Chapter Four: Wendelclaws Suck
Seriously, it is impossible to make lemonade with just lemons.
Life really sucks sometimes.
-JadedWarrior
Alice locked up the car and left it where it was, much to Percy's amazement.
"Doesn't it want to stretch it's legs? Go to the bathroom?"
"It's a car, you dolt." Alice laughed. "It's not alive. And I think it deserves a break."
So the Hatter let the matter rest and they walked deeper into the woods.
"They should be a bit further in- Marchy's got good ears. They might already know that we're here."
Alice looked for signs of movement- the telltale screech of an excited Hare- but there was nothing. She considered asking Percy about it, but the tension in his countenance killed the words. The Hatter's eyes were gray under furrowed brows, and his hand strayed often to the hilt of his dagger. Alice was glad that she'd purchased herself a sword a few years back- for 'aesthetic' purposes, of course.
Her sister never suspected that she still practiced, after all these years.
"Why a dagger?" she finally asked, hoping to break the terse silence. He gave her a rather sharp look.
"More practical in... some situations."
Alice immediately regretted asking- but she couldn't help wondering how many 'situations' he'd gotten into while she was gone.
And she knew that he hadn't told her everything, no matter what he said.
Then the air shattered, and little things like the Hatter's past took a backseat.
SCREEEEEEEEEE!
"GET DOWN!" Percy roared. But it was too late- something huge and heavy collided with his shoulder, throwing him to the ground.
"Percy!"
She made to help him up, but was forced to scramble aside as claws flashed in front of her. Another screech split the air and she barely dodged another sudden blow.
"Alice!"
The Hatter staggered to his feet, ducking under another slash. They were back-to-back, weapons drawn, ready to fight their invisible assailants.
Then Alice looked up, and saw them.
"Fates above." breathed Percy.
They were huge.
Two gigantic birds of prey circled their clearing, shrieking and hissing. Their plumage was inky black, and purple stained the feathers around their eyes, tails, and wingtips. Their beaks and talons were like iron- in both color and stregnth. The birds' eyes were without pupil, and red as blood.
Even the Bandersnatch had a kind of twisted cuteness to it. These birds were nothing short of terrifying- and they were definitely from Wonderland.
"How did these get here?" Alice gasped, as she helped the Hatter to his feet. They tried to dash for a clearing, but they were blocked again by another swoop. The birds couldn't quite maneuver in the clearing, Alice could tell- but they had no intention of letting them escape.
"I don't know, but I'll bet money that they work for the Knave." he glanced from one to the other, rapidly formulating a plan.
"Alice, we need to-"
"DUCK!"
She shoved him down, but not before another one of them caught her across the shoulder. To her horror, strong claws fastened about her shoulders and began pulling her from the ground.
"ALICE!"
A scream tore the air and the bird released her. She fell to the ground in a heap- struggling to her feet just in time to avoid another slashing talon. The bird that had tried to kidnap her fell to the ground in a heap, black blood oozing from it's corpse. The hilt of Percy's dagger protruded from it's body.
She ran to him, both of their necks craning to catch a glimpse of the second bird.
She passed him her dagger.
"You're probably going to want this."
"How long have you carried a knife?"
"Since Albert got it into his head to start following me to work."
Percy's lip twitched.
"Right. Definitely should've punched him."
They expected the bird to descend any moment now- nothing. The waiting coiled each one of Alice's adrenaline-spiked nerves into a knot. Her heart was racing uncomfortably, her muscles twitching with the need to run, move, do something.
"Do you think it's safe to move?" she whispered.
"I don't-"
SCRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!
Alice heard the bird scream, but she was too late to react- she whirled around just in time to see the creature sweep towards them in a rush of feathers, felt someone shove her hard in the side-
She tripped and fell to the ground. A cry of pain and a rush of wind, and it was over.
The blackness overtook her almost instantly.
Author's Note:
Okay, yeah, the bird fight sucked. Really. But I felt the need to post this chapter so I can move on with the flipping story.
oo oo oo
Cards are valuable soldiers for several reasons.
The first is obvious- they're walking chunks of solid steel. Only a powerful weapon or a well-placed blow could hope to damage them, and even then, they fought to the end. Why are cards such loyal soldiers? Reticent chunks of metal could hardly believe in fighting for a cause, and there are few worldly things that tempt them. No, Cards are valuable soldiers because of the spell wound into their metal shells- a spell that was made by the first Cardsmith during the dawn of Wonderland's history.
All Cards are bound utterly and infallibly to the whims of whomever wears the crown.
