Chapter 4

Miwa poured sake into Bansai's cup. She was sitting next to him as she served him sake like the courtesan she is. She wasn't used to really serving patrons because she had been paid for a different kind of service entertainment. So she's trying to polish her skills since it might be needed sooner more than her sword abilities.

"When I saw Housen, I was so sure he'd kill me. I gave up. There's no way I could fight him and come out victorious. He's the king of the Yato for a reason. I resigned my life. One look at Hinowa and I knew the child was safe even if she was caught. There was still life in her eyes. And I thought I was going to die there."

Bansai set down his cup, "But you didn't, so what did you do?"

Miwa smirked, "Well, since I'd surely die, I thought I might as well go down fighting to my last breath. Who knows, a miracle might happen, so I just threw caution to the wind and attacked Housen."

He held her tightly by the neck as she struggled to loosen his grip. She kicked and punched, getting his clothes and face wet and muddy. But he wasn't fazed even a bit. His grip tightened even more and he looked at her face indifferently. She bit and spit and kicked him to no avail.

But she never screamed and she never begged. She was determined to keep up the fight. She'll never shame herself by begging for her life from her enemies. She'll go down with dignity for that was what samurais ought to do. Even if it was hopeless, she'd keep struggling until the very end.

"Interesting. It seems there is another one," Housen dropped her and she crumpled on the ground, trying to regain her breath, "What's your name, girl?"

"Miwa," she sputtered after he prodded her with some light kicks.

She was going in and out of consciousness as she was carried by one of Housen's servants. She could see Hinowa trailing after her with a worried look on her face. There were bruises on her neck in the shape of Housen's fingers. But she was alive. They were both alive. And, someday, surely, they'd make it out again.

"Hinowa-san?" she called weakly.

Hinowa perked up at the sound of her voice.

"Is he free?" she asked.

And despite them heading back to their cage, Miwa thought she'd never seen Hinowa smile as brightly as she did that rainy day.

"I was taken to Housen's palace with Hinowa. We were taken to this dark room and chained facing the wall. They ripped the clothes off my back and whipped me. How many times, I can't remember anymore. All I knew is the pain in my back, like the flesh was being ripped from my very bones. I screamed myself hoarse that night. And Hinowa…they slashed her tendons. They took away her ability to even walk. My punishment was nothing compared to hers. We were unchained and left in that dark room with no food and treatment for two days."

"Just when I thought we were dying, we were taken out and treated. That's how we lived for the next month. He'd beat us to an inch of our lives and then save us, only to do it again. That man was ruthless. And he came so close to breaking me but Hinowa, she was unbreakable. She endured it all. She said she understood Housen most of all, and that she can't afford to lose to him."

Miwa poured him another cup of sake, "Finding a use for me was accidental. Six months after he confined us to his palace, Housen entertained a wealthy amanto in the palace. The amanto had brought his samurai slave, bragging about how he bought him from a slave market in some planet. The man was a captured deserter and was said to be legendary. The Amanto wanted to test his purchase so he asked if Housen can spare a few guards. Housen sent for me instead."

Miwa poured herself a cup of sake and drained it, "When I saw who it was, I was surprised. It was the same man who brought me to Yoshiwara. The leader of those men, and in his hands was my father's sword. I almost laughed at the irony."

"That man…after I defeated him, he forced me to kill him, actually begged for me to do it. And I was filled with so much hatred for him. For taking me to Yoshiwara, for forcing me to be alone, for taking me away from my promise. I took my father's sword and sliced his head off."

Miwa gazed out the window, "I didn't realize I was screaming and crying. And Housen found it, the way to break me. It didn't help that the amanto found it so amusing to see me kill that soon I got customers paying for me to kill for their entertainment. Housen watched as I killed beasts, men and amanto. It broke me everytime but I learned to stand above it eventually. I overcame. Ours was a dangerous game and the prize was my life. He trapped me in a game where losing means death. I survived. It made me stronger. He never managed to break me completely."

"I endured another one and a half years of Housen treating me like a dog. Taking me out of the dark room when he needed me and putting me back when he's done with me. Before I noticed it, he had made me the second most expensive courtesan in Yoshiwara, next to Hinowa. He tricked me. He was tightening the bonds around me while I was busy just staying alive. He made us the most recognizable faces in Yoshiwara so we can't escape all the more. Even back alley rats would watch our every move. He allowed me to move outside the palace because he knew there's no way I could escape without him knowing. And the next time I escape, I knew he'd come and finish the deed. We both knew that unless Housen is dead, there would be no freedom for me."

