: I am not really a violent person, sir, but if you and Mister Holmes do not stop with the foreplay, I may be forced to use more extreme measures.
Moriarty: You must drop it. You really must, you know.
Barbossa's Monkey: And if I don't?
Moriarty: You have worked things in such a fashion that we have only one resource left.
Barbossa's Monkey: Erm... and that would be?
Moriarty: Tut, tut! I am quite sure that a person of your intelligence will see that there can be but one outcome to this affair.
Barbossa's Monkey: No, Professor! I will not participate in this... this... despicable act!
Moriarty: ...
Barbossa's Monkey: Oh thank God, Doctor Watson! He is a most horrid, horri....
Watson: It is Doctor John Motherfucking Watson to you, bitch! Holmes! Let's go before that bitch, Moran, puts one between your motherfucking eyes!
And thus concludes my interview with Moriarty. Whew! Thank god for Watson saving the day!