[Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Fairy Tail world, which is trademarked by Hiro Mashima.]

Next one to update will be The Darkness Within. I'm so glad I started this one. Writing is a joy again. I'm really enjoying myself with this story as a whole. Are you? .M.

"I take no joy in mead nor meat, and song and laughter have become suspicious strangers to me. I am a creature of grief and dust and bitter longings. There is an empty place within me where my heart once was."

- George R.R. Martin [A Song of Ice and Fire] -

.04. The Question

His mind was a jumble of thoughts, questions, and concerns as he made his way to camp. He wasn't sure why he didn't want to share any of it with Happy. He determined it was because he didn't want his young blue friend worrying over something that didn't make any sense. There really wasn't any reason why the exceed needed know there was something amiss regarding the celestial mage. When they had left Magnolia without a word to Lucy, Happy had mentioned there was a possibility Lucy wouldn't be all that pleased. Telling him would have only resulted in a slew of "I told you so" statements in every shape and form, and Natsu told himself he just didn't want to deal with the exceed's know-it-all attitude. But ultimately, the dragon slayer knew it was because he was a little frightened Loke's unspoken sentiment was true – that his arrival would only make Lucy unhappy, or worse, make her cry. So, he hid all of it behind a wide grin as he chatted with happy about seeing their guildmates again. As he always did, Happy worked himself up with such excitement that he crashed soon after, and Natsu slipped away from camp to find solace in her presence.

He made his way through the city quickly, hidden in the shadows as he leapt quietly from rooftop to rooftop until he reached the building across from her apartment. The air around her building was filled with her scent, the subtle sweetness that he liked to think originated from the core of her personality. He rested flat on his stomach against the wooden shake shingles, his head peeking over the ridge of the rooftop. He kept his head of pink covered by the hood of his cloak so that he could blend easily into the chimney shadow casted by the bright moonlight. Finding the right apartment didn't take long; the soft pink décor was easy enough to spot through the large colonial arch shaped windows.

She was next to the last window, seated in front of her slightly beat-up desk with a soft desk lamp lighting the surface on which she wrote. Her head was bent down as her hand moved steadily over the tanned parchment, and Natsu couldn't help by smile as he watched her. From his perch atop her neighbour's roof, he could almost see the strokes of her handwriting as her letters connected in the swirls and curves of her delicate penmanship. She paused and turned her head to look out the window by her side.

Instinct had him pressing himself closer to the rooftop and deeper into the shadow. Like ninja.

Natsu watched the expressions she wore openly on her face as she stared up at the sky to watch the clouds move. There was a flash of sadness that made his heart heavy. When she finished writing, he watched her fold the parchment, slip it into an envelope with care, and write the date on the exterior. Then, he watched as the blonde lifted the envelope to press it to her lips as she closed her eyes. Natsu had caught the stray tear that slid along the curve of her cheek to linger at her jawline before it dropped.

There was a desire to reach out and hold her in that moment, as he had always done whenever she cried. Loke's unspoken threat – albeit pathetically weak and wholly unjustified, Natsu determined – replayed itself in the dragon slayer's head as he stared through her window.

"Coward! You come slinking back like a snake in the reeds! I know why you're back, and I won't allow it! Stay away from Lucy, Natsu! After everything she's gone through, I will not let you ruin her happiness."

"Stupid cat," Natsu grumbled under an irritable breath. "What the hell does he know?" The dragon slayer was her partner. Despite their time apart, he was certain the very title meant he knew Lucy better than anyone. Ruin the celestial mage's happiness? The very idea had him scoffing. He would never do anything to make her cry; she'd be ecstatic to see him after all this time. Natsu was very certain of it. Lucy was always happy to see him, even if she said otherwise. He knew because he saw it in her eyes every single time. Through all the screeching and "Lucy kicks!", he had seen that shimmer of joy whenever their eyes met. Clearly, Loke had no idea what he was saying.

Nevertheless, doubt had Natsu hesitating as his eyes watched her closely with her fingers lightly tightened around the edges of the envelope in her hands. They trembled as if she was trying desperately to keep herself from crushing the letter in her grasp.

