Hey! so here's chapter four... i say this at the end 2, but reviews are appreciated!

Thoughts/dreams

'song lyrics'

"Cellphone"

Autobot comm line

I don't own anything, the song featured is called Asleep. idk who it's originally by. the one im thinking of is sung by emily browning, on the sucker punch soundtrack. look it up, its awesome. da second one is called 'Where is my mind' by Yoav and Emily Browning.

yes, i did change cellphone. I don't really know why it was like that in the first place...

enjoy!

My eyes snapped open. Damn, my head hurt like hell. I groaned softly. I had a bad feeling that a lot of people were pretty pissed at me. Half of me wished I wasn't awake.

I sighed, leaning my head back into the pillow. I heard heavy footsteps. I cursed mentally, closing my eyes and trying to breathe deeply. All I accomplished was nausea and a slight headache.

I heard Ratchet release a heavy stream of air through his side vents. A soft breeze of it told me it was also scalding hot.

"Mikaela, you should realize by now that I can always tell if you're awake by now. And if you keep breathing like that, your going to give yourself a seizure or a self-induced panic attack. And you are definitely going to be subject to some vertigo. But I suppose you like going out and getting yourself hurt..." His tone had suddenly become bitter.

I slowly opened my eyes. "I didn't mean to.", I whispered. It was almost more to myself than him.

Ratchet slowly nodded. "I know you didn't."

I bit my lip. "I'm...I'm really sorry...Ratch?"

He let out another wave of air. It was, however, cooler than the last one, only describable as luke-warm. I took that as a good sign.

"A lot of people are rather angry at you, Mikaela..."

"I thought so."

"Lennox, Epps, Bumblebee is also slightly irritated with you, but I do not think he is truly upset. And that is just to start."

I nodded, studying the floor. "Are...um...you...mad at me?"

Ratchet glanced down at me, a surprised look adorning his face plates. "No, I am not. I had been, but I realized I knew you well enough to know that you had just made a mistake. We all make mistakes."

I sighed in relief. I don't know if I could really take this without Ratchet. "Is Will really mad?"

"I don't believe he is extremely angry, but I do not know that I am the best judge of that."

I sat up, looking down at my lap. Hot tears were pooling in my eyes.

I heard Ratchet curse quietly in Cybertronian. "Oh, no. Mikaela..." Metal clanked on metal, and suddenly Ratchet's dark haired holoform was sitting next to me, slightly awkwardly gripping me in a hug. I rested my head on his shoulder.

I don't know what the hell I would do if I lost Ratchet.

"Mikaela, you DO need to eat. I can't believe I almost even fell for that... No, don't laugh, young lady. Mikaela!"

"Sorry, Ratch, it's funny... Yeah, we human's skip days, we only get hungry every other day... And the medic believes it. Nice, Ratchet."

"By technicality, I am not a human medic. And I didn't truly run it through my processors. I obviously knew that humans crave food every day."

"Uh-huh..."

"Please, Mikaela, be serious. And, just for the record, why would you have come into my med bay and eventually become my student if I was not qualified to be a medic?"

"Maybe I was bored."

"Stop trying to change the subject. You require sustenance, yet you disallow yourself to achieve it. Why?"

I sighed. To be honest, I really didn't want to run into Will and Epps. I had gone through a loud discussion with them a few days ago, and I wasn't really prepared to see them. "It's no big deal. I have some stuff in my room to eat, I don't need to go the the mess hall..."

"Yes, and I'm a Prime. Do you have an eating disorder? I've heard much of the female population around your age are prone to disorders such as anorexia..."

"No, Ratchet, I'm fine. I'm not that hungry." Alright, that was a lie. I was almost ready to eat my friggin' foot.

"Are you absolutely certain about that?"

No. No, I'm not. "Yes!"

"Well, I don't believe you. But when you wind up in my med bay, sick from malnutrition, we will see who is right."

"Alright, then. Buh-bye.", I replied sardonically.

"Goodbye."

I sat on my bed. I wish I did have food in here.

I turned my pillow over. It was too hot in my room. I was a little dizzy, and I had a headache. I was so bone tired. A little too tired to go to sleep.

I stood up and turned on my light. This was useless. I put my iPod Touch onto the speakers, and put it on shuffle. As the first few notes of the song came through, I smiled slightly at the irony.

'Sing me to sleep. Sing me to sleep. I'm tired and I want to go to bed.'

I sighed. This song depressed me a little.

'Sing me to sleep. Sing me to sleep. And then leave me alone.

Don't try to wake me in the morning,

Cause I will be gone.

Don't feel bad for me, I want you to know...'

The song ended, and the next song came on. I sighed deeply. I loved the sad songs. They made me reminisce somewhat, but in a way, I needed it.

