An Author's Note: In the episode Night of the Living Spud they call Bushroot's scientific plant name Lycium nycanthropus, which one google search later came up with an article on the Wonderful World of Wiki as Boxthorn, apparently a kind of nightshade. So no, I didn't pull some of the out of thin air…I just google searched. Not the best research method, but then again we are dealing with the mirror verse of a cartoon universe with talking anthropomorphic ducks. So, yeah, I'm not that worried. This is a fanfic, after all, not a dissertation.
I also deeply suspect that Lycium nycanthropus translates to something like: were-plant-duck-thing.
Bushroot
Reginald Bushroot smiled down at the daisy plant and gave it a nice sprinkling of water. He gently checked the leaves for any signs of brown. Overall the plant seemed to be healthy. Reggie nodded to himself and wrote down his observations on the chart next to the daisy.
"Hey Reggie, are you gonna hurry up and finish that?" Dr. Larson grinned as he passed by Reggie. "You'll miss all the fun, you know?"
"Oh, I know, but Dr. Dendron would have my hide if I skimped on this work."
"Not like she can do her own damn calculations." Dr. Gary said as he walked over to the other two. "But then again, that's technically your project, Reggie. We all know she stole it from you!"
"Aww, I don't mind. Besides, this project could help everyone! Who cares who gets the credit as long as we're helping people?" Reggie smiled as his two friends.
"…hmmm naw." Dr. Gary grinned "I think I like the money! I mean, what else can do with my time?"
Reggie laughed and shook his head "You could buy a personality!"
The three of them laughed as Reggie watered yet another plant. True, it had been his idea to create a formula that could give plantlike qualities to animals. Qualities like photosynthesis. It would help solve hunger crises around the world. Of course, Dr. Gary and Dr. Larson's work with enlarging foods could also work, but that was just one solution to a problem. Yes, the formula had been Reggie's idea, but it was Dr. Rhoda Dendron who was profiting from it. She had been the one to take the idea to Dean Tightbill, and it had been her that was in charge of the experiment, even though Reggie was the one doing all the work. Both Dr. Gary and Dr. Larson had expressed their disapproval with this, and if Reggie had possessed a shred more ambition or a bit more inclination towards pride he would have objected as well.
But the fact was that he didn't have that much ambition. He was happy just taking care of plants, doing research, and hanging out with his friends. He could have been able achieve a PhD, but he was content with his Masters. Had his social skills been left underdeveloped he no doubt wouldn't have gotten along as well as he did with others, but while he was something of a nerd he did have the ability to get along well with other intellectually minded people. And while Dr. Gary and Dr. Larson made no secret of the fact that they wanted their project to succeed mostly because of the money it would provide them, they were not particularly immoral or greedy. Their research would do a lot of good, and if they happened to profit from it, that was fine. Besides that, they were good friends, and Reggie could forgive a little greed.
Now, what he couldn't forgive…
"What are you doing? What have I told you about chatting on the job?" A banshee shriek emitted from the direction of the door.
"Oh shit, here comes the Dragon Lady." Dr. Larson grumbled.
Dr. Rhoda Dendron was beautiful, but she was also very harsh and cruel. You wouldn't expect a scientist to be as nasty as she was, but she was indeed one of the meanest individuals in the entire university. She was ambitious and driven, but not quite intelligent enough to come up with the big ideas. The ideas that would make her rich. Now, normally Reggie wouldn't care about her ambitions, but he did care about fair play.
As a lab assistant he usually spent more time around the labs then the actual professors, and he had noticed something odd. Whenever Dendron had left a lab there would always been a little something wrong with the lab. Sometimes a Bunsen burner would be up to high. Sometimes a vital piece of equipment was missing. While Reggie had no proof, he was becoming very suspicious of his boss.
"I'm almost done! Take a look." Too excited about the plants to be to upset with the irate woman in front of him, Reggie grabbed a chart and pointed to it. "These Lycium seem to have the greatest concentration of the enzyme. If you take the essence of the Lycium and infuse it with animal tissue, it might cause the effect we're looking for…or it could kill you."
"Hmmm." Dr. Dendron looked over at the thorny plants that Reggie was indicating. "Fine. Concentrate on them. Get rid of the rest of this trash." She turned and stalked away.
Reggie sighed as she left. "Trash the poor plants? What a waste! I can't just trash them! Besides, I'm really getting to like the experimental spud! It's cute."
"Daww, did you find a new girlfriend?" Dr. Larson chuckled.
"Yeah, right. Watch out, Larry, it'll suck out all your blood!" Reggie gently picked up his spud and shook it at the doctor in a playful way.
"Ahh! Evil russet!" Dr. Gary laughed.
"We'll help you get the other plants loaded. Then we need to go to the bar. The game's gonna come on in thirty minutes!" Dr. Larson grabbed a rather sad looking rose and started to cart it to the door.
"Yeah, bring your girlfriend, Reggie." Dr. Gary grinned and picked up a geranium.
Reggie smiled and picked up the spud. It really was a cute spud. He thought he'd plant it. Everyone liked potatoes. He could make his own fries!
He was just loading the last plant in his truck when he looked up at the university and saw a strange figure moving about one of the labs. It looked almost like Rhoda Dendron, or at least a female form.
"Hey guys, I'll meet you at the bar later, okay? I got something I want to check." Reggie said.
"Are you sure, Reggie?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
Dr. Gary and Dr. Larson shrugged and got in their car. They drove off, leaving Reggie totally alone in the deserted parking lot. He quietly snuck back into the university and silently climbed the stairs to the third floor. He snuck over to the door to the lab that his two friends worked in and peeked in.
Dr. Dendron was standing the middle of the room, stuffing files into a shredder. He gasped a bit when he realized that his suspicions about her were correct. She was trying to cheat the other researchers out of their hard work.
As if she had heard him Dr. Dendron whirled around, and Reggie quickly ducked. Knowing that she would probably investigate he snuck backwards until he reached the stairs and crawled down them, softly but swiftly. He heard the door to the lab open.
