Chapter Four

Hermione stood under the steaming water of the shower head for far longer than she usually would. Her showers were usually quick, efficient events where not a single moment was wasted. She allowed herself to indulge in the luxury of simply standing under a waterfall of delightfully hot water. Every muscle in her body was beginning to relax. The simple knowledge that she was no longer completely by herself was enough to loosen up some of the tension she had been experiencing for months. Someone was better than no one, even if that person was Lucius Malfoy.

The entire luxurious bathroom was full of steam when Hermione turned the taps off and stepped onto the lush bath rug covering the warm, tiled stone floors. She wrapped a plush towel around her entire body before stepping back into the bedroom to find something to wear. Her beaded bag with the undetectable extension charm was still lying on the bed with the dirty clothing she removed before her shower. Lying next to the bag was a pair of dark blue cotton pajamas she had not seen before. Knowing Lucius must have come in her room while she was showering, she could not stop a fleeting thought about what he said about watching her through the keyhole. She did not really believe he would be something quite as crass as that.

There really was nothing suitable to wear so she pulled on the apparent men's pajamas. One pull of the drawstring in the pants tightened them enough on her bony frame to not have to fear them falling off. The buttoned shirt was far too large for her but she felt warm and comfortable enough to not care. She climbed on top of the immense bed and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep only moments after snuggling under the covers.

The sun was long gone when Hermione finally opened her eyes again. She couldn't be sure how many hours she had been sleeping, but she was absolutely rested. More so than she had been in months. Sleep wasn't exactly hard to come by when she was in hiding. Some days there was very little else to do but sleep. It was never completely restful however. With no one to keep watch over her while she slept, she would wake up frequently, startled by any noise outside the tent.

Hermione reluctantly rose from the warm, comfortable bed. A fire had been lit in her fireplace. She wasn't sure if the fires lit themselves or if Lucius had come in while she was sleeping to light it. Either way she was grateful for the warmth radiating from the grate and the light it shone over the unfamiliar space. Remembering her promise to review the dossier he provided for her new identity, Hermione took the files from the desk on her journey to the chaise lounge in front of the fire. A delicate, but toasty, looking pair of slippers sat in front of the fireplace absorbing the fire's warmth. Her question about who lit the fire was answered. Lucius' thoughtfulness was surprising. Maybe years of being a high society host taught him how to adequately anticipate the needs of his houseguest.

With her feet warm and a throw blanket wrapped around her shoulders, Hermione lowered herself onto the exquisite chaise. She didn't even want to imagine how much a fine piece of antique furniture like it cost. The Malfoys certainly did enjoy their luxury. Best enjoy it and take advantage of it while she could.

Hermione was to be disguised as Isla Black-Fawley, one of the dozens of Black cousins and coincidentally, Lucius' own goddaughter. Isla was twenty-five and moved out of the country when she was still a child after her widowed mother remarried an American wizard of questionable origins. At least she wouldn't have to worry about someone recognizing Isla from Hogwarts. She read through all of the documents and reviewed all of the photographs multiple times. After almost an hour of studying, she found she could no longer ignore the insistent growling of her stomach.

She wasn't sure how late it was. The sun never stayed out long on winter days. She didn't think she'd slept for more than twelve hours, but she couldn't be positive. She pulled a bathrobe that had been hanging in her bathroom over her pajamas and headed out the door. The manor was eerily silent. Empty buildings usually were at night. She remembered Kingsley's promise that her stay here wouldn't be permanent and she took a bit of comfort from that thought. She did not see Lucius as she made her way down the second floor corridor and then down the staircase. Hoping he was either asleep or tucked up in his study, she received an unpleasant surprise when she opened the door to the kitchen.

"Good evening, Miss Granger. I trust you slept well."

He was standing over the stove stirring a pot. Every few seconds he would wave his wand and more freshly chopped vegetables would fly across the room to land in his soup. The smell was intoxicating. Hermione was certain she could eat anything he had to offer at this point. Her stomach released a loud growl that unfortunately did not go unnoticed. Lucius smirked.

