I didn't take to losing quite so well as a child. I hated it. I was the competitive type, dad would say `never mind, better luck next time kid.' To that I would stare at him, of which he would laugh at, I didn't find it funny, losing was never good in my eyes, it showed you were weak, it showed people your lousy obvious tactics, or in this case all the places to prod till I cry. Ultimately losing. How can you be thick skinned one moment and not the next? Sometimes I wish I learned how to turn the other cheek...

Not just somebody but you, Chapter 4.

It proves what can happen when you don't know somebody that well. How much of a bitch they can be. How they can sit there and watch you suffer. Not all are back stabbers, I admit. But you get your fare few. Sadly I was partners with one and a work colleague with the other. A liar and a tart equally make up of as rats. Except I expect rats are a lot cleaner than those two; their dirty and I wish I had seen it before.

It had been a long day, and nothing would make the rest of my day better, than for it to be tomorrow. I was drained and looking forward to sleep, I knew how I was going to go to sleep as it had already started; crying. The tears wouldn't stop falling and I found it hard to see the road. I didn't cry all afternoon once I had learned the truth; I need to get on with work that was my only distraction to stop them. And now I can't stop the tears, you would have thought driving would have been enough of a distraction. But it wasn't, my struggling to see only made it harder to breathe. I had to pull over. A few deep breaths and I nearly had my breathing stable. But the tears still lingered on my cheeks and in the rim of my eyes. Wiping them away I put the radio on; more stupid depressing love songs. I changed the station and settled for an old favourite song of mine. Before I knew it I was pulling off and muttering along with the words.

It was 1989, my thoughts were short my hair was long
Caught somewhere between a boy and man
She was seventeen and she was far from in-between
It was summertime in Northern Michigan
Ahh Ahh Ahh
Ahh Ahh Ahh

Splashing through the sand bar
Talking by the campfire
It's the simple things in life, like when and where
We didn't have no internet
But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair

And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow

Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long

Catching Walleye from the dock
Watching the waves roll off the rocks
She'll forever hold a spot inside my soul
We'd blister in the sun
We couldn't wait for night to come
To hit that sand and play some rock and roll

While we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long

Now nothing seems as strange as when the leaves began to change
Or how we thought those days would never end
Sometimes I'll hear that song and I'll start to sing along
And think man I'd love to see that girl again

I cut the engine off and the music stopped. Silence filling the air. It was nice. Wiping away a few more tears that had fallen, I opened the door and yep there was that stench again. I breathed in for some health unpolluted air and held my breath till I sprayed around the room again. I need to look for a decent place with no foul stenches, and fake front desk girls. I needed some where real. A home, no not a home; I couldn't call a place of my own a home not with only me inside of it. It seemed lonely otherwise.

I brushed my teeth, slipped into some comfy night clothes and started round three of the tears today.

It wasn't the stench that woke me up and it wasn't my alarm; that wasn't due for another ten minutes. Nope it was my phone. And low and behold it's him. Should I answer it? Yes. No. Did I want to answer it? No. Yes. Why? I didn't know. So I gave in and did.

"Good your there, listen..." he started. I wasn't having it.

"No you listen to me, not only have you woke me up, you lied to me and with one of my work colleagues, and did you even stop to think about me?... just don't answer that of course you didn't otherwise..." I trailed off.

"Well I'm sorry I woke you up, just I have a busy schedule today and now was the only time I had free. And I didn't lie to you so I have no idea what you're talking about on that one and umm yeah I guess." He sheepishly admitted.

"Oh look once again your lying and yeah I guess isn't an answer neither a reason as to why you done it." My head hurt a lot, I needed aspirin. I was just getting out of bed when he started speaking again, this time I wasn't listening; I just let him carry on talking. I couldn't be bothered to listen to his excuses. I deserved more than that. Reaching the bathroom the stench was poking his head back through, I couldn't help but think elimination time; but to who was the question him, her or the stench? Hmm tricky...

"Are you there?... hello?... Esme will you answer me!"he shouted. Ouch.

"I do have an ear you know, mind not shouting down it."

"Well how about you use your ears then I wouldn't have to shout to get your damn attention."

"Whatever, what did you actually want?"Rude or not I don't care anymore.

"well I guess you know now so I'm glad that's out there. And wanted to know where you are." He huffed.

"Edward you lied to me, and it's not just somebody that lied to me, it was you so how can you possibly say that you're glad it's out now? You would have told me before if you wanted it out. But no you hurt me instead... And it's none of your business where I am." Hello petty side, where did you come from? Ahh well. It was only now that I realised that I was either being petty or half joking about things. I guess it was easier for me to deal with it that way. It seemed that way at least.

"Esme I have no idea what you are talking about what have I lied to you about, please enlighten me."

"You told me and quote that I `can have the house.' So I assumed at the time that you were seeing someone. And guess what I was right, but you told me and again I quote I` was being silly' and that you were `gonna live the life of motels' you happy now?"

"Oh, oh um oh, yeah I did didn't I." It wasn't really a question it was a statement. But I answered anyway.

