a little life

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'have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
lasso the moon and the stars
and pull that rope tight
it's only half past the point of no return
the tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
the thunder before the lightning
the breath before the phrase
have you ever felt this way?'
-'glitter in the air', pink

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There's nothing but darkness when Bonnie opens her eyes.

She can't see anything. She can't feel anything. There is absolutely nothing around her.

And then - "Where in the living hell are we?"

Oh yeah. Damon.

She'd forgotten about that little thing.

Still in the pitch black, she feels Damon capture her hand and pull her to her feet.

"That is a very good question," Bonnie responds, never letting go of his fingers. His hand, his fingers slipped through hers were her only link to what she used to know. To her old world that she had gotten so used to even though it drove her nuts. He drove her nuts.

But he was here.

"She needs a name."

"Huh?"

"Our kid needs a name."

As Bonnie looks up from her grimoire that she had had her nose in, she sees Damon stalking the length of the room like a caged cat.

In the last weeks since that night, Damon had been showing up at her house unannounced, uninvited like a nosy neighbor that she just couldn't keep out. But then again, she wasn't too perturbed having him there now.

Bonnie is now in her twenty third week of pregnancy. Since that night of Claudette's warning, she had actually cast a protection spell around herself and around the others but she wasn't sure how well it work. Protection spells were normally for humans and she and Matt were the only humans about.

They had a little under three months left. Claudette's warning hadn't ended there - that Sean and the rest of his followers would arrive soon before the baby was due to be born. Claudette had headed for the hills soon after delivering the warning but Bonnie knew that they hadn't seen the last of her.

Coming back to the present, Bonnie considers Damon's words.

"You're right," she says.

"I am?" Damon looks flat out flabbergasted at Bonnie's instant agreement to his suggestion. That hardly ever happens. In fact, it never happens.

Bonnie chuckles softly at the expression on Damon's face. She holds out a hand and he pulls her to her feet. She pads softly to the bookcase across from the couch and leans down, pulling two books out of the shelves, tossing one to Damon to which he catches cleanly in one hand.

"'Old Baby Names'?" Damon says, reading the title. "This makes it sound like you're giving birth to a eighty year old."

Bonnie rolls her eyes, thumbing through her own book, just called 'Baby Names for the New Mommy'.

"This will make it easier," she says. "We can each come up with some nice names and narrow it down."

Damon gazes at her for a brief moment before flopping down on the couch, his boots up on the coffee table. Bonnie stands there, watching him for the tiniest of seconds, suddenly reminded of another night, not too long ago, where this gorgeous and cocky vampire had suddenly taken over her living room and soon her heart.

"Are you going to sit down or stand there like a floor lamp?" Damon says, suddenly realizing that she hasn't relaxed yet.

"Oh! Oh, yeah."

Bonnie waddles over and sits down on the far side of the couch, slowly lifting her sock feet up onto the cushions. Damon relaxes beside her, thumbing through his own book.

"Ew...Beauregard," he mutters after a minute.

"That's not too bad," Bonnie says.

"That's a name for a dog, not our child."

When the words leave his mouth, those two small words - our child - it suddenly make sense to Bonnie.

This is their baby. Their daughter. Their child.

Bonnie cannot help the tiny smile that crosses her lips as she goes back to her book. They toss names back and forth for the next twenty minutes, Damon jotting down ones that weren't so bad on a piece of paper.

And then Bonnie found it.

"Alexandra," she whispers, letting the book fall from her fingers and onto the floor. "That's it."

Damon looks her way, twisting his head thoughtfully in such a way that she was reminded of a golden retriever.

"Alexandra," he repeats. "I like it. Alexandra Salvatore."

"Allie or Alex?" Bonnie says.

"I like Alex."

"But that makes her sound like a boy," Bonnie protests. "Allie is better. Much more feminine."

"I'm sorry, did you say feminine or feline?"

"Oh, shut up."

Damon laughs, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a quarter. "All right, we'll flip for it."

"Are you serious?" Bonnie gapes. "We're going to flip a coin over our daughter's name?"

"Her nickname," Damon says, lowering his voice. "It's not like we are flipping a coin over if we are going to raise her Catholic or Jewish."

"Hey, are we going to raise her Catholic?"

"Bonnie, just call it!"

The quarter goes up and twists in the air.

"Heads."

Damon catches the quarter and lets it flop down on the back of his head. He peeks under his palm.

"Tails."

Bonnie sighs. "Really?"

"No, I lied. It's heads."

Bonnie throws her book at Damon's head.

"Allie. Allie Salvatore. I like it," Caroline says. "What do you think, Stefan?"

The two have arrived at Bonnie's house for that spaghetti dinner that poor Bonnie never got to eat all those weeks ago. Finally over her morning sickness, Bonnie was stuffing her face like a cow and enjoying every minute of it.