"Take a seat and I will bring you a bowl," he offered.

She did not need to be told twice. Moments later she was seated at the plank table and ready to eat. Lucius banished a loaf of hot, fresh bread to land on the table in front her. Hermione's mouth was watering.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" she asked. Her mother had ingrained a spirit of helpfulness in her when she was young. She'd been programmed to ask that question since she was five.

"No, thank you, Miss Granger," he replied, levitating two bowls in front of him to land on the table. "I believe I have it all under control."

"You don't have to keep calling me Miss Granger, you know. If we are to be struck here alone there's no reason to not call me by my first name."

Lucius nodded. He placed the bowl of steaming vegetable soup in front of Hermione. Despite the growling that had increased tenfold since she smelled the food, she waited until he was seated across from her before tucking in.

"All right, Hermione."

"Thank you."

"It is rather fortunate that we are being so informal now seeing as how we no longer dress for dinner at the Manor."

Hermione immediately felt embarrassed by her attire. She was hoping he wouldn't say anything, but with a quick glance in his direction she saw the smile on his face. He was teasing her.

"I'm sorry," she replied. "I didn't know what time it was and was just planning on coming down here for a snack. I didn't expect you to be in here."

"There is nothing to apologize for, Miss… Hermione. Indeed, I have never seen my pajamas look quite so fetching on anyone before and I have seen myself wear them."

Her cheeks blushed crimson. Why was he so skilled at making her embarrassed?

"Thank you for them," she answered, making a split second decision to not let him get to her again. She lifted her head boldly to look him in the eye. "They are very comfortable and warm."

"Perhaps too big, but they were the best I could find. Draco's would have fit you a little bit better, but he took all of his clothes when he left."

It was the first time he had mentioned his son. She still had no idea where Draco was following the war ending. Realizing he perhaps said more than he meant to, Lucius began slicing the bread to direct his attention elsewhere. He handed Hermione a slice still warm from the oven.

"Narcissa's clothes are all in storage now," he continued quietly, not meeting her eyes. "I was limited in my options with the short timeframe."

"They are great," she assured him. "I really appreciate them."

An awkward silence fell between them. Hermione shoveled delectable soup into her mouth to not have to say anything. She was impressed with his culinary skills and once again stopped herself from asking why he no longer had servants.

"I am sure I could find something in Bellatrix's old room," Lucius announced with a smirk. He at least seemed determined to banish the discomfort that plagued them. "She left all of her clothing and personal effects in her guest suite in the west wing."

"I would rather go starkers than wear something that belonged to that woman!"

Lucius raised a single eyebrow.

"That would be a most diverting dinner indeed."

Hermione felt her cheeks flush again. She hadn't meant to say what she was thinking out loud.

"I know. I know," Lucius said. "I am disgusting."

Lucius smirked at her over his bowl. She was shocked for just a moment before she burst out laughing. The tension between them seemed to break. They returned to their meals with a much more comfortable silence. Hermione was enjoying the fresh vegetable soup. It didn't take much before her stomach started to feel full again. She wondered how long it would take before she was able to enjoy a complete meal again without feeling sick to her stomach.

"This is delicious," she announced after several minutes of neither of them speaking.

"Thank you."

"I must admit that I'm surprised to find you know your way around the kitchen."

He took another bite of bread. Hermione couldn't help but feel she had said too much once again that evening. Lucius swallowed and sighed.

"If I did not learn how to feed myself, I would have starved."

"I just assumed you would have at least a house elf." Why couldn't she stop talking?

"Yes, well, as part of the Dark Lord's retribution for my family's traitorous acts during the war, we were relieved of all of our household staff."

He did not provide any more details and Hermione didn't ask. Kingsley said that Lucius had a story to tell, but she was not going to press him for any details. It wasn't her business what had happened to the man. They all had suffered. All because of the damned Dark Lord. Hermione pushed her bowl from her and stood. Lucius reached across the table placing his hand on top of hers to stop her from leaving.

