Disclaimer, I don't own True Blood nor any of its characters!
As it turns out, vampires in Europe were faring much better than in America. The TruBlood brand was never particularly popular in this market so the resultant fallout that it caused back in Shreveport and towns alike was minimal here. As it was natural, in the face of an almost worldwide virus that attacked vampires and humans could be carriers, willing collaboration between species was wary but being a vampire in the open, felt for Pam, so much easier than she's used to ever since they were forced to come out of the coffin. How she hated that phrase.
Leonore is a far cry from Sophie Anne as Queen.
First, she welcomed Pam with a human from her very own service, as Eric promised she would. Of course, that didn't go off without a hinge.
-Why didn't you tell me you ate on the way here?
-Hey lady, if my meal had Hep V, I would know- Pam snarls with a roll of her eyes – I wasn't made yesterday.
-This illness it's not like Hep D- she says, shaking her head and her voice turning hard- There's no way to know if a human has it, that's why the rates are so high. Many are still unsure on how they contract it because they expected the same thing as you would with Hep D; metallic blood, circles under the eyes, some kind of smell.
-If I have it, don't tell Eric- Pam says, resolute.
Leonore merely nodded.
-Are you more comfortable with drawing your blood or –
-I'll bite my own wrist, thank you- Pam replies, eying Leonore with puzzlement as she moves to catch the drops of blood dripping from the wound she punctured with her fangs in a glass tube. She always pitied vampires who followed the rules as if they were still humans but she has to admit, that behavior in ancient vampires was something that secretly fascinated her. It seemed the older they get, the more they want to retain some sense of normalcy.
-I'm sorry, but you can't eat yet.
-What? I'm really fucking starving- Pam groans.
-How old are you? - Leonore asks her in a curious tone of voice.
-108- Pam says a little defensively.
-Oh. I expected you to be older than that- Leonore says with a smirk – You certainly find no trouble in standing up to vampires stronger than you.
-Older doesn't always mean stronger- Pam replies tersely.
-True. Don't take it the wrong way. You must be truly exceptional for Eric to have turned you.
She can't help it. Appeal to her ego and her relationship with her Maker, the two things she holds dearest in her cold, dead heart and she melts; she allows herself to give Leonore a small smile.
A day later, she's cleared from Hep V but unfortunately, one of Leonore's daymen leaves her the blood in a bag. If she hadn't been so hungry she would have looked for the queen and shoved it up her ass.
Still, she has to admit Leonore's tight leash on her rules has a content population as a result. Her people even work with the human government to ensure that the humans that enter their vampire feeding program take routine weekly tests to make sure they are clean of the virus.
Most of all, Pam is really glad that she gets to be here, in the middle of a crisis, as an outsider. She's so glad that all of these emergencies are handled by somebody else and she knows it makes her selfish, but she has earned her right to catch a fucking breath.
Her first week in Sweden flew past her, as she was caught up in Leonore's regulations, worrying about Eric and figuring out how to properly eat in this world where Willa's daddy had created the perfect illness to kill the vampire race. The only thing she felt partially grateful about the time craziness ate up Bill Compton's brain was him ripping that son of a bitch's head off in his own home. She checks on her blood bond with Tara from time to time, the guilt that remains from leaving her still banging in her head hard, but her progeny has her blocked. How on Earth she figured how to do that on her own, fuck if she knows. Jessica's work, probably. That girl was such a fine vampire in such terrible hands.
Another week had to pass since she arrived here before Eric's skin finished growing back.
It was a gruesome process and Pam could understand why Eric, a proud being first and foremost, wouldn't willingly want her, or anyone, to see him like that. He had spent most of the time resting and she had nothing but her rambling thoughts to keep her company as Leonore hadn't returned since delivering her the human, probably sensing she wasn't going to be fucking Eric anytime soon.
She had been reading in one of the silk-lined sofas when Eric vamps in the living room, wearing no clothes, a toothy grin on his face. Pam had dropped her book and she thinks she might have squealed a little.
Well, that was embarrassing.
-You are healed- she manages to say, trying to put on her most normal, bored-as-hell drawl and failing spectacularly – Show-off.
-Oh, so you like what you see?- Eric teased her, cockily flexing his muscles as Pam struggles to not let her eyes drift lower and lower in appreciation.
As she keeps acting uncharacteristically awkward, Eric drops it.
-Aren't we rusty? – Eric mutters, bitterness audible in his voice – Pam, why did you come here?
-You want me to leave? - Pam snaps defensively as he lifts his hands in surrender in response.
-You hate the snow- he finally says.
-I don't really care about the snow. I needed to see you- she says softly – Will you put some clothes on?
-I think this is the first time you ever tell me that- he purrs at her with a wink and Pam rolls her eyes, still not knowing if she should follow his game or if he's just feeling hyper due to not getting up from that bed in weeks. Heaven knows she doesn't want to get her hopes up about nothing.
When he comes back, wearing only a ridiculously tight pair of jeans, he's sporting a naughty grin she hadn't seen in a while. The life in his eyes is still mostly gone, but then again, it has been since Godric died. Nora indirectly dying because of him put the nail in that coffin.
