"Hey Baby!" She exclaimed bonding up to me and giving me a quick kiss on the lips. Her peach lip gloss tasted so sweet.
"Hey." I grinned, as we went inside.
I knew her house so well, sometimes it almost felt like I was coming home when I stepped inside.
"Hi Gordo!" Mrs McGuire chirped giving me a kiss on the cheek. "I'm glad you could make it." She smiled, returning to the kitchen and busying herself with the oven.
I smiled, it was weird that she still called me Gordo. It made me remember all the times I'd come over her as Lizzie's friend and nothing more, with Miranda and we'd all sit and watch movies, or talk about the trivial crap that plagued our lives. Like how much Lizzie fancied Ethan, and how Miranda's mom was bitching at her to baby-sit. All of that seemed like such a distant memory now.
"David!" Sam McGuire grinning. "Good to see you son, how's school been going?" He inquired. I had always liked Sam McGuire, he had always took such and interest in Lizzie's life, he was such a father figure to all of Lizzie's friends. I liked how he was so interested in what I was doing these days, he was such a genuine guy. He had actually seemed over the moon when me and Liz had first started dating. I remember the grin on his face when I picked her up for our very first date. He'd slapped me on the back and told me I was definitely good enough to take his daughter out.
"Yeah, it's going well, Thanks." I smiled.
"Good, very good." He paused for a second, studding my face. "Now David." He put his arm around my large muscular frame, he was now a good 4 inches shorter than me. He steered me over to the couch. "Tell me, are you thinking of any particular colleges?" He said as we sat down.
"Well, there are a few I'm considering, I've applied to a couple, me and my dad were going to take a few trips around to see a couple more. At the moment, you know, I'm just trying to keep my options open." I was so sick of all the college talk. There was so much going on at home now, I barely had time to think about college. It was something everyone just expected of me. "Oh that David Gordon, what a bright boy, he'll definitely go to some amazing college and become a lawyer or a doctor or something.." To be quite honest, I still had no clue what I wanted to do.
"Very good." Sam McGuire said a grin appearing on his face, like he was proud of me. At that second I was so angry at him, He was proud of me. Why? I wasn't his son, my future education had nothing in the slightest to do with him? So why was everyone constantly making it their business. "You have so much potential David." He smiled at me "So much.." He trailed off and sighed.
"Dad, stop pestering Dave." Lizzie giggled re-appearing from the kitchen and falling on the couch next to me. I swung my arm around her and grinned. "No worries Liz" I said smiling at both of them. This "Genuin guy" bullshit I was pulling was getting old..
That's all I was, a pleaser, a bullshiter. I just told people what they wanted to hear. To tell the truth it really was all a load of bullshit. I just knew exactly what it was people wanted to hear. People don't want to hear the angst crap that goes on behind closed doors, they want to hear the positive stuff, even if it is a bunch of bull. They want to hear that your so figured out and your life is such a fucking wonderful cliche. The truth of the matter is, No ones life is that perfect, how the fuck can it be?! But as long as people don't want to hear the truth, you just have to carrying on throwing them all this bullshit, because it makes them happy, it makes there consciences easier.
"Guy's dinners ready!" Jo McGuire said poking her head round the door.
"This looks great Mrs McGuire!" I exclaimed, as we reached the table.
"Thank you Gordo!" She smiled. "Now where is that Matt!" She laughed. "Matthew McGuire! Are you coming down for you Birthday Meal or not!"
There was silence, until we all head slow clunking down the stair. Matt appeared at the door way and raised an eye brow. Matt McGuire, who now looked considerably older at the age of 16, sighed as he surveyed the room. I knew the torture of having to sit down for a family meal only too well, especially when your were a 16 year old guy, and all you wanted was to sit around in your room looking at porn and jerking off.
"Hey," he sighed, sitting heavily down at the head of the table.
"Everyone hungry?" Mrs McGuire said cheerfully, ignoring her son's obvious resentment of the occasion.
After dinner Liz glanced across at me, as she looked up at her mum who was collecting the plates.
"May we be excused." Liz said, Mrs McGuire rained an eyebrow and gave us both a knowing smirk.
"Go ahead guys." She said. "Be good.." She joked.
Liz's parents trusted us, they trusted me, having known me for so long. And Liz was always a good girl, never missing her curfew or causing problems for her parents. She was an average student, mostly B's and occasionally some A's. She was an all round good girl. I liked that. She was still so wholesome, where as high school had hardened most people, especially me. Liz had stayed the same old Lizzie, dependable, sweet, caring. She didn't smoke or drink, and didn't judge others that did. She was an all round sweetheart. It made me feel so much better being with her, she had such a purifying effect on everyone.
We cleared our places and I thanked Mrs McGuire, then we made our way upstairs to Liz's room. It was pretty much exactly the same as it always had been, still pinks and purples, with a collection of cuddly toys at the end of the bed. Every time I entered her room, it was like I had stepped back in time to middle-school.
She sat on the edge of her bed and shyly patted the space next to her. I smiled, she was so sweet. Anytime we were alone, in a bed room, she always got a little bit shy. It's not like me and Lizzie hadn't done anything. I mean we hadn't had sex yet, but we'd done all the other stuff practically. I never forced her, I made sure everything was ok with her before we went any future. She had stated quite early on in our relationship that she wasn't intending on having sex until she was certain it was right. I respected that, part of me knows that if I hadn' have been having sex else where I would have been slightly more impatient. We'd talked about sex. I told her I wasn' a virgin, she of course was. She seemed slightly upset at the time, when she found out I hadn' saved myself. We never went into the details of who I' had sex with, Knowing Lizzie, it wasn' something she would be interested in anyway.