"Yes, you did. And as much as I am enjoying our little conversation here, I would appreciate it if you tell me anything I should know, maybe something else you have perhaps lied to me about, before I decided to hang up and carry on with my life as though you and I didn't happen." It was a lie, how can you forget your first break up, like it hurts and I'm guessing you just don't forget this kind of pain.

"Maybe we should talk it out over I don't know over diner or something?" he merely asked. I laughed. I had to.

"Really diner, wow. Yeah I think were past all of that diners and stuff, it should be your tart you take out and treat." I'm stooping low now. I was taught better but again Ahh well.

"Esme, compromise with me here." I wanted to laugh but in truth it's not funny.

"You know what fine, name the place, time and day." Being desperate to find out the truth is never a good thing. Never.

"Our old restaurant and 6:30, tomorrow."...

"Thanks for the kick in the gut our old restaurant are you being serious?"

"I just thought you would find it more comfortable there than anywhere else."... Pathetic.

"Jesus your killing me here you know this right, how could you possibly even consider in a fraction that I would find it comfortable now?"

"Fine for fuck sakes Esme, where do you wanna go?" umm...

"I don't know pizza hut?"

"fabulous." He said fatly. "Well I'll see you there then. Bye."

"Yeah bye, oh and your paying." And before he could say anything, I hung up. I refuse to pay when he took my money for granted and spread the word it to his current what? Current fuck buddy, girlfriend... whatever it doesn't matter what she is.

For once my morning shower felt like the best thing on this goddamned earth. Shame it had to end when the cold started spitting through. I could have stayed there all day, well if I didn't have work. Ugh. Work. No point sulking I guess... just get on with it... If possible.

I walked in with my head held as high as I could make it go, which believe me wasn't far. I was ashamed to think of myself in this position. I did the only thing I could do was go straight to my office and file more design works papers. And well design design design. That's all there is to the works of interior designing, I didn't have any clients at the moment to which I am grateful for. I loved my job but I was fearful of having to give it up; but I didn't want to give it up just because of that tart.

"Esme?" ugh now who? "Esme? You in here?" it was my boss. All is good. For now.

"Yeah in here, Jane."

"Oh you're looking pale sweet, sure you're okay to work?" she asked concerned. It wasn't fake. I had to smile; it was the best voice I had heard in days.

"I'm fine." I smiled. "Something you want or need?"

"Okay well if you feel a bit down later then go straight home, you really don't look to good, honestly." Thanks boss, nice to know you're my invisible mirror. "And umm I was just wondering how you feel about having a client next week?" she was the only person who knew about my break up, she gave me a week off, that was all she could offer. Shame a week wasn't all I needed.

"Umm yeah that would be fine. I mean it's my job to do this, of course it will be fine." I'm rambling again. Jeez. She smiled anyhow.

"That's great. If you wanna write this down a minute sweet." I grabbed my record book full of client's names and addresses and payments. "Mrs Victoria Stoke. 832 park avenue..." she trailed off on other details I need like their phone number so I can give them a call and tell them I will be there advisor once they give me a brief on what they looking for. And with that Jane left me to it but not before telling me there was going to be a promotion if I do a great job within the next month.

6:30 the next day came to quick and now here I was stood outside of the oh so famous place I selected pizza hut. Did I debate on showing my face here? Yes. Did I tell myself I'm being stupid? Yes. I also asked myself why I should listen to his excuses for the benefit of himself, I told myself I didn't know. Closure perhaps. Have I also considered he may not even show up? Yes, yes I have...

"Hello welcome to pizza hut, do you have a reservation or?" the server asked politely.

"No, can I just have a table for two please." I gave a small smile.

"Okay, wait here a minute and I'll just check there's a table free." She gave a smile and she left. I felt a tug on my coat sleeve.

"Hey, where's she going?" Edward asked. I'm surprised he showed. I stared at him, it wasn't a hopefully look, it wasn't a please I still love you look. It was a `are you seriously going to try and act normal around me, after everything?' look. But I answered anyhow. Why cause I'm stupid and I came here to sort this out, not to play the child card.

"Going to see if there's a table for two ready."

"Okay right this way... Oh are you two together this evening?" she asked. I didn't answer. I didn't want to. And neither did I have to. He did.

"yes." He smiled. Giving all his charm. She blushed. Of course she did.

"Well right this way." She smiled at him. Of course she would only smile at him. And now here I sit waiting to see how tonight is going to turn out... goodie

Pixie here, hola. If you wanna know what the song is it's all summer long by kid rock :D

umm I have no idea where this chapter was going I didnt even plan it as for most of these chapters wont be planned :S ahh well just going with whatever the hell I type XD

I would try abit of reverse phycology (yeah I dont know how to spell that :L) and not ask for reviews then I may get some more but I cant resist from asking so please please review on what you think or anything you want to say, I take good or bad. so please review :D and thank you to the people that have reviewed and added my story to their favourites, it makes me really happy :D

byee byee for now next chapter soon, and I know I kind of left it on a little bit of a cliffy, sorry... well I'm not but hey ;] byee

~ Pixieeee XD