Their sentient qualities are limited only to those necessary for a soldier- they have no 'feelings,' no thoughts of mutiny or empathy. Just unwavering resolve to do as they are told, and do it well, by whomever they are told to do it. Only a powerful usurper could possibly sway the loyalty of the Cards, and only by proving himself to be a truer ruler than their Crowned Queen.
The Knave of Clubs knew this well- it had made killing the Queen of Hearts laughably easy. No true ruler would put so much trust in a single man, he reasoned, and the Cards had agreed with him. These Club Cards were no different. And even if some of them were still loyal to their Queen, it would matter little. He was doing his job as Knave and Chief of Police- hunting a fugitive.
Queen Farilla of Clubs would have nothing cross to say about it, he was sure.
Foolish woman.
The bird threw the Hatter to the ground with a thud. He struggled to his knees, but was shoved down again by a pair of green and white Cards.
Finally.
A man in a matching ensemble of white, green, and black sauntered up to them, grinning widely.
"Hatter." The Knave crowed. "I was hoping you'd come by for a visit."
oo oo oo
Alice came around slowly and painfully- but the first thing that really registered wasn't her discomfort or her environment.
It was the conspicuous lack of a Hatter.
The bird, the bird...
Oh, no.
She leapt to her feet. "Percy!"
"Oi! Shut et!"
Strong hands shoved her back to the ground, and try as she might, she couldn't break their hold. Alice glared up at her captor- a beautiful, though slightly rugged-lookig woman about her age. Her dark skin was lined with a scar or two, and her angular eyebrows lent her a perpetually fierce expression. Bright gold eyes contrasted sharply with her dark skin, and the cornrow braids on her head alternated in rows of hot pink and black, all pulled together into a loose bun. She was clothed in rough traveling gear, with cutoff shorts and high boots that looked a little worn.
Essentially, she was an Outlander from head to toe. Meaning that Alice wasn't getting off the ground anytime soon.
"Triss, is it?" she ventured.
"How'd ye guess?" her captor growled. The brogue sounded vaguely Scottish- definitely an Outlander.
"You're the only one I don't recognize. And it's an Outlandish name."
The White Rabbit's face loomed into view, as flustered and tense as ever.
"All right, all right- Leave off, Triss! It's Alice!"
Triss rolled her eyes. "Oh, realleh? And how many girls 'ave claimed to beh Alice, all these years?"
Alice's irritation was burning rapidly at her self-control. Was this how Percy felt, when his eyes turned red?
I have no time for this!
"Look, you're the Mad Hatter's friends, right? He was taking me to meet you when we were attacked by giant birds. I don't know where he is, but I know he's in danger- listen to me for his sake, if for nothing else!"
Triss released her suddenly, as if burned. Her topaz eyes were wide.
"Perceh's en danger?"
"You know his first name?"
For a moment, both women stared at each other, equally shocked. But Alice was soon on her feet. "How do you know him?"
"Long storeh." the Outlander growled. "'An not one you need tae hear jus' yeht.
"Contrariwise, Triss, if she was a'wantin to hear the story it's rude to refuse!" piped up Tweedledee, who had emerged from his hiding space, Dum and Marchy in tow.
"No, ye idiot, if'n Triss didn't wanna tell it it'd be no use nohow, and rudeness aside!"
"Well, it was rude of her to refuse to tell Alice, her bein' the Champion and needin' to know what's befallen her boyfriend-"
"Hatter's not her boyfriend, beetlebrain, cause if e' was it would be, but as e' isn't he most certainly ain't, cause everybody knows that-"
"TWEEDLES!" Triss barked.
"Sorry."
"Didn't mean nothin nohow, Triss."
"Alice." muttered the Hare- it was the first words he'd spoken. Her heart broke at the sight of him- his usual twitchy but lovable exterior had been stripped away. Marchy was thin, haggard, and utterly terrified. His eyes were wide and filled with fear, like a little child cowering from an imaginary monster.
"Heavens, Marchy, what's happened to you?" Alice breathed, though she already knew.
Triss followed her gaze- her eyes too were dark with pity.
"Perceh 'ad no choice. It was take 'im, or leave 'im at the mercy of the Knave."
Her eyes darkened to a burnt orange.
"'An there's no mercy wit' 'at monsteh."
The warrioress rounded on Alice.
"Yeh said you were traveling with the 'Atter- big behrds got 'im? Purple 'an black?"
Alice nodded. Triss swore under her breath.
"Son of a Bandersnatch*... Wendelclaws. They'llve taken 'im to the Knave... sharskleh." she swore. "'At boy realleh knows how tae get 'imself into trouble. Pack yeh things!" she cried, to the general group. "We need tae git movin'."
And without another word, she scooped up her own pack and plunged into the woods.
Alice hurried to catch up, lengthening her strides to match the Outlander's relentless pace.
