Upon Your Waking Hours-Chapter 4
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He decided to call it an early night, after all, there wasn't really anything else to do. Sure, he could have gone out, but with who? Alone? It wasn't the worst option and he'd done it in the past but not tonight. So he went back to his small apartment, cooked a good meal for himself and read a little bit of his most recent biography. He used to read exclusively fantasy, science fiction, any fiction really but something changed. The make-believe stories were doing him no good, he couldn't lose himself in the elaborate backdrop of a better world, not when this world did nothing but continue to kick him when he was down. He tried to be upbeat, tried to be the same old Spike that he always was before his life started crumbling…
He sighed as he glanced at the clock, it was only 10 PM but he was exhausted. Sleep had been alluding him lately and the week had been a tiring one so, he rationalized, he should be able to fall asleep quickly and avoid the tossing and turning that had met him recently. He was wrong, of course. He went through the motions of getting comfortable, adjusting the blankets, turning from one side to the other, to his stomach and back, tried closing his eyes, tried muscle relaxation and deep breathing. He smiled to himself as he considered counting sheep but quickly grew frustrated and threw the blankets from his body. He knew that the last thing he needed was a backlit screen but he had to keep his mind occupied. He fished out the controller and a random video game before sitting down and turning on his headset. He scanned his list of friends that he hoped would be online but was disappointed, it was a Friday night and some people had lives. He smiled slightly when he saw one name and wandered towards his position in the fictional world, occasionally shooting at the aliens that tried to attack him.
"Hey, Clark." Spike spoke into his headset as he neared Ed's son's animated intergalactic soldier.
"Hey, Spike. What's up?" Clark asked as he shot at an alien that was coming up behind Spike.
"Not much, couldn't sleep." Spike said as he threw a plasma grenade at an oncoming spaceship.
"Dude, it's like 11." Clark said with a bit of shock.
"Yeah, yeah well not all of us can have the energy of a seventeen year old!" Spike found himself smiling as he and Clark chatted for another few minutes, casually taking out aliens as they spoke. "Want to level up and do a mission together?" Spike asked.
"Yeah." He responded, glad to have Spike playing on his team again. In the past few months Spike had been online a lot at the same time as Clark and Dean and he was a pro. Clark wasn't sure if it was the fact that he was on the actual shooting range multiple times a week, the fact that he was the tech guy on the team, or the fact that Spike was just kinda nerdy but somehow that combination made him pretty much unbeatable, Dean and Clark had learned that the hard way.
"You flank me on the left and provide cover fire while I clear the eastern hallway. Watch the windows." Spike spoke efficiently as Clark struggled to keep up with him. Clark smiled as Spike shot a canister of flammable liquid and their controllers shook with the force of the explosion. Spike's character on screen froze suddenly, his gun lowered as more aliens began attacking from both sides.
"Spike?" Clark spoke into his headset with a slight hint of panic as he reloaded and started picking off enemy aliens for him and Spike. "Spike, what's wrong?" Clark asked again. He saw the frozen avatar on screen flinching from bullets hitting him, his health quickly disappearing. What Clark couldn't see was that Spike was in a very similar state sitting on his living room couch. Spike heard Clark speaking in his ear, heard him asking what was wrong, but couldn't tear his face from the screen, couldn't get the images to stop replaying in his head of another explosion he'd seen, another body that flailed and fallen on the cold ground…"Spike!" Clark yelled now, louder than he probably should but it finally roused him as his eyes focused in just enough time to see his avatar fall and begin the process of respawning.
"Ah, sorry Clark." Spike apologized as he saw Clark's avatar fall to the ground in a spattering of blood.
"It's fine," Clark said quickly, "you okay?" He asked with concern. Spike thought about what to say, wanting to say something, needing to tell someone and deciding that Clark was mature enough.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I wasn't expecting the explosion and…well it's exactly four years since…well since we lost Lou." Spike felt a weight lift from his chest as he finally said the words that had been trying to fight free all day. There was a brief silence as Clark paused the game and spoke sincerely.
"I'm really sorry, Spike…" He said, not quite sure what else to say. "You want to call it quits for tonight?" Spike thought about the question before shaking his head and then verbalizing his response.
"I'll get you through to the next checkpoint and then I'll log off, that okay?" Spike asked, not wanting to leave Clark to fail the mission, not really wanting to leave himself either, sleep definitely would not come now.
"Yeah, that's great if you're sure." Clark responded, trying to figure out what to say to assuage his friend's pain. Clark, Dean, and Spike had all grown close, especially over the last year when they were placed into a chemistry class and were both helplessly lost. Greg suggested that they ask Spike to tutor them and, though at first hesitant, they both grew to talk to and confide in Spike like an older brother.
"Watch to your right, Spike." Clark said as they moved nearer to the end of the level and there was a quiet knock on Clark's door. "Come in." He said without even looking away from the screen.
"Clark?" He heard his father's voice and quickly glanced in his direction, surprised to see him fully dressed and with his cell phone held to his ear. Clark turned back to the game and shot an alien that was moving to jump on him.
"Hang on Spike." He said before pausing the game and removing one of the headphones from his ear. Ed's face grew confused as he looked at the screen.
"You're playing with Spike?" He asked curiously as Clark nodded. "Okay…" He was a bit surprised but continued. "I know I promised you and mom the night free but I need to go out and I need you to watch Izzy." Ed saw Clark's face fall and felt badly but he was needed and he couldn't leave Wordy hanging. "But, I count this as you babysitting for me, so," He stepped into Clark's room and put thirty dollars on his desk. Clark sighed slightly before nodding.
"Thanks, dad." Ed nodded towards him as he made his way over dirty laundry to the door.
"Don't let your mother wake up, you're babysitting so she's not to lift a finger." Ed cautioned, as Clark nodded. He was about to turn back to the game before suddenly turning again.
"Wait, dad." He said quickly before making sure the microphone on his headset wasn't on. "Spike…" He started but wasn't really sure what to say.
"What about Spike?" Ed asked with some concern.
"Well, he seems really down tonight. He told me that it's four years to the day that you guys…lost Lou…and, I think he's kind of upset. Said he can't sleep and kinda froze in the middle of the game when there was an explosion…"
"Dammit." Ed said under his breath, of course that's why Spike was pushing so much for drinks, of course that's why he had bags under his eyes the last few days, of course everything was coming together, now, at midnight when Spike was alone and not able to sleep. Ed thought for a moment before looking at Clark. "You can talk to him through that thing, right?" Clark nodded and turned the microphone on before handing it to his father.
"Spike?" He said awkwardly.
"Ed?" Spike was surprised to hear his Team Leader's voice in his ear, almost feeling like he was at work.
"I'm gonna take you up on your offer, buddy."
One or two chapters left, we'll see. Let me know what you think. This chapter got a little more angsty than I meant and was actually a little less Spike than I meant but I still love it. :) Oh, and I know my Americanisms are showing the the dollars but you're all creative people so pretend that I used more legitimate Canadian money.