Stefan nods, his eyes slightly glazed over. He holds his glass of wine to his lips for a moment before quickly replacing on the countertop.

"Give me a minute," he says before blurring out of the room.

"What's the matter with him?" Damon says, looking up from the large pot of spaghetti sauce he was currently stirring.

Caroline rises to her feet but Bonnie holds up a hand.

"Let me," she says. Caroline nods, glancing sideways at Damon's back before sliding back down to the stool she was perched upon.

Bonnie scoots off the stool, heaving her healthy and large belly along with her. She listens intently for Stefan's movements upstairs.

In the last weeks, things had changed for her. She was aware that vampire blood was now in her veins, helping bring life to her tiny daughter. She wasn't sure what exactly Allie was going to be, whether be some sort of hybrid or a witch with vampire blood in her system. But Bonnie could sense the changes. She could hear better. She could move a little quicker. Little things like that.

Coming up the stairs, Bonnie rounds a corner and runs right into a very broad chest. Of course, her large belly bounces off first and she nearly falls backwards. Stefan's hand snaps out and closes around her wrist, pulling her upright once again.

"You okay?"

Bonnie looks up into a pair of green eyes that are so unlike her own and nearly scoffs.

"I'm fine," she says softly. "I came to ask you that same question. What was with you leaving like that?"

Stefan sighs. "Sorry. I just - I had to get away for a minute. Away from all of that."

"All of what?" Bonnie asks. She can speculate what is about to come out of Stefan's mouth. "Caroline is just happy and excited. I can tell her to tone it down a little bit."

Stefan shifts backwards and ends up sliding down the wall and sitting on the hardwood floor. Bonnie eyes him, remaining standing.

"I'm sorry," Stefan says again. "I'm a little afraid."

"Of Claudette's warning?"

Stefan shakes his head. "Of you."

"Me?"

Stefan nods to her stomach. "Of that tiny creature inside of you. Of what I could end up doing to her if I am not careful."

Bonnie leans to her right so her back is against the wall. She allows her feet to go out from underneath her and she ends up on the floor next to Stefan.

"And what makes you think that you are going to hurt your niece? What happened to the shy guy who showed up at my door right after we found out she was on the way?"

"Bonnie -" Stefan begins slowly. "You never saw me as a Ripper. What I did."

Bonnie shakes her head. "No, I didn't," she says. "But I do know this." With that, she takes his hand in hers. "I know the guy who pulled me out of the tomb, who somehow knew that I was there and came and got me. I know the guy who bent over backwards to protect people that he didn't even know from others and even from himself. I know the guy who walked away from someone he once loved so she could be happy with his brother. And I know the guy that adores that bubbly blonde downstairs."

Stefan turns those large owlish eyes towards her.

"I know the Stefan Salvatore who is my friend. My dear friend."

Gingerly, tentatively, Stefan raises his hand. It hovers and shakes in mid air, moving slowly before coming to rest on her belly.

At the mere whisper of a touch, Allie starts kicking against her uncle's hand. In the past, Bonnie had slowly begun to figure out the sign language that was her daughter's kicks, when she was happy, when she was agitated, and when she was just plain old bored. These steady little thumps were happy and filled with an unknown love already.

Stefan's eyes swivel around to meet hers as he feels the pressure under his palm. A token of a smile creases the corners of his lips upward and he sighs.

"She's real," he murmurs.

"Of course she is. Did you think I made her up?" Bonnie asks, raising an eyebrow.

"No, that's not what I mean," Stefan explains. "I just - I never thought it could really be true, you know? And now -"

"Now that you have felt her, you know," Bonnie finishes.

"Yeah."

"Stefan..." Bonnie begins slowly. "It's okay to let yourself be happy. To move on."

Stefan gives her this look that would have melted the heart of Ebenezer Scrooge and right then, Bonnie finally understands just how young he really is. Yes, he is over a hundred and sixty years old but being turned at the mere age of seventeen, losing whatever life that was had just so suddenly - Bonnie understood that. She was finally starting to get it.

"And," Bonnie adds, leaning close. "I'm pretty sure Caroline wouldn't be too perturbed about adopting a baby later on down the road."

"Oh, shut up."

Their shared laughter is a sweetness that can never be matched.

Life should return to normal for a bit. It was supposed too.

And then something happened. Something that shook Bonnie to the core.

Enzo and Matt hadn't been getting along too well, working together at the Grille. Being the jackass that he is, Enzo compelled the manager for a promotion that Matt was supposed to get and well, to put it plainly, Matt hadn't reacted well.

And it got him killed.

Actually, temporarily killed.

Matt told her later that Enzo's exact words were "You hate vampires so much? You don't like how we get anything we want? How about you, you lonesome human boy, finally get a taste of it?"

