Loss Of Sensation
Chapter Four -
Interior Decorating for Extra Terrestrials
beepbeepbeepbeepbeep...
Ianto looked up from his makeshift desk area, frowning at the sudden noise that echoed off the walls of the Hub. 'What's that?'
beepbeepbeepbeepbeep...
Tosh was frantically fiddling with a piece of equipment she had been working on all morning, from which the noise was emanating. The tiny artefact had turned up on the beach in Cardiff Bay, another rift refugee that had found it's way to Torchwood. Nobody had any idea what it was so far, not even Jack for a change, despite his usual uncanny talent for guesswork when it came to weird objects of non-terrestrial origin. The device was about the size of a pear and much the same shape, glossy black in colour, and from outward appearances showed no signs of being in any way technical.
Until it was picked up, that is, as Tosh had discovered by accident.
As a rule the team generally handled all unknown items retrieved with gloves until they were confirmed as safe to touch, but in a moment of forgetfulness Tosh had picked the black pear-device up to move it out the way of something else she was working on. It had immediately lit up on contact with her skin with what looked like hundreds of minuscule pinpricks of light. Tosh had felt it activate, as if touch were the power switch it required, and said it was humming very slightly as the rest of the team had gathered around cautiously. Ianto had been fascinated by the simple beauty of the object nestled in Tosh's palm, the tiny lights changing colour every so often.
When the others had tried it, the pear-device had gone black and silent again in each of their hands. It remained stubbornly dark and unresponsive in the grasp of Owen and Ianto, and had emitted a low hum that had sounded distinctly unhappy when Jack had taken it, causing him to pass it quickly back to Tosh. In Gwen's hands it had glowed briefly before going quiet again, refusing any further glittering or humming until back with Tosh.
'So, it only likes girls,' Jack said, eyebrow raised as the pear-device lit up again happily in Tosh's hand, giving off the same contented hum. 'Who'd have thought technology could be prejudiced too?'
Ianto watched as Tosh observed the small object she held with delighted fascination, turning it around and around in her hands. A gadget that responded to her personally – a dream come true for a techie like her, Ianto thought with a small smile. A gadget that likes her.
'Best pet you could hope for,' Owen said with a smirk. 'Want me to sort you out a litter tray for it, or do you think it's trained?'
Tosh gave Owen a withering look that seemed to delight the doctor, and put her new friend carefully down next to her monitor, where it quietly balanced. She ran a finger along it and the device shivered, purring almost imperceptibly and leaving a trail of tiny lights where her finger had connected with the surface before fading out as the contact was lost. 'I'll try to find out what it is. But whatever it is, I'm keeping it. It's not going in the archives,' she added, with a pointed look at Ianto.
Ianto held up his hands. 'I'll just catalogue it. It would be a shame to pack away something so pretty anyway.'
Apparently boring a little of the conversation, Jack shoved his hands in his pockets as his eyes wandered distractedly around the rather grim room. 'Well, it brightens this place up whatever it is.'
'Maybe that's what it is,' Gwen said, raising an eyebrow. 'A decoration. Like an alien version of a lava lamp.'
Owen snorted. 'Oh right. Interior decorating for extra terrestrials? It may be big and exciting but the rift does send us some crap sometimes. Why do we never get a really big gun?'
Ianto rolled his eyes, still watching Tosh as she contined to study the pear-device. 'Judging by your success rate with the singularity scalpel, I doubt you need anything as mundane as a gun.'
Owen glared and the few choice words he replied with caused the girls to gasp in disgust. Sensing danger from his female co-workers, and irritated by Ianto's smug look, Owen quickly changed the subject.
'I bet you had a Tamagotchi, didn't you Tosh?' he said, arms folded.
Tosh nodded, eyes still fixed on the pear-device. 'I did. I reprogrammed it though.'
'You did? What did it do?' Gwen asked.
Tosh smiled. 'It's still alive, I keep him on my hard drive.' She tapped a few keys and a tiny, pixelated creature that resembled a bird with a snout appeared on her top right monitor, skipping across the screen and making small peep peep noises.. 'It's been alive for eleven years now, I just move it around with me. I know it's silly, but it cheers me up.'
Gwen laughed and patted Tosh's shoulder. 'I have a teddy bear that Rhys gave me on my desk. He used to live on my desk at the station too, and...'
'Alright, alright!' Owen interrupted in exasperation. 'I'm sorry I mentioned it. Jesus, I had no idea you two were so bloody girly.'
Gwen shot him another dangerous look. 'I may be girly, Owen Harper, but I can handle any gun that drops through time and space better than you can. And what is it you call that stupid cactus in the mortuary that you're so protective of? Isn't it...Harold?'
Owen quickly lost the annoyed look and switched to defensive. 'It's a plant! Not a silly toy!'
'A plant with a name,' Jack pointed out, now sitting on the sofa with his legs up on the table. He'd been listening in amusement to the rest of the team, still impressed by the sentimentality humans seemed to posess over the oddest things. Although he had to admit, the birdy-snout-monster on Tosh's screen was rather adorable. 'A plant with a man's name.'
'A plant that you talk to,' Ianto added before he could stop himself, offering a small penitent smile as Owen glared daggers at him, colour draining from his cheeks. The doctor turned on his heel and stormed off, mumbling something about childishness and idiots, amongst various expletives.
