REhi everyone...ready for the next chapter...cuz i KNOW that you are...lol...thanks so much for the encouraging notes and comments...and thanks also to all those who took the time to read my story...questions or comments...well...you know how to find me :P and ya...the rights to these characters are NOT mine...anyway...enjoy...
Chapter Four
There, Shizuru thought to herself as she slid the door closed behind her. I've done what I can do for Miss Kikukawa and Miss Suzushiro. The rest is up to them. It had been the first time she'd seen either girl since Carnival Night. And even though she felt she had nothing left inside her, Shizuru had somehow managed to give the girls what she felt they needed...or would need some day. A sense of closure. A chance to face the person who had wrecked such havoc in their lives.
As her feet headed automatically down the hall towards the stairs, the girl's memory pushed thoughts of that horrible night back into Shizuru's mind. Memories that contained the darkness which now dwelt inside her soul. Memories that no matter how hard she fought to forget them, continued to plague and torture her without mercy.
Wishing she could hold off the impending onslaught of pain the memories brought with them, Shizuru knew from experience that it was nothing more than an empty wish. There was nothing she could do to prevent it. This was something she had been living with since the end of Carnival Night. She accepted the fact that the anguish these memories brought were nothing more than justifiable payment for the many sins she'd committed in her self-righteous rampage. Each memory, an ungentle reminder of her ultimate failure.
She felt her skin break out in a cold sweat...her stomach cramping. The pain that awakened in her head pounded inside her mind as if trying to break free from a prison. Each palpitating throb of misery bringing with it a memory, a mental slideshow reminding her...never letting her forget...that she was to blame...she was the darkness inside her soul, manifest.
Pain! The memory of her child Kiohime defeating Yukino's child Diana. The memory of the devastating destruction she had meted out on the First District headquarters and the lives she'd either taken, or left in ruins. Pain! The memory of the battle her child and Kuga's child Duran had waged right here on the Fuuka campus grounds as she had selfishly tried to forcibly take that which was not hers...Natsuki's love. Pain! The memory of the look of horror on the faces of the two defeated HIMES as she stared into their eyes at the very moment when they felt the searing agony of separation ripping apart their hearts as their loved ones were taken away from them.
The memory of her own pain...kneeling in the church amidst the ruins she had created, holding the person she loved most in this world in her arms as that person confessed her love to her in a breathless whisper before ordering Duran to launch the shot that would destroy them both. The memory of a sensation...the feelings she had experienced upon the death of Kuga's child as she was ripped away from the person who held her dearest. The impression of a million pinpricks raining down upon her skin as Duran vanished into nothingness, taking her soul with him. The sense of being stretched thin...thinner...stretched out between reality and unreality...stretched paper thin until she could no longer feel the soul inside her body. The memory of her last moments holding Natsuki in arms gone suddenly numb, clinging to the girl as she struggled to hold onto the last vestiges of her own life. The chilling sensation of her soul inexplicably being transferred into a container that was not her body. And as she felt the last ephemeral bit of her soul torn away from the tangible being that once was her body...she remembered watching, as if from behind some cloudy mirror, the shell of that now empty Shizuru Fujino fade away into a metaphysical shattering of light and screaming silence until there was nothing left...nothing left...but a faint memory of who she was...
Shuddering uncontrollably, she paused for a moment, resting the palm of one hand against the wall and took several deep breaths. I was responsible for the destruction of three of the HIMEs powers. Four if I count my own child. I was the demon who ripped their loved ones from this world and justified all the pain and destruction of that night on the fact that what I did...I did in order to protect Natsuki. She almost choked as the irony of that situation struck her like a physical blow. In her blind desire to protect Natsuki Kuga, SHE had ultimately ended up being the one who had destroyed the one thing she fought so hard to protect.
A muffled sound of laughter suddenly pierced the fog of her memories and she pushed away from the wall she had somehow ended up leaning against...her hands reaching up to tug on the ends of her neck scarf in an unselfconscious habit she had when nervous. "Baka!" she admonished herself in a low voice. You wanted to get out of here without running into any more people and yet here you stand like an idiot. Not smart Fujino, she finished, striding towards the stairs again in a concentrated effort not to break into a run!
She rounded the corner to the stairs, and was about to allow herself a sigh of relief, but pulled up short as her eyes widened in irritated panic. There on the landing leading down the two flights of stairs to the doors opening onto the parking lot stood the group of girls Shizuru had been planning on avoiding at all costs. They stood in their usual cluster...chatting amiably with one another or peck-peck-pecking at their cell phones like little chickens in the yard as they texted other friends. It was obvious they were all just biding their time until Shizuru finished up in the Student Council Room. They planned to be waiting for her so they could accompany her to wherever she next needed to go.
