Matter of Time

A/N: Sorry! I know it's been ages – I had intended to update sooner but life kept getting in the way! Anyway, I had an official snow day today so I decided to get this chapter sorted! Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favourited and alerted – it means so much! Thanks again to aaliyah5509 who gave me the idea to incorporate a flashback into the story, which is in this chapter. I've already written the next chapter which will be the last one, and I'm hoping to upload it before the end of this week – but we'll see how it goes! I hope you like this – it's my least favourite chapter but I think that's because I kept stopping and starting it. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think! xxx

Chapter 4: A Heart in need of Security

It had been a week since the incident with the flowers, and consequently a week since Hermione had last interacted with Draco. Well, not quite. She'd sent him an owl later that same evening to let him know that it was in fact Ron who'd sent her the flowers. His response had been short, to the point, and dripping with smug righteousness; I told you so.

Since then she'd not heard a single thing from him. No unexpected encounters, no banter, no admissions of love. And she was glad of that. Really. All Draco Malfoy was to her was a physical representation of her history. When she was around him, she felt herself being transported back to her seventh year at Hogwarts, and she hated it.

But, she also knew that she had to face her feelings head on before they managed to eat her up from the inside. She knew that she wasn't in love with Ron in the same way that she was in love with Draco – she'd always been honest with herself when it came to that. But a future with Draco was something that she'd convinced herself she couldn't have, so much so that she'd started to believe it over the years.

Besides, her life with Ron was good. It wasn't laden with unexpected surprises or unnecessary drama. It was simplistic and easy – and much better for her. Ron offered her security and acceptance, as well as a loving family environment that she'd come to cherish.

But she missed spontaneity and the rush of adrenaline that came with every new experience being with Draco had ever opened her up to, although their relationship had always possessed a bittersweet edge to it. Every happiness they shared together was cherished, but always shadowed by the threat of an impending, inevitable war that they would both be very much involved in. Looking back, she found herself surprised that it hadn't ended sooner; their stubborn, constantly clashing egos were difficult enough without possible death looming over them. It wasn't the same as arguing with Ron – their arguments were always caused by misunderstandings and miscommunications. With Draco it was nearly always a case of them simply being too similar.

She could remember the day that everything had ended as though it were yesterday. She could still feel the way her had heart broken as realisation slapped her firmly round the face for the first time. Up until that moment, she'd clutched at straws, not caring how desperate she seemed to him. All that had mattered was that they stayed together.

But he hadn't listened to her pleas. He hadn't taken notice of the pain in her eyes. He'd remained adamant in his decision, and she'd held it against him ever since.

"We'll find a way through this! We always do!" she pleaded, barely registering the tears streaming down her face or her voice cracking from the force of them. Her hands clutched his robes fiercely, as though letting go of them would mean accepting defeat.

"Not this time," he said coldly, trying to avoid looking at her face that was so engulfed in pain. Pain that he'd caused. " This time it's a matter of life and death. The entire situation is a lot bigger than us and a lot more important too."

"Please, Draco! We can make this work!"

"No."

There was a long silence that seemed to last forever. Hermione steadied her breathing and gathered herself together, deciding that enough was now enough.

"Draco, if you walk away from us now, I swear there will be no way back."

"I have no choice."

Only now, as she looked at the rain drops trickling down her bedroom window, did she realise that he'd spoken the truth. He'd had no choice. His father had forced him to get the dark mark scorched onto his forearm which was punishment enough. But with that mark came responsibilities that he'd have to follow through. By walking away, he'd saved both their lives, and she'd never realised it until now. She'd been so absorbed in hating him for not giving them a chance to work properly, for not having faith in their relationship, in their love, that she'd overlooked the reason why. The humiliation she'd felt as she'd laid her soul bare for him, only to have it ignored and thrown back in her face had driven her fury.

And now he was pursuing her. Laying his own soul down in front of her, divulging his inner-most feelings for her to either accept or reject. He wanted her to see that he was serious, and that he wanted them to be equals. Her repeated rejections and constant denials must have cut him deeper than any sharp object ever could.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She knew that he didn't deserve her hate. He deserved her upmost gratitude, respect and honesty. But the one thing that she couldn't decide on was whether he deserved her love. Was she even capable of giving it to him again? She'd closed her heart off for so long that she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to open it again. To him or to Ron.

x-x-x

She saw him the moment she entered the Leaky Cauldron that evening. It was packed with people – as you'd probably expect on a Friday night, but her attention was immediately drawn to him. Even from the back he managed to make her heart speed up – not that she'd ever tell him that. The cocky git would never let her forget it!

Hermione sidled up to the bar and sat down on the stool next to him as though it was second nature. He looked up in surprise and she smiled nervously, suddenly remembering all of those times they'd had to keep up a façade in public whilst whispering secret messages to each other in school. It gave her a warm feeling inside that she hadn't expected to feel. She

"Hi," she squeaked, her voice choosing that particular moment to change in octaves.

"Hi." His voice was low and a little husky due to the fire whiskey he was drinking. His eyes locked with hers and she found herself momentarily forget why she was there in the first place. She blushed under his gaze and he smirked.

"Drink?" he offered.

Hermione shook her head.

"No thank you, I actually need to talk to you about something…"

Draco turned to face her properly and dropped the smirk from his face, sensing that whatever she wanted to tell him was serious. Hermione took a few deep breaths, tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and took the plunge she knew she needed to.

"I just wanted to tell you that, I do still have feelings for you. I don't know why, and I know it's wrong, but I can't get rid of them," Hermione started in a slightly nervous tone. Draco's eyes lit up in interest and he watched her over the rim of his glass as he drained the last of his fire whiskey.

"And, I know that there will always be something between us, something that neither one of us will ever be able to explain. But..."

"But what?" Draco interrupted, slamming his empty glass down on the bar. He'd anticipated the 'but' and didn't like where the conversation was going. "You want to ignore it and live in misery for the rest of your life, always wondering about what could have been? That sounds nothing like the Hermione Granger I thought I knew!"

Hermione sighed and quickly looked around to make sure no one was listening in.

"What kind of future would we have, Draco?"

"The kind that you've been dreaming of since you were seventeen," he replied almost immediately, as though it was a question he'd been expecting her to ask. Hermione's eyes softened and he watched as she internally debated her options. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, she was tapped lightly on the shoulder.

"Hermione, can I talk to you for a second?"