((Author's note: I really, REALLY do apologize for leaving this story be for so long. To all those who left positive reviews, sent me mail, and subscribed to it (all in all about three times more interest than i'm used to) thanks for letting me know to come back to this.

I think you have to be in a special mindset to write romance. I haven't felt that way in about nine months (no i didn't get pregnant), life's been complicated, I'll leave it at that. I felt this was a good story. I wanted it to stay good. I hope the wait is worth it for you all. Baby I'm back! ))

4

Several weeks passed, and the world had changed dramatically. Battles which would only be described to future generations as "epic" had been fought. The Akatsuki hadn't been entirely destroyed, per se, but neither was it in the same position as before. All things were as they were before, questionable, unknown, and fearful. However, the good parts stayed as well. So many things had happened and yet nothing changed. Jiraiya-sama was dead, and Naruto...he wasn't the same. Every day he seemed more and more like Sasuke before he had left.

Hinata was walking down the street. She tugged on her black dress. The Fifth Hokage had declared there to be three days of mourning for the passing of, as she had put it, the "Greatest Sanin". All Hinata knew was Jiraiya-sama had been murdered by the Akatsuki. This was the third day of mourning, and while the villagers did their best to pay their respects to Jiraiya-sama, many were going about their lives more normally than previously.

Hinata tugged again on the hem of her dress, I will at least pay my respects to Jiraiya-sama...

She just happened to glance down the street at that moment and saw a figure moving towards her. His blonde hair gave him away. Hinata tried to smile, though even at best, she knew the attempt must have seemed weak, "Hello, Naruto."

Naruto glanced up at her with his eyes, head not moving, and then glanced back at the ground. He kept walking, his eyes sad, yet hard. Hinata watched him walk away in disbelief. Never, never in all these years had he just blown her off like that. She tried calling out to him again but only managed a whispered, "Naruto...?"

She kept watching as he went down the street, and turned a corner, presumably headed out of town, as the city gate was down that way. Hinata ran back to her home full speed, tears streaming down her face. Naruto...Naruto how could you? I thought we...we were...weren't we at least friends? I just got over my doubts, too! Hinata's mind went back to her thoughts from a few weeks ago. It had been incredibly difficult to fight her inner nature, to fight the urge to give up on Naruto, but somehow, maybe out of habit, she had stuck to her dreams of being with Naruto one day. Naruto...maybe it really was hopeless. Otherwise she wouldn't have been blown off like that. Even when the Third died, Naruto was devastated. He admired all the Hokage, even the Fifth, though he probably wouldn't openly admit it around her. But even then, he was able to at least speak to her, even if it was in a depressed tone. Did looking at her count as saying "hello" now? No...Naruto was too loud and flamboyant for that. He really could ignore me, he really could just forget I existed. And when Sakura and he... Hinata's stomach turned a couple times, just as she got into her room, flying past everyone who tried to say hello, or ask what was wrong.

After about an hour of trying to calm herself down and decide how to react, Hinata dried her tears and went to a mirror. She started combing her long, dark blue hair, trying to get it just perfect. If she were going to confront Naruto, she'd at least be presentable for him. This was it, do or die. And no way she would let anything stop her. She ran it through her mind. Yeah, she'd find Naruto somewhere quietly mourning the death of his mentor. She'd go up to him and wrap an arm around his shoulder. Then she'd comfort him, and lean in to kiss him on the cheek. Maybe he'd kiss her back...

Hinata shook her head. She knew the real thing would likely end up in her shying away a couple meters from him and whispering in that soft, shy voice she always used around him, long awkward silences, and her leaving without having accomplished anything much at all. But, it didn't matter the outcome, either way, she'd let him know how she felt! It was long time coming. This was it, if he would never return her feelings, then fine. Maybe she could deal with that. But it was no use to anyone to go on being an unknown to him like she had been all these years. Bound and determined, Hinata left her house, and calmly, though quickly, speed-walked to the main gate where Naruto had appeared to be headed. She hesitated, wondering if she should ask the sentries if they'd seen Naruto around, but everytime she took a step towards them she got butterflies in her stomach and started blushing.

Byakugan! She finally resorted to her jutsu. Okay, Naruto...where are you?

