Chapter 4 - KAOS joins Control

Max entered Larrabee's office. He carried F3 on his shoulder. He told Seigfried that he liked to take his kitty along everywhere. He hoped Seigfried just thought she was a regular kitty. She hadn't talked, although Seigfried wouldn't be able to understand her anyway, not having a special gadget to understand her with.

Seigfried followed Max but waited in Larabee's office. Max had given him his own trench coat to wear instead of his signature leather one. Seigfried also wore a fedora pulled low over his eyes. A pair of sunglasses added to the mystique.

"Hello, Max," said the Chief, as Max entered the office. "Please have a seat. Now what's this about finding another partner? What's wrong with F3?"

"Eh, he's right outside, talking to Larrabee. Nothing wrong with F3,but I don't think you should tell him about her. He thinks she's my kitty. He's not on a case at the moment.."

F3 jumped on the Chief's desk and curled up as if sleeping.

"Who is this agent, Max?"

"Eh, it's Agent Konrad," said Max, giving Seigfried's first name. "He's from European Control."

"Why doesn't that name ring a bell, Max? I know almost every agent in European Control…"

"Eh, well, yes, Chief, this is one of the agents you don't know."

"Well, bring him in, Max."

"I can't."

"Why, Max?"

"Would you believe he doesn't speak English?"

"Max, that's a requirement to be a Control agent!"

"Would you believe he's invisible?"

"Max, what are you talking about?"

"Maybe he's a dead ringer for a KAOS agent…"

"Get him in here, Max!"

Max opened the door and motioned for Seigfried to enter. He pointed to the chair in front of the Chief's desk. Max sat down on the edge of the desk and slipped off. He picked himself up and straightened his tie.

Seigfried was sitting quietly in the chair. The Chief looked at Max and sighed.

"Max, this is Agent Konrad all right…" his voice rose in anger…"Agent Konrad Seigfried of KAOS!"

Max smiled. "How did you guess?"

"It's no guess, Max, he looks exactly like Seigfried! What's going on here?"

"Eh, well, you see, Seigfried wants to join Control, and we thought, since 99 is out of town that we could team up as partners…"

The Chief looked directly at Seigfried. "You tried that once before, Seigfried! Take off those sunglasses!"

Seigfried removed the sunglasses and the hat. He smiled.

"Herr Chief, you are most observant. But I am most serious vhen I tell you I vant to join Control. It's such a nice organization. Just so full of niceness and goodness and all the other…" he started to gag at the idea of niceness and goodness.

"Seigfried, what do you want from us?"

"Vell, Chief, I vill get down to business here. Vaht I really vant is my job back at KAOS. Shtarker iss planning to capture all Control agents, but if he does zat, zere vill be no reason for us to exist and KAOS vill go out of business!"

The Chief looked thoughtful. "You have a point, Seigfried. So let me get this straight. All you want is to get your job back. And you want to join Control and team up with Max to get rid of Shtarker to make that happen. And what do we get out of this agreement, Seigfried?"

"I promise not to kill you right here und now!"

"Siggy," said Max, as he lit the wrong end of his cigarette, "I took all your weapons off of you at my apartment." He looked at the cigarette and made a face. He stubbed it out and lit another.

"Ja, zis is correct," said Seigfried. "Vell, vhen I get zem back, I von't kill you. It's a promise…Haff you effer known me to go back on a promise, Maxie?"

Max started counting silently on his fingers and started to take off his shoes to use his toes.

"Okay, okay, I haff gone back on my promises…vhat can I say to prove to you zat I am serious zis time?"

The Chief and Max looked at each other thoughtfully. They were silent for a few minutes. Finally Max said, "Chief, if we have him take the temporary Control Agent oath of allegiance, surely he won't be able to go back on that…and we know he won't be a double agent."

"How do we know that, Max?"

"Well, Chief, it's really very simple. You see, Seigfried can't be a double agent because if he is a Control Agent, and he used to be a KAOS agent, and he really wants to be a KAOS agent again, well, that's not a double agent, he couldn't be a double agent because it's more like a triple agent or make that a quadruple agent…" Max's voice trailed off and he mouthed some of the words soundlessly as he tried to figure it out himself. He squinted his eyes and they crossed a little bit.

The Chief was looking a little irritated with Max's weird double talk. Seigfried wondered if Max were still speaking English.

"All right, Max," said the Chief. "I'll administer the oath. Then I want to hear how you are going to capture Shtarker."

The Chief administered the official Control oath for Temporary Agents. It would expire at the end of the mission.

"All right Max, how are you going to capture Shtarker?"

"Eh, well, yes…" Max was hedging. He didn't have any ideas.

The Chief turned to Seigfried. "Seigfried?"

"I agree vith Schmardt."

"He didn't say anything, Seigfried!"

"Vell, vhen ve get zere, ve come up vith ideas."

"Do you think you need a disguise, Max?"

"Chief, what if Siegfried disguises himself as me and I disguise myself as Seigfried?"

The Chief rolled his eyes. "Max, why don't you go over to the disguise department and let the experts think of something?"

"Okey-dokey," said Max, cheerfully. "Let's go, Seigfried." They walked out forgetting F3.

"F3," said the Chief, as she stood up on the desk and stretched, "Keep an eye on those two. I don't trust Seigfried and Max, well, just keep an eye on him too." She nodded, gave him a head bump, jumped off the desk and followed the two agents at a discrete distance.