Chapter 4:

After telling Blair to give her a few minutes, Serena went up to her old room in Lily's penthouse. She fell onto the bed and closed her eyes to take a moment to breathe.

Blair had given her so many things to think about.

Even though she had technically given Blair her blessing to date Dan, she felt that Blair should have known better than to date the man that she had just declared her feelings for. She was supposed to be the prime of New York society and her best friend! Shouldn't she know when somebody, or at least her best friend of all people, was being fake? Or was Serena just that convincing?

Regardless of how much the thought repulsed her, Serena couldn't help but wonder how Blair would have reacted if she and Chuck had started dating. While that would never have actually happened, Serena was pretty sure that Blair would not have given her blessing, or at even fake given it. She would've started planning immediate social destruction and she (and possibly Chuck) would have had quite the price to pay. So why didn't something similar apply when Blair decided to date the love of Serena's life? Instead she had gotten yelled at for scanning pages of Blair's diary that she didn't even have the intention of posting.

Serena sighed. Why did it have to come to this? Sure she and Blair had fought a lot in high school, but she had thought they were way past that.

She honestly had no idea whether she wanted to completely forgive Blair. While she hadn't necessarily acted bitchy during Blair and Dan's little romance, she and Blair had definitely been drifting. It just wasn't the same. Serena could only fake being happy to a certain degree. It would take way more than an apology to even begin fixing things.

She looked over to her nightstand. There were several pictures on it: one of her and Eric, another of her, Blair, Chuck and Nate when they were younger, one of her and Blair from high school and her prom picture. Every picture contained genuinely smiling faces.

Sighing again, Serena couldn't help but miss how much easier it had been back then. They'd all been happy. She had been happy. And who wouldn't have been? She was an "it" girl with a great best friend, two other great guy friends and her family. And currently she had none of that, each was gone or messed up in its own special way.

So what did she have to lose?

Absolutely nothing.

Sitting back up, she slightly smiled to herself, confident in her decision.

No matter how much sisters fought, they'd always be family. So she couldn't give up on Blair, not just yet. Would they have to work hard to fix their relationship? Yes. But it would definitely be worth it.

And once she was finished with Blair today, she would begin to fix her life too. Blair had many amends to make, but it was also time for her to take control of her life.

She grabbed her stash of Pierre Hermé macaroons and a copy of Breakfast at Tiffany's and was out the door.

XOXO

Nate headed towards Chuck's room slowly, but cautiously after he saw Blair running out in tears. He shut the door behind him before approaching his best friend.

Chuck was slumped in his chair nursing a scotch.

"Hey, man, you ok? What just happened?"

Chuck stayed silent for a moment, eyes focused on his scotch. Nate could tell he was distraught.

"Blair came by," he slurred. Immediately Nate knew that it was definitely not his first scotch of the day. "She apologized for how awful she was to me and she wanted to explain… buuut then I told her to run back to Humphrey. Aaand she did…juust like I expected. It's fine I didn't need her pity…I don't need anyone's-"

"Chuck…she didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Blair broke up with Dan…"

"She what?"

"Yeah I think she did it earlier today. When she walked in here, she looked like a Blair I don't think I've seen in a while. She looked…sure of herself."

Chuck placed his face in between his hands. Just as he was about to respond there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Chuck said miserably.

"Hello Charles, Nathaniel"

"Bart," Chuck replied, immediately standing up and straightening his suit.

XOXO

Blair collapsed on her bed upon returning from the empire. She was glad Dorota wasn't home. She couldn't deal with any questions right now.

Her tears were uncontrollable at this point, and Blair didn't even bother to try to resist them. All the pain she had hidden away over the course of the past couple months was coming out. These were all the tears she hadn't cried.

Everything was so far beyond messed up.

She was no longer the woman she had always wanted to be because of her fears. She had lost her sister due to her selfish actions. She had lost the love of her life due to her lies. She had even lost a baby…

A new round of tears formed at that last thought.

Her baby. It hadn't even gotten a chance to live. She had been so concerned about herself and her pain that she hadn't even allowed herself to think about it.

And that was all she had really been doing for the past couple of months. She'd only been thinking about herself. Queen B was only supposed to be selfish and manipulative to enemies, not loved ones.

Her loved ones. She'd found a way to mess up her relationships with all of them. And what hurt the most was Chuck, especially right now because of the memory of her failed attempt at an apology constantly replaying in her head.

She just couldn't get that look off her mind. It made him look like he not only hated her (which he had every right to) but it looked like he hated himself for ever letting her in. He may have told her that she was the lightest thing in his life, but to her it seemed like all she did was make him hurt and turn to darkness.

How she hated herself right now. How could she even thought that she would've made a good mother? She couldn't even be good to a man that, even through some errors, loved her unconditionally. How could she possibly have taken care of a child?

Self loathing thoughts began piling their way into Blair's mind.

And she couldn't take it anymore.

It had been years since she'd last done it, but in that moment it was the only thing that she thought could bring her relief. It had worked in the past, so she figured it would provide her with the relief she needed right now.

She ran to the bathroom, locked the door and turned on the sink. She kneeled over and let it all out.

And it felt good.

Feeling slightly better, she cleaned up and went back to the bed. Right as she sat down, there was a knock at the door.

"Dorota?"

"No, B, it's me"

She walked over to the door and opened it to find Serena with a DVD and macaroons in hand.

"S? I thought you weren't coming." Blair said, glad that Serena hadn't arrived several moments earlier.

Serena smiled at her.

"I wasn't going to come. But I thought things over. You're my sister and I can't give up on you that easily. We both have things in our lives to fix and it'll be easier if we're there for each other. We can talk whenever you're ready, but in the meantime…" She held up the DVD and Blair smiled.

This was exactly what she needed right now.

Blair pulled Serena in for a hug.

"Thank you" Blair choked out.

A/n:

Ok sorry that took so long to update but I had a severe case of writers block!

So I realize that since I said that this would be my take on the finale I am going to have to focus on some of the other characters as well. But this will mostly be a CB fic. Having said that, there are a few things I've decided NOT to really focus on: the Ivy/Lola story line and the Van der Bass/Humphrey situation. However, there will be plenty of NJBC (as you saw, hopefully, in this chapter).

Anyways, I hope you all liked that!

I also wanted to thank you all for the reviews on the last chapter! Keep 'em coming! (:

Anyways, next chapter will be up in several days!

Xoxo,

thattchuckbasstard