She scanned around the village and checked the forested area within the walls of the city. The Fifth was still keeping Naruto penned inside the village, protected from Akatsuki, or what was left of it. Konoha had proven itself quite capable of dispatching its members, three so far. Four, if one counted Sasuke-kun still as a Konoha shinobi, after killing his brother, Itachi. But that seemed less and less likely as the days passed since he had killed his sensei, Orochimaru.

She noticed Naruto sitting in a small clearing. He had a rubber ball in his hands. He was just staring at it, like it was supposed to move, supposed to save him from the world. At the same time he seemed disappointed that it wasn't. Hinata slowly made her way through the trees, getting closer, taking purposefully slow steps. A short trip that could have taken her a few seconds was taking a couple minutes at her pace. Hinata almost forgot to deactivate her Byakugan, but did so now.

Her breathing was controlled, but her heart was pounding hard inside her chest. She got lost in her own thoughts, making final preparations to these first opening seconds of the conversation. How should she do it? Should she "stumble" upon him? Or just be upfront?

So lost in her own thoughts was she that when she finally emerged from them about 50 meters from Naruto, she almost didn't notice the figure in the large tree beside her. She looked up at the praying form of Kabuto in the treetops. Hinata let out a quick gasp, causing his eyes to snap open and focus on her, fully alert and ready. But on seeing who it was, his expression softened, and he simply nodded at the girl.

Suddenly an idea occurred to Hinata. Kabuto! He could give her the clarity she needed! He was a studier of minds and hearts, he might have insight into Naruto. She pointed over to the direction she came. Kabuto nodded again, and disappeared in that direction.

Doubling back another fifty meters, Hinata met up with the intruder, "Kabuto-san...why are you here?"

"Hinata-chan," he replied affectionately, like a master seeing his dog again for the first time in a week. He then sighed, "When I heard about Jiraya-sama's death, I came to pay my respects. And to offer a prayer to Naruto-kun." Kabuto looked back to Naruto, now barely visible through the foliage, and sighed, "I feel the death of a mentor Sannin as deeply as he feels his. It is like a part of your heart goes missing, without saying where it went..."

Hinata felt a little ripple of sympathy go through her person but shook her head, trying to stay focused on her objective. "Kabuto-san...could I..." she stopped, embarrassed to continue. Kabuto looked back at her questioningly, offering a nasal request for clarity. Hinata started to blush, "Well, could I ask a favor?"

The former Sound Jonin simply nodded, his eyes, or rather, the one that was still his, looked sympathetic.

Hinata fidgeted a bit, her body swaying nervously, "Um, I just...wanted to know...do you know how he feels...that is...how he might feel about me?" she rushed out the last few words, so much so that if he weren't paying close attention, Kabuto might have not heard them.

For better or worse though, the medical ninja was giving Hinata every bit of his attention, even so much so that he wasn't paying close attention enough to have noticed anyone sneaking up on him. Kabuto felt his heart sink a bit, but nodded, pulling out his cards.

Ever since he became a spy, Kabuto had always held onto his cards. They were a special type of card that could read chakra and memories could be implanted in them. They could decipher a person's relative strength, motives, element, and "remember" significant events in the subject's life that Kabuto was present for. Overall they were a very useful information gathering tool for long missions, such as his one in Konoha, allowing him to weed his mind of details of less importance, but that might still prove useful one day.

He shuffled through the deck, locating the card with Naruto's data on it. He pulled it out and ran his chakra through it, activating the memories stored inside. "Uzumaki Naruto...uncompromising...blunt...and always eager for a fight..." Kabuto sifted through a few bits of irrelevant data, "Relationships...he admires Uchiha Sasuke...to him that is the most important bond. He blames himself that Sasuke left Konoha and joined Orochimaru-sama..." Hinata winced when Kabuto said "Orochimaru-sama", she had hoped he would be less inclined to him after part of his body was lost to Orochimaru, but it would appear not.

Kabuto continued his analysis, "He also admires Haruno Sakura, and cares for her very much. His loyalty to her is unquestioned, despite his travels with the lecherous Jiraiya-sama, Naruto could barely find appreciation for beautiful women, but Sakura is always the flower in his eyes. He would die for her if the situation called for it." Hinata felt her heart expand slightly, giving out a huge rush of blood and needed energy, then totally implode. She could feel it shrinking into a tiny, twisted shade of its former self. Pain engulfed her chest, spreading to her breathing. She had known that was the truth but...hearing it from someone else, especially someone in a position to be called something of an "expert", was still more hurtful than anything she had imagined.

