Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read my story and a special thank you to each person who has taken the additional time to leave a review! Your words of encouragement and praise mean the world... I'm a little scared to write more for this story because I'm unsure where the show is taking the characters for the next couple of episodes. If you've seen the previews or read spoilers, you know what I'm talking about!

Chapter 4

Peering into the flickering screen of his laptop, Julian was stuck. He was trying to figure out the next line of dialogue for a scene in the movie and he couldn't move past it. Of course, it didn't help his writer's block that the scene was a total parallel of his situation with Brooke. Sighing deeply in frustration, he could only shake his head and put his hand to his forehead. He had to will this headache from turning into a migraine. His head and heart knew that this scene would continue to be a problem until he figured out how to do the same with Brooke.

Thinking of Brooke, his head pounded a little more intensely. She had been great working on the film, but it was somewhat torturous to see her each day on the set with Alexander lurking in the shadows. He believed her when she said that they were just working together, but he saw the way Alexander watched Brooke from a distance and he knew lust and admiration when he saw it. Alexander looked at Brooke the same way he did when he first came to Tree Hill, and it was only a matter of time before he and Brooke were together. He couldn't help but worry that Alexander would be at the right place at the right time and their working relationship would blossom into something more.

Shaking his head to try and remove the thoughts of Brooke and Alexander, he was surprised to hear the voice he still heard in his dreams each night, "Hey." Looking up at Brooke he still felt shitty for his role in her vulnerable defensive pose. She clutched the notebook to her chest almost as a physical shield to prevent him from penetrating her delicate heart. No matter how upset she is or how disappointed she is with their situation, she always asks about him even if it is in an adorably awkward kind of way, "How's everything going?"

He takes her innocent question and answers truthfully, happy for the opportunity to share with her something that is more than symbolic of their own relationship. So instead of the customary, "Fine," Julian tells her that he is having difficulty finding the words for a particular scene, he is trying to find honesty with the characters. Maybe by discussing this dilemma with Brooke, he can find clarity for the scene.

Surprisingly, Brooke closes the notebook and moves it to her side. "What's the scene?" she inquires, and Julian can't help but be a little hopeful at her interest in his problem.

Slowly standing, now this is the delicate part. How does he get Brooke's help and express himself to Brooke about more than just the movie. She knows the movie, she's read the script, but they are both living particular parts of it. and he hates like hell that this is so close to them. "It's the part where he leaves her." His voice is lower than normal and he tries to convey to Brooke his regret that it had to come to that, that he doesn't agree with the decision, that he misses her g-ddamn it!

"Oh... well, I think all girls understand the moment there's another girl." She is stronger and more straightforward than he anticipated. He can't help but be a little pissed that she still thinks this is about Alex. He knows that his face shows his frustration and his hurt. He wants her to trust him, he wants her to love him, and to fight for him and to fucking forget about fucking Alex already! "So maybe it's more about what they don't say..." her voice begins to trail off and she knows that they are talking about a lot more than a stupid scene in a stupid movie. She is talking about him and he isn't going to just sit back and let it go.

Moving out from behind his desk, Julian starts to walk towards Brooke. "Actually, I was thinking he doesn't say enough, you know? I mean she's got to know that he loved her. If she doesn't, he has to find the words to convince her." He was afraid to go any closer to her, because if he moved closer he would have no choice, he would have to take her into his arms. He would have to confess to her all the rambling thoughts ransacking his mind.

"And what are those words?" Brooke continued to look skeptical and hurt. She doesn't look impressed by his tentative and blatant words. He doesn't know what to say to her, other than to come out and say it. But hasn't he already told her? Hasn't he already said everything a boy could possibly say to a girl for her to know that he was in hopelessly and madly in love?

"I don't know yet, but I'm going to find them." He paused for a moment and tilted his head slightly, and he flashed her the smallest hint of his grin. "I mean, the movie depends on it." He shrugged at her, hoping his eyes and tone and lips convinced her that he was talking about so much more than a movie. That he realized he had to convince her, that it was his responsibility to reach out to her... he just couldn't yet, but he was working on it. He would find the words and he would find the actions that would convince her to come back to him.

