Chapter 4: The Aftermath
When I regained consciousness, my vision was blurred and I was dizzy. Despite the fact that I was lying down, I felt like I was falling over again and again. I saw shadows, figments, blurred blobs of color moving and colliding with each other.
'It worked' I thought 'I have to be dead'
I was thinking that for about 5 minutes until I heard it. Heard something I hadn't heard in a very long time; the voice of an angel.
And this is how it starts
The sound of an acoustic guitar echoes through the room, making his voice sound more dominant, yet hushed.
Take your shoes off in the back of my van
What is this song? Have I heard this one yet?
Yeah and my shirt looks so good. When it's just hanging off your back
I have heard this song. What do I do? What do I say?
I guess I'll just join in.
She said use you- He begins, but stops when he hears my weak voice
"Your hands in my spare time, we've got one thing in common it's this tongue of mine she said oh"
We join together
She's got a boyfriend anyway
He stops and sets his guitar down. He walks over to my bed side and kneels down. I look at him, I feel like I'm blind, I really do. All I see are orbs of color and blurred figments moving. Until my eyes focus on him.
It was Matt.
I'm weak, I can't say much more than his name.
He reaches up and kisses my forehead with his soft, plump lips.
This changed things, the little stunt I pulled.
Do I wish it worked?
I don't know. Maybe I will never know.
"Love" he says "Please don't ever do that ever ever again okay"
"Okay" I whimper.
"You lost a lot of blood and the pills you took, even though you only took 3"
How did he know that? Medical scans probably.
He continues "Were really strong. They knocked you unconscious. Oh yeah and I got really mad, so I broke my ankle kicking a rock"
I laugh.
"It's so great to hear your laugh again, babe. I miss it"
I smile.
"It hurts to see you like this. I just want you to be happy. And you know what else I want. The names of these girls and screenshots of the things they said. I'm taking your mum and dad to go talk to their parents. This ends now."
I then realised how much like a brother he is. But hes not my brother. Hes my best friend. Or is he? I don't know honestly. I think hes my best friend but in a different way than most people think. He loves me but a little more than a brother would.
The next day I was given my laptop, my phone, a piece of paper and a pencil and I took down the names and took pictures of every girl and every nasty thing they said. My parents and Matt and Matt's parents all went to every single one of the girls' houses with pictures in hand. Those girls, what happened to them? They got suspended from school for 2 weeks because most of the things posted were during school hours, they got their phones, laptops, iPads, Kindles, everything taken from them. And they were grounded for two months. They were also forced to go to the hospital and listen to my side of the story.
One girl broke down crying on the floor. Another ran out and hid in a bathroom stall, throwing up buckets. Another girl collapsed on my bed apologizing out of every open hole in her body. The last girl, She waited until everyone left and came up to me, real close to my face and her eyes were watering. She spoke in a hushed tone but her words got me the most.
"I am so sorry for what I've caused. I know how you feel, I've tried too and I just want you to know that I don't know why I did this. I wasn't thinking. And I want to make up for this in any way I can, please"
What did I say?
"You are always and completley forgiven"
She bursts into tears and left the room.
That girl's name? Stephanie. She'll reapear in my story quite soon, my dearies.
Every night for the 3 days I was in that hospital I would cry myself to sleep. But every hour there they were again to make sure I wasn't trying to strangle myself with my IV or some shit. I hated myself. I hated everyone. Everyone except Matt. Matt was the one person I could never hate, no matter what he did, I could never hate him. Or so I thought, but we'll get to that later.
Flash forward back to Matt's bedroom, three weeks after I got out of the hospital.
Let me give you a reminder of where we left off last:
I sat up, my arms at a 90 degree angle behind me holding me up while he walked over to his laptop. He double clicked and music began to quietly play from behind him
He walked back towards the bed and stared at me.
"Are you ready, love?" he asks
Want to know what happened? Want to know what I said? Well, you might just have to wait a while.
Want to know what happened now?
Well we made out and then- we cuddled and watched Star Trek.
And that's all.
Nothing more.
That's all we've ever done. That was the first time I made out with someone and then after, if you can recall what I said earlier, it was the first time I tried a joint. And the last time.
That night was the night I sorted out my priorites.
I brought my grades back up and I changed my appearance. I died my hair a dark chestnut brown and got my first tattoo. I met this great girl named Tara* and we became best friends. She loved everything I loved and did everything I did. Matt brought her in and made her feel like a part of the group.
Once I thought everything was getting better, it went all back down hill, when Matt Healy left Manchester.
**** Tara- Hey gurl(:
Thanks everyone who has been reading! I'll try and post as often as possible! Thanks again!