Chapter 3: Admittance

Steeling herself for further confusion and unpleasantness, Olivia pushed open the door to the cabin and headed toward the smaller therapy room. She'd hidden herself away in the surrounding woods for a while, trying to regain her composure and sort through everything she was feeling after Elliot's pronouncement. But now it was time for their couple-therapy session and, much as she didn't want to go, she also wanted to finish this farce and return to her job as quickly and painlessly as possible. Her normal, every-day job, where no one thought anyone else was sexy.

Or, at least, tried not to think that way.

Sighing, she entered the room and sank onto the sofa next to Elliot, staunchly refusing to make eye contact. Traci was nowhere to be seen.

"Liv, I'm sorry." His tone was pleading but she just couldn't bring herself to face him. Not yet. He continued anyway. "I came looking for you—"

"I know. You're as subtle as a bull in a china shop." She had heard him come close to her spot once, but she hadn't revealed herself and he'd moved on. "I just needed some time, Elliot."

He was quiet for a moment. "I understand. Look, if you wanna bail on this whole thing, I'm sure we can work something else out with Cragen."

Thinking, Olivia stared down at her hands. Then she shook her head. "No, he said not to come back until we'd worked out our issues. And El—" She finally glanced up at him, "—we have a lot of issues. We may not be a 'couple,' but we need this."

They stared at one another and then Elliot nodded once. "Okay. But I have an idea to make it more bearable. Just follow my lead."

Olivia rolled her eyes at the return of his usual cockiness just as Traci entered. Their therapist clapped her hands when she saw both of them on the couch. "Good! You're already here so we can get started. I was a little worried we'd have to hunt you down, Amanda." She shot them a brilliant smile as she closed the door and took her seat. "So. We have some interesting dynamics to explore today."

"Actually, Traci, we wanted to talk to you a little first. You see—" Elliot glanced at Olivia and she just shrugged. She had no idea where he was going with this. "The thing is, Trace, we're not a couple. We're cops, and we're partners, and we were supposed to be at conflict resolution training." He held his hands out in a oh well, what are you gonna do? sort of gesture and waited for Traci's reaction. Their therapist glanced at Olivia for confirmation.

"He's right. We've been partnered for almost fifteen years and when we found out what this weekend really was—well, we just decided to brave it out." Olivia paused, debating her next words. When Traci just nodded thoughtfully, Olivia decided to forge ahead. "But there's a limit to the couple-y things we're willing to do. You have to understand, when we leave here, we go back to being coworkers in a high-stress environment. We can't—we can't talk about how attracted we are to one another!"

She felt her cheeks burn and once again refused to glance at Elliot. He probably thought she was accusing him, but really, she just needed Traci to back off them a little during group sessions. Surprisingly, their admissions seemed to have shocked Traci into being mature for once.

"I see. I have to say, this is the first time I've had this happen." She looked between the two of them and then nodded, almost to herself. "Well, it's like I told you on the first day—couples' therapy really is just conflict resolution, at the heart. I think if we just set some boundaries, we should still be able to help you two, but without veering into unwelcome territory." This time Traci's eyes remained locked on Olivia's. She seemed to be trying to figure out just how unwelcome it really was, and Olivia let her gaze slide away.

And then perky-cheerleader Traci was back. "Okay! Well we still have a lot of work to do in your first coup—er, partnered session. I guess my main question is: why do each of you think you're here?"

An hour later, Olivia and Elliot exited the small therapy room. The session had gone surprisingly well, and Olivia felt like she and Elliot were starting to broach subjects that had needed to be examined for a long time. It was kind of a relief, honestly, to get some things off her chest, and she suspected Elliot felt the same way. Olivia also admitted to herself—begrudgingly—that Traci was good at what she did. She'd managed to lead them into some helpful conversations without forcing anything on them, and Olivia hoped they could continue to work on their partner relationship now that the therapist knew their secret.

They decided to go for a run while they waited for the other couples to complete their group sessions. Traci had hinted at something "fun, fun, fun!" for the afternoon and Olivia was feeling particularly anxious about whatever their perky leader's idea of fun was. Some exercise would hopefully help her work out her tension, and she and Elliot had always run in companionable silence before, so there was no fear about delving into issues she didn't want to discuss right now.