"Wait- so you're just going to barge into the Knave's stronghold with no plan?"
"Do yeh want 'im rescued, or not?" she growled, pointedly not looking at Alice. "Because if'n yeh do, you ought tae listen tae people who know what they're doin'. We don't 'ave time tae prattle on."
"Are you serious?" spat Alice. "There is always time to make a plan. The only creatures really fit to fight here are me and you- and heaven only knows how many Cards are in there. Do you think the Knave will just let us walk in there and take him?"
"Bloody 'ell, girl, do yer think ah didn't think 'o that? We've gotten a message from someone on the inside- Mr. Roberht Preston. The Knave's outta town."
Robert- Uncle Rob?
"My Uncle's been captured by the Knave?"
Triss rolled her eyes.
"Thank ye, Cap'n Obvious. Any other lovely behts of info ye wanna share?"
"Would you shut up and listen?" Alice snapped. Triss said nothing, so Alice snatched her wrist, whirling her around to face her. Triss immediately tore her dagger free with her other hand- and they stood motionless, Alice holding the Outlander's wrist and Triss pricking Alice's throat with her knife.
"We are no use to him if we can't work together." she growled.
Just then, the others crashed through the undergrowth.
"Triss, you needn't walk so- Fates above!" the White Rabbit gasped, when he beheld their less-than-friendly stances. "Triss, p-put that away! You know the c-consequences for harming Wonderland's champion!"
"Trissy not hurt Alice!" squeaked a small voice. The March Hare stepped forward, tiny dagger in paw. He was shaking like a leaf, but a new, almost lucid determination lit a fire in his eyes. "Crazy boy in d-danger. No time for fight!"
Triss shot Alice one more venomous look and released her- Alice did the same with her wrist.
Why do you hate me so much?
Would all of Wonderland act like this- despise her for accidentally abandoning them? Or did they already assume her dead or kidnapped?
But she had no time to think about this. The Hatter- her Hatter, was in danger. The Knave was more than likely going to use him as a bargaining chip... try to use him to get at her.
The mighty, white-hot rage filled her again, bubbling up from some deep inner core.
No. She would chase the Knave to the gates of hell if she had to- nothing was going to separate them again.
So she crashed on through the woods, back towards a mansion she swore she would never set foot in.
A plan was rapidly formulating itself in her mind.
The White Rabbit sped up his odd, hop-walking gait to plod along beside her. He still wore the same crimson waistcoat that she'd remembered, the same concerned, though nervous look in his brown eyes.
"She's really not a hateful creature, you know." he said quietly. "She's just been through a lot. The Knave destroyed her whole tribe when he learned they'd been sheltering the Hatter."
Alice's heart clenched- it was an unbelievable act of cruelty. She could hardly blame Triss for being suspicious...
"Does Percy know?"
"Fates, no." breathed the Rabbit. "He'd... He'd never forgive himself if he knew. T-Triss said she'd gut anyone who told him. I don't blame her."
The poor Rabbit was glancing over his shoulder so often, Alice swore he had a twitch.
"How did he wind up in the Outlands?" she asked, trying to keep her tone level. Of course, he wouldn't have told her... afraid she'd worry...
She scoffed. Yeah- like she wasn't worried now. Her every nerve was twisted into a supersensitive knot- it took all of her self-control to stop thinking of all the horrid things the Knave could possibly be doing to him and all of the slow and painful ways she'd make him pay if he touched a single hair-
"Alice?"
She came back to herself with a start- how much of that was out loud?
"Sorry, Florence." she murmured, remembering the Rabbit's first name. "Looks like some of the Madness is rubbing off on me."
He managed a weak chuckle.
"Alice, if you w-weren't mad, you wouldn't be you. We're all mad here."
She smiled.
"Of course. But I'll feel much better when I get a certain Madman back."
The Rabbit chuckled a little too knowingly- and Alice wondered how many rumors the Cheshire Cat had managed to spread over the past four years...
"I was asking a question, wasn't I?"
"You were. The Hatter wound up in the Outlands with the March Hare. They'd been searching for you. if Triss hadn't found them, they'd have... expired."
Now it was official. Percy definitely hadn't told her everything that had been going on while she was away. But whatever feelings of hurt she might have felt before were swept away in the maelstrom of her fear for him.
Whatever happens, Alice begged. Just let him be safe.
She couldn't know that her Hatter was anything but.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
* I lol'd when I thought that up. XD It amuses me, for some reason...
Yeah, I hate this chapter, but I had to put it up. I can NO LONGER stand to look at it. X_X
Yeah, short chapter again, sorry. XD Torture scene's next up, though. BE NOT AFRAID!