Useless

Chapter 4: Sidewalks of Stone

Craig Manning remembered the last time he had done this. It ended in a big flaming shit pile, he recalled perfectly, but he found himself doing it again. It was something about how her skirt was riding high on her thigh, and how his voice cracked on a song he knew perfectly. Her brown eyes slowly made their way up from the paper she had been looking at until they met his. Her red bangs canopied them just enough to make her seem even more mysterious and out of his league. He needed a glass of cold water.

She placed her hand on his thigh, and he knew in that instant that she was his. He forgot his reasoning and logic, a usual event in the life of Craig Manning. Later on, he would have the most biting insults screamed at him, but he wasn't thinking of anything but her. He felt empowered to simply be next to her, and she was offering him the chance to get even closer. He knew no guy could turn her down. Suddenly, the boundaries of relationships and their small minded peers seemed to be things of a world of which they refused to take part. He placed his hand in her tangled mane and somehow pressed it against her neck. With all the confidence he could muster, he pulled her closer to him until her lips, tasting of pina coladas, finally met his. He moved his guitar to the floor so her body could press up against him, causing thoughts he knew by his shaky morals weren't allowed. But he rebelled against his morals, and he rebelled against all that he knew in the fateful kiss. She rubbed her hand upwards against her fishnets, causing a sound that drove every doubt out of Craig's head. He couldn't think. He couldn't breathe. He was completely and utterly wrapped up in the moment.

He didn't think to realize that this girl, this innocent girl in her plaid uniform skirt and her school girl braids, could be tricking him into a relationship. He didn't realize how lonely she had become and how deeply she had sunk into depression after the sudden absence of one of his oldest friends, Sean Cameron. He didn't realize how much Ellie envied his relationship with Ashley, and how she decided to do the most devious of acts one girl could do to another girl as soon as she heard the news that the break-up was official. Every step she took had become as calculated as a chess move. Every piercing look and every flirtatious smile hid sinister motives and a craving for destruction that finally showed its evil face on a warm September afternoon.

Ellie dug her tongue into his throat, hoping to claim his soul if possible. His hands trembled where he had rested them, an inch above her knee. She heard the door click open and couldn't help but smile against Craig's lips. She checked the clock above Craig's head. Right on time. She knew she could bet anything on Ashley's punctuality.

The next few minutes were a blur of obscenities and tears. Ellie looked on as Ashley viciously attacked Craig with her words and her fists, with Craig narrowly avoiding the blows. Ashley then turned to the girl who she had thought to be her best friend. But Ellie just looked on with her trademark sinister smile. Ashley needed her now, the most she had ever needed a friend, to be comforting and offer some hope or solace, but it only added to her heartbreak that Ellie had been involved, in a most deviant way, in the crime. More than that, Ashley later realized, Ellie had set the whole thing up. Ellie only wanted to hurt her. But Ellie didn't care. All she cared about was that on that fateful warm September day, she walked out of Degrassi Community School with her fingers firmly intertwined with Craig Manning's. All she cared was that she had finally accomplished her goal and gotten her man. And it didn't matter to her how many lives she had devastated in the process.

.:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. C.E .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:.

5 Years Later

I got out of the cab and slammed the door shut. I'm pissed off. I fucking hate taxis, not to mention the fact that I'm now 20 poorer all because Ellie decided to be BFF's with my ex-girlfriend. I forced myself to trudge up her sidewalk. 'This is the last place in the world I want to be,' played on repeat in my head like a broken record.

"Craig!" I heard coming from the side of the house. I stopped abruptly and turned to the owner of the voice. A very adult looking Spinner Mason, clad in a polo shirt and a golf jacket? Oh fucking hell, you've got to be kidding me.

"Hey Spin," I answered back, "or is it Gavin?" I gave his outfit the obvious once over.

He laughed a hearty businessman laugh. What the fuck did Ashley do to him? "No, no, to my friends and Ash, I'm still Spinner."

Well good, cause if you weren't, I'd have nothing left to live for. Fucking spare me. "So are the girls already here?" I asked, changing the subject as best as I could.