Attention back on the pear-device as Tosh stroked it again, Jack eyed it thoughtfully from his position on the sofa. 'Find out what it is, make sure it's not just a really pretty grenade or something. Keep me informed.'
Tosh nodded, and they left her to it.
Now it was two days later and suddenly...beepbeepbeepbeepbeep...
'It's not done that before,' Ianto said, moving cautiously towards Tosh's desk.
'I don't know what it is, I wasn't even touching it!' Tosh said, once more desperately searching for some kind of button or opening, anything to give her a clue. But no luck. Scans had turned up nothing, endless probing had revealed no way into it, no clue as to it's construction. She had reluctantly given up that very morning, content to keep it on her desk while she got on with other things. And now after two days of silence, the shrill beeping for no apparent reason.
Jack stuck his head out of the office, a frown on his handsome face. 'What's it doing? You forget to feed it, Toshiko?'
'I don't know Jack, it just went crazy!' she cried, staring at it and willing the pear-device to be quiet.
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'That's really irritating!' a voice called from the mortuary pit.
'Shut up, Owen!' Tosh snapped in a rare moment of anger towards the doctor. Owen's surprised face appeared above the edge of the pit, genuinely taken aback by the shout. Tosh had apparently grown more attached to her new companion than they had realized.
Jack appeared at the desk and held out a hand. 'May I?' he said, in a tone meant to be both helpful and to placate his distressed genius. She held out the pear-device gingerly and it went dark in the hands of the Captain. The beeping continued but took on a much darker tone.
'Sir, are you sure you should...I mean, it didn't seem to like you last time,' Ianto said, eyeing the beeping menace warily. Jack hadn't touched it since that first time, and it was now emitting a high pitched whine as well as the staccato beeping sound.
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Jack stared at it, holding it at arm's length. Gwen looked at him nervously. 'Jack, maybe you'd better put it down...'
Before he could respond the whine notched up to an ear-piercing level and the pear-device started to vibrate violently in Jack's palm.
The Captain's eyes went wide. 'Ah.'
'It's going to explode, get down!' Owen shouted melodramatically, ducking out of sight into the mortuary pit. The others payed attention however and dropped to the floor just in time.
No such luck for Jack though. As the pear-device detonated in his grasp, he was thrown backwards with the blast, slamming against the Torchwood tiling and sinking down onto the worn couch.
It was over as quickly as it had happened.
Ianto scrambled to his feet and ran towards Jack, Gwen and Tosh right at his heels. 'Jack! Jack, are you alright?'
As the purple clouds of smoke cleared, a very dazed Jack stared up at Ianto as the Welshman skidded to a halt in front of him. Ianto was worried that he'd have to deal with another resurrection saga, which always involved a lot of painkillers and, for some unknown reason, a lot of hot chocolate. But when Jack blinked, Ianto breathed a sigh of relief. The Captain appeared to be stunned, but nothing more, sitting spread-eagled on the couch as if he'd just kicked back for a rest.
'Jack?' Ianto said softly, waving a hand in front of his face. 'Can you hear me?'
Blinking again, Jack focused on the younger man with some considerable effort. 'I guess a Big Bang joke is inappropriate?'
Ianto rolled his eyes, relieved. 'He's fine.'
Owen was crouched next to Jack, automatically checking pulse, reflexes and such. 'Yeah, but he shouldn't be. By rights he should have no arms left, judging by the state of Tosh's desk. There's not a scratch on him.'
They all glanced up at Tosh's workstation for the first time. It was a complete mess. Monitors were smashed, the desk itself was broken in half, listing in the middle at an angle that threatened to drop the contents to the floor at any second. Ianto quickly scampered over to slap at a few bits of paper that were merrily dancing with flames, putting out the burgeoning fire. 'Bloody hell,' Ianto murmured, staring at the mess. 'Jack, you should be dead. Again.'
Jack pulled himself up stiffly, rotating his shoulders carefully just to make sure. He shook his head and moaned, putting a hand to his temple. 'Yeah. Lucky me, just a headache this time.'
'You should go and lie down,' Owen suggested, eyes still methodically working the Captain over for any signs of injury. Suspiciously, there seemed to be none. 'Jack, you must be one of the luckiest people alive. You should be dog food.'
Jack raised an eyebrow ironically. 'That's me, indestructible. I think I will go and lie down though. This headache is a killer.'
Sniggering at his own joke, and under the concerned eyes of the rest of the team, Jack climbed up to his office stiffly, not completely unaffected by being hurled across the room.
'I'll bring you some painkillers, sir,' Ianto called up after him, receiving a brief wave in return.
The four watched him go, disappearing down into his chamber beneath the office.
'Well, that was...bracing,' Ianto murmured, looking over the disaster area that used to be Tosh's station.
'Sorry about your pet, Tosh,' Owen said with a sigh, and with not a small amount of genuine feeling. Tosh herself looked terribly sad. She looked up in surprise at the comment and offered a small smile.
'Thank you. I just wish I'd found out what it was,' she said regretfully.
Gwen put an arm round her reassuringly. 'At least you still have your Tamagotchi.'
'He's survived worse than this,' Tosh smiled, making her way slowly to her station to start the substantial tidy-up operation.