Like a roving band of social bodyguards, Shizuru growled to herself. Damn them all! She threw herself back around the corner of the stairway landing, pressing her back up against the cool wall. Think! Think Shizuru! she ordered herself, squeezing the bridge of her nose with two fingers as she closed her eyes. Where is another way out of this damnable building? Going over the layout of the building in her mind, she mentally scanned her memory for an alternate escape route. Frowning in concentration, she was on the verge of just giving up and accepting the fact that she'd have to face her fangirls again...when a chime went off in her mind. Whipping her head around with a small smile...she immediately set course for the Art Department at the far end of the west wing of the building. There...if memory served her correctly, she would find a set of little used emergency stairs.
Not a very ladylike method of getting out of the building...shinnying down a fire escape dressed in a skirt...she reprimanded herself. But desperation was the mother of invention. She would get over the small humiliation.
Twice along her route to the emergency exit her ears caught the sound of approaching feet or the words of muted conversation, forcing the girl to slip inside one of the empty classrooms to avoid detection. There she would remain until she felt safe to venture back out again...silently laughing to herself at the madness of her predicament. The President of the Student Council skulking about the darkened classrooms like some common criminal. Well...EX president now, she corrected herself as she deftly slipped from the classroom she'd taken refuge in and continued her trek to the Art Department.
The last time she'd been forced to duck into a classroom and hide, she'd wasted twenty minutes at LEAST listening to two young men's conversation about a middle school student named Juliete who was rumored to be the hottest action at Fuuka Academy. Nao, Shizuru mused, trying not to follow the thread of conversation from the boys standing right outside the closed door. To her amused chagrin, Shizuru learned more about Nao's 'dating' habits in that twenty minutes than she ever cared to know. Her impatience at being detained by such an inane thing was wearing thin and her hand was on the door in preparation of opening it and just simply walking past the two gossips when mercifully, their voices moved on down the hallway, still chatting about Nao.
The girl heaved a sigh of relief as she checked to make sure the hallway was clear before venturing out of her hiding place. Lowering her eyes, she watched her feet moving swiftly down the hall, the soles of her shoes whispering softly against the recently polished wood of the floors, senses on alert as she kept her guard up for any sign that would send her scurrying for cover again.
Student council president, respected member of Fuuka Academy's debate team, this year's graduating classes' valedictorian...slinking down the hall of my own alma mater like some frightened field mouse, she lectured herself. But this self admonition did not slow her gait down in the least. In fact, as soon as she spotted the red emergency exit sign plastered on the wall at the end of the hall, she broke into an almost run...the smell of cleaning solutions hanging thick in this part of the hall as if someone had just recently finished cleaning the area.
She said a small prayer of thanks as her fingers made contact with the cool metal of the door handle leading out onto the set of emergency stairs. She'd made it! She had reached her intended destination without being spotted. Licking her dry lips, she gave the handle a sharp tug and was instantly grateful to feel it open. This was not an average school term day, and she had been apprehensive that the door might not be unlocked. Her evident relief at discovering it open almost made her smile. Pulling open the heavy wooden door that lead to her salvation, she stepped out into a brilliant blast of sunlight that immediately warmed her face. An accompanying cool breeze ruffled her long hair as she gratefully closed the door behind her.
"Shizuru?" a familiar voice asked from behind her, catching the girl off guard, causing her to jump...making a surprised squeaking sound in the process.
Field mouse inDEED! she affirmed, her recent comparison of herself to the small, cowardly animal proving true once again. She quickly regained her composure and slowly turned around to face the owner of the voice which had greeted her.
Two pair of curious eyes were watching her as she stepped away from the door, hands clasped in front of her. Mai Tokiha and Yuuichi Tate were both perched on the top landing of the steps leading down into the parking lot, a yellow and black bento box sitting open between the two students. Their chopsticks were comically poised in surprise as they gaped at the lunch break intruder.
Grasping the bottom of her uniform jacket and tugging sharply in an effort to calm herself, Shizuru managed to dredge up an apologetic smile in the way of a greeting. "Well hello there Miss Tokiha. Mr Tate. What a shock finding you two out here."
The young man's sharp brown eyes held hers a moment before returning her greeting. "Fujino," he responded affably before returning to his lunch.
