How amazing! If anyone actually stayed this long with me and my story…thank
you so much! I love you all! Anyway, I am still open and excited about
getting comments! The address is catrina_winner@sailormoon.com. Okay…here's
the forth chapter! Yay!
Moonlit Past
Chapter 4
The night surrounded Catrina and Shadow, pressing the forest closer to them. Over four months had passed and Shadow was now a full-grown Labrador. She trotted next to Catrina, panting softly. Catrina seemed overly distracted, even more so then usual. With a soft whine, Shadow slipped ahead of her a few feet, before falling back to her side.
"What?" Catrina looked down at the dog. She finally began to notice her surroundings, and realized how dark it had become. "Oh no…not again. C'mon, Shadow, we had better run home. Quatre is going to be so mad at me for missing dinner again…" Both bolted towards the house, running gracefully like a pair of deer, one tall and one small. They reached the house in little over half of an hour, and the air around them now pitch black. Catrina pushed open the door and ran inside, carefully closing it as quietly as she could after Shadow was in. Grabbing the dogs collar so she would make no noise, the two of them began to creep towards the stairs. If they could only make it upstairs…
"Catrina, where have you been? You are driving me nuts staying out late like this!"
*Nod.*
"Um… Hi Quatre, Trowa. I was just taking a walk around the property… That's all. I never went beyond the fence!"
"…Catrina, my property here is about a twenty miles in any direction. You know I did that for privacy. How can you say that you only went on a walk around the property?! That's almost a hundred miles! First, you started to live in the library, then, you decided that you would rather hang out with the animals around here for hours on end rather then see your own brother that hasn't known you until recently, and now, you just leave and wander around until late at night when you try and sneak into the house! Do you know how much I worry about you? If you would at least tell me that you were leaving and wouldn't return for an entire day then I could understand. But just disappearing is insane! I can't take it anymore! And it's not only me, but it's Heero too! He went out to look for you and found absolutely no traces of you! When he got back here, he was actually worried about you. He wanted to keep looking for you, but I told him that it wasn't worth it because you wouldn't come home until you wanted too. Why have you been doing this? Is something bothering you? And if it is, why haven't you come to me, yet? I want you to stop leaving at absurd hours of the night or morning or whatever and join the human race!" Quatre blinked, seeming surprised at himself.
Catrina swallowed and stared at her older brother.
"Quatre…I don't care what you think! I like being by myself! Before I was always alone! And then, just because I discover that I have a huge family that is richer then anything I can imagine, you expect me to change my ways! All I want to do is be alone and I don't think that I need to tell you everything that I do all the time! I am not a little kid! I lived on my own for most of my life and will continue to do so! And nothing you can say can stop me!" Anger flashing through her eyes, she turned and stomped up the stairs. Quatre heard the door slam, and then everything was silent. He turned to Trowa.
"Have you ever seen her like that before Trowa?"
"No."
"Why in the world was she acting like that? Is there some reason she is mad at me? Was I too harsh on her? I knew that I shouldn't have taken Duo's advice to just tell her what I was thinking."
"No…it was fine, Quatre. She isn't mad at you, rather someone else. I think that she has more on her mind then she prefers. Maybe you should go in and talk to her, quietly and try to figure out why she is in such a mood. However, from the way she responded to your questions, I can guess that she is under a lot of stress and will probably not take whatever you say very well."
"Um…will this be anything like the time that she fractured her leg and had to stay in bed for weeks and everyone made me take care of because I was her brother and 'the only one that could control her'?"
Trowa took a moment to think. "It will probably end up worse then that little incident. Catrina needs someone to vent on, and, well, whoever talks to her about her state of mind will put themselves in the position for Catrina to vent on."
"Worse?"
"Worse."
"Oh no…I can't deal with that! Catrina… Who else would talk to her? Who would let her vent on them?"
Trowa sighed and put his hand on Quatre's shoulder. "Maybe we should give her some time to herself and not bother her for a month or two. When she feels like it, she'll talk to you. Otherwise, I have another plan if she still continues to disappear, but it will take a month or two before I can actually do anything. Does that make you feel better?"
"Well…I guess so. I still wish that there was something that I could do to find out why she is so unhappy."
"Everything will turn out okay, Quatre, I'm sure it will."
*********
A month later, the late afternoon light filtered through the window, finding Quatre, Trowa, and Heero reclined in the library. Catrina had "gone out" again last night around nine and hadn't returned yet.
"Do you think that there could be anything more to worry about?" Quatre asked the two others across from him. Duo had called in around two A.M. from the hospital with news that Hilde had just gone into labor. That was when they discovered that Catrina had gone, taking her horse and the dog. Quatre was worried about her, but, then again, she had always come home before. And they were all very impatient about Hilde and her children.
Suddenly the vidphone began to ring. Quatre lunged for it and swiftly answered it.
"Hello?"
Duo's happy, extremely tired face appeared on the screen. He waved a bandaged hand at the assembled group.
"You wouldn't believe what I've been through."
"Nice to see you too, Duo," Heero mumbled.
"Duo! How's Hilde and the kids?" Quatre was almost bursting with excitement and worry.
"Hilde is fine. The doctor said she only has to stay in the hospital for another two days before she can leave. And the kids…well…they are…um…noisy, I guess. I haven't been able to talk with my wife for more then a moment without one of them starting to cry or 'talk'. You should hear Hilde. 'Oh look Duo, he's trying to say something!' 'He's talking to you, Duo!' Man, I have never seen her so happy before," he smiled.
