A/N: I apologize for being a very slow updater, but there has been so much going on with me, it's been a bit difficult to sit down and finish this chapter. And I am apologizing ahead of time if it takes me some more time to finish the next part. I will try to get it done as soon as I can. Thank you!
Part 4
Elizabeth's kisses traveled from Jack's lips, to the corner of his mouth, to his cheek, and back again; all the while, her body trembling as her arms circled tightly around him. Her soft, shuddering breath parted her lips from his, and their foreheads touched as a soft sob escaped her. "Tell me I'm not dreaming, and when I open my eyes, you'll still be here."
"Elizabeth," Jack whispered, cradling her cheek in his palm and swiping his thumb across the fresh trail of tears that fell at the sound of her name on his lips.
Elizabeth slowly opened her eyes, as if she really was afraid that he would vanish into thin air right in front of her. A smile gradually stretched across her lips and she brought her hand to his face, tracing her fingers along his jawline that had several days' worth of growth roughening it. He looked different, yet still the same in many ways. She could see the months of strain and exhaustion in the lines around his eyes and his skin felt just a little more weathered. He appeared older, but the warmth of his smile and the love in his gaze as he looked upon her were exactly as she remembered. "You're really here."
Jack's mouth quirked at the soft squeak in her voice as she spoke, but his eyes soaked her in. He'd been aching for that moment from the instant he had to leave her behind, standing in the middle of that road and watching him ride away. He hadn't dared look back again when he'd resumed his departure, knowing that if he did, her tears and shattering heart would likely beckon him to return to her once more. And had he done so, it would have been even harder to part from her again. Gazing upon her in that moment was evidence enough of that. The tears that shone in her eyes right then were ones of happiness and relief, and despite the chilly temperature surrounding them, he couldn't bear the thought of letting her go again so soon. "I wasn't about to miss Christmas with you if I could possibly help it."
Elizabeth's lips trembled again as they met his in a gentle kiss, and then she pulled him into a warm embrace, her fingers weaving into his hair. "You have no idea how much I've missed you."
"I think I have some idea," Jack replied with a quiet chuckle, leaning his cheek against her hair. Her hold on him tightened and he felt a shiver run through her body, and with a sigh, he ran his hands briskly over her back. "Where's your coat?"
The same thought seemed to pass through Elizabeth's mind as well as she pulled back, her cheeks flushing a little more than they already were just from the cold. "I may have forgotten it inside the church in my hurry."
"Well, why don't we go grab it and I'll walk you home," Jack said and rested his hand at her elbow to lead her inside, but she refused to budge, her eyes widening as she took hold of his arm. Her tears began to well again and he shook his head, his palm cupping her face as he leaned down to kiss her. "You're cold and it's late. You will see me in the morning, I promise. Okay?"
Elizabeth's shoulders fell slightly in defeat as she nodded, forcing a smile as she took his offered arm and moved up the steps with him. Her hold tightened more as they stepped inside, and rather than reaching for her coat where it hung on the peg, she turned to face him instead. "Jack, just a few more minutes. Please."
"All right," Jack whispered, kissing her forehead and wrapping his arm around her shoulders, leading her to the nearest pew. He smiled when he spotted the card from Opal and the message he'd kept tucked close to his heart since it was delivered to him months before.
Elizabeth turned toward him with a suspicious look on her face, while he fought to keep from smiling. "How long have you been back, and just how many knew you were?"
"Oh, not too many. Just Abigail, Cody, Opal and her parents. Oh, and Bill. And Lee and Rosemary." Jack watched Elizabeth's jaw drop further as more names were added, and he took her hands in his. "I only just got in this afternoon. I was hoping to make it sooner, but some storms up north sent me on a longer route."
"And waiting this long to make your presence known?" Elizabeth asked with an arched eyebrow. "You know I've been aching to see you."
Jack's features straightened, his smile fading as he gazed at her. "As have I. I've missed you more than I could ever explain to you in this lifetime. I had planned to surprise you for Christmas, but I also wanted our reunion to be as private as possible, not with the whole town watching."
Elizabeth brought her hands to the front of his serge, running her fingers over the fabric. "I guess my response at seeing you was best left to a private moment."
"I would say so," Jack responded in a serious tone, but once again losing the battle with a smile as she hid her face against his chest to hide the blush that crossed her cheeks.