His eyes followed Lucy as she stood to slip the envelope into the box on the topmost shelf of her desk hutch. She wiped the tear trail from her face and stretched her arms high above her head, pulling the baby blue camisole up along her abdomen to reveal the curve of her waistline between her camisole and the matching shorts, before reaching under the lampshade to turn it off. A faint glow of moonlight peeked through the moving clouds to light her way, and the celestial mage walked along the windowed wall to what Natsu assumed was her bedroom.

Natsu pulled himself onto the ridge to sit and stared up at the sky. Clouds had moved in to put an end to the clear sky, not that he had been able to see any stars at all that night – the moon was just too bright. There was an uneasy rumbling in the very pit of his stomach when his eyes settled back on the abandoned desk by the window and the whole confrontation with Loke replayed itself for the hundredth time that night. Loke's fury was directed specifically at him, so much so that Natsu felt unadulterated loathing vibrating in the magic that made the spirit's punches sting. The look in Virgo's eyes carried the same weight of animosity. The pinkette couldn't help but wonder exactly what Lucy had gone through to make the celestial spirits unreasonably protective of her, especially from him.

Natsu growled with irritation and he scratched his head a little vigorously to shake off the phantom sensation that he was missing something incredibly important. He really didn't like being confused, especially over something as simple as his partnership with Lucy. What he needed to do was see her because that would prove to Loke he was wrong and just an overdramatic jerk. Then, Natsu would get to punch him and then he'd get the proverbial monkey off his damn back.

Grasping the ridge with one hand, he threw his body over the rooftop and lightly landed on the cobblestone road below. There was a soft thud as the balls of his feet made contact, and he let his knees ease into the impact as he remained in a kneeling position. His eyes glanced left to right quickly. The streets were clear, and he walked quietly to her apartment building. The soft pink curtain edges swayed over the stone sill of her open window. He closed his eyes as a summer breeze carried her sweet scent to him. It eased the tension in his muscles to draw up a peaceful smile to his lips.

Home.

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, almost dancing on the balls of his feet as he stared up at his destination. Briefly, he forgot all about Loke and his words, forgot about the relentless questioning that kept his brain busier than normal, and forgot about the loneliness that plagued him at every corner. Excitement threatened to bubble over as his body pulled at the muscle memory. How many times did he jump up into her apartment in Magnolia? Too many to count.

He leapt high into the air, the strength of his jump carrying him easily through the air. His callous fingers caught the stone sill easily before gravity took over to bring him back down to the earth below. Natsu pulled himself up to squat and pushed one curtain panel to side with the hand that didn't grip the sill. His body relaxed as her scent surrounded him, and he relished as the concentration of honey and vanilla surrounded him. Tilting his head slightly to the side, he peered at the lump under the recognizable pink duvet. She was hidden under the top of her soft duvet, golden strands spread over the pillow. His hand reached out before he could stop it and lifted the bedding enough to see her face.

Cooler air had her stirring slightly, but she didn't wake. Her body shifted as she buried her nose deeper into her pillow, inhaling deeply before she exhaled a longing sigh with a near inaudible mumble.

Natsu blinked once – twice – as the words tumbled so easily from her lips like an earnest prayer. It was said so softly that had it not been for his enhanced dragon slayer hearing, he was sure he would have dismissed it as random sleep-induced mumbling. Her tone, filled with an emotion he couldn't quite place, made his brows furrow in confusion. A new emotion moved through him, a deep and earnest yearning to touch her skin took over easily. His hand dropped the blanket gently on her bare shoulder and reached out to caress her exposed cheek when movement in her bed stalled him.

How had he missed the other lump in the bed with her?

His hand snapped back to rest on his knee, eyes widening as an arm hidden under her pillow snaked its way around from under her shoulder to rest over her heart. The duvet moved as a limb under the covers slinked around her waist and pulled the celestial mage from the window and, seemingly, away from him. The dragon slayer narrowed his eyes at the mess of white hair that revealed itself from under her bedding. He watched, eye twitching, as the man he recognized as Shirou nuzzled his nose into the nape of her neck and inhaled deeply. Natsu grinded his teeth together as the man nipped at the soft skin lightly before the tip of his tongue darted out to lick her neck and nuzzled his nose into her again.