We started kissing, softly at first, to my surprise she began to deepen it. Over come by passion I began sliding my hand up her top. Before I knew it we were on the bed half naked. I pulled away for a second and studied her eyes intently.
"Are you ok with this." I said, I wanted to make sure she was.
"Yeah.." She smiled gingerly. "I've been really think about it, you know, you and me and our relationship." She said stroking my chest. "I mean, I know that I said I wanted to wait until I knew it was right and stuff, you know, before we had sex..." She trailed off. "But anyway. I think that it is right, you and me, I mean I don't think, I'm sure." She smiled. I smiled back. Part of me was so scared, I knew that once I'd slept with her it would change everything. Me and Miranda would definitely not be able to carry on, it was one thing to sleep with Miranda when I could pretend it was all about the sex, but once me and Liz slept together, I'd know when I slept with Miranda, that it was more than just sex.
I nodded. "Liz, listen, I really don't want to push you into anything your not sure about."
"No, I am sure Dave, I've never been so sure in the whole of my life!" She exclaimed as she kissed me again, this time rougher. Caught up in the moment I kissed her back. I wanted her so much at that point. She slowly slide her hands further and further down my torso untill she reacted my pants. I let her un-button them, I was so caught up in the moment.
"Wait!" I sat up. I couldn't bare to look at her face. I couldn't believe what a jerk I was being, she'd just completely given herself to me and I was about to reject her.
"David." She said looking at me so intently, so as I couldn't avoid her gaze. Her dark brown eyes were brimming with tears. I had to think of something to say fast.
"Look, Lizzie. I just want this to be special." I did, but it wasn't my main motive. "I want your first time and my first time with you, to be really special. Not in your room while your parents are down stairs.. Do you get me?" She looked down at her hands.
"I suppose. I just thought that now was as good a time as any." She said fiddling with her bra strap. I felt so shitty, I was completely rejecting her.
"No, Liz." I said lifting up her chin so our eyes met. "I love you, ok? And I just want this to be special and amazing." I kissed her forehead. I really did love her, and it was partly the reason I was stopping this.
"Yeah." She managed a smile. "Ok, your right," She said gentle placing one of her cool hands to my cheek. "I love you too."
"Ok." I smiled as I slide off the bed. "we'll make this really special ok, I want this to be so special for you Liz." I grinned as I pulled my Shirt back on.
"Are you going already?" She said as a look of confusion crossed her face.
"Yeah, sorry baby, I really have to get home. I have about 2 papers due for tomorrow." I grinned leaning across the bed and giving her a peak on the lips.
"Ok." She forced a smile. I felt like the biggest bastard in the world. How could I even let myself do this to her.
"Do you still want a lift tomorrow?" I asked remembering her car was in the garage. "Yeah please." She said pulling her top slowly over her head.
"Ok baby, I'll come pick you up round 8?" I smiled
"That would be good." She replied.
"I'll see myself out ok baby." I grinned giving her one final peck. I rushed out of there as fast as possible, only stopping to say brief good-byes and a Happy Birthday to Matt. I really couldn't stay there any longer.
I put the keys in the ignition. I felt like crap. How could I have done that too her. How could I have lied straight to her face. The truth was I didn't have any paper due, at all. I'd practically finished up everything there was to finish. The principle had dragged me into his office just the other week, to give me another one of his "Now David.. We are so proud of you David..This school is made so much better because of you David.. Any college will be luck to have you.." And all that other bull shit he'd spin me. I knew as well as he did that I made his school look great. They had the infamous David Gordon in their school, Hillridge was a small place, and when they realised I had this big future ahead of me, they began to worship the ground I walked on. I know I sound cocky, but it was the honest truth. Liz and Miranda felt like the only people who wouldn't spin me all this crap and suck up to me.
I drove around for hours, I didn't want to go home, I had enough to think about with out my parents bothering me about college applications. Of course I ended up in Miranda's side of town. I drove up to her house and turned off the engine. I sat there for what seemed like hour, just looking at her house, at her open window. What was I going to do? I had everything.. But I wanted more. I had the chance tonight to have sex with Lizzie, the girl I had been in love with for that last six years, and I didn't take it. And it wasn't because I wanted it to be special, well it wasn't just that. It was also because I was so fucking scared. I was scared of committing myself, I was scared of making all my lies that much worse, I was scared of losing Miranda for good. I didn't love her in the pure, poetic way I loved Lizzie. I loved her in this raw, painful way, which made me feel so bad, but also made me feel so amazing. Miranda, and being in love with Miranda, took me to such new heights. Where as Lizzie was predictable and sweet, Miranda was raw and sensual. Our relationship was painful and full of turmoil and angst, but made it that much more passionate and crazy.
I couldn't go in there, I decided. Not tonight after what had just happened. I eventually made my way back to my house. Grudgingly I entered my house. I knew my parents were asleep, so that was a welcome relief. I turned on some equally melancholic music to suit my mood, and lay down onto my bed. God. What on earth was I going to do. I walked to the window and lit a cigarette. I looked across the lights of Hillridge, I'd lived here for so long, all my life, and with-in a year I would be leaving all of it behind, going off to college, growing up so to speak. Yet I still felt like such a stupid little boy. I was at a loss, and I knew that no one was going to help me out on this one. For a guy with an IQ of 170, I certainly was being stupid.
Authors note: Ok, so tell me what you think. I think I'm getting back into the swing of this story, god knows it took me long enough. Well anyway, I preferred this chapter to the last. This has also made me realise that I haven't really made any proper advances in the story line.. Should probably do that at some point. So anyway, yeah, please do tell me what you think. It's always nice to have a bit of feedback. So thanks for reading.