"I'm sorry, Lucius. Living alone in a tent for almost nine months has somewhat dulled my social graces. I may have to relearn how to interact with others."

He didn't respond. Simply squeezed her hand for a couple of moments before releasing. He rose from his chair in one swift motion.

"I have a bottle of red I have been wanting to open, but did not want to drink it all myself," he announced, banishing the dirty dishes to the sink. "Would you care to join me in my study?"

Hermione wasn't ready to go to bed just yet. Part of her was enjoying simply spending time with another human being. She wasn't ready to hide back up in her room alone again. Lucius was staring at her, waiting for her to answer. He seemed more vulnerable in that moment than she had ever seen him before. Almost as if she had the power to crush him simply by telling him no. Obviously she wasn't the only one who was lonely.

"That sounds lovely, Lucius. Thank you."

Another genuine smile crossed across his features again. She followed him out of the cozy kitchen into the darkened hallway. Unlike when he was taking her to her room earlier in the day, he didn't walk quickly ahead of her. He stayed only a few inches in front of her, frequently turning back around to make sure she was following. Was he afraid that she would change her mind?

The study was located just off the entrance hall in the front of the manor. Lucius approached a pair of large, elaborately carved doors. He reached for the door knob and stopped to turn to look at Hermione. She felt nervous.

"I forgot to mention that I have dogs," he said. "I got in the habit when we had guests in the manor of keeping them in the study. No one else ever went in there. They seem to enjoy sleeping all day in front of the fireplace."

"I like dogs."

Lucius smiled and turned the doorknob. He pushed open the door to the room, gesturing for her to enter first. Hermione wasn't sure what to expect from Lucius's study, but she was astounded by the warmth and seeming comfort to the room. If she could design a room to spend most of her time in, this would be it. Hundreds, maybe even thousands, of books of all sizes and subjects lined each of the walls. She felt certain she could read all day every day and it would still take years to read everything he had. A large fireplace dominated the room. Two of the largest canines Hermione had ever seen were blissfully asleep in front of the roaring fire. She could understand the appeal of spending all day in this room. There was a large leather sofa in front of the fireplace she could see herself laying down on with a good book.

"What a wonderful room," she said, hoping to find something to fill the silence with. Lucius was still an intimidating man even if she was wearing his pajamas. "You have quite a collection."

"You may read any you like," he offered.

"Thank you."

Hermione crossed the room to the sofa. The dogs started to stir as she came closer. After settling herself down on the end of the sofa, one of them raised its head to stare at her. They were both massive, but didn't seem threatened by her presence. A moment of staring at her and the dog laid its head back down to return to its somnolent state. Lucius handed her a glass of fragrant red wine over the back of the sofa. He stopped to scratch both of the dogs behind their ears before sitting down on the sofa with his own glass in his hands.

"They are enormous," Hermione said with a laugh. "What are they?"

"Scottish deerhounds. The one on the left is Cassius and the other one is Sophie. They are actually quite friendly despite their size. I let them outside to run and explore in the mornings, but then they are content to sleep the rest of the day and night in front of the fire."

"There are worst ways to spend your life." Hermione took a sip of the wine. She wasn't used to the fine quality of the wine, but could appreciate a good vintage. "The wine is delicious."

"Thank you. I do not like drinking a bottle by myself. I can do it, but I do not enjoy it."

There were no sounds for a few minutes other than the fire crackling and the dogs snoring softly. Hermione sipped the wine enjoying the warmth it radiated through her limbs. She wasn't used to drinking wine and Lucius poured her a very liberal first glass. When it was empty, he summoned the bottle to refill both of their glasses.

"You still do not trust me," he stated after they were both about two glasses in. It wasn't a question but a statement of fact.

"There's a history between us," she replied, taking a large swallow of the wine.

"Everyone has a past. I am not proud of mine. All I can do is attempt to redeem myself in the present to make way for a better future."

"Why are you helping me?"