And then he shoved blood down Matt's throat and snapped his neck.

Bonnie would remember finding Matt laying face down behind the bar at the Grille, the sound of his already newly beating heart almost pounding away in her ears, forever. She would never be able to get that image of her head.

The first person she called was Caroline and then Damon. Caroline had freaked for a moment but pulled herself together, the phone line clicking dead after a hurried promise to be there quickly. Damon hadn't even bothered to sound surprised, sharing his own promise to be there soon.

And Bonnie hunkered down to wait.

She hurriedly locked all the doors and windows to the Grille, pulling the shades down so no prying human eyes could see inside. She pulled off her jacket and balled it up, placing it underneath Matt's head in an attempt to make his return to un-living a little bit more comfortable. She also worked at cleaning up some of the mess that the obvious struggle between he and Enzo had made.

Bonnie then crawls down to the floor beside Matt's head, stroking his sweaty bangs off of his forehead. Her eyes trace the Gilbert ring on his fourth finger and she sighs.

"I guess we have found the one thing that it can't protect you from," she murmurs softly before taking that hand in hers.

A sudden knock at the door makes her jump slightly.

"Bonnie, it's me."

Caroline.

Bonnie pulls herself to her feet as best she can, waddling across the floor to the door. She peeks around the drawn shade to see Caroline and also Stefan waiting on the stoop. She hadn't so much as bothered to call Stefan after finding Matt, knowing that wherever Caroline was, he wouldn't be too far away.

"Get in," Bonnie whispers once the door is open. She goes to shut it after Caroline and Stefan cross the threshold and nearly rams it into Damon's nose. "Damon!"

Damon holds out his hands, his brows raised. "Hey, you called me."

"Well, a little warning next time before you make your entrance," Bonnie says, shutting the door and relocking it once Damon is inside.

"Where's Boy Wonder?" Damon asks.

Bonnie points wordlessly to the bar. Caroline blurs behind it and lets out a tiny wail.

"Oh, Matt."

"I tried to make him as comfortable as I could so when he wakes up -" Bonnie begins.

Stefan's gentle hand on her shoulder stops her.

"You did just fine, Bonnie."

Bonnie nods, starting a bit when she feels a nudge at her abdomen. Allie can sense the emotions in the air.

A abrupt gasp followed by a round of hacking coughs fills the air and Matt's awake.

"What about the ring?"

Bonnie knew that was going to be Matt's first question.

She holds out her hand for it and Matt gently plops it into her palm.

"The one thing that this little trinket cannot protect you from," she says. "I say, toss the lot."

"Oh, Bonnie."

Matt remembered every little thing about what had happened and more. He could already remember the brief time that Caroline had compelled him way back in the day.

It was happening.

"How come you're so calm about this?" Damon asks Matt. "I was kind of expecting you to scream and wail like a banshee."

"Very funny," Bonnie scolds him but Damon ignores her, still gazing at Matt, waiting for an answer.

"Because -" Matt sighs. "Because maybe I knew this was going to happen eventually. But not this way."

"Oh, I get it," Damon replies cruelly. "You wanted Barbie Klaus to do it."

"Damon, that's enough." That comes from Stefan now.

Damon falls silent.

Caroline shifts down to the floor beside Matt, pressing her bag into his hand.

"It's your decision but you're going to have to make it now," she says.

The painful reminders of her own transformation and Elena's still hung in the air.

Bonnie holds out her hand to Stefan who helps her get up from the floor. She gently touches Caroline's shoulder and she rises too. She turns back to Matt.

"Matt, you - Matt!"

The blood bag is already at Matt's lips.

The other vampires and the young pregnant witch stare. Matt catches the four-way intent look and sighs again.

"I made this decision a long time ago," he explains. "If it ever did happen -"

"You would turn," Caroline finishes. "Oh, Matt."

"Don't look at me like I'm some three legged puppy you found on the street," Matt says. "I've learned a lot. I'll be fine." But there's something else right on the edge of his tongue. Something he needs to say.

Those blue eyes look up at her, at Bonnie and he sighs.

"I just -"

"Just what, Matt?" Bonnie whispers.

"I don't want to die. Permanently, that is."

Because that ring will not bring a person back from transition. And they all know that.

Caroline nods, followed by Bonnie. Almost a consent.

And Matt drinks the blood.

Damon links a hand on Bonnie's shoulder, pulling her back out of the way. Bonnie pushes his hand away but soon gets it when she sees what happens.

Matt lets out a gag, spitting some of the blood out onto his chin and chest. The next sound he makes, the sound of pure agony, as his fangs split through his gums for the first time - oh, god.

He's on all fours, dry heaving. He spits onto the floor, a small growl leaving his lips. Caroline quickly moves behind him, placing a tentative hand on his back.