"Whose there?" Dr. Dendron's voice echoed through the halls.
Reggie gulped and kept slithering down the stairs, a bit faster this time. He made it to the bottom floor and to the parking lot. He crept to his truck and started it, driving away.
Above him, in the lab window, Dr. Dendron was glaring at him with hate filled eyes.
"Arm! Arm!"
"Spine! Spine!"
"You always pick the spine, Larry!"
"That's because they crash into each other headfirst!"
"Damn." Dr. Garry muttered as the football player on the screen collided headfirst into another player. "Yep, that'll be spinal damage."
"And that's three points for me." Dr. Larson said as he added another point to his score.
Perhaps it was because they had been teased in high school by jocks. Maybe they felt a bit of schadenfreude. Perhaps it was a bit of both. Whatever the reason, their favorite game to play in a bar was the Football Injury Guessing Game. Whoever was the closest to guess the injury got a point. Sure they didn't actually know if the players really did get hurt, but they usually awarded themselves the points anyway, just because they like to imagine the horrible injuries. Usually Reggie would join them, if only to laugh at them and drink. He lived only a few blocks from this bar, so driving was not a problem for him. He just had to turn a corner. Besides, while he did drink, he didn't really get drunk. He had one, and then switched to some sort of soda.
"Hey Reggie! You look a bit upset! You okay man?" The bartender, a large red fox named Quincy, looked up as Reggie came in. Reggie did look a bit shocked. He was pale and shaking as he walked up to the bar where Dr. Gary and Dr. Larson were seated. He sat down and nodded at Quincy, but said nothing.
Quincy cocked his head and nodded. He pulled out a glass and filled it up with Reggie's usual and handed it to him. Reggie sat down and stared at the drink.
"Hey, Reggie, is something wrong?" Dr. Larson asked.
Reggie's eyes slide to the friendly neighborhood bartender. Quincy, who knew when to scoot and give people their privacy, suddenly had the urge to fill up the little glasses with the peanuts at the other end of the bar. He ambled over and slowly filled peanut glasses, not even looking at the three scientists who were his most quiet and least troublesome customers. You didn't usually get nice polite customers like them, and he wasn't going to threaten that by being noisy.
"You guys," Reggie muttered to his two friends. "I saw Dr. Dendron in your lab. She was shredding some of your files!"
"What! That witch!" Dr. Larson growled.
"I told you she would do something like that." Dr. Garry chuckled. "To bad she doesn't know that I've copied all of it! Got the copies in a file at home, where she can't get them. For a scientist she's pretty dumb."
"Still, who knows what else she might be doing in there! She could be sabotaging your equipment or something. She could ruin you guys!" Reggie said.
"Don't worry." Dr. Gary grinned. "You're not the only one who suspects her. So does Tightbill. I know that a few others have gone to him with complaints. You could be another witness! We can go to him tomorrow, and he'll have to listen."
Reggie sighed. He knew that Dr. Dendron had to be stopped, even if that meant killing the project he was partly responsible for. Oh well. That's just the way things happened. Hopefully, Dr. Larson and Dr. Gary would have better luck.
"I'll do it. Go to him tomorrow." Reggie said. Though his words were strong his hand was still shaking.
"Are you sure about this?" Dean Tightbill looked Reggie over with some concern. The older duck wasn't a fan of Dr. Dendron, as he thought of her as pushy and far to full of herself. The rumors about her were even less savory, especially when he had heard that the idea for the photosynthesis serum was actually Reginald Bushroot's idea. Tightbill was a botanist himself, and had encouraged Reggie's progress through the college. He had been annoyed that Reggie hadn't wanted to continue on towards a doctorate, as he was sure the brilliant duck could have easily become Dr. Bushroot if he had made the attempt. But he hadn't, and had even stepped back and let Dr. Dendron take over the project that should have been his.
"I'm positive. Sir, you have to do something. Dr. Gary and Dr. Larson's work is just as important as ours, after all."
Tightbill frowned. "I don't agree. To be honest I think those two are full of hot air, just like those repulsive floating burgers of theirs. However, I can't allow fraud to happen in my university. You aren't the first to come to me with complaints about that woman. It's time I did something."
Reggie followed as Tightbill marched to the labs. Reggie felt exceedingly nervous. In fact he felt like vines were growing in his stomach and wiggling around in there. He was a bit terrified of Dr. Dendron. She had a very loud voice.
Tightbill, however, wasn't going to be intimidated by anyone or anything. He marched into the lab with all the fury of a small tornado. Dr. Dendron turned with a sneer on her face, but that sneer disappeared when she saw the dean.
"So, Doctor." Tightbill gave her a hard look. "How is that project coming along?"
Dr. Dendron stammered "Umm, well we've narrowed down our options to one plant that has the highest dose of the needed enzyme. All that we need to do is isolate it and start testing it."
Tightbill nodded grimily. "That's too bad. Dr. Dendron, for three weeks I've been getting complaints about you. Complaints that you've been sabotaging other's work."
"You have no proof!" She screeched.
"I have a witness." Tightbill nodded at Reggie. "As well as others willing to collaborate with his story."
Dr. Dendron sneered at Reggie. "You fool! I was willing to share a small bit of the limelight with you, but you had to go and ruin it!"
Reggie shook his head. "I wanted this project to succeed, after all it was mine in the first place, but what you are doing is wrong. You took something that was supposed to be for everyone and made it all about you and-"
"Shut up you whining, cringing little pacifist freak!" Dr. Dendron shrieked. "I've had enough of your prattling!" To everyone surprise she picked up a heavy Bunsen burner and lobbed it at Reggie's head. Reggie ducked, now scared to death. The Bunsen burner smashed into the chess playing toaster head robot in the corner of the room. The robot began to emit a terrible metallic scream and jerked to its feet. Still screaming it stumbled around the room, breaking things until it collapsed on the ground, smoking and destroyed.
"Get out of my university! Now!" Tightbill bellowed. "Get out and never come back!"
