The Game Grumps in:
JON'S TRYST
The shocking truth behind JonTron breaking up with Egoraptor.
A Narrative Exposé by Smash the Ecchidna
II . VIIV
Flan Eater – Part Three
For the next decade, Egoraptor raised his Flannel Son – whom he affectionately referred to as Flannie-san – as if he were his own offspring. He homeschooled his son, teaching him like he would an apprentice, about the ins-and-outs of Flash Animation, elegantly elaborating on sophisticated topics such as "how to draw fucked-up faces" and "why tweens are bullshit." These lessons were not for ordinary folks; they could last for hours upon hours, and many drawing tablets shattered from their intensity. The two would often end up exhausted at the end of each session, but they never broke their stride. Egoraptor was determined to help his son achieve his full potential, and Flannie was determined to make his father proud.
It was not as if they didn't set time aside to enjoy themselves, though; indeed, numerous nights were devoted solely to their favorite hobby: video games. Egoraptor played the role of Flannie's guide through his collection of games: games both old and new; simple and complex; dark and bright. Together, they saved the peaches, crossed the animals, and caught the Pokes; they hedged the hogs, witnessed the war-changes, and cried at the Aerisdies. And as their avatars grew, so too did Flannie, his escapades through electronic environments renewing his sprained spirit. Especially Kirby. Flannie loved Kirby. He loved him so much that Sakurai was essentially his uncle. Sakurai made his Milky Way wishes a reality.
Of course, the project of parenthood was not easy for Egoraptor. To pay the bills, he had to increase his Newgrounds notoriety tenfold. He concocted many cartoons during those days and regularly involved himself in the dubious domain of 'collaborations' and 'merchandise'. At several points, he even had to sell himself; his hair, that is. In secret, he would have Flannie snip thick locks of hair from his head to sell to an anonymous client – one who paid well over the market price. The entire process was always traumatic to the typically temperate Egoraptor; the moments his fabulous fibers fell to the floor would leave him in tears, and the following weeks would be characterized by his reluctance to go outside until his man-mane was massive again. But he knew he had to do whatever he could for the sake of his son. To say the least, Egoraptor was a supermom.
…
All in all, despite the difficulties, they were as happy as clams. Through adopting Flannie, Egoraptor gained not only an awesome son, but an animator acquaintance almost as amazing as he was; and Flannie finally had a place he could call home, with a father who loved him as dear as Doritos.
However, as the years went by, the keen Flannie began to take note of the nefarious forces present in the world. Newgrounds users, YouTube commenters, rival artists, reality TV, you name it – these sinister scoundrels were all looking to shred a slice off the Egoraptor éclair, and Flannie was certain that his dad, already busy with so much, could not handle them alone. The time was right – Flannie had grown enough. Now it was his turn to protect him.
In the month of January 2011, as Egoraptor tended to his work, Flannie stealthily started an independent production on his own. Using all the skills his father had taught him, he crafted a cartoon of Luigi doing a baller boogie, and, under the alias of "Flannelson," he uploaded it to Newgrounds on the 24th. Although it was the first animation he had ever exhibited to the public, it was a smashing success. He got the Daily 2nd Place, the Weekly 4th Place, and even the Front Page Place – not to mention, reviews up the wazoo.
…
"Totally caught me off guard and I enjoyed every frickin second of it."
"GO MAN GO! DANCE THAT ASS! WOOOOO! XD"
"i wish i had that hair"
"YEAA! Mr. L is the man im almmost wet ._."
"so perfect"
…
Egoraptor slammed into the room soon afterward, tears welling up in his enchanted eyes. He could not have been more proud – just like his dad did at his age, Flannie had shown them online. They held each other tight and bumped their butts ceremoniously to signify his ascent into adulthood. The flannel bird was ready to leave the raptor nest.
…
And that, my darlings, was the story of how the flannel child, a forsaken mutation of United States science, forged his own future as Third Member Flannelson, the mysterious ninja animator; on the surface he sketches, and from the shadows he strikes!
…
Ooh, Anim Ninja Warrior
With your art so bold
… Son-Flannel …
To Be Continued