"Inside, yea, I just came out here for a smoke break."

"You smoke?" I asked incredulously. Hasn't he been defiled by the reports that smoking kills yet?

"Don't you?" he asked back. I nodded for lack of anything else to do. Of course I smoke, I'm the kid who ran his life into the gutter at age 16 and hasn't looked back yet. But luckily he doesn't ask what I smoke. Because it sure as hell isn't weak ass cigarettes. "I'm glad I caught you out here actually," he said. "The thing is, I don't have a lot of guy friends..." Oh my God, he was hitting on me! Spinner! He reached into his pocket. He was going to pull out a condom. Run, Craig, run far away. Instead, he pulled out a piece of paper. It was pretty. Too pretty. White lace trimmed the edges. What was going on here? "And, so, I wanted to ask you to be my best man."

"Spin," the word came out with a choking gasp for air. This is your life. This is your life on drugs. "You're getting married?"

"I know," he said, patting my back. "But it's Ashley, man. There's something about that chick."

"Did she say she wouldn't fuck you until you gave her a ring? Is that it?"

"Craig, man, I know you're jealous."

"Jealous, eh? Spin, I'm not jealous. I'm with Ellie."

"So was I last night. I know that you feel so unfulfilled in life-"

"God, Spin, don't tell me that!"

He looked around dumbfounded. He always had that goddamn look on his face. If only, just once, I could have smacked it off of him. I clenched my fists and released them. So much tension and high strung energy. "Listen," he said, "I'd love to stand out here and argue with you, but it's freezing. Let's just go inside. You can get back to me on the offer."

God, I wished I was high. Just a little bit of something, anything, that could get me through this dinner. I kept giving Ellie the evil eye, but she didn't notice or didn't care. Fucking slut. I wished, just once, that I would have the balls to walk away from her. What kind of relationship was this, anyway?

It was incredibly awkward for me, to say the least. And I thought yesterday was bad. Toby and Jeff had discussions about Chloe, who sat there and, I'd find out later, made Ashley and Ellie feel like total pigs for eating all of their salads. She was dumb as a fucking door knob was all that I cared to find out. She hailed from England, which was why she had the fucking dumbest accent ever. As soon as she said England, Ashley looked over at me like a guilty dog. Oh, get over it Kerwin. I didn't make eye contact. I wouldn't give her that satisfaction.

By the end of the night, I had accomplished my goal in getting Ellie alone in the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the bathtub with her legs opened just so. I averted my eyes. I needed to vent my frustration for once, and I couldn't succumb to the blinding power Ellie had over me.

I got closer to her so I could whisper my yells. "Was he good, Ellie? Was he fucking worth it?"

"Are you talking about Spinner? Why are you so mad? I told you I was going to try to get him."

"Is this some kind of sick game to you, Ellie? They're getting married!"

"I know," she answered. "I'm the maid of honor."

"And you've slept with the groom. Perfect."

"Come on. You'd sleep with that Chloe bitch."

"No, Ellie. The thought didn't even cross my mind. Maybe it's because I kept looking at the eyes Spinner was making at you. He was fucking acting like he owned you. I guess he's right, though. Any guy with a twenty and a boner owns you, Ms. Nash."

"Oh please," she said easily. "I'm so much better than a twenty."

I looked up at her. Her eyes were locked on the wall behind my back. She's so beautiful. Why did she do this to herself? Couldn't she, for once, see what she meant to me? See what she's done to me? "I don't want you to strip anymore."

"What, Craig, you don't like money?"

"It's not worth it. I'll get another job, and you can get something that pays less. We'll manage. We always have."

"That's sweet."

Thank God. She's going to do it. No more restless nights wondering if she got raped, or worse. No more thoughts of preppy classmates copping a feel before work. Maybe this was the beginning of our road to marriage and children and a dog inside our white picket fence... "So, you're going to do it? You're going to quit?"

She looked up at me with the saddest eyes that I couldn't help but reach out and hold her. Her small body convulsed with tears and sobs. "Craig, I have to break up with you."