Reggie could have sworn he saw a little cloud of steam emit from Dr. Dendron's ears, but that could have just been imagination. She glared directly at Reggie as she stomped out of the lab. As she passed him Reggie could have sworn she muttered "I'll get you for this, Bushroot."
Reggie was shaking a little after she had stormed out. He barely noticed that Tightbill was giving him a considering look. "Now, even though I know it might cost this fine institution a bit more then I had planned….perhaps you could take over this project in place of Dr. Dendron?" He was staring directly at Reggie when he said this.
"I…I'd hate for it to go all to waste." Reggie said with a small smile. At Tightbill's nod he went over to the plants and began to examine the charts, deciding how he would proceed.
If he was lucky, he would be ready to try it out on something living tonight.
By the time Dr. Dendron had gotten to her home she was shaking, not just with rage, but with fright. If he found out about this, that she'd lost her job and her access to that serum…
She shuddered. Why did she borrow that money? Couldn't she have waited a bit? Her greed had gotten her into this mess, and if he found out that-
She gasped as someone pushed her roughly into her apartment. She stumbled forwards and nearly tripped over her own rug. She heard the door slam behind her. She turned around and gasped. How did he find out so quickly?
"Hey doc." Negaduck grinned at her evilly.
"What's up?" The thug that had entered her apartment with Negaduck, obviously some sort of hired muscle, was also grinning. His grin faded a bit when Negaduck reached up and punched him in the face.
"Don't make lame jokes, Launchpad." Negaduck sneered. The thug shut up. He was a really ugly, muscle-bound thing, whose expression was that a rock that had just been smashed by a hammer. He was the kind of person that Dr. Dendron normally turned her well formed nose up on sight, but the fact that there was a crime boss looming in her apartment was a bit more worrying at the moment.
"Quite a place you got here." Negaduck strolled around with a faux impressed tone. "I especially like the new television and the Persian rug. Tell me, missy, was it my money that bought that rug?" Negaduck smiled at her with all the pleasantness of a shark. "Because if it was, I do hope you've enjoyed it, because I've come to collect."
"I…I…" Dr. Dendron started to back away from Negaduck, only to bump into Launchpad, who was grinning and cracking his knuckles.
"You know, it amazes me how many people don't understand the basic function of a loan." Negaduck said. "I mean, I give you money, you pay me back later with interest, now is that really so hard?" Negaduck picked up a crystal unicorn figure and played with it, tossing it lightly from one hand to the other.
"I know how a loan works!" Dr. Dendron snarled.
"Then you should know to pay up!" Negaduck hurled the unicorn into the wall, missing Dr. Dendron's head by a millimeter. "Now, unless I start seeing some green papers, I'm going to get a wee bit annoyed. You don't want that to happen. Not unless you want to become road pizza!"
"I don't have any money, I was fired today!" Dr. Dendron gasped as Launchpad gripped her by the shoulders and started to drag her to the window, intent on hurling her out. "Wait, stop!"
"Sorry, but it's pizza time. I so love pizza, don't you?" Negaduck grinned.
"No, wait, I know a way to pay you back! I just need to get my hands on that serum!" Dr. Dendron's eyes widened as Launchpad pushed her towards the edge.
Negaduck help up his hand to Launchpad, who sneered a bit, but stopped.
"What are you babbling on about." Negaduck asked.
"The project I was working on. It's a serum that can give living things plantlike abilities. Particularly photosynthesis."
"What would we want with a better camera?" Launchpad snarled.
"Not photography, twit. It's the ability to get nourishment through sunlight. Plants do it." Negaduck said. "And how would this pay me back?"
"Surely a well connected man like yourself knows people who can make use of such a serum?" Dr. Dendron said, hoping that this would save her life.
Negaduck frowned a bit. He really wanted to toss her out the window, but this serum thing sounded interesting enough to hold up on the pizza option. Still, he didn't trust Dr. Dendron.
"How do I know this will work?" Negaduck asked. "After all, you just said you're not working on it anymore, anyway."
"Bushroot. They'll have given that project to that incompetent slacker! If I can sneak in tonight I can get the formula and the test subject as well."
Negaduck grinned. "Aww, how unethical. Use your coworker as a guinea pig? I like it. But, just to make sure there are no…accidents, I had better go with you. Wouldn't want to miss any pizza opportunities. I do so love pizza."
Dr. Dendron gulped as Negaduck settled back into her couch with a nasty expression on his face. Tonight wouldn't come soon enough for her.
"Yes! It's ready!" Reggie danced a bit as his finished the device that would extract the enzyme from the plant and transfer it to an animal. It had taken him all evening, and it was nearing ten o'clock, but he was done. Finally done!
"Great, now can we go?" Dr. Larson grumbled. Reggie's two friends had waited for him to finish his work, but were getting very bored. They wanted to go home.
"Just give me a second to get this mouse in the machine…" Reggie scooped up a lab mouse, a non-sentient mouse, and walked over to the very Frankenstein like machine. He had already strapped in a nice shrub to the device. "All it needs is a little electricity to fuse the plant cells and the animal cells, and we'll have success!"
"Great, Plantmouse." Dr. Gary chuckled.
"Ack!" Reggie yelped as the terrified mouse snapped at his finger. With a mighty wiggle the mouse was out of there, dodging away with a determined squeak. Before anyone could catch it the mouse slipped into a crack in the wall, and was gone. None of the ducks could follow it, but the mouse did come in contact with a small toy motorcycle in that hole. Unfortunately it didn't know what to do with it. It wasn't a very clever mouse.
"Oh man, at that was the last lab mouse!" Reggie groaned.
"You might have to buy another from the pet store, or something." Dr. Larson said as he eyed the hole. "We'll never see that squeaker again!"
"Or, one of you can volunteer." A sinister voice said with a chuckle. "Care to raise your hands, kiddies?"
"What the…you're Negaduck!" Reggie turned and gaped at the crime lord that was currently strolling into his lab, gun in hand and chainsaw visible, strapped to his belt like a gun. Behind the villainous duck lumbered Launchpad, and right behind him scurried Dr. Dendron.