"Right... well, then... I should get back to work." With a quick flash of the dimples he prayed all day he would see, she turned her back and was on her way out the door. He didn't move to return to the computer until he heard the faint click of the front door to the office. He watched her retreating form, and he watched the empty space she once occupied. He watched for a couple of minutes, as if willing her to return to him. Damn it, he missed that girl.

When Alex emerged from the makeshift dressing "room" behind a curtain, Julian didn't know if he should laugh and hug Brooke or fire her. Alex was wearing an ill-fitting outfit that was perhaps the frumpiest thing imaginable. He turned to Brooke and wished that his tone didn't sound like a plea for her to make Alex sexier. "I mean, not slutty, just sexy," he quickly amended. He could only imagine what Brooke would do if she thought he wanted to see Alex sexy! He could feel his head begin to throb again as he could imagine the difficulties of navigating the tension between the two women.

"Yeah." Brooke's tense agreement made Julian's neck stiffen as he watched her walk over to Alex. Watching Brooke, he saw her avoid making eye contact with Alex as she suggested tucking the shirt and began adjusting the sleeves. Brooke suddenly stopped and began to unroll the sleeves. "No, I like the sleeves up," he wanted to be supportive of Brooke's attempts of working with Alex and taking his gentle criticism. He thought the sleeves looked better up than completely hanging down as they did now.

"Slutty..." Brooke waved her hands as she dropped down to kneel in front of Alex. She began adjusting the hem of the skirt and seemed to be lost in her mental adjustments of Alex's wardrobe.

Trusting Brooke's judgment, Julian agreed "Okay, whatever you think. Rehearsal in 20?" He could tell by the sounds behind them he was needed elsewhere. He wanted to show Brooke that he trusted her and that he believed in her vision, but he also had to check on some other more pressing issues. He was slightly disappointed that they had to dissolve their earlier tension into a simple all work and business relationship.

Watching Alex on the monitor for what seemed like the hundredth take, was extremely frustrating for Julian. He knew that Paul was unimpressed and that he was being watched closely by everyone. He had put literally everything he had into this film. He had sold most of his possessions to finance the film, and he lost (hopefully only temporarily) Brooke all to make this film. He knew the film had to be successful in order to recoup any of the losses he made, especially the losses he made with Brooke.

He needed this film to be successful because of everything he invested, and because of everything that seemed dangerously precarious and dependent on this movie. He looked nervously over at his father and was not surprised to see the disappointment on Paul's face. It was a facial expression he had seen many times over the course of his lifetime. He knew that his father was on his side and wanted to support him, but Alex's current work was making it really difficult. He was afraid that if Alex and this film collapsed, his newfound relationship with his father would too.

He walked up to Alex to work with her on the delivery of her lines. There was so much about her vulnerability that reminded him of Brooke, and unlike Brooke, he could help Alex. Alex welcomed his assistance and his support. He had to show Alex unconditional support and a gentleness that she had never experienced before. He knew that Alex could perform this scene, hell this entire fucking movie, because this was her life. These were Alex's words, and she was a talented actress. Alex had just as much, if not more, riding on the success of this film. He just had to make sure she didn't let her destructive self doubt sabotage their efforts.

Working with Alex on her scene, Julian could feel all eyes on him. He knew his father was watching and was impressed, but he also knew that Brooke was watching from the shadows of wardrobe. Unfortunately, he knew his attention and kindness to Alex could be misinterpreted as intimacy by Brooke. He gave a silent prayer that Brooke could see past what was in front of her, he was willing her to see how important this was for him, and to look beyond the closeness he shared with Alex. He reached out to Alex to hug her at the end of the scene, and he couldn't help but think of Brooke instead. He wished that she was in his arms, and that he could prove to her that Alex was only a friend. He saw the pride that was in his father's eyes, and he was grateful. But he wanted his father to see that Alex was more than what he thought, because if he could get Paul behind Alex then he wouldn't have to try so hard. He could relax... he could breathe.

Intent on camera angles and direction, he didn't even notice the obnoxious Australian ass come in through his set. "Nice shot Hitchcock! It's Vertigo right?" Alexander and Julian exchanged looks as Alexander made his way through the set and towards Brooke. He really hated that guy and he couldn't wait until his business was over and he was back down under. What did Brooke even see in this guy?! He was an obvious ass... he couldn't be that talented... Seriously, Brooke couldn't find some other dude to help her with the fashion line.

