I saw Catelyn the while she was preparing to leave for Storm's End. "Good morning, Catelyn!" I called. I wandered over towards her and rubbed her horse's head. "How long do you think you'll be gone for?" I asked.

"Quite a while. I haven't seen Renly in ages and I don't know how hard it will be to convince him to side with us. The ride to the Stormlands is over a fortnight. I won't be back for a good while," Catelyn told me with a sigh. "You will be the Lady in charge here while I'm away." We both laughed.

"When do you think Theon will be getting back to the North?"

"A little more than a fortnight I'd assume. Pyke is much closer. I guess it depends on how long he visits with his father."

"You don't think he'd leave us, do you?" I asked.

"Ned and I raised him. I'd like to hope he wouldn't desert us so quickly. Unless you think he might. I know you two are close."

"We were best friends from the moment he arrived in Winterfell. That was one thing that never changed. He's like my brother, I don't want to believe that there's even a chance he might change his mind about our family. But..."

"You think he might go against us? The Iron Islands are the smallest kingdom in the realm. No one would come to their rescue, they alienated everyone during their coup."

"I'm sure Theon would try to tell his father all that, but family has always been important to him. If his father staged another rebellion while the crown is weak, I'm not sure Theon could refuse."

"Blood has always been important to him, not family. There's a fine line between who your family is and where your blood comes from. Is this about him not saying goodbye to you before he left? Are you afraid that was his way of telling you his plans?"

"Theon and I never say goodbyes. Friends should never have to permanently leave each other. We never say anything as final as goodbye."

"If only that were true." She looked off into space for a second, lost in her thoughts. I bounced on the balls of my feet unable to shake the feeling something was going to go wrong. "Nervous hands are never good, pack your things. You'll ride me to the Stormlands."

"Robb will never let me go, he'll say it's too dangerous," I said more bitterly than I had planned.

"If he didn't think you could take care of yourself, he would send you back to Winterfell. I'll convince him it's a good idea."

"Alright, thank you." I started to turn away and she touched my shoulder.

"Amina, I remember when Theon first came to Winterfell and you two met. If anyone of us here has an idea as to what is going on in that boy's head, it's you. But I also know that he cares for you too. I can't believe that he'd walk away from that without a second thought. There's more to family than blood."

OoOoO

The journey to Storm's End was even longer than I had expected it to be. When we arrived I felt like I had been on horseback for a year, even though it wasn't nearly that long. After brief introduction to Renly and his wife, I retired to my room. Though I couldn't stay still for long, and soon found myself wandering around.

"Amina Winterfell," Renly said coming up to me patting me on the shoulder. "That name just rolls off the tongue doesn't it?"

"I guess."

"But soon you'll be Amina Stark, Queen in the North. That's exciting isn't it?"

Renly was a bit too chipper for my tastes. I was regretting leaving my quarters. "You know, I think I should go speak with Catelyn."

"Nonsense! I'm having you both come for dinner, something of a feast, in honor of your arrival. You can speak with her then. I'd love to give you a tour, while we have the chance."

I sighed giving in. I followed him all over Storm's End and wished again that I hadn't left my room, or that I had at least worn better shoes. Then we came across Loras Tyrell, who was talking to his sister Margaery, the queen. There was a look shared between Renly and Loras. It took me a second to place, but when I did it seemed obvious.

"I just remembered there was something I needed to attend to. I'm sure my lovely queen will finish giving you the grand tour," Renly apologized.

"Of course," Margaery said nodding. We both watched as the two men walked of talking quietly. "I'm sorry about him. He gets excited about showing off his accomplishments."

"I can tell he's proud," I said looking around.

"Youngest child syndrome, I'm afraid." We both laughed at her husband. She led me up the stairs and onto a beautiful balcony overlooking the lands.

"Your husband is in love with your brother you know," I said.

"It has come to my attention," she said tersely.

"And you haven't done anything about it?" I asked shocked.

"What should I do? He is the king and I am his queen. There is not much I can do about my situation, besides try to quell the rumors. Few people marry for love these days."

I looked away towards the sunset. "That's true enough."

"What about you and Robb? I was surprised to hear you two are still unwed. Are you sure that's wise?"

I continued to stare at the pretty colors the sky cast over the land. Pinks and purples swirled through the sky and I tried to imagine what the sky looked like from anywhere else. "I love him. I'm just not in love with him."

"You grew up with him as your brother, that has to feel odd."

"I always knew I was going to marry him, so that isn't it. He is one of the kindest people I know. If it were not for Sansa and Arya being taken, I don't know if the war would have ever started."

"Does he love you?"

"He does. It breaks my heart, sometimes I think it would be easier if he were indifferent."

There was a long pause as we both watched the sun finish setting. The twilight was even more beautiful and I just wanted to sit here forever.

"Trust me it's not."

"What?" I asked.

"It isn't easier, being married to someone who's indifferent to your presence." Margaery shook her head slightly. "Everyone knows that we haven't even consummated our marriage yet. It's like he wants them to know! He won't even try! I don't care if he doesn't love me. I just don't want to be embarrassed like this!"

"Just give him time. Coming from someone forced to marry a person they aren't in love with, I know time is the only thing you can give."

"Are you in love with someone else then?" She asked. I nodded. "Then I guess you know what you're talking about. It's my duty, and yours, as queen to bear the next in line to the throne. It's like women are just a tool to make sure that life runs smoothly. Why are we forced into marriages we don't want?"

"I want to be queen," I mumbled. It was my immediate response, the only thing that kept me from running away, a survival instinct.