Hermione was surprised at her audacity in asking the question she had been wondering all day. She had planned on easing into this discussion. Not blurting it out in a moment when wine loosened her lips. She was embarrassed for only a second before she came to her senses. She had a right to know what had happened to make Lucius Malfoy an ally. Her eyes rose up and met his cool grey eyes. He didn't seem stunned by her question however. Must have been expecting it from the beginning.

"A lot has changed in my life, Hermione," he answered unashamedly. "These past few years have been difficult. I can understand and respect that you may have questions. In the spirit of honesty I will be glad to provide you with any answers that I can."

"Why are you in this big, empty house all by yourself?"

The question came off her lips before she even thought it through. She hadn't planned on starting right off with asking where his family was, but the wine was going straight to her head. She felt uninhibited for the first time since she arrived.

"As I told you earlier, my servants were appropriated by the Dark Lord," he answered in a cool tone. "My wife is dead and my son has been ordered to complete an apprenticeship with Horace Slughorn at Hogwarts under the sharp eye of the Dark Lord. He has set himself up the castle in order to oversee the education of the British wizarding children."

"I'm very sorry to hear about your wife."

"She died at the Battle of Hogwarts or as they are referring to it now, "The Great and Victorious Battle"."

"We both lost loved ones that day."

He refilled their glasses again, emptying the bottle.

"Nothing "Great" or "Victorious" about it for us then, right?" he asked.

"Nothing at all."

"When I was young I thought I had all of the answers," Lucius continued, sipping his wine while he spoke. "Everything is black and white when you are young. You are idealistic and think you have all of the answers. When I left Hogwarts I was introduced to a powerful wizard who seemed to espouse all of the ideals that I had been raised to believe were correct.

"The time that has come to be known as the "First Wizarding War" was exciting and I firmly believed in what I was doing. When the Potters were killed and the Dark Lord was destroyed, at least that is what we all believed, I was able to get out of trouble by lying that I did not know what I was doing at the time. Claimed I was under the Imperius Curse and the Ministry actually believed me. They believed what I wanted them to believe because of my money.

"When he came back everything was different. I had the benefit of years of experience and the knowledge that comes with being older to understand that what I had so vehemently defended and believed in my youth was not worth the safety and security of my family. I went along with the mission at the Department of Mysteries, not because I wanted to, but because I had no choice."

Lucius summoned a second bottle of wine from his desk. With another wave of his wand the cork flew out of the bottle and landed near the dogs, startling them from their slumber. He filled his glass and then filled Hermione's without her asking. They both continued to sip their glasses for a few minutes without another word. Hermione could feel the wine coursing through her body up to her head. Between her inexperience with strong wine and her inability to fill her stomach with solid food, she knew she was well on her way to being very drunk.

"The thing about Azkaban is it gives you ample time to think through all of the mistakes you have made and all of the atrocities you have committed. Azkaban was worse than what I even imagined in my worst nightmares. By the time I was broken out I was not the same man I was when I went in. That is part of the design of the place I assume.

"My family was in disgrace by then due to my failures in the Ministry. The Dark Lord even gave my only son an impossible task that would likely end in his death to punish me. When the Dark Lord set up his headquarters in my home I hoped we would be able to earn his respect back."

"So you stood by and allowed your sister in law to torture me."

His eyes snapped to Hermione's. She could see pain in his grey eyes that hadn't been there earlier in the evening. Was it remorse? She couldn't be certain.

"Yes, I stood by and watched as Bellatrix tortured you and offered you to Greyback as a snack. I am not proud of my actions."

"You also allowed the imprisonments of Luna Lovegood and Mr. Ollivander in your cellar. You would've given Harry over to You-Know-Who to be murdered."

"Like I said, I am not proud of my actions!"

"Why should I trust you now?" Hermione raised her voice to match his level. "Why should I believe that allowing me into your home is not just another opportunity for you to make good with You-Know-Who? That by handing me over to him you aren't trying to get back into his good graces?"

Lucius reached across the sofa and grabbed her arm. It wasn't painful, but he was insistent. She met his eyes without flinching.

"Because the Dark Lord made my son and me torture and murder my own wife!"