Mai Tokiha's cool blue eyes smiled in genuine happiness as she replied smoothly, "I could say the same to you Shizuru. You're the last person I'd ever expect to find out here." She laid her chopsticks across the top of the bento box before climbing to her feet. "Who you hiding from? Haruka? Or your throng of fangirls?" The girl broke into a peal of merry laughter, enjoying her little tease.
"I..." began Shizuru. But she halted in mid sentence. It was just too absurd to try and justify a lie in order to cover up the real reason she was out there. Besides, this girl was sharp. She would see right through any contrivance that might be offered. Instead, Shizuru opted for the simple truth of the matter. "You're right, Miss Tokiha. I'm trying to get out of here without running into anyone else today. I'm a bit worn out from the last few weeks, what with graduation and all," she simplified, not wanting to make this a big production. "And I just wanted to...slip in and slip out again with as little fanfare and ado that I could possibly get away with."
Mai laughed before replying, "That's understandable. I'm sure you've had a lot on your mind lately," while Tate responded with "Kinda hard to accomplish that when you're Miss Fuuka Academy, huh?"
"Right on both counts," Shizuru agreed congenially, trying to determine how much longer she would be forced to talk to these two before excusing herself. There were limits to just how far she would go in breaking her self-instilled code of etiquette.
"I hear you'll be headed to Fuuka University this semester," Tate commented around a mouthful of food. "That must be very exciting. I know I can't wait to get outta here and into university."
"HEY!" Mai countered, whacking him in the back of the head with a mock frown. "So ready to get away from me after all we went through in order to be together, huh? Well FINE then Mr. Tate. I wish you good fortune and good riddance!" The love in her eyes gave the lie to her words. She knew that this young man wanted nothing so much as to be by her side. All his teasing aside.
Tate laughed at Mai's feigned scowl before turning his attention onto the other girl, firing off a series of questions aimed at Shizuru. "So, Fujino. What do you plan on studying at university? Got a career path goal set? Are you intending to run for a student government position at university?"
While Shizuru was busy answering Tate's many queries, Mai took a moment to study the girl standing before her. She hadn't really been afforded many opportunities to spend time with this young woman throughout the past school year. This girl that one of her best friends felt so strongly for. So she took the advantage to study her a bit closer.
She really is beautiful, Mai admitted to herself, watching the sunlight catch the lighter, almost blonde shades of Shizuru's chestnut colored hair...making it seem as if made from spun gold. Her crimson colored eyes were sharp...intelligent...and held a mysterious gleam that caused Mai to shiver. She was the epitome of a classic beauty; surrounded by a halo of almost palpable self confidence and poise. And yet... Mai frowned. Something about the girl was...off. She watched Shizuru as she offered up answers in response to Yuuichi's questions..the way she held her head when listening...the way she covered her mouth as she laughed politely at some witticism from Tate. She had all the right moves...all the correct answers...and yet...something was not right. It was as if she were watching an 'ideal' of who Shizuru was portraying and not the girl herself. It was confusing even for Mai to contemplate but the simple fact remained that...something about Shizuru was just off. Whatever it was sent an icy finger of apprehension running up Mai's arms and down her spine causing her to shiver.
You're just being silly, Tokiha, she scolded herself. Stop being the busy body, goody two-shoes, butt-insky that Nao accused you of being. She bit her bottom lip and frowned, still trying to put her finger on the cause of her anxiety. I'm sure it's as she claims. She's just worn out and frazzled from all that's happened lately. The sound of a familiar name drew Mai's attention back to the flow of conversation.
"Yeah. Takumi is doing great. Right Mai?" Yuuichi asked loudly, trying to garner the girl's attention which had been focused someplace else. She'd left him holding the reigns of the conversation as she'd went unashamedly MIA...losing herself in her own thoughts. He was done making small talk and ready to get back to his lunch.
"What?" Mai mumbled absently, leaving behind the mystery of what seemed wrong with Shizuru and refocusing on Tate's question. "Oh..right. Yes. Takumi. He's recovering nicely from the surgery. Akira and several members of her family who reside in the states are with him. He's already relocated from the hospital to the Okazaki home, going back only once a week for his therapy sessions. The doctor has given him a tentative clearance to return to school in another month." The girl's love for her brother was evident in every word she said and with the enthusiasm she exhibited when talking about his return. The tears in her blue eyes only added more evidence to the depth of devotion she felt for her absent brother.