Julian tried really hard to ignore Alexander's effect on Brooke. He probably could've ignored the two designers if it weren't for Brooke's enthusiastic squealing at whatever piece that Alexander brought along with him. Julian tried to be subtle as he looked towards the back of the set to observe their interactions with each other. Hey Beauty??? Who says shit like that?! Julian knew that he had no real right to be jealous, but it pissed him off to no end that Alexander had little nicknames for HIS Brooke. In an attempt to break up their little chummy time, Julia decided to send Alex back to distract the two. He knew that Alexander was interested in Brooke, but he also saw the way he checked out Alex when he entered the room.

What the hell?! Brooke quickly sent Alex right back to him for the scene, and once again she was alone with her boy toy. Julian positioned himself closer to the back of the set so that he could possibly hear what the two were talking about. Unfortunately, the sound from the crew and the cameras drowned out Brooke and Alexander. Damn it! He knew he should've learned to read lips when he was younger... He tried to distract himself by fidgeting with the script and asking a question for the tenth time, but he was completely focused when he saw Alexander lean in and kiss Brooke's cheek. What the fuck was that?! She's fucking making out with her new boy on HIS movie set?! That was completely uncool and uncalled for... he could feel his disappointment and anger start to rise inside of him. He needed to call action and get lost in the movie or he was going to go to jail for assault.

He knew that Brooke was waiting for him, but he really didn't care. He was going to make her wait all night, if necessary. Besides, he really needed to calm down before he said something that he would totally regret later. Walking up to her chair, he noticed she was impatiently tapping her fingernails on the clothes she had pulled for his approval. He had every intention of being professional and keeping the conversation to the clothes, but as soon as he saw her face looking up at him he couldn't help himself. Crossing his arms across his chest he stated, "So Alexander's kind of a tool, huh?"

She was not amused, "If by tool, you mean good designer..." She held up the two choices for Alex's next costume. Julian quickly chose one while simultaneously stating, "Yeah, tool." He couldn't stop the small smirk that was across his face. He was daring her to defend the asshole, and his blatant macking on her on his set.

She folded the clothes in her lap, and had a sarcastic grin on her face. "Wow! And I was just about to tell you that you did a really good job with Alex in that scene today." Her demeanor changed from angry to sincere and sad in a matter of seconds. Suddenly Julian was the one he felt like a tool. "And then maybe I was going to tell you, that you're a natural." She was actually complimenting him, and it wasn't filled with venom and it wasn't filled with jealousy towards Alex. How did their roles get reversed? How did things change to where he is the jealous and insecure person in the relationship? She was always supportive of his career, but this? This was beyond anything she had done before, because he knew how much it hurt her to see him work so closely with Alex.

"Don't be so hard on yourself..." Damn, she is still being supportive and encouraging. She should be screaming at him for attacking and insinuating something between her and Alexander...

"Is this too hard on you?" He asked rather sheepishly of her. He knew that it was, no matter her answer. He knew that a decent person wouldn't ask their former girlfriend to work with him and the girl she thought was a problem.

"I'm okay." She shrugged her shoulder and ducked her down slightly. Her eyes were on the brink of an emotional break. She was so delicate in her beauty and in her strength, but then again she was a hell of a lot stronger than he could ever be.

Suddenly Paul approached from behind Julian, and once again a moment that could've proven to be a gateway to more was quickly interrupted. Brooke quickly seized the opportunity to head off to work, and for one of the first times since Paul agreed to help him make the movie, Julian resented his father's presence.

He didn't need his father to tell him the obvious. That he shouldn't have sold his car, that he shouldn't have put everything into this movie, that he shouldn't have banked so much on an unreliable talent like Alex. But that was a little late... too bad he hadn't heard this little advice months ago before he got caught up in Alex's life. Julian rubbed his head and forced those thoughts out of his head, he couldn't spend time he didn't have wondering how different his life would be if he had never met Alex. He didn't want to resent her, because he knew that if he hadn't gotten involved with her, he would be with Brooke. He missed Brooke so badly that if he didn't keep himself in check, he would lash out Alex and Paul and he needed both of them.