"I was eighteen years old when the Joui war ended and I was still in Yoshiwara. I used my status to gather information about my brother and the others. It seemed the three of them came out alive but not some of our other classmates. There was no news of their whereabouts, but it was believed that they were scattered. For some reason, my brother evaded identification and was under the name 'Shiroyasha'. Shinsuke and Zura, however, had wanted posters circulating."

Bansai glanced at the framed wanted poster sitting on her table. He smirked.

"And well, with Housen going to kill me if I escaped and Shinsuke god knows where, I decided it was better to stay put in Yoshiwara. If Shinsuke is a wanted person, it's impossible that he'd never make his way to Yoshiwara one day. What with the government holding secret meetings there and all, I highly doubted Joui wouldn't have found Yoshiwara's influence useful."

"So you just waited for him, for anyone to come for you? That's quite a defeatist attitude, if I may say so."

Miwa smiled sadly, "That's not it at all. Around that time, I met a certain person. My meeting with her completely erased any intention of leaving Yoshiwara by myself. She was someone I swore to protect, just like Tsukuyo did to Hinowa. Compared to her, Shinsuke would have to wait."

She continued, "Lady Suzuran was a retired courtesan staying on as a trainer. Normally, old courtesans with no customers would have been killed already but everyone seemed to hold her in high esteem. She was Hinowa's counterpart back in her youth. For the courtesans, she was legendary. Her patron was no less than the Shogun before the amanto came. One day, while I was walking around town, she had me called up to her room."

Miwa fidgeted nervously in her seat as she waited for Lady Suzuran to arrive. She'd heard the rumors. The woman was an unparalleled beauty, a living legend. What could such a formidable woman want with her? Maybe to shame her for calling herself a courtesan when all she had been doing was killing people? She hadn't even served a single person food or sake or played her shamisen. She heard the woman took great pride in her profession.

"Lady Suzuran has arrived!" two girls announced as they slid open the door.

Miwa was sweating buckets when the shouji doors fell on her head, pushing her flat on the floor. Her nose bled and she was positive that there was a large bump in her head.

"H-Hello!"

Miwa crawled from under the door and gazed at the woman. She was stoned. She didn't expect the woman to be that old. The people were talking about her as if it was yesterday! The old woman was attached to an IV drip and looked like she'd drop dead in a minute.

"S-suzuran-sama?!" Miwa blurted out.

The old woman turned her face towards her, "I-it's n-nice to meet you! I'm-I'm-huh? Who am I?"

"Suzuran-sama!" Miwa answered.

"I'm Suzuran! Hello!"

Then the old woman started seizing and Miwa fell into a panic. A courtesan calmly called for a bed to be brought in and Miwa watched as the old woman plop herself back to it, as if she did it everyday.

"Ahmm…is she alright?" she asked the courtesan.

"Don't worry, that's just how she always is. She's more resilient than you think," the courtesan then left to get food.

Miwa walked towards the bed. Surprisingly, the woman seemed peaceful and well.

"Thank you for taking the time to visit with an old woman like me," Suzuran said in a firm voice, "You're truly kind."

Miwa smiled, "It's nothing at all, Suzuran-sama."

The older woman chuckled weakly, "Showing such concern for a strange old woman," Suzuran plucked a single hair from her head, "Let's make a promise."

The old woman seemed to be reaching for her hand so Miwa brought it closer. The old woman tied the strand around her pinky. "Come see me again at the next full moon. I'll be waiting for the full moon to rise…forever," and then the woman fell asleep.

"Suzuran-sama?" Miwa was confused.

"I see she also made you a promise." The courtesan showed Miwa her own pinky. "She does this to everyone she meets, but that doesn't make her any less serious about it. It's the only thing she'll never forget."

"That courtesan told me all about Suzuran. About what she used to do for the Shogun and her tragic love for his retainer. The person who will only arrive at the next full moon. I cried for her afterwards. Because I have been waiting for Shinsuke for only a few years and she's been waiting for an entire lifetime. I envy her love and faith. I wished I could love a person as much as she loved hers. It was the most wonderful thing in the world."

"I've been protecting her for a decade now and I will continue to do so. But someday, someone will come here to harm her and I might not be strong enough to handle them. This is the least Yoshiwara can do for someone who has devoted her whole life to it." The courtesan said.

"You are the one who really invited me here, correct?" Miwa watched as Suzuran breathed evenly in her sleep.