As it turned out, Traci's fun activity was a simple game of capture the flag. Apparently she had decided to give them all the afternoon off from individual sessions, and Olivia was secretly relieved. There was no way she wanted to face Traci's inquisitive nature and uncanny ability to read people after the morning's events, so it was with barely disguised glee that she donned a t-shirt, stretchy pants, and sneakers for their outdoor time. Traci explained that they would have ten minutes to hide their flag, at which point a horn would sound and they could go in search of the other teams' flags. The idea was to give the couples time to work together towards a common goal, and Olivia thought this might be something at which she and Elliot could finally excel.

When Traci blew her whistle, Olivia leapt forward, calling, "Follow me!" over her shoulder at Elliot. He obeyed immediately and Olivia marveled at the level of trust they held in one another—at least most of the time. She sprinted into the woods to get out of sight of the other two couples before slowing her pace.

"I know the perfect place for our flag," she huffed as he caught up.

"Lead the way," Elliot murmured and she sped up again, leading him to her hiding spot from earlier. It was a small ridge at the edge of a pond, and it was completely hidden from view. The ground simply fell away near the water, but the four-foot drop disguised a small bench-like area, big enough for a person—or a flag. The beauty was that anyone approaching the pond wouldn't think twice about peering over the edge because the ridge wasn't obvious.

As Olivia hopped down and planted their flag into the dirt, she heard Elliot mutter, "Hidden in plain sight. Brilliant." She couldn't help the grin that stole across her face.

He reached down to give her a hand up, and Olivia tried not to think too much about the feel of his strong fingers clasped around her own. She was so focused, in fact, that she wasn't expecting his tug and lost her balance. Careening into him, she hurried to regain her footing and retrieve her hand. She could feel a blush starting and cursed Elliot's morning revelation yet again.

"Do you want to go after Melanie and Andrew's flag first, or Muffy and Barney's?" she asked. She didn't bother waiting for an answer before rushing on. "I'd bet that Muffy and Barney's is easier to find, so maybe we should grab theirs before Mel—"

"Liv." Elliot was smiling at her in that knowing way he had. She narrowed her eyes at him. "We have to wait for the horn, remember?"

"Right." Feeling even more awkward than before, Olivia paced around for a moment until a thought occurred to her. "Wait! We should be getting as far away from our flag as possible in case someone sees us—"

Elliot was already moving, gesturing for her to follow, so she did. She guessed they'd been moving stealthily through the forest for about three minutes before the horn sounded, so she hoped that if they did run into another team, they hadn't given anything away. Elliot stopped to consult with her and they agreed that Muffy and Barney would likely have thought that farther away was better, so they headed for the back extents of the forest. Within five minutes the trees started to thin out, and Elliot and Olivia each turned and took a different direction by unspoken consent. In this, at least, they were on the same level. Olivia felt some of their normalcy returning.

After about ten minutes, Olivia spotted a flash of blue underneath a nearby pile of leaves. "El!" she called out, excited as she grabbed up a flag.

He hurried over and grinned at her discovery. "Nice work," he said, reaching towards her. Olivia thought he wanted the flag, so she thrust it towards him at the same time his hand connected awkwardly with her shoulder. Realizing he'd meant to pat her on the back rather than take the flag, she flushed. Neither spoke for a long moment, and then Elliot made to grab the flag just as she dropped her arm. The tension ratcheted up when their mutual fumble caused Elliot's fingertips to brush against her breast.

Olivia drew in a sharp breath, and Elliot sighed as he tilted his head to crack his neck. "Sorry for making things weird with us," he said at last.

"No, it's not—we—" Olivia stuttered to a halt because really, he had been the one to open his mouth and admit that he was attracted to her. But they were adults, there had to be some way to fix this. Maybe if she just laughed it off, they could move on. "I'll refrain from filing a harassment complaint this time," she joked.

Elliot's face tightened and Olivia winced. Great. Now she'd insulted him somehow. "That is, I mean, it's not every day you get felt up by—"

"Liv, just stop." Her partner scrubbed a hand over his face before meeting her eyes. "I get it. You're freaking out because I said you were sexy but you don't feel the same way and now we're stuck in the wilderness together—"

"Oh, but I do!" she interjected. Then she slapped a hand over her mouth. Idiot.