Kabuto paused a moment upon hearing the slightly labored breathing coming from the girl. He waited a few seconds and then continued, trying to divert her attention from that fact, but it had needed to be said for her own good, "He sees Kakashi-san and Jiraiya-sama in a similar light. Though Jiraiya-sama he sees almost as his father..." he glanced at Hinata, who looked like she would fall over from grief, but he kept on, getting more general now.

"He views his fellow Konoha-shinobi equally, as family...Hyuga Hinata..." he paused. Hinata now looked at him expectantly. Kabuto couldn't hide his look of pity. Hinata didn't seem to notice. It wasn't a bad assessment, per-se, but it was nothing that the Leaf Chunin was looking for. But still, it couldn't be helped, "Naruto sees you as a needy soul. He feels sympathetic towards your relationship with Neji, it is very similar to the one he shares with Sasuke. He believes that he can mentor you to be more outgoing, that maybe the other boys would notice you more if you weren't so quiet, and maybe you could find someone that makes you feel as inspired as he does with Sakura..." Kabuto felt his own sympathy at this moment, he even fought back a slight watering in his eye.

Hinata's expression was growing sour, jilted and dejected. She looked like she would either break someone's arm or break down crying. Her lips quivered and puckered a bit, her body screaming at her to cry, clawing desperately at her willpower to simply let go, but her mind telling her it would be improper. All she could picture in her mind was Naruto and Sakura in each others arms, over and over again. In a chair by candlelight. In the hot springs in their swimsuits. Cuddled up together on a bed. All variations on a theme. It pained her to think that way. Every new image in her mind broke down her happiness and clarity of thought a little more. But she couldn't help herself, she needed to think these things, she was compelled to. It was as if she kept looking through different windows, trying to find a future where Naruto would reject Sakura and that would let her walk in. But at each window, she found the same thing. She wanted to be happy that Naruto was happy but she couldn't. All she felt was her love and how it was being crushed against a stone wall, snapping, breaking, and being beaten into an aching pulp.

Then her love soured. Hatred came to join it, came to take it into itself. Not so that it was all hatred, no, but so that the two were coexisting as the same thing. She couldn't see straight anymore. She became only vaguely aware Kabuto was standing somewhere nearby as the hot tears in her eyes clouded her vision. She shut her eyes tight to block it out but still she could feel the burning tears leaking out and over her cheeks. They dripped down onto her dress, and just knowing she was crying made her sorrow more potent.

Kabuto put his cards away. He wanted to look away. He wanted to give Hinata some peace, but he couldn't. He had to watch her in pain, much in the same way she had to cause herself torment in her mind. This was true pain, and Kabuto was sharing it with her, despite the proper rules of society that dictated he give her her space. He wanted to share this burden. He, too, had felt loneliness. Hinata was, possibly for the first time, experiencing what it felt like to know your purpose was robbed from you. He quietly put away his cards and stood there as she started to break down.

And he still stood there, even as she leapt at him, her little fists beating against his chest as she sobbed into him. Her face rubbing back and forth against his robe, shaking her head "no". It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. Hinata wanted to scream this at the world. But when she tried shouting, all that came out of her mouth were inhuman cries. It was like a wounded animal in the middle of the woods, calling for help that would never come, a long wail, and then several sobs as her chest heaved, trying to take in air. She sobbed and tried to hit harder but her muscles only grew weaker. Her chest heaving, she collapsed onto Kabuto, and felt his arms embrace her, even as she continued to assault him in her despair.

Kabuto couldn't honestly know what Hinata was trying to say. It was just a series of low moans to him, sputtering, and only pausing to take in a short breath before they started again. His eyes grew soft, even the snake-like one that was Orochimaru's, and he shut them to prevent himself from crying as he held her close, squeezing her delicate form against his own. Her words were unintelligible but they were probably the same words he shouted at the darkness in his mind. He squeezed her closer and buried his face in her hair, setting his lips softly on the top of her head, his own voice a little choked up.

"I know...I know."