"Yes. I meant for you to become Suzuran-sama's next protector. You are the strongest fighter in Yoshiwara, aside from Lord Housen and Sir Jiraiya. Hinowa has Lord Housen and Tsukuyo to protect her. Lady Suzuran only has me and a few Hyakka. Please, can you do this for her?" the courtesan pleaded.

Miwa didn't answer but she approached the bed, "Suzuran-sama, do you happen to know something about me?" she asked.

Suzuran smiled, "Of course, child. You are just like me."

And Miwa understood, it was a way to keep her alive, too. "But we barely even met and yet…" Miwa wept.

"I've known you all my life. Believe me." Suzuran answered.

And Miwa truly believed her.

"Our promise was our bond. Suzuran knew about Shinsuke and I knew about Maizo-dono. We both can't meet them in fear of death. And they both can't take us out of Yoshiwara with the Shogun and Lord Housen around. So we'd stay where we are. Suzuran gave me a reason to stay in Yoshiwara without hating myself for giving up trying to escape and I broke all her chains and left only her promise to her lover as the only reason she's in Yoshiwara. Our promise kept us both alive. It enabled us to endure and wait. She really did know me. She had known waiting all her life. Only she could keep me sane in all of Yoshiwara so I stayed by her side."

"So I guess that's everything that has happened to me. That was six years ago. Half a year ago, Housen was killed by my brother and the ceiling was opened."

Bansai raised an eyebrow, "You had plenty of chance to see your brother. Why didn't you?"

"I was locked up the whole time my brother was fighting Housen, and they only let me out when they were looking for Housen's prisoners. Hinowa suddenly retired in order to take care of Seita and I was left to take the mantle of attracting people to come to Yoshiwara. There was a lot of deficit we had to make up for so I was always busy with my job and protecting Suzuran. Housen is also no longer there to keep the criminals at bay. But I know all of those are just excuses. I'm ashamed of what I have become, of breaking my promise to my brother. When I look at him from afar, I see how lonely and sad he is. I can't muster up the courage to face him yet."

"Then why did you just up and follow Shinsuke that easily?"

"Suzuran died a week before Lord Kamui arrived from space. She was able to meet with her lover. So now it's my turn. I'm free to meet with Shinsuke. But meeting him at that party was an accident. I didn't know he'd ally himself with Lord Kamui. I chose to follow Shinsuke because my brother isn't in any real danger. If he stays where he is, I'd still find him there when this is over. Shinsuke, however, I can't let him out of my sight. Not this time. I'd settle this once and for all."

"I see. So that's your purpose for being here. I'm flattered you trust me so much that you'd think I won't have cause to kill you after hearing all that. If anything, I think you're a threat." Bansai admitted.

Miwa just shrugged, "I doubt telling you my real motives would result in my death. You know Shinsuke better than I do now. And we both know you are so sure that he won't be swayed by my presence. For your information, I'm not here to stop Shinsuke. I don't plan to get in his way. He can burn this country down if that's what he wants. All I care about is the matter between us. I'd even help him achieve his goal if that's the price I have to pay. Anything to quell the unrest in my soul he made a decade ago."

Bansai sighed and stood up to leave, "Well, thank you for the nice story. I'd like to hear more next time, if I may."

Miwa looked at the clock, "I told you it's a long story. But I can tell you more next time." She smiled as she cleared the bowls and plates and carried the tray, "Help me drop these off at the kitchen, will you?"

Bansai nodded and carried his own tray. As they trudged down the darkened hallway, they heard the sound of shamisen playing and as they passed by Shinsuke's room, they could tell the man must be sitting on his window sill playing his shamisen.

Miwa started giggling as soon as they turned a corner. Bansai raised an eyebrow. Miwa had a broad grin on her face, "I just remembered something funny."

Bansai was curious, "It's something embarrassing about Shinsuke, isn't it?"

Miwa giggled again, "Yes, but let's save it for another time, shall we?"

Takasugi Shinsuke took another swig of sake. Earlier that evening, he was walking to his room when he heard Miwa and Bansai's voices inside her room. He was about to ignore them when he heard her casually mention his name somewhere in there. She had been talking about the day in the mountain when the stupid wig dragged them out to look for a bear.

Unconsciously, he found himself leaning against the opposite wall, pipe in hand, as he listened to her tell her stories about her life. He refused to admit he was curious to hear about what really happened to her. He glared at anyone who dared give him away, like Matako, some subordinates and the servant who brings food inside.