"Oh, observant egghead. Great. Now get on the table knob." Negaduck grinned. "Unless you want to see your friends here with Swiss cheese for brains." Negaduck laughed and pulled the trigger. The bullet smashed into Dr. Larson's kneecap. He fell to the ground with a terrible squealing noise, a sound filled with pain and surprise.
"Stop! Don't!" Reggie jumped in front of his two friends, terrified, but more scared of seeing them dead.
"Get on the table, then. You get to be the lab rat tonight. Either that, or…" Negaduck cocked his gun, and Reggie scrambled to the table and climbed on.
"Launchpad, watch those two. They do anything, you know what to do. Doc, get to work before I get bored." Negaduck snapped at the two behind him.
Reggie glared at Dr. Dendron as she came over and attached the device meant to hold a mouse over his arm. "How could you do this?"
"It's either you or me, Bushroot. Way I figure it, it should be you." Dr. Dendron couldn't look at him, but she didn't hesitate in her work. She finished connecting him to the machine and walked over to the switch next to the machine. She gave Reggie one last long look, then she turned the switch.
Reggie's followed the progress of the green liquid that flowed from the poor plant, up the tube connecting them and finally reached his arm. He winched as the needle inside the tube broke his skin and injected the plant's essence right into him. The electricity powering the device sparked and shot around. Reggie's eyes bugged as pain shot through his body.
For a brief moment he thought he heard a terrible wail in his mind. Something was dying.
Was it him? It might have been. He felt himself fading. Something was…different. He could see green everywhere. The green of trees and shrubs and vegetables. It was beautiful. Things brushed at the corner of his mind. He heard the wind playing across the oaks outside. Heard living things running the grass. No, no wait. He wasn't hearing this. He was feeling it. I was a part of him now. He didn't know how, but it was.
The feelings lasted only a moment, and then he blacked out. He didn't remember anything more.
Negaduck frowned as the machine whirled to a stop. "Well, did it work?"
"I don't know." Dr. Dendron frowned. "He doesn't look any different. The only way we could know for sure was if we got some sunlight."
"Launchpad, do you like gravel or concert with your road pizza?" Negaduck said casually.
"Gravel. More lumpy." Launchpad said.
"Wait wait! Let me try something!" Dr. Dendron said.
"You have five minutes. After that, I want my dinner, if you know what I mean."
Dr. Dendron pushed a sunlamp over from where it had been set up to nurture the little plants. She pointed it over Reggie and flipped the switch. "If it worked, this should have some effect."
She turned the lamp on. It shone brightly on Reggie, but did nothing that Negaduck or Launchpad could see.
"Hmmm, looks like a dud to me." Negaduck said.
"No, wait, please. Give me some time! I can fix it, I swear!" Dr. Dendron started to back away, blubbering and pleading for her life.
"I'm bored now. Toss her Launchpad." Negaduck said.
"Yes sir." Launchpad grinned and grabbed Dr. Dendron's wrist. She screeched and fought, clawing at the big thug with her manicured nails, but all that did was chip her paint. Launchpad didn't even feel it. He smiled as he dragged her towards the window. With no effort he grabbed her waist. With a mighty heave he tossed off the third floor window, through the window.
Dr. Dendron 's terrified scream was cut off abruptly as she met the ground. Negaduck peered over the edge and smiled at the sight of the broken body. He would go get what was owed to him from looting her home and selling her stuff on the black market. He had done this before.
Dr. Larson and Dr. Gary were hugging each other, hoping that if they stayed very very quiet, Negaduck would forget about them.
"Hey, boss, this nerd is turning green!" Launchpad pointed at Reggie, who was still unconscious. It was true, his hands were turning green.
Negaduck walked over and watched as Reggie's hands became a light green. His eyes widened a bit as the scientist's hands started to flatten and take on the appearance of leaves. The rest of Reggie was turning green as well, and a tuft of purple…stuff burst out of his head.
"Huh, he's turning into a plant." Negaduck grunted. "That harpy was right after all."
"Do we waste him?" Launchpad asked.
"Hmmm, no." With a casual flick of his hand, Negaduck pointed his gun as the two quivering researchers and shot two times, capping both of them in their heads with all the air of one turning on the television. Launchpad didn't even blink as the two dead bodies fell to the ground. "We got a good fall guy this time. Let's not waste him. Besides, with that machine we can make our own army of plant mutants!" Negaduck knew that anyone who actually investigated would find that someone had shot the two eggheads, but that would be a longer time coming when people were panicking over a plant monster. By the time those feds, feds like that annoying Steelbeak or "heroes' like the twice as annoying Megavolt found out the truth…well Negaduck would have his army!
"Get the machine, Launchpad, and let's go. A bit later we'll go to a nice floral shop…" Negaduck laughed as his thug picked up the machine with one arm and carried it out with them. They never looked back.
Reggie groaned and opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a light shining in his eyes. It almost blinded him. He groaned and rolled over, opening his eyes again. It was ten minutes to midnight. He slowly got up from the table, his head pounding and his eyes stinging.
"Ow…what happened?" He muttered. "I feel so…so…I don't know how I feel" He looked over and gasped.
"No!" He rushed over to the bodies of his two friends. "No! Negaduck, you monster!" He reached to touch them, but gasped as finally noticed that his hands had become a pair of very thick leaves. "What? What did they do to me?"
He heard someone rushing up the stairs and down the hall towards the lab. Reggie turned as the door was thrown up and the night janitor burst into the room. The man's flashlight struck him and Reggie winched.
"AH! Monster!" The janitor screamed and slammed the door behind him.
"No! Wait!" Reggie ran after the man, trying to explain this to him. Unfortunately his new rootlike feet got covered with the blood of his two friends, and as he ran he left twisted, bloody footprints in his wake. The janitor turned, screamed again, and broke a fire extinguisher container on the wall. He turned the improvised weapon on Reggie and fired a cloud of foam at Reggie. Startled, Reggie jumped back. The man took the opportunity and fled.