After a long day of filming, Julian needed a break but knew he was hours away from actually being able to take one. Looking around the set, he caught a glimpse of Jamie sitting in one of the director's chairs playing around with the footage from the camera he gave him earlier. Walking towards him he playfully asked, "How's my first AD doing? Did you get some good footage?" Jamie grinned at him and offered to show him his footage as Julian sat down next to him.

He should have smelled a trap as he sat down next to Jamie, or at least seen the mischievous smile on the young child's face. Of course the little brat would film a lot of his Aunt Brooke! Julian watched in awe as he saw Brooke's face transform across the screen as she greeted her godson. "She's pretty great." Julian had no trouble admitting the obvious truth to Jamie. Watching her joyful face, Julian felt his own lips turn up into a smile that was unfortunately bittersweet. He loved seeing how happy Brooke was around her godson, but it instantly reminded him that it had been a long time since he was around a joyful Brooke. He was also reminded that Brooke would've made an amazing mother and that it was immensely unfair that she wouldn't be able to have children.

Julian knew that he may very well never be the reason that Brooke Davis smiled with such excitement and pure joy. He felt a sharp pain of loss that he couldn't share that with her or that he may never see it again. In a moment of genius philanthropy, he decided to let Jamie keep the small video camera. He instructed his "AD" to take more videos when he came on set. He knew that every Jamie would be likely to film Brooke, and that meant he would get to see that smile of Brooke's every time he looked at Jamie's footage.

It was a fucking long day! He had forgotten how exhausting it could be to work on a film, and it was especially tiring when he was the one completely in charge. He was turning off the lights and the monitors, when he decided to take a moment to just walk around and take it all in. He couldn't believe that he was the freaking director of a film that he was producing with his previously estranged father, his currently former girlfriend, and recovering addict/attempted suicide surviver. It was more than a little overwhelming...

He heard Brooke's heels approaching towards him in the middle of the stage. She stepped under one of the overhead lights, and she simply took his breath away. He had been well aware of her beauty throughout the day, but she positively glowed beneath the halo of the light. "I'm heading out..." she gave a little motion towards the doors of the studio. The light didn't just illuminate her beauty, but it seemed to expose all of her insecurities and her little weaknesses for him to see. "Are you okay?" She asked before leaving.

He couldn't believe that after everything he has put her through, she continues to think of his well-being. Had he ever met another woman like her?? "Yeah... tired."

"Well, for what it's worth... I think you're doing great." Her words hung in the air and he felt guilt and a loss so deep he couldn't express it in words or in actions.

"Thanks... coming from you, that means everything." He wanted to say so much more, but he was so tired he didn't know if he would make sense. Hell, he wasn't entirely sure he wasn't dreaming right now. Her eyes were so sad, and for a moment he thought she was as lost as he was without her. He needed to find the words, he had to find the words to make her realize what he felt and what he knew he lost.

"Hey, Brooke?" She turned her head towards him. Her eyes questioning and encouraging him to say what she needed to hear. She seemed to be willing him to do some sort of action to fix this problem like he fixed a thousand other problems today on the set. "I miss you."

He knew that wasn't the magic phrase or exactly what she needed, but it was the G-d's honest truth. He fucking missed her with every cell of his body. He missed her, he missed her, he fucking needed her.

"Coming from you, that means everything too." Their eyes continued to love one another from across the stage. He was impressed by the conviction in her voice, and the tenderness in her eyes. He tried like hell to keep the tears from escaping his eyes, and kept looking straight into her. He wouldn't be the one to break contact first, he wanted her to know he was here, right here and he wasn't leaving and he wasn't pushing her away again.

Almost but not quite grinning at one another, Julian continued to hold Brooke's gaze. For a brief moment, he thought she might close the distance between the two of them and kiss him. For a brief moment, he thought HE might close the distance between the two of them and kiss her. He was contemplating maybe just a small kiss on the cheek like the one he saw Alexander give her earlier, but then she dropped her head and turned to leave.

He watched her figure retreat like she always does, and he was left alone with the choices he had made. He missed Brooke, but he made a choice and he made the movie his top priority. He decided that his commitment to Alex and this movie was more important than the commitment he had made with Brooke, so could he really blame her that she left? Watching her shadow and straining to hear her fading footsteps, Julian had never regretted a decision so much.