-I was planning on staying here for a while- Eric tells her conversationally – It was due for quite some time, don't you think so?
-Fuck you, Eric- Pam tells him with a slowly-growing smile – I've been telling you to leave that place for years and now it's your wonderful idea.
-Do you want to stay with me?
Now that's a bomb she wasn't ready for. She had promised Tara that she'd be gone just for a little while, just to find Eric and bring him back but she realized now that Bon Temps, Shreveport and the sort were the last places on Earth she wanted to be. If she came back, would be only to take Tara with her and her progeny didn't seem like the kind of person who'd go anywhere without making it a pain. Besides, Tara finally seems like she's enjoying herself a little with the people she's known and she figures she has new friends in Jessica and Willa. For a moment there, she really wants to hear Tara complain about Jessica talking about kissing boys and sneaking out to bars… and does Willa seem like the type to braid other girls' hairs? She mentally shudders, just thinking about these hypothetical sleepovers.
And as much as she tries to picture herself in this life, with the occasional exception of Tara, she can't do it without wanting to run away from it again. Leaving Eric alone certainly wouldn't help him deal with his grief as much as he thought it was the right thing to do. True, entirely selfish reason: she just desperately wants to be with Eric, the two of them, like they used to be.
She remembers how Eric left her, truly left her, and that was the worst time of her life. Her face was melting off, she could feel in their bond just how much he was enjoying his stay at Sookie's house and she almost met the sun so poor Ginger had to lock her down in heavy silver chains, which hurt way more than usually as she had no skin to begin with. Sure, she's only known Tara for a couple of months, but wouldn't it be terribly hypocritical to do the same to her progeny?
-I'd be leaving Tara behind- Pam says reluctantly.
-You already did- he points out unhelpfully.
Pam just makes a face at him, growing more and more frustrated.
-Did you know Tara called me the worst Maker ever when I told her I was leaving? - Pam asks him and she doesn't know why she's saying this – She spoke for your little Willa too. She says we are the most selfish people she's ever crossed.
-Tara complains too much- Eric replies with a sigh – Look, Pam, I don't know why you turned her. I truly don't.
-You're the last person who should be speaking about turning randoms- she replies.
-Willa is different.
-How so?
-She was turned to meet a purpose and don't tell me about how I basically stomped all over Godric's teachings because I know it, Pamela- he says, gradually rising his voice with each word and Pam flinches. She holds her tongue on that particular subject but fuck if she's not getting tired of Eric treating her like his punching bag.
-I'm sorry- Eric mumbles – I don't want to yell at you, I really don't.
She honestly doesn't know what makes her say what she says next.
-I turned Tara because Sookie made me- Pam whispers and Eric turns his head sharply.
-Sookie doesn't make you do anything.
-Trust you to defend her even now- Pam mutters under her breath and waits for Eric's reply but his curiosity wins out – You were missing, ok? And Billith was missing as well and Jessica didn't know shit and I thought that if all Sookie needed to do to get you to come back was snap her fingers, then I better be on her good books. Of course Tinker Bell didn't do a single thing for me but it was done.
Eric is silent for a long time. Pam is starting to get unnerved that she has added more to his misery by confessing that she too basically stomped all over Godric's ideas of the bond they all share and their blood.
-What could even make you think she had a better chance of finding me than you did?
-Do you really don't know?- Pam asks, her voice a combination of furious and deeply, deeply hurt and she knew Eric figured out that she meant that moment outside the lair of the witches, when he threatened to kill her and shattered everything Pam held dear in this world with his words.
Eric lowers his eyes to the ground with a frown and after a long time, speaks.
-Pam, if you decide to leave now, I can't and won't do anything to hold you back. Especially after the way I've been treating you- he pauses and looks at her – Tara might have been a mistake, but she might be your future. I saw her in the Authority; she fought to save you, to be the first you saw when you came out of that cell.
The implications of that are not lost on Pam. Tara was a hell lot more cunning than they gave her credit for. When she and Jessica heard the oncoming footsteps to their cells, they had truly believed they were going to get killed and when she saw the blonde head of Sookie followed not by her Maker, but her progeny, she hadn't liked that girl more in her life. She wouldn't say she loved Tara, but in that moment, being a prisoner after she took the blame for something that insane girl did and said insane girl busting out a silver door and not caring if she got burned, it was just her and her gorgeous cocoa doll of a progeny and her soft, soft lips.
-She's not that bad- Pam admits with a shrug and a small smile.
-You deserve to be free.
-Eric, come on! - Pam finally shrieks, rising up from the sofa – This level of Bill Compton's brooding does not suit you.
-Still, you are free to leave.
-I will leave you when you start acting like the Eric I know.
-Pamela, I killed my sister - he says in a small voice that sounds unnatural in him.
-No, you didn't. Willa's father killed your sister.
-If I lose you too, I don't know what will become of me- Eric admits in the same morose voice that is driving Pam up the walls.
-Then let me in. I've had enough of you pushing me away because you think it's fucking noble or you think you can do everything or something ridiculous like that.
Maybe she's just hopeless when it comes to him. She really hopes another month or two doesn't make Tara hate her more.