Confession time. This wasn't the chapter I'd set out to write. It was supposed to be the first part. Like Fryg/Bard's chapter was supposed to be a brief intro to this chapter. We'll get to where I'm trying to go eventually. Have some brotherfluff in the meantime. Also, thank you to all the lovely readers who've faved and/or followed. Although I'd love to hear your opinion about it via reviews or even pms, your silent lurking is just as appreciated. Shoutout to HidingintheShadow, ZabuzasGirl, and Trance Gemini (if you've been waiting for some sign that you should make an actual account, this is it) because repeat reviewers make for a happy writer.

It was obvious to Fíli that Kíli's health had deteriorated further as the morning progressed. Wordlessly, the older brother helped his brother dress in the borrowed armor away from the other companions. Kíli had struggled at first, refusing the help, but he had not the strength to fend off his concerned brother. At least Fíli had moved them away from the group so Kíli's weakness would not be exposed. The older brother hoped he would not regret this decision, but his gut screamed at him that he would in the near future. Fíli understood Kíli's desire completely, but he was torn by his concern for Kíli's health. He did not know if it would be the better thing to take him or leave him. What would be the better brotherly decision? In the end, Fíli knew he could not enter the halls of Erebor without Kíli by his side. They would see it together or not at all.

"Remember your promise, Kíli, you stay in the back and out of trouble," Fíli grumbled while fixing a strap of a shoulder piece.

Kíli nodded weakly, "I'll do as I'm told. Just this once though, so you ought not get used to it." Even in this state, he still managed to flash a cheeky grin. Kíli would be Kíli, even when potentially dying.

Fíli was somewhat comforted by the fact his brother still had his humor about him. If Kíli didn't have the spirit to make a joke, then he didn't have much spirit left. "Good, I'll enjoy it while I can, little brother."

"Little? I prefer younger. I'm still the taller brother, brother," He cracked another grin, even though pain lurked in his expression.

Fíli just rolled his eyes at the technicality while adjusting his own armor. It fit well enough, but it wasn't as well made as Dwarf craftsmanship. Although, they were lucky the Laketown people had any at all that was somewhat decent. However, he tried not to think of the futility of it. What armor could protect against a dragon's fire? For that matter, what weapon could slay a dragon? They had failed when their numbers had been great. How could they succeed now? Dain had not joined them in this quest. Would he really join them later even if Thorin had the Arkenstone? Would the other Dwarf lords rally against a dragon for the sake of Durin's Folk? Could they even win?

Doubt crept into his heart, and Fíli wondered for the first time if perhaps Thorin was wrong. He did not like the feeling, but it would not go away. His thoughts turned to the consequences of waking the dragon. He thought of Kíli, and unbidden, he thought of Fryg. Perhaps, if he was lucky, he would be able to keep Kíli from facing the wrath of the dragon, but how would he protect Fryg? Without doubt, Smaug would attack Laketown. Would she die for his quest? Would she burn for him? So lost in thought, Fíli had not caught Kíli's question.

"What was that?"

"Distracted by thoughts of your lady friend?"

"Yes…I was," Fíli answered truthfully, but he did not care to share what those thoughts were in detail. His brother would not understand, and truthfully, Fíli did not want him too. They were too dark for his younger brother. Fíli would not want Kíli to be burdened by his worries.

"So could she tell?"

"Tell what?" Fíli did not like where Kíli was going with that question.

"That it was your first time."

Fíli's cheeks burned bright red, and he openly glared at his brother after furtively glancing around to make sure no one else had heard. "That is highly inappropriate, Kíli," He used his scolding voice, saved only for the most embarrassing of moments.

"Easy, brother, I meant no offense. I was just curious," His sly grin caused Fíli's blush to deepen.

Fíli rubbed at his beard, and cleared his throat before answering quietly, "…she seemed…pleased…so…I…would assume not? I don't know…" He felt flustered despite knowing Kíli was only doing this to distract him from his brother's health.

"So you did sleep with her!" He seemed slightly shocked yet happily so.

"Wha-ugh…" He'd walked into that trap so blindly. "Yes, yes I did."

"How was it?"

"What? No, I'm not telling you about that…"

"But you're my older brother and you're supposed to educate me about these sorts of things. How else am I supposed to learn about women and their mysteries?" He tried to feign an innocent look, but it failed miserably. However, there was an element of truth to his words. Their father had died when they were young, and Thorin was not good about that sort of education. Although they loved their mother, neither party had ever brought up the subject.

There had been a few opportunities, but the brothers hadn't been all too interested in women while in the Blue Mountains. Oh, of course, Kíli flirted whenever there was a chance, but it had never been serious. Fíli was less forward. Admittedly, his younger brother attracted more attention, but that was all right by him. Finding someone hadn't been all that important. They were still young after all, and there just weren't that many options available given the uneven gender populations.

"Fine. It was…" Fíli struggled to find a suitable description. "Physically, it was incredible, but that wasn't what made it so…that's not the hard part to describe…" This was impossible. Kíli just sat there staring expectantly at him. It reminded him of the first time he'd come home from a hunting trip with Thorin. Kíli had been deemed too young to go and the moment Fíli returned, he'd nearly tackled him, demanding all the details. That had been an easier experience to describe. "All I could think of was her. She was everything. All I could see or feel or hear was her…it was like the world shrank to just the two of us. There was nothing else, and I…after…the way she felt in my arms after…" He'd opened his arms, staring at the empty space as if he saw her there. "Do you remember the first time you ever held a bow? Not just playing around as children, but the first time you really held it, the first time it felt apart of you. It felt like that…just so complete…" His voice trailed off for fear that it would begin to shake. He should not have left her so quickly. He should have called out her name as she'd walked away. He should have kissed her one last time.