Whatever she was expecting him to say, that was not it. She could feel tears building up in her eyes and tried to use all of her self-control to prevent them from rolling down her cheeks. This was not the time to break down.

"What do you mean? What happened?" Her voice was hardly louder than a whisper, but he heard her nonetheless.

"She lied to the Dark Lord about Potter being dead when we were in the Forbidden Forest before the battle started up again." His voice dropped down to as quiet as hers. "We were both desperate for information about Draco. We did not know where he was or whether he was dead or alive. Cissa checked Potter for a pulse and when she found one, asked him if Draco was still in the castle.

"If she had not lied to him we may not have been able to get to the castle in time to find our son. When the battle started up again, neither of us cared what was happening around us. We did not join the ranks to duel those fighting against the Dark Lord. Thankfully we found Draco before any of us was injured.

"When Harry fell, she knew that her life was forfeit. She knew that it was only a matter of time before she was punished for lying. She made Draco and me promise that no matter what happened we would do what was necessary to survive."

Lucius continued to fill his glass. Hermione lost count the number of glasses they had both consumed, but he emptied two full bottles. He started to summon a third. Hermione placed her hand on his wand arm to stop him. Lucius stared at her hand on his arm as if he had never seen anything like it before. After a few moments he took her hand in his free hand. She didn't pull it from him. She knew he needed the human touch at that point.

"We assumed foolishly that it would be a quick death. Assumed that he would employ the killing curse as he had for countless others before her. She met her death with a bravery I have never seen before. Walked right up to the Dark Lord in the Great Hall and looked him right in the eyes. I have never been prouder of her than I was at that moment. She was remarkable.

"The dust settled in the castle. Those who were going to flee had already fled. Captives were being taken all over the castle and its grounds. The Dark Lord murdered Molly Weasley in front of everyone. She was an extraordinary witch. I always thought that she settled for Arthur and that he did not deserve her.

"He called for our family when Molly's body was being taken away. He announced to everyone assembled what she was guilty of and pronounced sentence. She was to die, of course, but not before she was tortured. He wanted to break her first. Wanted her to lose her mind."

Hermione quietly gasped. She placed her empty wine glass on a table next to the sofa and took Lucius' free hand. He stopped for a few minutes, steeling himself for the continuation of his tale. His eyes were on their hands; he couldn't bear to look Hermione in the eyes as he spoke of his late wife's fate. It was too hard to imagine.

"First, he made me apply the Cruciatus Curse on her. I will not lie to you. I have performed this curse on numerous individuals. Some at his insistence and some for my own personal amusement. She was strong… like you were."

Their eyes met again, and Hermione couldn't keep the tears from falling. Lucius removed his right hand from hers and gently brushed away her tears. After a second or two, he dropped his hand and his eyes.

"Then he made Draco torture his own mother. Made him apply the curse until she could not be strong for us anymore. She finally screamed and Draco hesitated. The Dark Lord turned to me and told me to show my son what he was doing incorrectly. I crucioed Draco."

Hermione closed her eyes and willed herself to stop crying. She didn't want to be this emotional with this man. Normally she was good at keeping her emotions private. Something about the broken man in front of her made her lose the control she worked so hard to maintain.

"He stopped me after a minute or so, but it was still an eternity. I never once raised my hand in anger to my son and there I was using an illegal torture curse on him. If there was ever a moment when I questioned my loyalties and what I had spent the majority of my life fighting for, this was that moment. He made me return my attentions to my wife.

"I loved Narcissa. Loved her very much. Our marriage was not perfect. I will not pretend that it was. We argued and we gradually fell into a companionable relationship that lacked the passion that we started with. Maybe that is what marriage is for everyone else. I do not know. As I held my wand and watched her writhe under the intense torture, I could not help but admire her. She showed a strength that I never had. I cannot say that I would have lied to the Dark Lord like she did.

"He wanted her broken before we killed her. Wanted her to be insane before we finally put her out of her misery. Do you know how long it takes for the Cruciatus curse to drive a person insane?"

