Clark Kent was yanked from a pleasant dream by a quiet 'wumf' noise in the middle of the night.
He had been ready to dismiss it and go back to sleep when it repeated and the next thing he knew cold fingers made contact against his skin, very nearly making him yelp in surprise.
Looking about at the unfamiliar surroundings, he quickly realised he was in a motel room somewhere between Las Vegas and Kansas.
With his wife.
So it hadn't been a crazy dream after all.
Clark could see Cordelia's eyes were still closed as she settled her head on his chest, realising the noises he'd heard had been Cordelia throwing away the two pillows he'd used to put up a makeshift wall between them.
She had removed the obstacles easily as she sought him out. Even when she was asleep, Cordelia was determined to get her own way.
He had gotten to know her better on the drive from Las Vegas. Cordelia had been one of those rich, pretty girls that always seemed to run around high schools in those little cliques, verbally ripping apart anyone who got in their path. Usually someone like me.
Until her parents had gotten in trouble and she'd had her life turned upside down. I will NOT feel sorry for her. We're getting divorced just as soon as I can convince her and that is that.
Cordelia had managed to fill most of the hours with conversation. It was exhausting.
Their talk wasn't limited to anecdotes about Smallville and each others personal histories, heavily edited in my case.
Clark was willing to bet he now knew things about her nobody else did.
Cordelia seemed to have an opinion on everything, from other drivers, to radio advertisements, to how she was going to invest her newly earned money, her words, even how she was going to take him shopping for some new clothes, Clark shuddered in horror, Clothes shopping! I'd rather chug liquid Kryptonite again! And there is nothing wrong with what I'm wearing thank you very much.
So when he looked over and saw she'd finally fallen asleep after he'd limited his answers to yes or no for the last hour, he understood that old saying with full meaning.
Silence really was golden.
Before she'd fallen asleep, Clark had tried, in a roundabout way, to find out why she was so against divorce, despite the fact that she'd had plenty to say about everything, he didn't think it was because of some sort of religious or moral principle.
As far as he could tell, Cordelia Kent just seemed to enjoy being married.
Cordelia had still been asleep by the time he had found a motel with a vacancy sign.
It had been an easy feat to undo her seatbelt and carry her up to the room without waking her.
She had only stirred once as he worked the key in the lock. Leaning her head back, she opened her eyes long enough to ask a single question.
"Are we there yet?" Looking down, Clark had noticed she seemed to be looking at him while her eyes continually drifted open and closed.
"It's late, we're staying at a motel for the night." It took a while for her sleep addled brain to process his words.
"Okay." Cordelia snuggled her head into his chest and traced her fingertip around one of his shirt buttons. "Big bed? Lots of pillows?" She had asked before yawning and closing her eyes again. Making Clark chuckle.
He had tried asking for a room with two single beds, but fate it seemed had other plans and only the rooms with double beds were available.
So he'd gently put down Cordelia on one side of the bed, made a little wall of pillows in the middle and laid down on the other side in an attempt to settle down for a few hours of sleep.
Despite her request for the real thing, his wife seemed to prefer using his chest as a pillow.
He didn't think the room had been that cold, but apparently Cordelia was cold enough to seek out his body heat. So Clark mentally congratulated himself for removing her shoes when he put her to bed and resolved to buy her the thickest pair of thermal socks for her ice cold feet he could find when they got to Smallville.
"Um, Cordelia?" Clark asked with a little nudge.
"Call me Cordy." She mumbled back, if it hadn't been for Clarks superhuman hearing he would have missed it. Frowning in confusion, Clark played along.
"Okay . . . Cordy?" When he got no reply, Clark was a little more insistent. "Cordy?"
"Mmmmm?" Was the only reply. Unbelievable, she's still asleep.
"You're lying on my chest." Clark waited a few minutes for her to respond, just when he thought he wasn't going to get a reply, Cordelia's sleep heavy words reached him.
"Issss very comfy. Warm" And with that, she entwined her legs with his and pulled herself even closer. Ensuring Clark could feel every inch of his wife's body with every inch of his.
It was as his mind registered this that he realized she was naked. When the hell did she take her dress off?
Averting his eyes by looking up at the ceiling, Clark sighed quietly, She really was very pretty.
With his wife pressing herself liberally up against him. Clark Kent didn't sleep at all for the rest of the night.
The next morning, a few hundred miles away, in Smallville's local coffee shop, the Talon, Lois Lane had just shared the best bit of gossip she'd heard with her cousin Chloe Sullivan.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN CLARK KENT GOT MARRIED?" Chloe screeched at the top of her lungs.
Lois winced as all eyes in the Talon turned to them. Maybe I should have waited until we were alone to break the news. "I overheard Mrs Kent talking to Clark on the phone." Lois whispered.
Mr and Mrs Kent were going to kill her when they found out.
Then she smiled. They weren't the only Mr and Mrs Kent anymore.