AN: In which Jake gets drunk and freaks out. Just making that clear! -This bullshit is of course not something he'd ever think while sober.
Sitting in his hotel room alone that night, it felt strangely empty. Scary how fast he had gotten used to Chris being here. He got up and walked over to the window and opened it, looking out over what was left of Belgrade. He turned the phone in his hand, took a deep breath and texted Chris, he didn't want to call in case he was doing something important. He didn't know what to say so he just wrote, 'hey there handsome.'
The reply was instant, 'Hey there kitten'
Jake smiled at his phone, it knocked on his door, and he pocketed the phone to answer. He knew it wasn't Chris, but a small part of him sort of wished it was. It was a short chubby man with a black duffel bag. "Package to Muller." He said.
"Tell Koryavin thank you," Jake said and took the bag, closing the door in the chubby man's face. He tossed the bag on the bed and unzipped it; it held a rifle and a manila envelope, most likely a new map. He picked up the rifle and studied it, a fucking 527 Varmint, but he supposed that was what they could get their hands on with this short notice, that or they were pulling a fast one.
He sighed and put it back into the bag. He got his phone out and texted while he walked back to the window, 'Just wanted to say -' He frowned and deleted it; he didn't know what to say without saying too needy or corny. And maybe he should just give in and say what he wanted to say, 'wish you were here', he texted and hit send before he could change his mind.
The answer came shortly, 'I wish I was there too' Maybe it was a good thing that Chris couldn't see his face, the way he lit up in a horribly undignified smile. God how he wanted this to be real, he wanted to trust his instincts when they told him that no matter how weird it seemed, that Chris was just as much falling in love as he was. Jake sighed; just this one job and he could do what he loved for a long time, just kicking back and be with Chris when he had time. He just had to take out this one man, no sweat, right? 'Just wanted to say goodnight' he texted.
Seconds later a text ticked in, 'Are you in bed? Naked?' Jake laughed at that and kicked off his boots and closed the window before getting into bed fully dressed. Winter was on its way and the room wasn't heated yet. 'I'm not gonna sext you' he sent back, waiting for the reply that came instantly, 'aw why not? I'm cold and stuck looking over a bunch of trees and rocks – alone'
Jake rolled over on his back staring at the message, wondering if he should just comply, not that he would know how the hell to dirty talk over text messages. 'Goodnight Redfield' he texted imagining that Chris would be mock put off. The next message came pretty close after and said 'goodnight =(' "Oh my god, he even did the smiley thing" Jake groaned, and put the phone away and curled up in bed, he pulled the pillow close and inhaled, he could still smell Chris' aftershave on it, but that just made him miss him even more.
Eventually he had fallen asleep, the next morning he had not looked at the text from Chris that had come in while he slept, he just turned his phone off and checked the varmint one last time, picking up the file from his other bag, and slipped out of his hotel room, in his head he was memorizing notes, little dots on paper that would become music if played right, like he always did when he had to focus on something unpleasant.
He parked his bike a click from where he had reckoned he could get a vantage point, he hiked as close as he dared and slipped up the hill like a ghost to settle into a nook in the hillside. Silently he collected the rifle and carefully looked down the scope; Jake could see the camp just fine. He was in luck that they were focused on mindless mutated killing machines, and not on counter attacks from a person with any brain cells left. He aimlessly sought the camp to see if he could see Chris, but he couldn't. Maybe he was sleeping still because there were not a whole lot of people moving about, he turned his head and looked at the file once more, to make sure he was looking for the right person.
A couple of hours of unpleasant camping out Jake finally saw his target. This would have been so much easier if he had been able to just sneak in and kill him and get out, not caring if anyone saw him. Jake followed him with the scope, the Target waved at someone, and Jake almost took the shot when Chris came into the scope's vision. "Shit." he bit his lip, watching his target interact with Chris who apparently reported back, cause he was standing around for what seemed like bloody hours.
Finally he left, and there was a clear shot, Jake's gloves creaked in the complete silence when he slowly pulled the trigger, his target went down like someone just pulled the strings from a marionette. And Jake crawled backwards as the alarm sounded. He sprinted down the hill, leaving the folder and the rifle he couldn't be caught with either. He had already made a story if he was caught, then he was here for Chris. He hadn't quite worked out his lie for knowing where Chris would be, but he'd come up with something if he had to. He tossed himself on his bike and sped off, he didn't slow down before he couldn't hear men yelling or the camp alarm anymore.
He had done it, it was over and he had come away clean.
He didn't turn on his phone until he was back at the hotel. There were two calls from Sherry and four texts from Chris. He went to the same diner where he played the piano yesterday, sitting down at a table by the window, shit like this always made him paranoid. He ordered a large portion of whatever they had, and a beer from the smiling waitress. He looked at the messages, mainly sweet reminders of how Chris wished he was back in Belgrade; he even called him babe in the last. He decided to text him back both because he really needed to, and because it would help his cover up. So he texted, 'hey babe, left without getting my phone charged. Didn't see your messages till now. I am at the diner we were eating at last night, think they have the same special.' he hit send, and felt bad that Chris was probably running up and down those hills trying to find the sniper, or maybe they already found his gear?