Hermione shook her head. She had no idea.

"The stronger a person's mind is, the longer it takes to break it. Cissa had a very resilient mind. Draco and I took turns for literally hours before she finally was a shell of the woman I fell in love with when we were teenagers. Draco and I were exhausted, physically and emotionally. It takes a great deal of energy to torture someone. When the Dark Lord was satisfied that Draco and I had proven our loyalty to him and that my wife was shattered, he made my son murder his mother. Made my son cast the killing curse on his own mother."

Lucius released both of Hermione's hands. He revolved his body around the face the fireplace. One of the dogs rose from their spot on the floor and laid their head in his lap. He absentmindedly scratched their head, his mind was obviously elsewhere.

"Draco was forced to take an apprenticeship hundreds of miles away from here and my remaining house elves were 'reassigned' to work in the Hogwarts kitchens," Lucius continued after a tense, awkward few minutes. "I was left to ramble this house alone. None of my former 'friends' want anything to do with me. It does not really matter. I do not want anything from them anymore either."

Lucius stopped scratching his dog to unbutton his left sleeve. He pulled the sleeve up and thrust it into Hermione's face. The arm was scarred, the Dark Mark blasted off. She didn't know it was possible to stay alive after Lord Voldemort was through with them. She'd never heard of someone having their Dark Mark forcibly removed.

"Can you understand now why I no longer want anything to do with the Dark Lord?"

His voice was breaking. His usual strong, intimidating façade was crumbling before her. Maybe Lucius Malfoy was simply a man. Hermione has villainized him for years as something more than he was.

"When they were trying to get Mr. Longbottom to come out of hiding right after the end of the war I knew I could not just sit by and watch."

"What do you mean?" She knew nothing about what Neville experienced.

"He was the Dark Lord's number one priority after Harry Potter. Wanted him dead for killing his snake. If ever there was an animal that deserved what it got, the snake did. Disgusting creature even if I am a Slytherin! There was a plan to get Mr. Longbottom out of hiding by using his parents as bait."

"That is horrible!"

"Indeed. His parents were paraded through Diagon Alley still clad in their pitiful hospital gowns. They sent messages throughout the country explaining what they were going to do to his parents if he did not show up in order to entice him to come to their rescue."

Lucius seemed reluctant to continue.

"Perhaps you have heard enough for the evening," he suggested.

"No. I am all right. Please tell me."

"Frank Longbottom was strangled to death in front of a crowd in the middle of the street. His son did not show himself. They waited a few hours to give him the opportunity to hear what happened. Then they took his poor, destroyed mother out to parade through the streets.

"I knew Alice Longbottom when we were children. She was a few years younger than me, but as with all pureblood families we were related distantly. Her parents and my parents used to spend a lot of time together. She was younger than me so I was not interested in playing with her, but even as a child, I could see what a sweet, pure soul she was. She did not deserve what Bella did to her. I never liked my sister in law, but her actions were despicable."

"What did they do to Neville's mother?" She didn't really want to know, but she knew she needed to hear.

"Several of my former associates raped her in the street."

Hermione gasped and burst into tears.

"I was watching the crowd, what was left of it anyway, for Neville. I knew he would try to come and stop it. He was standing in an empty storefront. Without anyone noticing I was able to approach him and stop him from running out into the street foolishly. By that time, his poor mother was already dead. It would not have helped for him to expose himself.

"I, somehow despite my history, was able to convince him to come with me. It was probably only shock. In his position, I would not have gone anywhere with me. He contacted Kingsley and we all met at the manor. Kingsley was suspicious of me, understandably. Neville stayed here for several days until we could get him a new, untraceable wand and Miss Abbott. From there I started helping the resistance where I could."

"Why did you help me?"

Lucius reached across the sofa and grasped one of Hermione's hands again.

"Someone needed to save you from Antonin Dolohov. No one deserves that man."

"Thank you for finding me."

Hermione rose from the sofa and with a whispered 'good night' went back upstairs to bed leaving Lucius alone in his study with his demons.