The book never left my face all night. If the author of this book was somewhat "improving" after what he had been through, there was hope for me, right? I read until I fell asleep, my bedroom light still on.

The more I had read about Parker, the more that I wanted him. There had been one point in the story where he had broken down beside Avery's hospital bed, begging her not to leave him. Parker had never given up for one moment. He was determined to somehow talk Avery out of her coma. He wasn't willing to let her go. I imagined a love so passionate that someone would be willing to sit by a vegetable and beg favors from it. It didn't seem possible.

The book made me wonder what the author had been through. Edward had said that the guy had put some of his own past, his own emotions into Parker's character. What had happened to this mystery guy's Avery? And Edward had said that this guy was improving. Did that mean that his Avery was waking up?

I fell asleep with these thoughts running through my mind as I read page after page. Because of that I had the most bizarre of dreams.

I couldn't feel my body. It was limp and wouldn't move to my commands. The world around me was dark, but it didn't matter. My eyes refused to open anyway. But I heard beeping, and the whirring of machines. A few moments later, the sound of a heavy bag dropping to the ground reached my ears, followed by the screeching of a chair pulling up next to me.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Bella. I forgot to tell you I was working overtime today," a strange voice began.

I recognized the beginning of this monologue. It was from the book. I was in Avery's place, only Parker had addressed me as Bella, not Avery.

"I feel like I've really let you down. There's not much that you're gaining from this. The doctors, they say that talking to a coma patient triggers brain activity, but...I've been sitting here for who knows how long and I can't see you getting better... I'm sorry. I wish I could do more for you, but I don't know what...

"At least the doctors are keeping you alive. I feel like sitting here talking to you is doing more to keep me sane than it is to wake you up. It seems like I'm just watching you shrivel before my eyes...and I don't want to lose you. I don't think you understand exactly how much I need you. I can't see my life without you. Even if I have to come here, everyday, and just watch you, wait for you, that would be more that if you left. But I don't want to keep you here if you're ready to go. I won't make you stay.

"Please, Bella. I know I've never said it enough, but I love you. I loved you before even I knew it. Even in our darkest nights I loved you, and I'm sorry I was never able to protect you from this. I'm sorry I can't do anything more for you. I'll never stop loving you. Please don't leave me!"

The buzzing of my alarm sounded.

I got ready for school in a daze. I tried to think about what might have sparked the dream. Generally when I dreamt about movies or books, I dreamt that I was one of the characters, and the people in my dreams would call me their name, not my own. It was as if my mind was telling me that something bound me to this book.

The dream also scared me slightly. The whole time I had never seen anything. I was in a coma in darkness. My father's cruelty had made me scared of everything. I jumped at the slightest movements and sounds, and I was scared of the dark, which sent me an irrational fear of my dream.

I'm sure my fright was clear on my face. Jasper had looked at me oddly when I had hopped in the car and Alice and Edward never took their eyes off of me. For some reason, Edward looked more concerned. Eventually I figured that it was because Alice was used to seeing me scared. Edward wasn't.

I had intended to go straight to Creative Writing, to have undisturbed time with the book. I ended up pausing at my locker when I saw a note attached to it. I pulled it off and leaned against the lockers while I read.

Dearest Bella,

I received your message. I thank you so much for your support. I want you to know that I have never given up. It's just harder some days to believe that something good will come out of this hell that has become my life, though I'm sure you've been through worse. I'm writing to thank you for your encouragement, and return it at the same time. Don't give up on yourself. There are others, so close to you, who care. You just can't see it. I understand why you may see things the way you do, but you shouldn't let one person ruin your trust in everyone else. You have never been left alone, you just feel lonely. No one can hurt you more than you can yourself, but what's worse is when you hurt yourself because of someone else. It also hurts others to watch you put yourself through that.

On a brighter note, I am glad that my book has caught your attention. I think you can learn a lot from it if you read between the lines and look around. I hope it encourages you to open up. To others, you are an Avery. They're trying to help. Let them.

In Creative Writing, the book stayed open, but I wasn't reading it. Behind the book, where Mr. Forrester couldn't see, I was reading the note over and over.

I had never thought for one moment that I could be hurting anyone else. I thought about Alice and Jasper. I remembered the first day of Freshman year, when Alice shooed him away. That must have hurt him a lot. But he welcomed her back. Who had I shoved away? I must have had friends at some point.

Did I have a Parker at one point in time? Would he be willing to take me back? How much had I hurt him? Who was he?

I finally realized why my dream had unfolded the way it did. Like Edward's mystery author had said, I was someone's Avery. Someone was waiting somewhere. Someone who had been watching me, hoping that he could do something.

Parker had said "There's not much else I can do for you." My Parker might have wanted to do something for me, he just couldn't. He hated watching me "shrivel before his eyes." He didn't want to lose me. One part especially stuck out to me: "Even in your darkest nights I loved you, and I'm sorry I was never able to project you from this."

If I did have a Parker, he had been watching me cower from everything, and he had never been able to protect me. But he still loved me.

And I had hurt him. I never let anyone back in after my father was arrested. I might have destroyed a love that could have saved both him and myself all the misery. Even if I had a Parker at one point, I was sure he wouldn't want me now...not after all I'd done to him.