Chapter 4

Squidward was starting to get used to the bubbles, but there was something about them that confused him.

"Why pink?" he finally blurted out, using a copy of Interpretive Dance Quarterly to shield himself from the latest onslaught. It had been a particularly violent sneeze; Spongebob blinked in surprise, holding his head in an attempt to curb his dizziness. Tiny leftover bubbles leaked from his numerous pores. "Spongebob!"

"Uh?" Spongebob didn't turn around. Whatever was on the television had recaptured his attention.

"I said, why are they pink?"

"Who?"

"The bubbles!"

"Oh!" The tone of Spongebob's reply indicated that he, finally, understood the question. What followed, however, indicated that he didn't know the answer to it: "I don't know."

Squidward tucked the magazine under his right arm, picked up a cup of coffee in one hand and a glass of kelp juice in the other, and settled himself on what he had now come to think of as his side of the sofa. He certainly wasn't going to touch "Spongebob's side" in a hurry; just thinking about the germs was enough to make him feel queasy. He made a mental note to disinfect the cushions.

"Here," said Squidward, passing the glass to Spongebob, whose eyes were still fixed firmly on his favourite Saturday morning show, "Drink up."

He sipped at his own drink and let the magazine fall open in his lap, feeling inexplicably relaxed. The morning light was warm and streamed through the porthole windows, bathing the room in a subtle glow. On any other morning, the mere presence of Spongebob would put him in a foul mood that would linger for the rest of the day. But for some reason, this morning he was quite content to drink coffee, read about lavish costumes, ribbons and spandex body suits, half listening to the drone of the television in the background. Dare he say it, it was almost nice to share these early morning moments with somebody – even if that somebody was the usually obnoxious Spongebob.

As if on cue, the sponge suddenly gagged and spluttered, spraying kelp juice over everything within a two-foot radius. Squidward yelped and snatched up his magazine, dabbing ineffectually at the tiny specks which now adorned it. "Do you mind?"

"I'm sorry, Squidward! It's just -" Spongebob paused, shuddering. His face almost seemed to collapse in on itself. "This juice is a little … sour."

"If you don't like it, don't drink it!" Squidward replied hotly, reaching out to take the glass back, "Give it here."

"No!" Spongebob hugged the substandard beverage to his chest, not wanting to hurt his friend's feelings. "No … I'll drink it. It's probably just an acquired taste, right?" He smiled weakly up at the cephalopod, tired blue eyes full of appreciation. Squidward started to feel the pangs of sympathy all over again; even when he was sick, the little guy doted on him, desperately trying to please him, longing for his acceptance and ultimately, friendship. It was undeniably creepy. But a tiny part of him still felt guilty for all the times he'd slammed the door in his face, pushed him away, reduced him to tears.

"Squidward?" squeaked Spongebob somewhat nervously, noticing the change in his facial expression.

This was getting too awkward, not to mention highly out of character; Squidward broke eye contact, casting around for a change of subject.

"What are you watching, anyway?"

It was a good choice of question, met with much enthusiasm by the easily distracted poriferan, who jumped at the chance to rave about his favourite superheroes.

"Oh, this is a great episode, Squid! Mermaid Man just got seen by the doctor, turns out those chest pains he was having were caused by high cholesterol and now he has to alter his diet to reduce it! But here's the twist – Mermaid Man doesn't like any of the recommended foods that are low in cholesterol. Isn't that funny?" He laughed hoarsely, meeting Squidward's eyes once again, willing him to share his joy. Irritating as it was, Squidward had to admit that he was glad to hear that laugh. That the sponge was so much more talkative today was surely a sign that the illness was lifting.

"Hilarious," he replied, forcing a smile.

Spongebob beamed up at him, before settling down to watch the rest of the show. He leaned contentedly against Squidward's arm, and for the first time since they'd met, Squidward didn't throw him out of the window for doing so. He didn't even get angry about it. No, what made him angry was when Spongebob, apparently forgetting how "sour" it was, took another slurp of his drink.

Before Squidward had time to open his mouth, it was doused with second-hand kelp juice.