Chapter 4: Too Much
"Ruka-kun, I brought you lunch," Kakashi stepped into the classroom through the window.
Iruka sighed setting down the piece of chalk. "Maybe no nicknames in public," he walked towards the desk where Kakashi had set the boxed lunch.
Kakashi looked around the empty classroom. "No one's here."
"Right now," Iruka corrected. "What if I had a student I was punishing by not letting out for lunch here?"
Kakashi's single eye closed, "ma, you're too worried, Ruka-kun."
Iruka sighed visibly getting irritated.
"Fine, no more nicknames in public," Kakashi agreed, albeit sadly.
"Thank you." Iruka opened the lunch the other man had brought him. "Oh, I thought there'd be enough for two."
"Maybe some other time," Kakashi walked around the desk. "I'm going to go visit Naruto in the hospital."
"Will you tell him I'll be by later?" Iruka asked.
"And how would you like me to tell him I ran into you, sensei?" Kakashi asked back.
"Oh," Iruka didn't know how to answer. Being selectively secret was harder than either extreme. "Well, I'll stop by after class, you don't have to tell him."
They both looked at the open door at the sound of small feet trampling in the hall.
"I'll see you later then," Kakashi said before vanishing a second before children spilled into the classroom, complaining about another student bullying them.
Iruka offered to let them eat their lunches in the classroom with him and he would deal with the problem later.
After his last student had left he stopped by the grocery store on the way to the hospital.
He was slightly surprised to see so many people in Naruto's room. They all stopped and looked up at him as he walked in. "Hi, Naruto." He walked past Kakashi, sitting in a chair near the foot of the hospital bed.
Yamato stepped back for him.
Sakura and Sai had apparently been bickering. Iruka felt like somewhat of an outcast among them.
"I brought you some instant ramen," Iruka passed Naruto the cup. "I know it's not as good but once your arm is better I'll treat you to the real thing."
"Thanks, Iruka-sensei! All they've brought me is stupid fruit," Naruto dropped his voice leaning away from Sakura.
"You, idiot, fruit is healthy for you!" Sakura was clearly insulted, "I'm never doing anything nice for you again."
Iruka smiled as Naruto started begging for forgiveness. His eyes drifted to Kakashi, surprised to see him without his latest book, or at least a book that looked like it. He would swap out the desk jackets so he could read different things and people wouldn't bother him.
His single grey eye moved to Iruka's, catching him. Iruka quickly looked back at Naruto desperately hoping not to be blushing.
"Sai, Sakura, how about dinner, I'll treat," Yamato offered suddenly.
Sakura and Sai looked at him curiously a second before agreeing and following him out of the room chatting about where they wanted to go and Yamato protesting on how much he could afford.
Kakashi moved out of his chair to in favor of leaning besides the window next to Naruto's bed.
"How bad is it?" Iruka asked, looking at Naruto's arm.
"It's broken," Naruto answered, "but you know me, sensei, I heal real fast. I'll be fine." He smiled wide to show just how fine he felt.
Iruka smiled back for a minute but his eyes drifted back to the cast. "I worry about you, Naruto," he shared honestly.
The blond stopped smiling. Kakashi dropped his chin and closed his eye to remain passive to the conversation.
Naruto looked at his former teacher blankly, registering the words.
"You're so strong, Naruto," Iruka went on, "you're facing opponents I could never have a chance against, you've grown so much."
Naruto laughed nervously, a stranger to receiving praise. "You think so, sensei!"
"Don't let it go to your head," Iruka's tone was sad suddenly, "don't get arrogant. The stronger you get the stronger your opponents will get, do you understand, Naruto?"
The teen was quiet. He looked at his arms in front of him, one in a cast.
"I worry about you," Iruka repeated.
While Naruto was still contemplating everything that was said a medical ninja came into the room. "Anything I can get for you?"
Kakashi handed her the instant ramen cup. "Could you make this for him?"
"Oh, um, sure," she smiled kindly and walked out of the room.
Kakashi returned to the space between the bed and the wall. This time standing closer to the teen. "Naruto," the blond looked up at him. "Do you understand what Iruka-sensei was saying?"
Iruka looked at the jonin. He had worked so hard to compartmentalize their relationship. There was public and there was private, but the line was starting to blur. How was he supposed to look at him now? How was he supposed to see him?
"I think so," Naruto said. He turned to the tan man standing beside his bed. "I'm not as big an idiot as you all think I am," he scolded.
Iruka was taken aback.
"I know I'm not as strong as Pervy Sage or anyone like that," Naruto's smile was back. "But I'm going to become Hokage someday and become the strongest ninja in the village!"
Iruka smiled. "I don't doubt you, Naruto."
When the medical ninja came back Kakashi left and Iruka was happy to help Naruto eat his dinner.
It was late by the time he left Naruto's room. The blond had drifted off to sleep a few minutes before he left his chair to walk to the door.