Elliot looked confused. "You do what?"

Olivia closed her eyes, hoping against hope that someone would come along and ruin this moment before she was forced to answer. No one came, though, so she made her lips form the words. "I do. Feel the same way."

Silence reigned and Olivia peeked one eye open, expecting to find Elliot looking smug. Or at least flabbergasted. Instead, though, he just looked mad.

"You don't have to try and spare my feelings," he growled before ripping the flag from her unresisting hand and stomping off in the direction they'd come.

"But—I—" Well, now she was really confused. Did he really think she would lie about something as monumental as that just so he wouldn't feel like an idiot? Probably, her mind supplied helpfully. You're too caring, he tells you that all the time.

Huffing out an exasperated breath, Olivia scurried after the retreating form of one very offended detective.

They spoke only in one- and two-word directives as Elliot led them to the other side of the forest, where he was convinced the other team's flag was hidden. Olivia decided to go along, hoping that being in charge for a bit would help soothe Elliot's injured ego. In record time they located the flag and now Elliot was holding both. Thankfully, some of his sour mood seemed to have dissipated with the discovery of the second flag.

"Do you think we should hide and pretend that we're guarding our flag, or head back towards—"

"Ssh, someone's coming!" Elliot grabbed Olivia and pulled her beneath an outcropping of rock with him. There wasn't much space but Elliot pressed himself against the back wall and flattened her against him. They held their breaths, waiting to see who was coming.

It was Muffy and Barney. Olivia waited to hear their reactions to losing their flag, but the couple didn't even seem to notice. Actually, now that she could hear them more clearly, she realized they probably wouldn't notice if Olivia leapt out and waved the flag in front of them.

"Oh yes, Barney, god!" Muffy moaned. Olivia stiffened and she felt Elliot tense behind her as well. Suddenly the couple moved into view, and Olivia gasped as Barney lifted Muffy to pin her against a tree trunk. Luckily the two of them didn't seem to hear her, but Elliot clapped a hand over her mouth anyway.

"Are you sure you want to do this here?" Barney asked as Muffy tore at his belt. "Anyone could come along—"

"Oh, please. The others aren't playing some dumb game. They're doing the same thing we are," she assured him, kissing his neck. "Come on, baby, I'm so ready!"

Olivia looked at the two flags lying on the dirt at her feet and felt a stab of disillusion. So she and Elliot were the only two "dummies" to have taken the game seriously. And here she'd thought they'd been so clever to have gotten both flags so quickly.

The talking outside the little cave had ceased, and Olivia squeezed her eyes shut as the two lovebirds revealed themselves. Unfortunately, there was no escaping their hideout without discovery, and she and Elliot had a prime view of the action.

With her eyes shut, Olivia was suddenly, painfully aware of all the parts of her that were touching parts of Elliot. The hand on her mouth was firm but gentle, and she inhaled the scent of his skin guiltily. His other arm was still wrapped around her waist, holding her to him, and she could feel the flex of his fingers against her hip. Her entire back was pressed to his front, and Olivia let the sensations of his strong legs and solid torso sweep over her. She was lost in a bizarre purgatory of want and restraint—because this was her partner and she wouldn't—couldn't—jeopardize that. Not even if it promised to be absolutely fucking delightful.

A scream of pleasure from Muffy caused Olivia's eyes to snap open, and she got an eyeful of the amorous couple. Watching as Barney buried his face between his lover's breasts, Olivia felt herself loosen in a rush of arousal and she sank back against Elliot even more. He staggered once before bracing them more firmly. The hand at her hip tightened until it was almost painful, but Olivia didn't want him to move it so she didn't make a sound. Desperate for more contact, she dropped the flags and reached behind her to grip his thighs and hold herself upright.

"Liv, what are you doing?" Elliot asked tentatively into her ear. At this point, Olivia thought they could probably yell and Muffy and Barney wouldn't even notice, but she appreciated his whisper nonetheless. His breath against her cheek was its own version of erotic and she clenched his legs for dear life. She didn't bother to respond—wasn't it obvious she was in the midst of a moral dilemma? She didn't think he really expected an answer, anyway, because his hand was still covering her mouth.