He smiled sweetly at the waitress as she placed the bowl in front of him. She went away and he called up Koryavin, "It's done." He just said.
"I will arrange your payment as soon as I hear from my mole," The contact said.
"Fair enough, just don't wait for too long." Jake said with a badly hidden threat in his tone and then hung up. Chris still hadn't texted him back.
Digging into his food Jake tried to push all dark thought away, it was over and done and soon he would hopefully have a bunch of money, maybe he should ask Chris to take a couple of days off and they could go somewhere just the two of them, that would be nice. He entertained himself with fantasies about where they could go, maybe to the mountains or something where there'd be no one else around for miles. They'd never make it to the summit, they'd fuck at the foot of the mountain and never get further. That thought both amused him and warmed him. He missed Chris.
The phone chimed and he couldn't help but to be slightly disappointed that it was Sherry. He put down his spoon and picked up. "Hey Supergirl, is America still standing?" He said looking out the dirty diner front window on the street, people walking past.
"Have you heard from Chris?" Sherry asked, "I can't raise him, and Claire heard there had been some sort of terrorist act, the entire Belgrade office is closed down."
"I haven't." Jake said wishing he could tell her that Chris was just fine.
"If you hear from him, would you get back to me? Claire is really worried, and so am I." Sherry said, "She said he had been acting weird lately, do you think he has been acting like he wasn't himself? I mean I know you don't know him that well. But still."
"He seems pretty normal to me." Jake said, "He's still a mountain of jerk." He grinned a little to let Sherry know he was joking.
"That's not what I meant," Sherry chuckled a little at Jake's silly comment. "Seriously Jake, Claire is worried that he might have started drinking again, and I just wondered if it was something you would have noticed."
"Err.. " Jake was a little confused, "Drinking? No not that I know of." Jake smacked his lips, "Chris has a drinking problem?"
Sherry went silent in the other end, "Forget I said that, if he wanted you to know, I suppose he would have told you." She paused, "I mean I know he went to find you cause I asked him to, I sorta.. Eh, sorta thought you could both do with a friend."
"So you played matchmaker, I get it." Jake said, "It's fine Sherry, really. Maybe you were right, that's all."
"I was?" Sherry asked surprised and then chuckled, "So you guys meet?"
"Every now and then we have dinner and talk about the weather and you." He smiled, knowing she probably wouldn't believe it.
"Smart ass." Sherry shot back.
"So tell me, why are you worried that he started to drink?" Jake said rolling his eyes he added, "Jesus Christ Sherry this is not something two guys talk about, we don't sit about having cafe latté and talk feelings and interior design."
"Okay," Sherry sighed, "When Jill was presumed dead, Chris went under the radar and drowned himself in alcohol. It apparently took the B.S.A.A. A very long time to track him down."
"Something happened to this Jill?" Jake asked, not sure he liked the sour taste of jealousy in his mouth, even if he had no goddamn clue who she was.
"No she's fine." Sherry said, "I don't really know how to tell you this, maybe I shouldn't.. It's pretty personal, and maybe something he ought to -"
"Spill it." Jake said holding his breath, not sure if he really wanted to hear it, there was just something in Sherry's voice that told him it was serious and bad.
"Piers," Sherry finally said in a defeated tone, "Claire have been waiting for him to react to his death, and then lately he has been sounding really strange, like he had bizarre mood swings. That's why."
He had heard that name before, it didn't really ring a bell. But Jake didn't have to say anything, Shelly took pity on his silence, "You met him, actually he wanted to shoot you."
"That other guy at the underwater facility?" Jake asked in a whisper, "The pup was his - his lover?"
"Yes." Sherry sighed sadly. "It must have been horribly traumatic for him the way he died and he had just buried him when he chose to leave for Edonia again – well that was a part of why I thought it was good he found someone to talk to, someone that didn't talk about 'that', if you get me."
"I get it." Jake said, his appetite gone and he pushed the offending bowl away for the waitress to take.
"You're not gonna make me regret telling you this, are you?" Sherry asked a little worried. "I mean it's our secret right? Claire says that he doesn't want Jill to know, so you won't tell anyone -"
"Don't worry, cupcake," Jake smiled the fakest of all fake smiles, "You know me, I don't care what rocks Redfield's boat, as long as I don't have to hug him."
"Good," Sherry let out a relieved sound, "You'd still let me know if you hear from him right?"
"Sure thing Supergirl." Jake said, "Take care."