He was about ready to yank Shirou from the comforts of his partner's bed when her soft contented sigh stopped him. Natsu watched as her head dipped to kiss the arm under her head and her entire body sank back into his embrace. In that moment, he realized he really didn't want to be anywhere near whatever this was. It made his chest hurt.

Without a second thought, the pinkette dropped unceremoniously from her window sill, his feet heavy at the impact. Natsu stared up at the window and clutched at his chest, rubbing small circles with his palm deeply into the muscle that covered his heart. He grumbled; his chest was really hurting a lot these days. Sparing one last look up at Lucy's window, his lips formed a thin line. He could have sworn he had heard her so clearly. Nestled in the comforters of her bed, before she was pulled away from whatever weird dream she was having, Natsu was sure Lucy had clearly called out for him. "Natsu, please…"

. . .

He was happy to have been able to convince the blue exceed to stay at camp because he was sure there was no way he could have handled his feline-ish friend at the moment. Happy had a knack of being annoying, and Natsu was sure that this whole weird situation with Lucy would mean some sort of smartass comment from the exceed. There was no way to avoid it.

He was finding his patience already thin from the constant ache that made his chest and head hurt. It must have been the lack of sleep that had him on edge the moment he awoke that morning. After a night of tossing and turning on the hard ground, the pinkette decided that his current predicament was a direct result of the stranger who had somehow attached himself to his partner. He determined there and then that he was going to find out who exactly this Shirou guy was because everyone – and the dragon slayer did mean everyone – knew that Lucy had a knack of just meeting the wrong people. The woman was just a magnet for them. So if experience told Natsu anything, it was that this white haired man was trouble for the celestial mage.

Natsu hunched into himself as he leaned his back against the trunk of the tree. Crossing his arms and burying his nose into his white scale-covered scarf, the dragon slayer narrowed his eyes at the man who moved around Lucy as he tried to land a punch on the celestial mage.

"Ooof!" she huffed as she fell flat onto her back. Lucy rolled out of the way as the heel of his foot descended upon her, and she heard it land with a hard smack against the dry dirt where her stomach used to be. Lucy jumped quickly as he closed the short distance between them with one long stride. She planted her feet as he sent a fist towards her chin. Her hands gripped his wrist as it neared and spun adeptly under his stretched arm to twist it behind his back. She pushed his wrist deep into his muscles as she pulled on the limb to reach up his back until she felt him struggle with the stretch. "Relent!" she ordered once she was sure of her hold. A small grin graced her lips as he flinched and lowered to her height as he tried to ease the pull on his shoulder and arm.

Shirou released a gasping laugh through the pain. "Now why the hell would I do that when I've got you where I want you?"

She released an airy laugh and pulled on his wrist a little more. "I think I've knocked your head around once too many today," Lucy teased.

The white haired man huffed as he turned his body towards her. His momentum forced her to step back, and in her haste she didn't notice how he had slid his foot behind her easily. Her tight hold on his wrist was gone the moment she fell back to the earth, and Shirou brought the knee to press lightly onto her heaving chest. "Told you," he returned, a light teasing tone in his voice as he grinned widely at her.

Lucy puffed her cheeks out in irritation as she threw both her hands up in surrender. Letting her head fall back against the hard soil, she grumbled. "You win this round."

Shirou laughed as he fell to sit next to her. "Oh don't be like that," he nudged her leg with his foot. "You were distracted. I wouldn't have stood a chance otherwise."

"I was not distracted," she muttered as she closed her eyes.

He sighed and leaned his head over her. Looking at her, he couldn't help but smile. The woman was beautiful. "Lucy, look at me." Shirou watched as she took a deep breath before opening her eyes. They stared at each other in silence and Shirou felt the familiar pull of his emotions as he leaned down to kiss her gently.

Natsu didn't know exactly what made him do it, but his hand shot up and gripped the branch above him. Before he could even fathom what he was doing, his hand tightened its hold around the large branch and snapped it clean off the tree. Splinters rained over the dragon slayer as he growled deeply into the fabric of his scarf. He snickered as the two separated at the sound and searched the tree line for the source.

Her brow was furrowed as her eyes locked onto the movement of a majestic oak just beyond the edge of the little clearing. Lucy inhaled deeply, the faint scent of burning wood filling her nostrils. Narrowing her eyes, she tried to look between the gaps of the foliage. Was that… pink? Clearly her senses were just playing a trick on her – a really cruel trick.