"I do too, more than anything." Just by looking at her you could tell she was in it for the dresses, and riches. She wasn't interested in fixing this world or anything honorable like that. I could see how Margaery and Renly made a good match, at least on the surface. "Where's the man you love? Does Robb know about him? Is he a soldier in Robb's army with whom you're having a secret affair?"

"No, Robb doesn't know. Catelyn knows, but Robb does not. But it doesn't really matter, he's gone."

"Did he die in battle?" She asked. There was something about her, a young girlish quality that made me instantly like her. At first glance, she reminded me of Sansa. But Sansa had never been so endearing.

"No, he's not dead. He joined the Night's Watch."

She gasped. "Only criminals join the Night's Watch."

"It wasn't always like that, joining the Night's Watch used to be an honor. That's all he wanted, somewhere he could fit in and be a part of something. In a lot of ways he was my polar opposite. He always wanted to fit in, where I always wanted to stand out."

"I wish I had someone out there who was in love with me. Even if I couldn't be with him, knowing he's out there would be enough." She sighed dreamily.

"It's not enough. I want to be with him so badly it hurts. That's what keeps me going more than anything else, if I become queen maybe I could bring him back to me."

"I hope the two of you can be together, I think you deserve a person who loves you and who you love back."

"You do too," I said.

"Unfortunately it's too late for me. I guess I should make the most of what I have."

OoOoO

Catelyn and I had been a guest of the Baratheons for a while. In that time Margaery and I had become good friends. I realized that in my 18 years, I'd never really gotten a chance to be friends with girls. There were Sansa and Arya of course, but Sansa and I were total opposites and Arya was half my age.

The only other girls I'd come in contact with were my handmaidens, and a few local prostitutes. The whores always had the best gossip. If you shared a story, they share a tip to please your lover. Not that I'd had any chances to use their advice. The time I'd planned to, it hadn't worked out.

Most of the whores were nice enough. The only one I openly disliked was Ros, but that was Theon's fault. I couldn't blame him though, he hadn't had any idea about me and Jon. He'd thought he was doing Jon a favor by sending the redhead up to his room. I proceeded to make a huge fool out of myself.

But, anyway, enough of that. I'd rather not recount the horrid details in this journal, I already had to live through it once.

I browsed the selection of green dresses, brought to my room by Margaery's handmaidens. Margaery had assured me green was my color. But I suspected she was just tired of the color, and happy to be rid of a few. None of the dresses were quite my style. Each had plunging necklines and soft floaty fabrics.

I set aside the dresses I had worn already: a pale green dress with lace cap sleeves, and a bright green dress with lots of ruffles. This left two more to chose from. I sighed. It wasn't that I had an aversion to dressing up, I wasn't a tomboy like Arya. But, I didn't feel like wasting hours of getting ready on another dinner. Catelyn and Renly would discuss strategy and peace. Margaery and I would pretend to listen, but really be gossiping. This routine had gotten quite stale.

I tossed aside a hunter green dress with a neckline well below my chest. Instead I chose an elegant light green dress, that almost glowed. I slipped it on and admired myself in the mirror. I wondered if I ever would have worn something like this in my old life. Maybe a different color, but the style seemed just right. Catelyn chose this moment to appear and I lost my train of thought.

"You look beautiful," Catelyn told me.

"Thank you. We should visit the South more often. It has done wonders for my complexion. My skin feels so light and airy without the wind and the chills."

"The weather is beautiful here, after Robb wins the war I'm sure the two of you can visit more often."

"Or we could move to King's Landing like every other king and queen," I suggested. I picked up a brush and began running it through my hair to tame the wavy locks.

"That's true." Catelyn offered a purple and gold pendant that I had been wearing daily and I slid it on. "Whatever happened to that necklace you used to wear? The one with that symbol you created, what did you call it when you were little, a Stargaryen?"

I laughed. "Yeah that was it. I'm not sure. I must have left it back in Riverrun. Though now that you mention it, I don't remember the last time I wore it. I hope I didn't lose it, it was a gift from Theon."

"You wore it everywhere after you got it. The chain had to be replaced twice."

"It was my very own house sigil, I was proud of it."

"We'll look for it when we get back."

"Do you think it would feel strange, to go to King's Landing, I mean?" I asked. Catelyn began twisting my hair into a tight bun at the nape of my neck.

"Why would it feel strange?" Catelyn asked confused.

"I don't know. My family lived there for generations."

"I'm sure that you-" Catelyn was cut off by Margaery bursting into the room. She made a noise that was somewhere between a gasp and a squeal. "I'll leave you girls to finish getting ready."

"Mina, that dress looks perfect on you! It never really fit me quite right and now I know why, it was made for you." She picked up a gold vine looking hairpiece and slid it around my head to complete the look. "Perfect. You're taking this entire outfit home with you, no protests."

"Where am I supposed to wear it? Winter is coming. This fabric is much too thin." I grabbed a handful of silky fabric to prove my point.

"You sound just like a Stark!" She pouted.

"Because I am one!"

"Not by blood," she said matter-of-factly.

"Just because I'm not Catelyn's blood, does not mean I am not still her daughter. I am a Stark whether it is in my lineage or not. Anyway, my real family died before I was born, the Starks raised me."

"How do you know your whole family died? Do you know what house you're really from?" She looked at me expectantly, egger for a bit of gossip.

"Yes, but it doesn't matter."

"A lesser house then. That's alright, I won't think of you any differently. Like you said, you are a Stark after all," she gave me a half hug and then blew a kiss as she ran out of the room. "See you at dinner!"

If only she really knew my house. She might fall over and die just from the pure drama of it all. I shook my head and turned back to the mirror to take one final look. Perfect.