"You too." Sherry reluctantly hung up, and Jake just clapped the phone shut, sitting with it against his cheek for long minutes staring out into nothing. Jill, Piers, what the.. he didn't even know what to make of it, but what he knew was that he thought they had something special, a terrible truth dawned on him – what if Chris would go home to Jill when he left Edonia? Because he would eventually, of course he would. Jake let out a pained stuttering breath, close to a silent sob without any other signs of his distress than his fingers white from clutching the phone, and his lip quivering. This was why he didn't let people in, this was why he had never wanted to fall in love. Maybe he should just wait around for his payment and then leave, as in leave for real, go somewhere where Chris or the B.S.A.A. Would never find him. It had never been real, he had to repeat that to himself, it had never been real. All the things he had dared to dream it was just that, dreams. His own silly romantic daydreams that he had allowed himself to believe in for a split-second, just to have it all taken.
"Did you not like the food?" The waitress asked softly as she took the almost full bowl.
"It was fine." He said without looking at her. "Give me a bottle of whatever booze you have, I'll be taking it with me."
"I don't think that -"
"Just do it!" He suddenly slammed his hand down into the table, scaring the waitress, "I don't care what it costs, just give it to me." He added a little less aggressive.
"Just a second." The waitress excused herself and left.
There'd be no mountain trip, no walking somewhere hand in hand. No nothing, all those sweet words, all just for.. Jake wasn't exactly sure what Chris' game was, but unlike any other time someone had tricked him, he didn't want to put a bullet through his brain, not yet at least. He mostly just wanted to hide and never be found.
"I'm sorry but it's pretty expens -"
"I said I don't care." Jake finally looked up at the waitress and snatched the bottle as he stood, pushing some money against her shoulder as he passed her, fleeing the diner. Suddenly he wished that Chris knew that he was the one that had shot his commanding officer, that way he would never have to deal with him again.
He unscrewed the lid and had already finished one third of the bottle as he made it back to the hotel. There was no one around, so he went into the lounge where there stood this old brown piano. He had stayed at this hotel a lot and had never actually seen anyone use this lounge, so he placed the bottle on the top and sat down, not really playing, more like just letting his fingers run over the cold tangents, it calmed him. "Jake my friend," He said to himself, reaching for the bottle, "You're a fucking idiot." In an insane moment he missed his mother terribly, and wanted nothing but to have her to lean up against and she'd stroke his cheek telling him not to be sad.
At some point he had fallen asleep on the piano, and woke when the front desk clerk gently shook his shoulder and asked him if he wouldn't be more comfortable in his bed. Jake mumbled something and left for his room, the bottle was empty so he left it on the piano. He fell into his bed vaguely noting that housecleaning had been there and his bed didn't smell like Chris' aftershave anymore, but of storage and industrial bleach.
When he woke hours later his head was pounding fiercely. He rolled over and groaned, the pressure in his chest had not gone away, and he had a feeling that it would be very long before that dulled. "Suck it up, man." He told himself, and sat up in bed with a labored huff. He saw his phone blinked with unread messages, the sweet thrill was exchanged for something that resembled timidness when he picked up the phone and checked the messages, he didn't want to read them, he didn't know if he was that good an actor that he could just pretend that Sherry had never told him anything. There was a couple of messages from Chris, first one read 'all sorts of crazy shit happened, so Ima be home two days early,' the next read 'back in Belgrade, where are you?' and the last message just said 'Jake?'
Jake didn't know what the hell to do with this, he had thought it would be the start of something great when Chris came back and he got his money from Koryavin, but it wasn't. It was the beginning of the end, and he knew it. There was no way he could hide this from Chris. He felt mostly like a cheap whore, or those mail order brides when he had to admit that somewhere deep inside he just wanted to see Chris and wrap up inside him till he forgot all this sadness, that Chris could make it go away for a little while with soft words and firm hands. He finally texted 'Hung-over.' and flipped the phone shut, getting out of his clothes to take a bath.
He rested his throbbing head against the tile wall trying to collect his thoughts. Why did he have this unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach? What the hell had he done in his stupor? Apart of feeling ridiculously sorry for himself, he remember that he had felt like the sky had caved in, but he couldn't really remember why. Ah yes it was of course the whole Jill thing, Jake chuckled, why the hell had that been such a big deal?
He turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, okay so maybe he had some issues with trusting that Chris really liked him, but what the hell was up with the whole lost lover thing? Jake shook his head amused over himself as he pulled his pants back on. Chris had not told him about the pup or the woman because it was not important, that was it. He remembered the short fella behind the desk waking him, but as far as he recalled he hadn't talked to him, so that was good. Maybe he should lay off the booze when he was pumped full of adrenaline and insecurities. "Get a fucking hold of yourself man." He said out into the room, pulling his shirt over his head. A text message chimed. He flipped the phone up to see who it was, Chris had texted him 'Hungry? Meet me in the diner from the other day in twenty.' - And as was it an answer, Jake's stomach growled.