"Wait!" Reggie held up a leaf to stop him, but the janitor was already charging down the stairs.
Reggie lowered his hand and sighed. He didn't know what to do. Here he was, his friends murdered, his work stolen, and oh yes, he was a vegetable now! Where exactly was one supposed to go when one was a vegetable?
Anywhere but here! That janitor will call the cops! Do you really think they will listen to you more than that janitor did? He thought. But where can I go?
Come to us, brother.
"Huh? What." It had not really been a voice, but his mind processed it as such. It was more like a feeling, like an instinct deep inside him. His mind wanted to translate it to words, but there were no words for such a feeling of…of…there were no words. It was like love, or acceptance, or belonging, but deeper than that. He could sort of recognize the emotions as ones he had felt for his family and friends. If he had never been exposed those kind of emotions; if he never had friends to compare the new feelings with they would have been incompressible to him.
Come, we will shelter you.
Reggie looked around and noticed an elm tree at the window, its branches moved restlessly against the glass, as if trying to reach out towards him. There was absolutely no wind outside. Reggie should have been scared, but instead he felt calmed. Almost mesmerized, he walked over to the window. The tree leaned back and broke through the window. A branch reached out and gently scooped him up. He felt no fear. He knew, in his heart, that the tree had no intention of hurting him.
Help you, little brother. The tree said in Reggie's mind.
"Why? How can I understand you? I can hear you in my mind, but-"
You are one of us, sapling. Worry not. The Green shelters its own, no matter what they do or what they were before. All life comes to us in the end.
"Hehehe, circle of life kind of thing, huh?" Reggie laughed. He could feel mild puzzlement coming from the tree, but then it faded to amusement. The tree shifted a bit on its roots and stood up, revealing the hole where its roots once gripped the earth. Gently the tree planted Reggie into the earth. The tree shifted back and covered Reggie with its roots. Soon, there was no evidence that a plant-duck had been there.
Reggie could feel the tree above him, and the roots all around him. He could feel the warm earth he had been planted in. Had he still been a duck he would have felt trapped, buried alive, and claustrophobic. But as he was now he felt comforted and warm and safe, like he was being held by his mother as a child. The earth was warm and good, and he couldn't help but love this.
"Still, as nice as this is, I should get moving. I don't want them to dig me up or something. Ah! My greenhouse! I'll go there! Thanks for helping me, Mr. Elm."
Welcome.
As Reggie wiggled through the earth, using his roots to shift the dirt away, he had a feeling that welcome hadn't just been a response to his thanks, but an actual welcoming into a leafy, green family.
For a few seconds he wasn't so upset anymore.
"It was horrible! A green monstrosity with a duck beak! It was covered with blood and looming over Dr. Gary and Dr. Larson!" The janitor babbled at Steelbeak with wide eyes.
"Ah haaaa." Steelbeak said as he examined the bodies of the two deceased scientists in front of him. It had taken him a few minutes to get there, and he was starting to get annoyed with the janitor. How much stupid could you really fit into one head? "And plant monsters usually shot people with guns, right?"
"Er, maybe it was after their blood!"
"Yeah, maybe, which is why all this blood is around here?" Steelbeak grumbled as he stared at the man.
"Messy eater?" The janitor volunteered.
"Maybe, but I doubt it." Steelbeak said. Oh, it was not like he didn't think there had been a plant monster, or at least some kind of monster. The tracks of blood all around the place were unlike any he had ever seen, and his job for the feds had him coming up against some really strange stuff from time to time.
"Alright boys, I want those bullets taken to the lab and examined, as well as those prints. In the morning I'll talk to the people who knew the stiffs. Maybe they might have some insight on our plant monster." Steelbeak didn't know if the thing the janitor saw was a victim, an accomplice or a witness, but he was going to find out.
Reggie made it back to his greenhouse, a place outside St. Canard where he could raise his beloved plants in seclusion and privacy. The moment he tunneled up from the hole he had dug he was assaulted by multiple voices from his plants, each whispering a welcome for him, and telling him how much they liked him. It was odd for Reggie, who although he liked the plants he didn't realize how much they liked him back. He knew most people saw plants as just things, like a rock or a chair, even though he knew that they were complex living organisms. Now, here was proof.
For hours he simply wandered about his greenhouse, sensing everything his could from his friends. About noon he found himself getting tired and thirsty. As if summoned by this stray thought one of his daffodils grew larger and formed a kind of seat for him. He relaxed and another plant grabbed a water jug and poured some on the ground for him.
"Ah, thanks." He smiled and dipped his new roots into the puddle. He frowned when he noticed the bits of dried blood on his roots. "I…I forgot about them…how could I do that?" He shook his head. Being a plant was…odd. He felt that his brain was moving a bit slower. He wondered if all plants moved at a slow pace. It felt like it. The plants felt mildly concerned about him, but not inclined to get up and do things unless he specifically asked them to, or was too distressed to ask. Plants weren't big on the whole moving thing, and unless they had to they stayed put.
If he wasn't careful his mind would sink into the rhythms of a plant. He didn't want that to happen. He wasn't to upset about being a plant, not anymore. But he didn't' want to become inert either.
But what to do? What could he do? It wasn't like he could walk down the street: last night was proof of that. Besides that, the machine…the machine!
Reggie jumped up from his daffodil and started to pace around, talking aloud to his plants. "My machine wasn't there when I woke up! Negaduck must have taken it! Maybe Dr. Dendron as well! Who knows what he could be doing with it! Why, he could be making more plant mutants as we speak! He doesn't know about the plant telepathy, but he'll figure it out! I have to stop him, but how? Who knows what chaos a maniac like him will sew?"
Little brother, here comes a rat.
"Here comes a wha-" Reggie turned just in time to see something yellow burst through the window of his greenhouse and roll. To Reggie's utter shock, Megavolt, who before now had only been a blurry picture in a newspaper to Reggie, lifted himself on one knee and pointed that zapping gun of his at Reggie's chest.
"Freeze, mutant." Megavolt said.
"What? How did you find me?" Reggie asked.