Once Elizabeth composed herself again, she quickly brought her eyes back up to meet his, not wanting to waste a single moment of the night with him. Her hand reached down to take his and they lowered to sit on the pew together, Elizabeth leaning into his side as his arm returned around her. "I'd love to know how you managed to keep a secret like this when both Rosemary and Opal were involved."
"I'm still recovering from the shock myself," Jack replied with a quiet chuckle, pressing a soft kiss to her hair, and she nestled herself closer to him in response.
In that moment, Elizabeth was drawn back into the thoughts that had plagued her since the day he left. Of that night so many months before, in that very building, just a handful of benches in front of them. Just as she'd been then, she was overwhelmed by his presence, wanting to relish in the feeling of him beside her. Once again, the words to express everything she was feeling froze in her throat as her heart beat rapidly in her chest. Her gaze fell to her hand, held in his free one, at the feel of his thumb running slowly back and forth on her ring. That simple gesture ignited a flood of emotion to rush through her.
It wasn't a dream—Jack was actually beside her, holding and touching her. She could hear every breath he took and say everything she'd been regretting not telling him that night, but only one thing managed to escape her—albeit the most important.
"I love you," she whispered, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it to slide her arm around his waist in an attempt to press closer to him. She felt her hair rustle against her skin with the soft exhale of his echoed reply, and her heart picked up a beat as her eyes rose to meet his again. "I don't know if I really want the answer to this question, but are you home for good?"
Elizabeth could see the reply in Jack's eyes before any words were spoken, and her fingers curled into the fabric of his serge with the constriction in her chest. "I wish with all my heart that I could tell you I was, Elizabeth."
Her lips trembled despite her effort to rein in the emotion welling up inside her, and tears began to flood her eyes again. "How long do we have?"
Jack's fingers ran along her arm in a soothing motion, while he gently cradled her cheek with the other hand. "I have to report to headquarters two days after New Year's."
Elizabeth hugged around him tighter, her forehead nuzzling into the side of his neck. "So barely a week before you leave again?"
"Yes," he replied in a hoarse whisper, his arm securing more firmly around her. "I wish I could stay longer, but we're only just beginning to get a handle on things up there, and still have a long road ahead of us. The men really need me right now."
"I know, and I understand that. Really, I do," Elizabeth answered, trailing her fingertips over the buttons along the front of his jacket. "Just please remember that they aren't the only ones who need you present and safe."
Jack nodded in silent response, his arms fully encompassing her in a firm embrace, and her head settled on his shoulder. Every part of her wanted to hold onto him and not let go, to live in that moment forever, yet knew that was impossible. She could feel his exhaustion in the tension of his muscles beneath her palm, and God knew how many days he'd spent on horseback, just trying to get back to her as soon as he could. She felt selfish in even asking for those few extra minutes with him, but once again, the desires of her heart were warring with the sense of her mind.
However, both her logic and love for him finally won out.
"You need your rest, and not on this hard bench. We should go," Elizabeth whispered, lifting her hand to rest on his face while kissing the other cheek.
"I'll be much better company tomorrow, I promise," Jack replied as they rose, holding Elizabeth's coat for her as she slid into it.
She turned to face him again, a smile reappearing along with the glistening of tears in her eyes. "The company could not have been more perfect tonight, and I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas gift than having you here with me."
After one brief, soft brush of her lips on his, she leaned into his side and they walked arm in arm out of the church, slowly making their way to her row house. They paused at the steps leading up to her door, and although Elizabeth had no other option, she was reluctant to let him go. His palm rose to cradle her cheek and he gave her a tired smile. "See you in the morning."
"You will," Elizabeth replied, her own smile growing as she took a step closer to him to capture one last kiss for the night. "I love you. I know I don't say that nearly enough, but I hope you never doubt it. And I'm so glad you're home, regardless of how long."
Jack rested his forehead against hers and his eyes closed, seeming equally hesitant to part from her as well. "So am I. And I love you, too, Elizabeth. More than you'll ever know."
With one more press of his lips to hers, they bid each other good night. Jack waited until she was safely inside before she heard the discernable sound of his boots crunching through the freshly fallen snow, and she felt her heart begin to ache again.
She could only hope that when she opened her eyes in the morning, no matter how real it felt in that moment, that the evening truly hadn't been just a wonderful dream, telling her everything she wanted to hear. Although, she was fairly certain that a dream would include Jack being home to stay rather than just on leave, she prayed as she finally settled into bed that Christmas morning would bring her exactly what she desired.
.
.
.