"Oh but that's wonderful news," Shizuru replied, placing a comforting hand on Mai's shoulder. "I'm so thrilled for him. And you as well Mai. I can see how much you miss him."
"Yeah. I do. I miss him more than I ever thought I would," the orange haired girl admitted honestly.
Shizuru saw the young man's hand reach up and slide into Mai's, giving her fingers a gentle, reassuring squeeze. She had heard from Natsuki the story surrounding Mai and Tate's relationship. The heartache and pain they'd both endured in order to be together was the stuff of fairy tales. And as she watched Mai give the boy a secret smile that caused him to roll his eyes and blush...she was suddenly hit with an inexplicable desire to get away from them...to distance herself from this school...from old responsibilities and unhealed wounds.
"Well. Please accept my prayers for your brother's speedy recovery. I'm sure he will make a wonderful Vice-president." Shizuru finished hurriedly.
"That he will," Tate affirmed, smiling up at Mai. "He has a wonderful sister watching out for him. How could he NOT be anything but...great?"
Mai blushed prettily and grinned at the back of the boy's head...who had returned his attention back to his lunch. He immediately began attacking the neatly arranged items in the box with renewed enthusiasm.
"Thank you...Shizuru," Mai replied simply but sincerely. "You're very kind."
"More honest than kind," corrected the other girl, ready for an end to this conversation. "Well then. I'll leave you two to the enjoyment of your lunch. I've intruded on your time more than enough. I hope to..." Here she paused, as she realized that what she intended to say and the reality of that statement were contradictory. But etiquette and good manners had always been a shield for Shizuru's feelings. So she finished the lie with another false smile. "I hope to see you both again soon. You are a lovely couple." And with those parting words, the girl moved forward and stepped past Yuuichi's position on the top step and started her descent into the parking lot two floors below.
As Mai beamed at the compliment Shizuru had made about what a great couple she and Tate made, a sudden thought flared in her mind and she shouted, "Hey! Shizuru. That reminds me. Did you see Kuga?"
Glancing at the girl's expectant eyes, Shizuru shook her head. "No. Unfortunately our schedules did not coincide today. And I just didn't have the time to go searching for her. Knowing that girl, I'm sure she managed to avoid the brunt of the cleaning duties today by hiding herself away until everything was finished. I think I could spend the rest of the day searching and still never find her...unless she wanted to be found." She was rambling uncontrollably, she realized shamefully. The question had caught her unawares. The truth was, she had hoped to avoid a chance encounter with the girl. She had a few more things that needed her attention before tonight's dinner date. And then...THEN...she would be prepared to see Natsuki. But, of course, Mai didn't know this. So she must pretend to be disappointed at not seeing the girl today. Lies seemed to fall easier and easier from her mouth nowadays, Shizuru noted sadly. Just another facet of the mask she wore.
"I'll just have to content myself with the fact that I'll be seeing her later on in the evening. It was good to hear that she showed up today though. I had harbored my doubts on that at first." Smiling, she said a second goodbye to the pair on the stairs. "Tate. Mai. Take care you..." she began, raising her hand in a final farewell.
"Wait!" shouted an exuberant Mai, grabbing hold of Shizuru's raised hand. In her sudden snatch at the other girl's hand, her knee hit the boy in the small of the back causing him to curse under his breath as the octopus shaped sausage trapped between his chopsticks and on the way towards his mouth went flying.
"Was there something else Miss Tokiha?" questioned Shizuru, irritation growing at her inability to extricate herself from the conversation.
"Only this!" the girl replied with a knowing smile. "You don't have to go looking for Natsuki at all. It just so happens that I KNOW where the laze-about is lurking. She's in the art room right beside this exit. I'm sure she'd be delighted to see you. Lucky you found us out here today, huh?" the girl finished happily.
"Yes," Shizuru responded dryly. "Lucky me."
"We just finished our cleaning assignment up here and she didn't want to come out here with Tate and me for lunch."
"More for me," the yellow haired boy grumped around a mouthful of food.
"Anyway," continued Mai, ignoring her boyfriend's comment, "Do me a favor, kay? Be sure to tell her that I'm still waiting on an answer." Laughing, Mai plopped down beside Yuuichi and pushed the broccoli floret clutched between his chopsticks into her mouth. "She'll know what you're talking about." Laughing softly to herself, the girl picked up her discarded chopsticks and grabbed another piece of broccoli...stuffing it into Tate's mouth as he was cursing her for stealing his bite.