"Brilliant deductive reasoning."
Reggie stared at Megavolt with a disbelieving expression. Megavolt shrugged. "Okay, I've been peeking in greenhouses ever since I heard on the news about a mutant plant wreaking havoc. But that's the last havoc you are going to wreak!"
"Hahahaha, good thing I followed you! You find all the fun playmates!" To Reggie's utter shock a strange duck dressed as a clown poked his head into the hole that Megavolt made in his greenhouse wall and leaped in. Okay, it was a back flip.
"You! Are you following me?" Megavolt screamed at Quackerjack. The duck grinned.
"Maybe." Quackerjack sniggered.
"Okay, that's creepy! Stop being creepy, Quackerjack." Megavolt demanded.
"This has just become incredibly strange." Reggie said.
"Hahahaha! It's a talking veggie!" The clown laughed.
"Yeah, that's me." Reggie couldn't help but chuckle a bit "Reggie the Veggie."
"Hey idiot! Killer plant monster! Why are you laughing at it?" Megavolt shouted at Quackerjack.
"Hey, that's uncalled for! First off, I'm a he!" Reggie objected. "And I'm not a monster or a killer!"
"Enough!" Megavolt screeched and fired at Reggie, who instinctively bent his now flexible body to the side. Quackerjack laughed and tossed a pair of his clacking teeth at Reggie, intent on chomping the plant to mush. Reggie screamed as one of them bit into his arm and drew sticky green sap.
Then the plants intervened. Apparently they could be spurned into action when he was in distress. One of the grape vines slithered over and tangled itself around Megavolt's feet. With a yank the vine lifted him up off the ground. Megavolt hollered and shot lightning at the vines, but for each one that he burned another took its place.
Quackerjack bounded around the greenhouse, dodging thorns and pumpkins and other assorted plant life. He leaped over to Reggie and tried to kick him, but an annoyed flytrap snapped at his ankle and bit down. It was a large flytrap, but still small and somewhat delicate. Quackerjack kicked at the thing and attempted to stomp it. All the while Reggie heard a strange grumbling noise in the back of his head, like a loyal bulldog coming to the aid of his master. Reggie realized it was the flytrap. He also realized the loyal thing was about to be crushed.
Oh no, if only it were bigger! He thought as he reached for the imperiled plant. To his astonishment the little flytrap grew in size until it was taller than Reggie. It let go of the leg it had, and Quackerjack jumped away with a slightly puzzled look on his face. That puzzled look disappeared when the flytrap lunged forwards and snapped him up.
"Ah! Don't hurt him!" Reggie said. The flytrap looked at him like he was crazy, but it didn't chew or swallow. Reggie took a moment to collect himself.
Megavolt was glaring at Reggie as the vines held him, making sure he didn't do anything. It was clear that he was ready to fry Reggie at the next opportunity. The rather annoyed sounds coming from Reggie's flytrap indicated that Quackerjack was not pleased either.
"Now." Reggie said. "Let's all just calm down and talk about this. I didn't kill anyone, Negaduck did."
"Negaduck!" The two chorused in almost perfect unison.
"Ah, that got your attention?" Reggie grumbled. "Look, I'm Reggie Bushroot. I was working on a serum at the university, a serum that can give animal life plantlike abilities. My boss, Dr. Dendron, was performing unethical practices, trying to sabotage the other researchers at the lab. She was fired, and I took charge of the project. I was just finishing a machine that can automatically perform the transfer, when she came in with Negaduck and some thug. I think Negaduck called him Launchpad…"
Megavolt, who was finally listening, said. "I know the guy. Real knucklehead. Has the brains of an ameba."
"Can someone let me out of the nice duck eating planty? It smells in here and it's not fun!" Quackerjack said.
"Promise that you won't attack me again and I'll let you both go." Reggie said.
"Aright, fine." Megavolt was giving the mutant a calculating look. Maybe he had been a little hasty. The guy didn't act like a villain or a monster. He seemed pretty darn rational, a whole lot more rational then Quackerjack. "I'll listen."
"Promise." Quackerjack said. Reggie wondered about trusting someone who used the tones of a disappointed child, but at the same time he didn't want to antagonize either individual.
"Its okay guys let them go." Reggie nodded at the flytrap and the vines, who complied. The vines merely allowed themselves to fall to the ground, dumping Megavolt on the floor. The flytrap coughed and spat out Quackerjack, then gamboled over to Reggie and rubbed against him like a loyal dog.
"Aww. Think I should call you Spike." Reggie smiled at the flytrap. "I should have known that a flytrap would be very active!"
"That's so cute!" Quackerjack grinned. "Isn't it Mr. Banana Brain?" He asked the doll.
"Sure is." Quackerjack waggled the doll and pitched his voice high. Apparently he was unaware that he was making the doll talk, or that he creeping the other two out.
"Anyway…" Reggie said. "Like I was saying, Negaduck and his cronies broke into my lab and held me and my two friends at gunpoint. Dr. Dendron wanted to use me as the lab experiment for the serum, and if I didn't do it they would kill my friends. I did what she asked, and blacked out. When I woke up I was a plant monster…" Reggie's voice grew more and more sad and upset as he talked, and at this point he sank to the ground. Spike waddled up to him and rubbed his snout on Reggie's head, trying to comfort him. "I...I woke up and saw them dead. He killed them anyway! I thought…I thought. There was nothing I could do! I…" Reggie shook his head.
The two others looked at him with mirrored looks of empathy and understanding. Reggie realized that both of them, even the nutty one, had been through similar experiences when it came to Negaduck.
"Negaduck's the real monster, not me." Reggie said sadly.
Megavolt tensed up. "Yes, he is. And I'm going after him. I can't let him have an army of mutants at his side. That's what he is going to do, you know? Make more like you, but this time from people loyal to him! I gotta stop it!" Megavolt marched towards the door.
"You mean us, right?" Quackerjack said with a grin.
"Oh hell no!" Megavolt whirled around and zapped the ground near his feet. "I told you already that I work alone! You two should stay here!" Megavolt turned away, and in a small voice that the other two could barely hear muttered "You'll only get your fool selves killed."