Speaking of which... Olivia let her tongue slip out to trace the seam between two of Elliot's fingers, and to her amazement he didn't wrench his hand away. In his surprise, though, he did lower his hand just enough for her to suck the same two fingers into her mouth. She didn't know what had come over her, but being forced to watch Muffy and Barney go at it while her partner was stuck in a cave with her was proving too tempting to resist. That her partner also thought she was sexy didn't hurt, either.

Tasting Elliot's skin for the first time of her own accord and not because one of them was undercover nearly undid her. She bucked her hips against him and she swore she felt evidence of his return interest as well. Then Elliot moaned quietly and Olivia had definitive proof. She leaned her head back into the crook of his shoulder and reached up to pull his hand out of her mouth. Suffused with a new boldness, she placed his palm over her breast and held his hand there lest he try to remove it.

"God, Liv," he choked out, reflexively squeezing her breast in his large hand. She ground her hips against his growing erection just as they watched Barney finally plunge his cock into Muffy. "Shit!" Elliot gasped.

They remained nearly frozen that way while they watched the other couples' lovemaking grow more and more frantic. Elliot's hands remained still and Olivia resisted the urge to spin around and grind herself against him more effectively. All of Olivia's previous bravado had fled, and now it was all she could do not to bolt from their hiding spot in embarrassment. But she stayed where she was, because she had never been this turned on before.

Her lust only ratcheted up another notch when Muffy started to cry out her pleasure and Olivia felt Elliot's breathing grow ragged behind her. Her fingers flexed against his thigh in time with the couple outside. Soon, Barney's roar announced his completion as well, and the giggling but sated couple strolled from the woods, clothes gripped in their hands. Olivia focused on taking deep breaths to calm herself, but this only served to push her breast further into Elliot's hand. Releasing him suddenly, she stepped away and folded her arms around her waist. She gave him a minute to try to regain his composure, as well, and then she turned partially towards him.

"I guess we can head back now," was all she managed before she bolted from the cave. She couldn't bear to look at Elliot and see the expression on his face—if it was one of pity or disdain she wouldn't be able to stand it. Then again, if he was looking at her with desire, the consequences might be even worse.

She hurried through the woods in the general direction of the cabin, hearing Elliot's footsteps close behind her. Neither one spoke. Within two minutes, however, a crack of thunder sounded and the heaviest downpour Olivia'd ever experienced fell from the sky. Breaking into a run, Olivia looked over sharply when Elliot came even with her and grabbed her hand.

"Don't want you to trip," he shouted over the sound of more thunder. They raced through the forest, but it was no use. The cabin was still far away and the storm was torrential enough that they were soaked within seconds. Olivia hated the squishing sound coming from her shoes but knew it was a lost cause. At this point the best they could hope for was that neither one fell and took the other down with them.

After what seemed like an eternity, they reached the back patio of the cabin and dove under the awning. The wind still blew the rain at them, though, as Elliot struggled with the sliding door. Once he wrenched it open, they practically fell inside. The air conditioning made Olivia shiver, and she felt her nipples pucker. Judging by Elliot's quick glance at her, he'd noticed as well. Deciding to do her best to ignore it, she made her way to their room, Elliot right behind her. They grabbed all the towels from the bathroom and set to work drying themselves off in the main living area. Olivia's teeth were chattering, though, and she needed to get out of her clothes. There was no way she was going to do that in front of Elliot, however.

"I'm, um, going to hop in the bathtub, I think," she blurted out, thinking longingly of the hot water bubbling away in the tub. Plus, the privacy of the bathroom would allow her some time to regain her composure.

Elliot simply jerked his head in acknowledgement and Olivia dashed for the bathroom. Slamming the door shut, she let out a deep breath. She'd felt his eyes on her the whole way, and the shivers racking her body were no longer purely from the cold.

A/N: So I just realized today that Olivia's alias, Amanda Collins, is basically the name of Amanda Rollins, one of the newer cops. Oops. It was unintentional, and I'll just say that maybe Cragen grabbed the name off a resume he had sitting on his desk at the time. *magic*

Not Dick Wolf or NBC.