Despite her best efforts, sleep eluded Elizabeth all night, her mind unwilling to cease whirling. She was anxious for morning to come, to spend every moment she possibly could with Jack, as she intended to do each day he was home, but the nights were going to be difficult—as that one was turning out to be.
Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to never have to say goodbye to him again, as unrealistic as she knew that was. Doing so every single night was going to be even harder than it was before he'd taken the assignment up north, but now, every single moment was just that much more precious. She didn't want to waste even a second that they had together.
After tossing and turning for what felt like an eternity, Elizabeth just couldn't lie there anymore, staring at the ceiling and walls, and got up to redress. Once downstairs, she lit the stove and set the kettle to boil for tea, and headed over to her desk to pour her thoughts into her journal.
Well, last night was easily one of the best, as well as one of the hardest, nights of my life. Seeing Jack at the bottom of those steps waiting for me, where only my mind's eye had conjured him for months, filled me with such an indescribable rush of joy. To feel his arms around me and kiss him again, I can feel myself still trembling from the exhilaration it sent through me. I thought I knew how much I had missed him all this time, but it hit me with such an unexpected force tonight, I never wanted to release him. I know that the day will come, when he's home for good and we can finally have our wedding, that there will be no more parting at the end of the day. We'll have our house, and his face will be the first thing I see every morning, and the last thing I see every night. Yet, I feel as if I miss him more now than I did before, being so close yet still out of reach, and morning still feels so far away.
Elizabeth dropped the pen to the desk, burying her face in her hands with a heavy sigh, quietly admonishing herself. "He's been gone for months, and I can't manage a few hours?"
She allowed her arms to fall to the desktop, her eyes lowering to her engagement ring. Maybe it would have been different if Jack was home for good, without the deadline placed on their time together, or if it was not reduced even further by the nights spent apart. Time seemed to be the one thing constantly working against them, in one way or another, but now, they didn't have the hours, minutes, or even seconds to waste.
The kettle began to whistle and Elizabeth looked up at the clock, noting that it was still only four in the morning, but she couldn't wait any longer. She rose sharply, removing the kettle from the stovetop and hurried toward the door, grabbing her coat on the way out. Her mind and her steps were in such high motion, she barely noticed anything until she reached the door of the jail, gently knocking on it.
Almost immediately, she could hear the shifting of footsteps from within and the door finally opened, revealing Jack on the other side, and as if it were second nature, his forehead creased in concern. "Elizabeth? Is something wrong?"
"Not exactly, but you did tell me once that I could knock on your door day or night if I ever needed anything." Elizabeth smiled half-heartedly as a chill worked its way through her body now that she had stopped moving. "Does that invitation still stand?"
Jack tilted his head and gave her a look clearly stating that the answer was obvious, and reached down for her hand. "Of course. Come in here before you freeze."
Elizabeth followed his lead as he guided her inside, waiting until he had closed the door behind them, and then moved to wrap her arms around his waist and press her cheek to his chest. The soft fabric of his shirt was a stark contrast to the feel of his serge earlier, and she found it oddly more comforting. Like this, he was just Jack—her Jack, not the Mountie she had to share with countless others. "I'm sorry if I woke you."
"I wasn't asleep. I don't tend to sleep for long whenever I'm able to manage some lately. Besides, I was anxious to see you," Jack whispered, his arms embracing her securely as he pressed a kiss to her hair. "Did you need something?"
"For the moment, just this," she replied, curling her body into him and pressing herself as close as she could. "I just really need your arms around me right now, Jack."
"You haven't slept at all, have you?" Jack asked knowingly and she lifted her head enough to look at him, though her eyes fell as she answered him in a hushed tone.
"I know it's complete nonsense, but I couldn't." Elizabeth shook her head, her fingers gently curling into the fabric of his shirt at his sides. "Whenever I would try, that little voice in the back of my head kept nagging at me. Saying that if this was just a dream and I allowed myself to fall asleep, I'll wake up and you'll still be gone, but if I didn't, I could just stay here and you'd be there in the morning. I'm not so silly that I truly believed it, but my mind wouldn't stop whirling. I want you here so badly, and it feels like I've been waiting so long, it's hard to believe that it's true. And knowing that I have to let you go again in a week, give or take, is not making it much easier."
Jack's forehead pressed against hers and she could feel his nod. "I know, but I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere until I absolutely have to."
"Jack…" Elizabeth finally opened her eyes to look at him for a moment, and then pulled him closer for a kiss. "I want to get married. Now."