There was an unexpectedly long silence that followed. Fíli had expected his brother to start pestering him for more details about the physical nature of his evening, but nothing was asked. He did not mind the silence. It gave him time to compose himself. However, it couldn't last. Kíli could hold his tongue for only so long. "I can't wait to meet her once we deal with the oversized lizard with wings," Kíli chirped merrily, his tone an odd juxtaposition with his paling face. A fever had started to develop, but that wasn't going to dampen his mood.

Fíli's expression darkened at both Kíli wanting to meet Fryg and his disregard for Smaug. Sometimes even Fíli couldn't tell quite when Kíli was purposefully downplaying something or actually didn't think much of something. He hoped Kíli was taking Smaug seriously. "I told you, she doesn't think anything of us."

Kíli frowned and his genuine sadness for his brother shone through his illness, "she couldn't have meant it. How could she? I bet anything she's thinking about you right this moment."

"Even if she is, what would it matter? She said there's no future for us."

"And do you believe that?"

"Her reasoning made sense."

"Forget reason, brother! There's nothing reasonable about romance. You think too much," Kíli made his point by tapping his brother with a finger on the forehead. Fíli moved his head to end the assault on his forehead, but Kíli only proceeded to poke him in the cheek until the older brother grabbed hold of the younger's hand.

"Stop that."

"I'll stop when you stop being so negative. What's gotten into you?" He paused, "Or rather, who've you gotten into would be the better question." Kíli shrunk away slightly from his brother's steely glare. "No, not the better question, as I was saying…" And his demeanor changed from trickster to concerned brother in the blink of an eye. Kíli freed his hand from Fíli's in order to place it on an unarmored part of his brother's arm. "If you have feelings for her, and she has feelings for you, which she'd be mad not to, then there's a future for the two of you. If you can't see the path, that doesn't mean it's not there. It just means that you'll just have to be bold enough to make one. It won't be easy, but that doesn't mean it's not possible. Maybe she's your personal Erebor."

Fíli did not know how to respond to Kíli's speech. It always caught him off guard when Kíli revealed the deeper nature of his thoughts. "None of it makes any sense, Kíli. We just met. I could outlive her by over a hundred years. Thorin would never accept it. It just can't be done."

"Brother, we're about to enter a mountain through a secret door that we only have a few shreds of light to find which is guarded by a enormous dragon who exiled us and destroyed two great cities. If we can accomplish reclaiming this Erebor, you can find a way to be with your Erebor. Our entire lives have been based around attaining the impossible. Why stop after today? As for having just met her, well, maybe you've just gotten lucky and fate's letting you know she's for you without having to muck through all the awkwardness of courtship."

Speechless, Fíli stared at his brother with his jaw slightly slack. After the initial moment of shock, he tried to smooth his expression to not seem so astonished at his brother's levity about the situation. Perhaps, Kíli was growing up after all. They both were it would seem. Their mother would hardly recognize them at the end of this.

"I'm reckless, Fíli, but I'm not a fool," He grinned again, pleased with himself at having shocked his brother into silence. "I know the sort of danger we're facing. Admittedly, I did not know when we left how dangerous this would be, but I've since realized my mistake."

Despite all his concerns, Fíli managed a chortle at his brother's confession. "In truth, I had not realized either. I think mother may have been right in not wanting us to come. Or at least, I can understand her concerns."

"It's a strange thing to realize you're changing in the middle of the process."

"So you've become less reckless? Because I'm going to have to disagree."

"No, of course not, I just now realize how reckless I am! Mother was right. I really should apologize when we see her next."

The brothers chuckled together, both thinking of their mother's expression at Kíli apologizing for all his reckless behavior. The chuckle faded into a sad silence.

"I miss her, Fíli. Sometimes, when I first wake up in the morning, I forget for a moment we're not still with her, and then I remember how far away we are from each other."

"I miss her too, but just imagine how good it will be when we see her again."

"I hope it's sooner rather than later," Kíli murmured, his stone promise to his mother back in his hands. He was never without it. Fíli was mildly surprised that the engraving hadn't begun to wear given how frequently Kíli turned the talisman in his hand.

"It'll be soon enough, Kíli," Fíli wished he could make it a promise, but he did not like making promises he could not keep. However, he desperately wanted his words to be true. "We just have to reclaim Erebor first, and then the four of us can be together again. I'm sure Thorin's missing her too. He'll be happy for the reunion as well."

"Sounds easy enough," Kíli responded to his brother's attempt at cheering him up with a slight smile. "The only issue I see is having to wait for Thorin to ready himself."

"He does take forever."

"Worse than mother."

"He does have a lot of hair to manage."

"Is it just me or does it have more grey in it lately?"

"Definitely more grey in it as of late."

The two bantered on about their uncle lightheartedly in order to ignore the heaviness of the day that would follow. Their mother had said they were too young to go on this quest, and both knew she had been right at the time. However, the quest itself had aged them, and now they were not so young anymore. Fíli could not help but wonder who he and his brother would be at the end of this quest for he knew they would not be the same young dwarves who left the Blue Mountains. No, those were not even the dwarves who now stood beneath the shadow of the Lonely Mountain. Those carefree youths had not survived the journey, but the dwarves who'd taken their place…Fíli felt a flicker of hope that they might just survive this day. After all, Kíli was right. Difficulty did not determine possibility. With his brother at his side, perhaps it would be possible to gain both his Erebors.