The two left in the greenhouse stared at the retreating back of Megavolt for a few moments. Almost as soon as he was out of sight Quackerjack laughed. "I'm not missing playtime!" As if a thought had penetrated his brain, Quackerjack's gleeful look was replaced with a sad one "Megavolt's not the only one who's had Negaduck poof…poof." Quackerjack shook his head and pulled out a pogo stick. In a few moments he was gone as well.
Reggie stood in his greenhouse, not knowing what to do. He wanted to cuddle up with his friendly plants. Let the lunatic duo do as they wanted. But then he thought of Dr. Gary and Dr. Larson. His two friends. If he just sat by and did nothing, then what? He once stood up for what was right, when he challenged Dr. Dendron by going to Tightbill. He had to stand up again.
"Spike, you wanna bite some bad guy?"
The flytrap nodded.
Reggie hadn't expected to find quite the disaster he did when he arrived at the warehouse where Negaduck had stashed the machine. His plant telepathy had worked well, telling him that several scared roses, carnations, and lilies had been kidnapped, their term, from a floral shop. As he got closer he could even hear the little plants crying in terror. They weren't being handled right. They had no water, not even floral foam. They had been left in the open air, drying and gasping for water and cool. Reggie always hated to see poor looked aftered plants with their brown spots and their sad dropping petals. This was worse. He knew how much they suffered now.
And the worst part was, Negaduck probably would have liked the knowledge that the plants he stole were suffering.
Reggie let the ivy growing on the warehouse walls lift him to a window. He gasped at what he saw. Megavolt and that other guy…Quackerjack, had apparently both been caught. They had been tied up on a dangling hook, and were apparently being lowered into a vat of water. It looked both incredibly elaborate and exceedingly too much at the same time.
"Gee, he has no problem just shooting someone, and then he does something like this? Negaduck is really weird." Said the mutant.
He looked around some more and he noticed the machine he had built sitting in the middle of the floor. Reggie had no idea if Negaduck had started already, but he did know that the crime lord had taken the time to gloat as his two victims, as he was just finishing off an evil speech.
"…and I know how much you loooove water, Megadolt. And once you short out, your little clown buddy is gonna see how much!" Negaduck laughed and strode towards the device. "Hey, at least you get front row seats to the birth of my army!" More evil laughing.
"I just want you to know that this all your fault." Megavolt sneered at Quackerjack.
"I'm not the one who tried to take on twenty people all on my own!"
"You got in my way!"
"You don't play nice."
"You're such a child!"
"You're mean!"
"Oh please, they're like a pair of brothers fighting over a toy!" Reggie muttered. "Well, I guess they need an adult!"
He knew what he needed to do. Destroy that machine. He knew how he could do it as well. He also knew that if he did do what he was thinking, many plants would be hurt, and might die.
Reggie couldn't ask them to do it, not unless he knew that they would understand. He concentrated on the ivy. He let them see into his mind. Let them see themselves twisting and growing in the machine, destroying it from the inside. Let them all grow inside, and clog up the gears and the switches and the other nooks and crannies. He let them know just how many of their sprouts would be lost. Then he let them know why. He let them know that an evil person was hurting good people, and that he needed to be stopped.
We care not for that.
But…
Animal morality means nothing, but we shall do it.
…why, if it means nothing to you?
Because, you are ours. We protect what is ours. Now and forever, the Green protects its own. Save your animal pets, little brother. Leave it to us.
Reggie nodded as the ivy began to grow, subtly, under the ground, the vines reached. Growing faster than they would have normally, they reached for the machine and crawled into it. Reggie could feel them doing it.
Reggie slipped into the warehouse via the window, using his vine arms to grip the ceiling supports. He swung up and edged himself towards the two dangling heroes. He noticed a little clacking teeth thing that had been discarded on the floor. He reached a vine arm down and nabbed it, all behind Negaduck's back. The crime lord was too busy gloating to notice.
Finally, Reggie reached the place right above were the hook was connected to a crane. Apparently sometime during Reggie's crawl to the hook Negaduck had given to order to start lowering the two down into the water. Reggie pulled himself to a sitting position and started to fiddle with the clacking teeth.
"Now, how do you work?" He muttered.
At this point Quackerjack looked up. His eyes widened, and then a mad grin spread across his beak. He whistled to get Reggie's attention. The mutant looked down at the clown, who managed to wiggle a finger loose. He twisted the finger in a clockwise direction, indicated which way to turn the teeth.
Reggie nodded and began to twist the little key thing on the teeth. Megavolt, who finally noticed this, looked up as well. His eyes bugged out and he started to mouth the word "no" at Reggie furiously.
Reggie ignored him.
Finally, when he was sure the teeth were done, he tossed them on the ropes holding Megavolt and Quackerjack. Megavolt's eyes seemed to grow to the size of small plates. IN fact, it almost appeared that they bugged right out of his head. The teeth seemed to snarl as they chomped through the ropes.
Reggie concentrated hard on controlling his limbs. He sent his vine arms down and as the last rope parted and the teeth fell in the water, Reggie wrapped his new vine limbs around the two. They didn't even fall an inch. Reggie strained their weight a bit more then he thought.
Both of them need to cut down on the fatty foods…He thought as he struggled to pull them up.
Unfortunately, Quackerjack couldn't stand it anymore. His hooting laugh echoed through the warehouse. Every thug in the room turned towards them, including Negaduck.
"I hate you so much." Megavolt grumbled.
"I know you are but what am I?" Quackerjack laughed.
"Oh god, you didn't just say that! I'm going to forget you ever opened your bill!" Megavolt groaned.
"Please control yourself…children." Reggie said. Yesterday I was filing papers in a nice air conditioned university, now I'm playing hero with the city's personal Superpig wannabe and Herby the Happy Clown. What the hell happened?
Having fun, little brother? Just another day for the Green.
And apparently I'm hearing a Collective of plants in my head. Good God if this wasn't so serious it would be hilarious.
