A portal here, a portal here, and -
Beep-beep-beep. Eddie whirled around to see a rocket not ten feet away from him. He stood there, gaping at it, the portal device dangling heavily from one hand. A sudden, fleeting image of Wile E. Coyote flashed across his mind, and he wondered madly if Aperture Science was owned by Acme.
Boom.
Eddie jerked upright, panting, sweat glazing his forehead. He was somewhere soft. Soft and dark. Soft and dark didn't make sense - he'd been facing down a rocket in a room full of tile and hate and bright, bright lights, why was he...
He was in bed. He had had a nightmare, that was all, and it was over. He was safe. (As safe as he ever was, anyway.)
He kicked off the blankets. Yes, there he was, uninjured, with no heelsprings and no official Aperture Science jumpsuit. Okay. He was fine -
GLaDOS' voice spat metallic rage through his door. "You're still shuffling around a little but believe me, you're dead."
He squealed with terror and dove under the blankets. Oh god she was here she was here it was real -
"The part of you that could have sur-" Her voice abruptly cut off. Footsteps thudded to his door.
"Eddie?"
It was Jackie. "Yes?" he asked, in a voice two octaves above his normal tone. He cleared his throat. "Yes?" he repeated, somewhat back to his normal range.
"Everything okay in there?"
"Fine," he squeaked.
"Okay," she said, unconvinced. Her footsteps receded.
He forced himself to stop death-gripping the pillow and relax. It was over. He could go back to sleep. He snuggled under the blankets, cuddled up with his pillow, and shut his eyes.
"-vived indefinitely is gone! I just struck you from the permanent record."
His eyes opened.
He calmly slid out of bed. He slowly pulled a T-shirt on and equally deliberately slipped into a bathrobe. He took his time putting on his slippers.
Then, with a tranquil expression on his face and his favorite baseball bat in hand, he calmly walked into the living room and beat seven brands of holy hell out of the laptop glowing with the image of GLaDOS. He turned to Jackie, who was sitting amid the debris with a look on her face that mimicked one of a recently deceased fish, and smiled politely. "Good night."
Author's Note: Jackie is, of course, from my "House" series of stories. More endings to come!