Shirou stood up, dusted his pants clean, and offered his hand to the woman who was still searching the forest around them. "Lucy?" he called out to her. The sound of her name on his lips snapped her out of her thoughts. When her soft brown eyes stared up at him, he smiled. "I made an early dinner reservation. I thought we could enjoy one quiet night before the Games start tomorrow, and we're both too busy to enjoy ourselves."

Lucy chuckled lightly as her hand found its way into his grasp. The strong pull of his hand had her falling straight into his arms.

"I love you, you know that?" Lucy only smiled timidly at his words, and Shirou lowered his head to let their lips meet once more. Taking a deep breath, he parted to find her eyes still closed and a happy smile on her lips. The very sight of it had his heart fluttering. "Come on."

I love you. Shirou's words repeated itself over and over in the Natsu's mind. I love you. He watched as Lucy walked hand-in-hand with Shirou from the clearing. She lingered a step behind to look at the oak behind her. Lucy's eyes lingered on the tree in which he stayed hidden and her lips parted slightly as if she was about to speak. The expression on her face made Natsu tightly gripping the branch in his hand. The mixture of wistfulness and anticipation on her face had the dragon slayer's body aching to leap out of the tree. Although he was certain she didn't see him, his eyes met hers and Natsu made himself believe that in that very instance, Lucy knew he was there.

Lucy turned her back to him and allowed Shirou to pull her back to Crocus.

Natsu lingered in the tree until he was sure they were gone before leaping off the tree to land loudly on the ground below. His fingers gripped at the branch he had broken, and the heat of his hands burnt into the wood before he tossed it to the side. Quietly, he trudged back to camp as he tugged grumpily at his scarf. Loke's irritating voice replayed itself in his head.

"You asked who I am? I was and will forever be her knight. I was here. What you should be asking yourself, Natsu, is who are you?"

He growled and kicked a bolder like it was pebble. Natsu watched it fly several meters, crushing trees along its path. The irritating and perverted celestial spirit was her protector, and to his ever developing chagrin, the white haired guy was obviously her suitor. Lucy had clearly made a new life for herself – a life without Fairy Tail. It was a life without him. He scowled. There was a growing necessity to punch something and that damn ache in his chest was really starting to make him want to set something, anything, on fire.

He rubbed his chest as his brain tried to claw desperately at the torrent of emotions and thoughts that made everything hurt. He had been so lonely during his year away from Fairy Tail. Natsu clenched his fists. He had left to find strength. Igneel's death had been the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. It was in that moment he came to acknowledge just how far he had fallen behind on his training. He was weak, too weak to protect everyone who was dear to him, so he disappeared into the world to grieve in the only way he knew how – by making himself stronger. He had hoped that being away from the distraction and the place where he had failed to help his father, he would have found the peace he so desperately craved – a long desired quiet from the sorrow and the loneliness that plagued him for as long as he could remember.

It was a loneliness that only started to ease around Lucy, and he realized that it had happened from the moment he had grabbed her soft slender hand and ran off with her back to Fairy Tail. It disappeared slowly with her weirdness and her gentle caring smile and her bottomless forgiving heart. Unable to handle the rush of emotions, Natsu planted his feet and tilted his head back as he roared loudly into the sky above him. The sound disappeared into the foliage as his lungs released the burst of flames and heat.

He felt his ache fuel the flames until his lungs begged for oxygen. Spent, he plopped on the charred earth and glanced around at the blackened forest around him. He could almost hear it – that shrill lecture of hers about his overly destructive tendencies. It made him chuckle darkly. He imagined her red face as she went on about how he had to control himself. It would be like it always was, only this time she would run back into Shirou's arms instead of sparing Natsu another glance. The very imagine had him finally putting the words to the emotions that scared him the moment he saw her in Shirou's arms. Where exactly did he fit in her new life?

"Fuck," he grumbled grumpily as he gripped the loose fabric of his pants. And, he finally asked, "Who am I to her now?"

Guest: That is definitely a thought! Thanks for the input. Your suggestion is really close to what I'm envisioning, and your take on it has me shifting things around a little. Thank you! I love feedback like yours because it's so helpful!