A/N: Hi there, a warning! Hmm. Strange how it's all meant to be sad...these chapters.
I tried carrying the weight of the world. But I only have two hands.
And then one day, she came and took away the weight of the world.
It wasn't that she carried it for me, or that she erased it. She merely stayed, by me and shared with me the burden, the weight; the way she stayed by me, unlike all the men before her ever did.
It was also her smile and laughter that does it - how she'll do shoulder shimmies to tease me into laughing. How she'll turn on my inner prude with her at times inappropriate sharing; but it's all just a tease, or her being an adorable darling.
She works with dead bodies; yet she makes me feel all warm and bubbly.
She fixed my nose once, and she un-scars the scars; she was the glue to the broken pieces of me.
At first I worried, at first I was confused. Who was she? How can this even be? A she? A she...my mother might kill me, and I'll be teased, I'll be less deserving...I'll be, hers.
And that's all I really needed - to be with her.
Often she says, that I'm not a possession, that I'm not a prize, to be won, to be conquered, to be kept; that we're equals, and she'll always stand by me, supporting me - that she has my back.
Constantly she takes care of me; she makes sure that I eat my veggies and gets exercise in. She tells me that she's here, that she cares, that she loves me.
I can tell that she jots down these ideas, these acts; as if they were to be followed through via a manual - the hows on how to love a broken person like Jane Rizzoli.
Until that day when she confided in me, did I understand why she does it. She never just knew how to give love or asks for it when she was younger; but she had learnt, and she shows it constantly. To me. To my family.
I tried carrying the weight of the world. But I only have two hands.
Until I met her, until I met her - my best friend, my best friend for life, my partner - Maura Isles.
She held my hands, and me close to her; and I knew no more weight. I knew only her, and that I loved her. I love her, a woman; I love her, a person, who loves me for me, as I do her.
But now, it's just me again. Me, with my two hands, and the weight of the world I had once tried to carry - abandoned.
For there's a greater weight, a much greater loss upon me - that I wish to shake, to have never experienced - the loss of the hands, that once held mine, will hold me no longer; the loss of her hands, the loss of her - my best friend, my partner.
"Because I was too late Cavanaugh," I had turned in my gun and badge, "I was too late, too weak, and I failed to protect her."
I turned my back on my career, and my work partners, as I walked away with the scary masks from her office. I had her chair delivered, back to my apartment; and my mother makes sure that Bass is fed - I can't be there without Bass's owner.
"She wouldn't have approved of this Jane," her adoptive mother had told me. "You were her friend, her best friend, and her family. You were her pillar," her adoptive mother had confided. "I'm protective too, like you," she had added, "and I protect my daughters." She had repeated her blessings, for a wedding that will never be.
"Your mother took back your resignation letter, and Maura always said that you loved your job, and respected your career," her adoptive mother had patted my shoulder, "think about it detective."
But I can't. I cave before her office chair.
I only have two hands, and none of them are hers.
A/N: Hi there, thank you, for the time~
Chapter's inspired by a post by gettingdesperate and the line, "I tried carrying the weight of the world. But I only have two hands" came with the post.
Thank you, for the time=)