'With your feet in the air and your head on the ground.

Try this trick, spinning, yeah.

You're head will collapse, but there's nothing real, and you ask yourself,

Where is my mind?'

A knock sounded on the door. For a split second, every horror movie I'd ever seen flashed through my mind. Then I realized that was absolutely irrational. I turned the volume down a little bit and walked over to answer the door.

I drew in a breath upon seeing who it was. I looked absolutely horrible. I wasn't wearing any makeup, my hair was a mess, and I was wearing a baggy T-shirt and oversized sweats. I was sweaty, a little paler than normal, and my eyes were a little sunken and hollow-looking, and had dark circles under them from lack of sleep.

"Uh...hey.", Will said awkwardly.

"Hey."

There was a brief silence, then I spoke again. "Well, if you aren't going to say anything... I need some sleep, so if you don't mind..." I started to slowly close the door.

"No, Mikky, c'mon."

I opened it again."Yes?"

"I just... I thought we both said a couple of things that we, uh, shouldn't have... And I didn't really want to leave it like that, so I just thought I'd say that I'm sorry."

"No, you were right. I shouldn't have run off like that. It was selfish, and immature, and you have every right to hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"Whatever. You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I was pissed, and none of it was true. But you had a right to be mad at me, and I thought about it, and you're right."

"About what?"

"Well, that I'm not a good person."

"You say that you're not a good person? I've killed people."

"So have I."

"Well, that point aside, you haven't been eating."

"How'd you know that?"

"A little fucking bird told me."

"Ratchet looks nothing like a bird."

He rolled his eyes. "Well, whatever he may or may not have mentioned to me, I haven't seen you there, either."

"Well, I'm not hungry."

And, of course, my stomach chose that moment complain rather loudly of it's hunger. I swore.

"If you're not hungry, I'm Batman."

"Hey, Bruce."

"That was a little retarded..."

"Whatever."

"C'mon, let's go get something to eat."

I sighed. "Fine. But I'm not hungry."

"Alright!"

"So, what? Raid the kitchens?"

"Pretty much."

I raised an eyebrow. "Alright, then."

An hour and a half later found us back at my room. I had stuffed my face in a lady-like manner and I felt one hell of a lot better for it.

Will and I were both laughing our asses off at a rather *ahem* risque joke her had told me involving two young boys and a woman taking a bath.

We slowly calmed down, and I turned towards him. "Thanks, that was...really fun." I smiled slightly.

He nodded, a soft smile adorning his features. "Yeah. It was."

I don't even really know what happened exactly. He was really, really close to me. I don't know what made me do it, but I tilted my head up, edging forward just the slightest bit. I found my lips caught in a feverish kiss.

Whether it was out of want, need, or the heat of the moment, neither of us pulled away. We fell onto the bed and I felt his hands edging up my shirt. I didn't stop him. My fingers found the button on his pants.

One thing led to another, and I think you can work out where that led.

My eyes slowly opened. My bed was warmer than usual. I twisted around, looking behind me. What the hell is Will doing here...?

Then it all came back. Dinner, the kiss, the freakin' ass sex. I stood up, grabbing an oversized shirt and a pair of underwear from my drawer.

"Oh, no...Oh, God, no...", I murmured to myself as Will started to grab for some of his clothes, looking stricken.

Having donned underwear and then pants, Will stood up. He looked incredibly awkward. If the situation hadn't been so awkward, I would've found his expression sort of funny.

I bit my lip as Will put his shirt on. "I'm...uh...", he started towards the door.

"Mikaela..."

I looked up. He'd stopped by the now open door, looking back. "Yeah?"

"I'm...I'm really sorry... I mean..."

"No, it's not like you...tricked me into it or anything, I mean, I was sober, you were too, and I didn't exactly protest..."

He nodded. "So...are we cool?"

I fought back a smirk. He so sounded like a teenage boy right now. "Yeah. I mean, we're both adults, it's fine."

He nodded, looking a little relieved. "Bye."

"See ya."

He left, closing the door behind him. I sat on the bed, burying my head in my hands. This is going to be shit-storm, I just fuckin' know it.

I stood up and set about changing the sheets.

I stared at the screen of my cellphone, at the tiny 'call' button that was just under the '2'. Ratchet was 2 on my speed dial. I really needed someone to talk to about all of this shit, and Ratchet was my usual go-to person, but I had a bad feeling that he'd freak out, and either get pissed at me, or at Will. Like the time when I went to him when I had that pregnancy scare after the slightly painful night on the floor behind that liquor counter... He'd freaked out and after affirming that I was, indeed, not pregnant, he'd given me a one and a half hour lecture on responsibility. Oh, God, and after I did it again out of spite... I was never very good at that. Ratchet found out because I felt so bad that I went and told him.

