I woke up the next morning from the sounds of my father screaming at me from down the stairs. Little did he know, he interrupted my pleasant dreams of the events from yesterday and how I twisted them into perfect scenarios. I was beaming from ear-to-ear, despite my horrid life. Even though I had probably embarrassed myself so badly that he would never want to talk to me again, I had still seen him; looked into his eyes. His perfect, perfect eyes.
Before I headed out the door, I grabbed a Pop Tart and some orange juice. My head was so filled up with glee that I did not even process the terrible words my father was spitting at me. Instead, I practically bounced out the door and floated through the air to school.
The kids outside the main doors yelled profanity at me, but I just ignored them. I marched right up to the entrance and straight to my locker. I felt so alive for once, but that all came to a harsh stop when I saw him walk through the double-doors. My knees went weak and butterflies came over me. I hid my face behind my locker door, hoping it would shield me. I hoped and prayed he was not coming my way. Behind me, I heard footsteps and without thinking, I grabbed my books, slammed my locker, and practically ran away. I was almost all the way down the hall when I turned my head back to see him still standing in front of my locker door, staring at me with hopeful eyes.
The last bell rang for the day and I practically flew out of my seat. I was determined to make it to my locker and mad dash out the doors before I had to face him. It was kind of funny how things had so suddenly taken a change. It seemed only moments ago that I was floating on air and then popped suddenly like a balloon.
My plan was following through smoothly. I was headed out the doors and through the grassy area. It was only a few steps until I would reach the sidewalk and be on my usual route home. However, I had a bit of an interference with my schedule.
"Uh…hey," I heard a familiar voice call from behind me. I turned around instinctively and soon regretted it.
"Hey," I mumbled shyly. I could feel my face go red.
"Uh, are you, uhm, blushing?" he asked.
"What? Um, no. Uh…uh…" I was stuttering and could not help it. Just his presence was making me shaky.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm, uhm, fine. I, uh, have to go now…bye," I turned around, staring at the grass. Here I was again, making a complete and utter idiot of myself.
"Hey, look. I, uh, I wanna talk to you about…uh, yesterday. So, could you maybe, possibly meet me at, uh, Starbucks or something…tomorrow…maybe?" he looked shy as well, also staring at the ground. I also noticed a slight pink tint to his cheeks.
"Uh…yeah… that would be…great. What, uhm, time?"
"I-I'll meet you after the last, uh, bell… if that's alright…" he questioned unsurely.
"That's…that's fine."
"Uh, cool. I'll be," he cleared his throat, "waiting for you outside,"
I nodded my head slightly and turned around to walk home before I did anything else to further embarrass myself. I was only a few steps away when he called to me once again.
"Uh, hey, uhm, wait!"
I stopped, confused and looked back. "Yes?" I asked, puzzled.
He shook his head violently and suddenly as if he had abruptly changed his mind. "N-n-nevermind."
I nodded questioningly and turned to attempt my route home, this time without any interruptions. The whole way, I wondered what he had to ask me. The suspicion was killing me. Maybe he was going to say that he was looking forward to tomorrow. Or perhaps he would tell me the answer to my question from yesterday that kept bugging me inside. Maybe he was even going to say that he liked me! Whoa, slow down there, brain. There is no chance in Hades that he would have said that.
All the positive things I was thinking were crowding my head so full that it was like a slap in the face when I realized that negative responses were possible as well. Maybe he was going to cancel. Perhaps he would tell me that I was a freak and to go away. These thoughts carried my all the way home. When I walked through the front door, I was already in a bad mood, so my dad was NOT a pleasant sight. Somehow, I had escaped being beaten up to-day but I had a feeling that wasn't going to last for much longer.
"Hello, worthless," my dad smiled.
I tried my best to ignore him and sauntered into the kitchen to grab some Oreos. They were my favourite after-school snack. At least going home had one perk. Although, I'm not sure chocolate-and-crème cookies make up for all the horrible things I have to deal with each and every day.
"Are you hard of hearing?" he continued.
I grabbed around five and turned away to walk to my bedroom. I just didn't want to talk to my dad. Not now and not ever. However, I could feel him looming over me like a phantom. I knew he wouldn't leave until I gave him what he wanted.
"You should really talk to your own dear father. I won't be here forever, you know." My dad sneered.
I reached my door and threw my things inside the room with rage. I could feel my face getting very hot. Marching down the hallway and up to my father, I spit at him and yelled, "THE SOONER THE BETTER!"
"Now don't be like that. That would mean I would have to see that bitch again,"
"MY MOTHER WAS NOT A BITCH. You disgust me," I cried.
"She was and you are, too. It runs in the family, I suppose. It only makes sense that she would give birth to a little faggot like you,"
I was on the brink of tears and knew I had to be strong. My father would NEVER see me cry. Instead, I stood up tall and took a deep breath.
"Well maybe you guys wouldn't have to deal with worthless little me if you HADN'T FUCKING RAPED HER!" I screamed in his face, making him laugh his horrid, ugly laugh.
"Oh, Frank. You get yourself so worked up sometimes. But I think I know how to make it all better. What do you say?"
"KEEP YOUR FUCKING SELF OUT OF ME!" I couldn't take it anymore. I ran straight to my room and slammed the door behind me. I lept onto my bed and cried. I cried for hours until my head was beating so heard I felt like throwing up. Then, I resorted to my blade. I knew I shouldn't, but who would care? I was certain there was only one thing keeping me on this Earth.
One person.
Gerard Way.