He didn't want to leave, not truly. He remembered how parents doted on him when he was sick. How his mother never left his bedside. He knew that feeling, he sometimes missed it, and he wondered if Naruto missed it even more for never knowing it.
He was surprised to see the silver-haired jonin leaning against the wall outside the door. "Had he been there the whole time?" Iruka thought.
Kakashi stood straight. "When was the last time you ate, sensei?"
Iruka smiled nervously. They both knew the answer to that.
"Dinner then?" Kakashi started walking down the hall.
Iruka fell into step beside him, "I could eat."
"Good."
The streets were nearly dark but lively. Food venders were busy and the happy voices of their patrons carried, as well as their lights.
Iruka was happy to follow Kakashi, not knowing where he was leading, but trusting that at the end of their journey there was warm food and perhaps a place to be alone.
He liked being alone with Kakashi, now that there was more to their privacy than stages of undress and singular goals.
He was looking up at the sky, watching the first star that came into view, trying to remember which star it was. He could remember his academy instructor's lecture on the importance of navigating at night by stars and using the position of the sun and moon to tell time.
A gloved hand brushed his.
Iruka nearly jumped. He looked straight ahead, no longer wondering about the stars. There was a nervous knot in his stomach as he scanned the street.
Did he want to hold Kakashi's hand? That was a very public, very definite deceleration of their secret relationship. Did Kakashi want to hold his hand? Was he asking permission? Would the famous Sharingan Kakashi ever ask permission for anything?
He kept his hand loose at his side. He didn't want to deny him, if it had been intentional, but he wasn't about to approve either.
Kakashi's feet suddenly stopped. "Iruka." Fingers curled around his, a gloved palm against his own.
Iruka was caught mid-step, suddenly tethered to an unmoving body. He knew he was blushing as he spun, a mixture of embarrassment and shock.
Whatever Kakashi was about to say died on his tongue. His hand dropped Iruka's before the academy teacher could blink, and a body was beside him like a flash of green.
"Kakashi my eternal rival!" Gai shouted excitably. "You have bested me in every challenge but today will be the day that I claim victory! Will you accept this new challenge?"
Iruka felt like the color had gone from his face. He was mortified that Gai had seen them holding hands.
Kakashi held out his hand boredly, "Rock, paper, scissors?"
"No! This time your sharingan will be of no use! It will be a challenge of physical strength and youthful spirit!"
"Well, I actually have plans," Kakashi slid his hand back into his pocket. He turned his head to Iruka, "I was going to make Iruka-kun dinner."
Iruka would have fallen over if he were a lesser ninja. Kakashi was walking them to his apartment? To make him dinner? He called him Iruka-kun! In front of Gai!
Gai looked over as if noticing Iruka for the first time. "Oh, Iruka-sensei!" He took a step back to give the man back his personal space. "I did not see you!" he apologized.
Iruka laughed nervously, knowing Gai wasn't as dense as Naruto, and only slightly more socially aware. "That's quite alright, Gai-sensei."
Gai faced Kakashi again, pointing a finger prepared to issue his newest challenge when suddenly he seemed to deflate, looking between them.
They both looked expectant, waiting for him to say something.
He stood back on his heels calmly. "Oh." There was a pause. He apparently was still thinking, trying to find words. Finally he looked at Kakashi, taking back his inflated stance, "next time, my eternal rival, I will come up with a challenge I will surely defeat you at!"
Iruka started walking before Gai had left. He wanted to go home. He wanted to collapse into a puddle of fear, embarrassment, and anxiety and stop trying so hard to keep his face straight. He wanted to yell and scream and pull his hair out. How could Kakashi set him up like that?
He was aware the man was following him. He could sense his chakra just a few steps behind him. It wasn't that he was walking fast. He just knew Kakashi was giving him space because he knew he was mad at him. Just making Iruka madder, how could he be such a sensitive and thoughtful jerk!
When Iruka walked through his door he kicked off his sandals with purpose and stormed into his kitchen, turning on the light and throwing open the fridge, vaguely aware that he had been hungry once.
He heard the click of the door and lock and knew Kakashi was around the corner.
The fridge door shut with a loud clang. "Why did you do that?!" he demanded.
Kakashi's face was blank, his annoying grabby hands in his pockets. "Gai is harmless," Kakashi stepped towards him, "and I couldn't think of another reason he'd leave me alone."
Iruka crossed his arms. He didn't like Kakashi's reasons, he wasn't done being angry.
"I wanted to spend the evening with you," Kakashi said. He was a few steps away from Iruka. His voice took on a certain tone, "and I thought we weren't caring about who knew."
"I was wrong," Iruka confessed, frustration in his own voice. "I can't do it. Can we just go back?"
He regretted looking up. Kakashi's face seemed hurt, if only for a second, before he was expressionless again. "If that's what you want."
Iruka let out a breath, feeling calm reclaim him at the thought of it. "Yes."
"Okay," Kakashi agreed. He took a step back. "I should go then, it's late," he said before turning to leave.
Iruka looked at his feet. It was better this way.