Good times, good times...

I surrendered to my possibly worse judgement and pressed Call.

"Yeah?" I smiled slightly. That's how Ratchet always answers the phone when he's working.

"Hey, it's 'Kaela. Do you need any help down there?"

"It is not necessary, but I would appreciate it. By the way, have you eaten anything?"

"Uh, yeah, actually, Will and I raided the kitchens last night."

"Well, that's good, at least."

"What's up?", I asked, concerned.

"Oh, just Sunstreaker. He snapped a ligament in his left shoulder and it's proving uncharacteristically difficult to fix."

"Okay, I'll be there in a couple minutes."

"Alright."

I hung up. This is going to be one hell of a lot harder in person.

I tossed my cellphone back into my purse, pulled on my boots, threw said purse over my shoulder, walked out the door, stopped to make sure I had my keys, affirmed that I had them, and headed to the medical wing that a certain CMO could always be found in.

Ten minutes later, I was walking into the med bay, where Ratchet was leaning over the table over Sunstreaker's shoulder. The mech himself was not online, probably in the middle of recharging.

"Hey."

Ratchet's head snapped up. "O-oh. Hello, Mikaela."

I sighed. "48 hours?"

"53.", he replied guiltily.

"Ratch!" I shook my head, pursing my lips. "I will take a look at him for now. You are going to go recharge for at least twenty hours."

"But-"

"No buts! I'll get you if anything happens. Now, go!"

He cycled hot air through his vents. "Fine."

He headed out the door, muttering under his breath.

I shook my head, a slight smile appearing on my face. I climbed the ladder up onto the table. I walked around Sunstreaker to examine his shoulder. The ligament was cleanly snapped, and I couldn't help but wonder what had done it. In active war-zones, I stick close to Ratchet's side, so I wouldn't see it even if I had gone on the last mission, which I hadn't.

I dragged the large jar of liquified Cybertronian metal over where I could easily reach it. I had to finish what Ratchet had only just been starting, which was layer on the metal until the ligament was nearly connected, so that it could build on itself and become a working part again. This would take a really long time.

Layer, let it dry, layer, let it dry. I repeated this over and over, thin coat over thin coat, for hours on end. I hardly noticed when Ratchet walked back into the med bay.

I checked my watch, suspicious. To my shock, I realized it had been almost thirty hours since I had sent Ratchet to go recharge. I did notice with some satisfaction that he looked much better. His optics were a little less bright, telling me his systems were content that he was able to notice everything without a double or even triple-over analysis.

I cracked my neck and stretched, groaning softly as a few loud snaps came from several areas on my slightly stiff back.

"That's very good.", Ratchet's voice said from above me.

I glanced up with a shrug. "I guess."

I felt a soft breeze air cycled through Ratchet's systems. "I trust that you haven't been here all this time, and that you left for while to sleep?"

I pondered the question. "Well, it depends how you look at it."

"I look at it from the perspective that you are being a hypocrite."

"Well, in that case, than yes, I did just tell you to go recharge and then work here for about thirty hours."

"I'm surprised that you're awake."

"Well, I have been leaving every now and for a few minutes to get something from the rec room..."

"Oh, Primus, and what is that?"

"Have you ever heard of Monster energy drinks?"

"Mikaela! Do you know how bad those are for you?"

"Well, I only had a few."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Because my scanners indicate that you have had 6."

"Well, that can be described as a few."

Being Ratchet, he took me seriously. "While the term 'few' is unspecific, it is considered unorthodox by your society to use it to describe more than three or four."

I shrugged. "I lost count a while ago."

"You need to sleep, youngling."

"I'm fine." Even as I said this, a yawn escaped my lips.

"You are not fine. You have not slept in...Primus, Mikaela, almost forty hours. And you have eaten nothing in the last thirty hours, unless you count energy supplements."

"I do."

"Well, I do not. I will tell Sideswipe he can see his brother for a while, and then I will ensure that you eat something substantial, and at least relatively healthy, and make sure you get to bed. Alright?"

I nodded, rubbing my eyes. "Yep."

His optics softened. "Come on, little one. You'll thank me later."

I vaguely felt him pick me up, and a small shock jolted me into full consciousness, administered to my arm from one of Ratchet's fingers. I glared up at him.

"I'm sorry, but you'll feel a lot better later if you eat now."

I sighed. "I'm too tired to disagree."

I was going to make this longer, but I haven't posted in 4ever, so i'm just going to leave it at this, and pick it up from here in chapter five. reviews are appreciated, thanx 4 reading!