Negaduck was jumping around and pointing at the two dangling heroes and the plant mutant. The thugs began to fire, and Reggie tried to speed up the reeling in.
"Wait a minute. Clown! Can you explode that tank?" Megavolt asked.
"Of course!" Quackerjack grinned and pulled out a round bomb from…somewhere. Reggie didn't want to know where, he might get an answer. Quackerjack snapped the fingers on his right hand and came up with a small fire. Reggie could see the little lighter hidden in his sleeve. It would have been a better trick if Reggie had been level with Quackerjack, if that had been the case it would have looked like the clown had just summoned a small flame. Quackerjack lit the bomb and stared at the little fuse.
"Throw it, idiot!" Megavolt bellowed.
"Not yet." Quackerjack said "Pyrotechnics is serious. Why do you think that is? It's because of the fire! Okay!" Quackerjack's mad grin widened. "It's plaaaaaaaaaytime!" He dropped the bomb.
The bomb fell and exploded before it hit the water. However the force of the explosion was enough to burst the tank open. As Megavolt gripped the supports above him he pointed his gun at the water spreading all over the floor…and all over the thugs.
"Eat my light." Megavolt growled as he pulled the trigger. The electricity stored in the gun struck the water, shocking the small army that Negaduck had brought. Negaduck, who was smarting then his thugs, had gotten out of the way, as had his main thug, Launchpad.
At that point the plants had apparently decided that they were bored. The machine gave a mighty creak, and then broke apart like an ill built sand castle. Vines wiggled around the machine's parts, tossing them around for good measure.
Negaduck, enraged, jumped on the vines with his chainsaw, slicing and cutting. His face was twisted in rage and hate. Reggie could hear the vines scream, and he clamped his leaves over his head, but the voices couldn't be stopped. It was not that kind of hearing.
"Hey, Veggie. No time." Quackerjack grabbed Reggie by the shoulders and lifted him up. "Time to go!"
Megavolt looked from Negaduck to Reggie. This could be his chance! If he just hit that maniac while he wasn't looking then it would be over! But, that plant mutant was hurting. He needed help. With a grunt of anger and frustration, Megavolt grabbed Reggie as well and helped Quackerjack run towards the window. A few more stray bullets grazed by them, but they didn't hit anyone.
By the time Negaduck had collected himself, the three were long gone.
"I almost had him!" Megavolt raged in Reggie's greenhouse.
"He almost had you." Reggie pointed out. "Don't forget who came and saved you!"
Megavolt closed his eyes and sighed "Yeah, I remember. Thanks…Bushroot right?"
"I thought it was Reggie Veggie?" Quackerjack said.
"You're crazy, you don't get a vote." Megavolt said with gritted teeth.
"You wouldn't hold a little thing like sanity against a guy, would you?" Quackerjack grinned.
"Yes, yes I would." Megavolt retorted.
"Now children, that's enough." Reggie said with a laugh.
"I'm not a child!" Megavolt bellowed.
"Stop acting like one then." Reggie said. He wasn't laughing anymore. "The two of you aren't getting anywhere by bickering all the time. That's how you got caught in the first place. If you're gonna work together-"
"I have no intention of working with this lunatic! Or you for that matter! You helped once, but that's all!" Megavolt bellowed.
"…you're a bully." Quackerjack pouted.
"I'm not a bully!" Megavolt jumped up and down, throwing a very childlike temper tantrum. "I'm not letting any of you get hurt! No one is getting hurt because of me!"
"You know, you don't have a monopoly on powers." Reggie said as he indicated Spike, who was panting beside his master's side. "Or a desire to help people. You're unique, Megavolt, but you're not alone. You don't have to be alone."
"AHH! None of you get it! Team up together if you want! Play hero! I don't care! Just leave me out of it!" Megavolt stomped towards the exit of the greenhouse, never looking back.
Reggie sighed as he watched the rat leave. "I wonder what happened to make him like that…" He muttered. His eyes turned to Quackerjack, who was tugging on the ends of his hat and looking very upset.
"Hey, you okay?" Reggie asked.
"He's mean. People like him aren't supposed to be mean." Quackerjack said.
Reggie stared at Quackerjack for a long while. The duck gave him the creeps, but at the same time, there was something very earnest and good about him. Reggie knew that he couldn't get out of this. He was a mutant now, a monster. Might as well make it worth it.
"I'll help you." Reggie said. "Maybe we can convince Megavolt to join us, one of these days. But until then, we can help each other."
Quackerjack's strange grin returned and the clown bounced around Reggie. "Hehehe! I got a playmate! I got a playmate! I like you, Veggie! You're nice!"
"Er, right." Reggie sighed. "You know what; let's just stick with Bushroot from now on. I…think it fits better now than Reggie. And then I won't have to hear more Reggie the Veggie jokes…okay not as many. Not sure how long I can keep this guy down. I swear he's like a kid…
The newspaper was not faltering:
Lunatic and Monster Team Up? Will This Bring St. Canard Relief or More Terror?
St. Canard thought it had seen it all when Megavolt appeared on the streets, but now, two more super powered beings have appeared, apparently emulating his style. The duo seems to be a force for good at the moment, but deeper investigation led to some terrifying realizations.
One of these "heroes", calling himself Bushroot, is a monstrous plant-duck hybrid. A hybrid that might have had something to do with the murders at the university last week.
"I saw it looming over them!" A witness claims after an encounter with the thing. "It was covered in blood and shrieking at me! It's a menace that needs to be put down!"
The other one, an oddly dressed clown who calls himself Quackerjack, after the failed toy company, my seem more normal. However, reports indicate that he is, in actuality, an escapee from the St. Canard. Asylum, a well renowned mental institution.
The only question is, what is worse? A murderous monster and an escaped lunatic, or the criminals of St. Canard…"
Steelbeak lowered the paper, his usual smile on his face. "Well, it looks like the plot thickens! I wonder what super powered hero we are gonna have next in the line! Hope it's a good one!
Nothing else happened for several months.