And it took everything to just walk away when she finished her tale.

He managed to drag himself to his room, sit down, and just drink some warm sake as he tried to clear his thoughts of her.

But the memories kept surfacing and he allowed himself to remember it for the last time.

Back then, he never did know what to say.

He always did wonder about his sensei's habit of taking angry little creatures and taming them down.

Admittedly, he himself was one of them. As the only son of a wealthy samurai vassal, he was pretty much entitled to glory and fortune, and lo, did he think too highly of himself. That was, until he was sent to the temple school and was treated like a normal kid.

Looking back, he was ashamed of how bratty he was for most of his childhood. But he had Shouyo-sensei to teach him, there's no other way he'd grow into a finer man.

So maybe he was a little jealous when Sensei took in Gintoki. But Gintoki was a sullen child, and he was always asleep. And he'd taken to hanging out with the stupid wig. There went any friendship they could possibly have. He hated the stupid wig's guts.

But since he liked being close to sensei, he tended to stay longer at the school along with Zura and Gintoki. The precious extra time with sensei was worth being mistaken as friends with the two bastards.

And he thought that was it, until sensei came back with another child in tow who looked exactly like him. After a few embarrassing moments, it turned out she was his orphaned niece.

She was different than Gintoki. She took school seriously and much to his surprise, also took kendo along with all the boys. While their female classmates ran home after school to play with their dolls and learn god-knows-what, she picks up a bamboo sword and swings it around.

Like Gintoki, she had a real sword she carried with her at all times but never used. It was her father's only memento, sensei told them.

But she did learn how to cook well after finding out that Shouyo-sensei, teacher extraordinaire, can only make miso soup and sweetened tamagoyaki. It took her two weeks to complain since she came there. Apparently, she thought their food menu was a weekly schedule thing.

Since the four of them tended to stay behind longer than anyone, they were always together.

Zura had taken to treating her like his own little sister and she seemed quite pleased with that most of the time except when she's beating him down for his stupid comments.

It was obvious that she enjoyed Gintoki's attention most of all. Maybe because they were both adopted and was told to consider each other as siblings. Gintoki never really said much but easily brings a smile to her face, whether he's giving her fruits from trees the boys had climbed or correcting her stance in kendo. She took to calling him 'nii-chan' whether in school or it's just them.

And then there's him. She never really talked much to him or at all for that matter. She had taken to looking at him warily and would just smile at a corner while he's arguing with Gintoki and Zura. Zura once said that she must hate him, but really, he just didn't know how to treat her. He doesn't even know if he wants to be that close to her, like a brother.

He did decide he wanted to get closer to her when she beat Zura at practice. She moved fast and her strikes were no less as forceful as a boy's. He was there when after she won, she smiled so beautifully that every boy in the dojo gaped at her. He never really gave much thought to the fact that she was a girl and that she could in fact be considered as 'beautiful'. But she was, and he found himself more confused than ever.

Since then, dealing with her started to get exhausting.

She was strong and trying to get stronger. He thought she probably won't appreciate him treating her like she's a delicate being, like he does his sisters. She wanted to be an equal. So he treated her thus, and boy, did it backfire quickly on him.

She hated him more than ever when he called her names he normally used on Zura, or tried to look down on her, much like he does again, to Zura. Zura had never minded, but she…she…

She technically blows up like a volcano.

And worst of all, sometimes she ends up crying.

He quickly realized he didn't like her tears.

But he was stupid, back then. And he still kept saying the wrong things.

She started avoiding him, but technically, that's impossible, since they stay behind to practice more than anyone else.

So he continued to infuriate her and she continued to beat him down.

He did think he could make amends, though…

It was the town festival and girls are usually given new kimono for the event. His sisters all had new ones every year so he was used to complimenting them. They did afford the best kimonos in town.

He was walking down the street to buy some candy when he saw her standing outside the kimono shop, looking ahead at a girl and her father who had given her a new kimono.

Thinking that it was his chance to make peace with her, he approached her.

"Oh? You want one? That thing doesn't suit you," he opened and before he could continue what he was saying, she turned to him with a glare and trembling lips before she ran away crying.

The words 'My sisters always have the most beautiful kimonos, I'm sure I could get them to lend you one of their old ones,' died on the tip of his tongue.

Shinsuke kicked himself mentally, 'What the hell? Did I use the wrong tone?' How does he manage to screw up his relationship with Miwa without even trying?'