"Breathe, Matt," she says. "Breathe."

Matt obeys, taking in another choking gasp that makes Bonnie's heart hurt. But something's not right.

Bonnie feels the tiniest of nudges against her stomach and she knows.

Pushing past a protesting Damon, she walks over to Matt and lowers herself down onto her knees beside him. Matt holds up a hand, trying to push her away but she takes that hand.

"This shouldn't be like this," Bonnie says, taking that hand in hers. She twines their fingers together and closes her eyes.

Golden light begins to spread from her fingers and into Matt's hand. It shines bright, casting through his veins and up into his chest.

A breath slips from his lips, one even and solid. Followed by another.

The veins that had been protruding underneath his eyes recede and his eyes fade back to their beautiful baby blue. His fangs retract painlessly.

"Bonnie ..." Caroline breathes from above the two of them. "How did you do that?"

Bonnie loosens her grip on Matt's hand, leaning back on her heels. "It wasn't me," she says, her eyes finding Damon's in the dimly lit room.

Damon's eyes widen just a bit in understanding. He holds out his hand and Bonnie takes it, allowing him to pull her to her feet once again.

It makes sense now. All of this makes sense.

Claudette's vision rang true about Allie. Even still in the womb, she was already so powerful, so strong. Her magic was pure and White. And if the Gollum coven laid a finger on her - that magic would change.

Bonnie could see it already, she could see what would happen if the Black coven managed to take Allie. Someday in the future, she would be standing on the opposite side of a field against her own daughter, against her own flesh and blood.

That wasn't going to happen. She was not going to let that happen.

SLAM!

Enzo finds his glass flying out of his hand and his face making a very painful contact with the bar.

An invisible hand pulls him up by the back of the neck and he's moving through the air so damn quickly that he doesn't have time to scream as he goes headfirst into the opposing wall. His nose cracks and begins to bleed.

"Ah, so you are here for your little non-human friend Matt," Enzo chuckles through the blood in his mouth.

No answer.

"Bonnie lass, could you at least turn me around so I can see your glow?"

BAM.

His nose smashes against the wall again, breaking right up to the hilt. Enzo moans out in pain and spats a mouthful of blood out onto the floor. And then, like invisible strings were controlling him like a marionette puppet, his whole body twists in mid air and he's hovering with his feet several inches off the ground.

Bonnie moves into his line of sight, her green eyes burning in her skull.

"My, my, my, you are angry," Enzo chuckles around the mess on his face.

Bonnie doesn't say a word, her arms crossed in front of her belly.

"I can feel the power that is your child," Enzo says. "And the power that is you. Sometimes, I wonder why I even looked Blondie's way when you were around."

"Flattery will not get you anywhere with me, Lorenzo," Bonnie finally says. "What you did - "

"What I did was save a little time. The boy had it coming," Enzo groans, rolling his eyes.

"Had it coming?!" Bonnie growls. "He's done nothing to you except be polite and courteous! You cheated him out of a promotion, of course he would be angry!"

"Angry," Enzo scoffs. "Try being locked in a cage like an animal and being used in one horrific science experiment after another. Then he'll be angry."

"Oh, boo-hoo," Bonnie snaps. "I'm done listening to that sob story. Yes, what the Augustines did was wrong and sick and disgusting. I get that. But you think that you can use that to get into my good graces? Into Caroline's? Then you are out of your mind!"

With that, the magic link breaks and Enzo goes crashing to the floor in a very less than dignified heap right at Bonnie's feet. Those booted feet turn on their heels and stomp away.

Enzo yanks himself up, wiping the blood off of his face as he moves. "Bonnie! Hey, Bonnie!" Using his full speed, he beats her to the door of the Grille. "Listen to me, lass -"

Bonnie lays a useless punch into his shoulder. "No! No, I am not going to listen to any excuses, Enzo."

"Why should you care, lass?" Enzo says. "Why should you really give a damn?"

"Because I was starting to trust you and consider you a friend, you ass," Bonnie snaps.

At those words, something breaks behind Enzo's normally cold black eyes. A little bit of warmth and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of humanity.

"But now you've blown it."

She burns the hand that is holding onto her shoulder and pushes him out of the way, sliding through the door and slamming it behind her.

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Uh-oh. Enzo has really blown it big time. I had always planned on Matt becoming a vampire in this story and I know it happened kind of early but that's the point. He needs to be a vampire so he can help protect Allie. And with Matt being so accepting of becoming one of the un-dead, I kind of pictured that after being around vampires so long, he just knew that it was only a matter of time before someone nailed him. And he's only 20 years old. He doesn't want to die.

Just a heads up, baby Allie is going to be born quite soon.

PS. Playlist for this fic is up on my tumblr : lydiawillsavestiles