But anyway, if anything, he knows how to make amends. And this was one he could still save. So he ran home and asked his sisters for their old kimonos. After explaining that he's planning to let Miwa borrow it, his sisters were all thrilled to give him their old ones that would probably be her size, and he ignored their comments about his young love. It's all they ever obsess about anyway.

Having to praise them as they paraded around him in their new kimonos growing up, he easily picked out the most beautiful one, a kimono of his oldest sister's. They wrapped it for him, complete with some accessories that would 'make Miwa-chan prettier for our little brother.'

He took the parcel and by the time he arrived at Sensei's house, it was already dark.

He was about to enter the house when he paused, suddenly aware of what he's doing. He was suddenly embarrassed and found it hard to just give it to her and apologize.

He was pacing at the top of the stairs trying to gather his courage when Gintoki arrived with Zura.

"What are you doing out here?" Zura asked.

"Shut up, Zura! I'm trying to concentrate!" Shinsuke said and went back to pacing.

"Are you trying to poop? In front of Sensei's house?" Zura continued.

"Like hell I am! Stop with your poop jokes, it's never funny!" Shinsuke yelled back.

And then a girly squeal erupted from the house, "Shouyo-sensei, it's beautiful!" they heard Miwa exclaim.

Shinsuke was confused, "What's that about?"

"Sensei must have showed her the kimono we all bought for her this afternoon. She did seem pretty upset earlier so we thought this would cheer her up. What's that you're holding?" Zura asked.

Shinsuke was just so angry at himself that he just ran away.

That night, he thought he'd just go up and apologize directly to Miwa the next day. He tried to ignore his sisters laughing about their heartbroken little brother.

The next day, he was stunned. Miwa was really beautiful in her new kimono. He was planning to complement her when he started thinking that the kimono he brought for her would have been more beautiful on her.

So what came out of his mouth was, "Seriously, why do you bother Sensei with such things?" and before he knew it, she was on him, scratching and punching. Some men had to pry her off him when he was bleeding from a burst lip.

He couldn't even get in a word of what he was supposed to tell her. 'You could have depended on me, even just this once…'

Well, his mother and sisters were furious but then he explained to them what was really happening, how he just wanted to be friends, but ends up saying the wrong things.

And man, did they all suddenly turn teary-eyed at him and his father even patted him on the back, saying, "Don't worry, son. You'll learn eventually. Just enjoy your youth as much as you can."

"He'll be a big man before we know it. Oh, how time sure flew," one of his sisters quipped.

He was more confused and he realized he had a crazy family.

When Sensei came to apologize later that evening, his family welcomed him with so much enthusiasm that left even Shouyo confused.

It was reminiscent of how they treated the parents of his oldest sister's fiancé.

Shinsuke's eyes widened.

Did they think he was in love with Miwa?!

If he ever thought it was awkward before, it was borderline on suffocating now. Miwa was more apprehensive towards him since the festival. She took offense in every little thing he did. Well, he did make her cry a few more times from his insensitive remarks. Why can't he just shut up? Can't he just take her retorts lying down? He's just making their relationship worse. Why can't he be closer to her, like how Gintoki and Zura was. They all get along swimmingly like it was the most natural thing in the world but when he's added to the mix, it explodes. And his mother and sisters won't stop pestering him about his love for Miwa. He's not in love with her! He just wants to be friends, close friends, godammit!

His day came though. Sooner than he thought.

They were looking for Zura's pet, which, in his opinion, should never ever be found, and Miwa accidentally sprained her ankle when they fell into a pit.

Well, it was understandable that he's worried about her because no matter what kind of strained relationship they have at the moment, they were still growing up together. She totally didn't have to look like he'd insult her in this situation. He does care, dammit!

He sat vigilant as Miwa slept beside him. He swatted the mosquitoes that attempted to bite her and that stupid lizard that almost crawled inside her clothes. He also kept an eye out for snakes, who knows if there's one lurking in the crevices.

He made sure he was as comfortable as possible, she did need rest after being in the mountain since that morning and it was night already.

He wished for help to come soon. Miwa's ankle was swelling and the bruises in her normally flawless skin was showing. But there she was, sleeping soundly beside him, unconsciously holding onto the side of his clothes. And he stared at her peaceful face. She trusts him. Despite all their fights, she trusted him to protect her.

Takasugi smiled and sighed to himself.

"She's right. I'm a horrible person. I'm in love with her and yet I always make her cry,"

So starting that day, Takasugi Shinsuke changed for Igarashi Miwa.

hope you enjoyed it. :)