"Hey, Duo, what happened to you hand?" Quatre asked, noticing the bandaged fingers for the first time.
"Oh, that? Well…Hilde broke four of my fingers and fractured my wrist," he winced at the memory. "The doctor said that they would be healed in a month of two."
"Hilde…broke your fingers?!" Quatre asked in amazement.
"And fractured my wrist. As I see it, I guess I kinda deserved it. Though I think that the name calling was a bit much. Oh well. It's all over now! Thank goodness for that. Oh, by the way, is Catrina around? Hilde asked me to see if she could spend a moment and talk to her."
"Um…actually, we haven't seen her since yesterday. You see, she has been under a lot of stress lately, and is apparently coping with it by disappearing for several days on end," Quatre explained.
"What are you talking about, Quatre? I don't think there is anything in the world that could cause Catrina enough stress that she would have to disappear!"
"Well…" his gaze flickered over to Heero's stony features for a moment, "apparently there is."
"I think that I understand. If you need any help with her, let me know and I'll…um…do…something."
"Thanks, Duo. Would you tell Sally that I sent her the documentation that she asked for earlier this week?"
"Yeah. So, how…" Duo was cut off when a rather loud wailing noise erupted from behind him. "Oh man, not again. Look, guys, I have to go. If you would talk to Catrina the next time you see her, Hilde would be thankful. Um…see ya later!"
"Bye Duo! Good luck being a new dad!" Quatre said as the vidphone flickered off. He yawned and looked over at the clock.
"It's already seven o'clock! And we haven't even eaten dinner yet! Oh dear…" Quatre jumped up and proceeded to herd everyone into the dining room. Heero lingered, staring at the vid-phone, which held his long-time friend's face only a moment ago. Then his gaze tripped up to the window where he could see the sun setting behind the coastline. The ocean was bright, orange and red coloring the water. The sky itself appeared to be going up in flames. It almost appeared as if there was a huge battle occurring far off in the distance, and the explosions were staining the pure clouds. For a single moment, Heero's mind was filled with the screams of the dying. He couldn't hold back a violent shudder.
Why must I think of these things? Why can't I just forget about the war and the killing?
He sighed, softly, because he did not want Trowa or Quatre to hear him. Even with the war over, he realized that he could never become like "normal" people. He might be able to get close, learn to smile and laugh over time, but he could never be what the others were. The training he was forced to endure as a young boy had broken his sprit. He felt as if he was still waiting for orders to move out and kill again. Just waiting…
*********
The three of them were gathered around the table. Trowa and Quatre talked quietly about Duo's new children. Heero stared down at his food, pushing it around, his mind in other places.
"Heero? Have you heard a word I've said in the past ten minutes?" Quatre asked.
"Hn."
"Heero, is something wrong? You seem upset."
Heero raised an eyebrow. The look on his face asked what was wrong with Quatre and of course there was something wrong with him, couldn't he tell? But all he said was, "Hn."
Quatre sighed. "You've been unhappy for quite a while, Heero. I am beginning to worry about you. As if it wasn't enough that Hilde just had two twin baby boys, whom we don't even know the names of yet, and Catrina is having a hard time coexisting with people, but now you have to go and become upset over something, too. Please Heero, if something is wrong, would you just tell us and get it over with?"
Trowa glanced over at the two of them and nodded. "Quatre is right, Heero. You need to let us know what is bothering you so we can help you out with whatever you ne-"
Heero slammed his fist on the table. "There is nothing that is "bothering" me, Trowa." He pushed his chair away from the table in a violent shove and stomped from the room, a deadly glare etched upon his features.
"Heero?" Quatre looked stunned.
"I know what's wrong with him," Trowa said. Quatre looked surprised.
"What?"
"Heero is unhappy with your sister's recent behavior because I believe that he has grown very fond of her in these past few months. He wishes to know what is wrong with her so he can comfort her and therefore become closer to her and enter her ring of trust, which, though he doesn't realize it yet, he is all ready in."
"Wow, Trowa! You should have been a psychologist!" Trowa blinked and said nothing. The two of them retreated to their separate rooms as the night continued to age. Heero, however, did not join them in their retirement. He stood outside on the balcony, quietly staring off into the thick night. Trailers of fog twisted their way through the towering trees. A soft mist filtered down around him, sticking to his eyelashes. Heero noticed none of these things, however. He was too caught up within his own thoughts and musings. The recent dawns had taken on the appearance of bloodstained skies. Little did he know that Catrina had noticed the same change in the surrounding atmospheres, and it had triggered something inside of her that she had been working to forget for years. Once the dark had sheltered him from his sins, but tonight in only crowded his mind and made it even harder to sort through his jumbled thoughts.
*********
Catrina wandered through the forest, searching for something she knew she would never find. Her body cried out for sleep, and she wanted nothing more then to lie down and rest, but if she risked that…it might come back. It could continue to haunt her. Destroy her.
In her mind she cursed the sunrise. It was the cause of all her pain. In the end, it always was. The beginning of a new day always reminded her of how her mother hadn't had the chance to see it. But the blood in the sky. It was horrible. It made her think about the day she had been in the flowers when the sky was darkened forever. The sky had been bloody that day too.
Tears ran down her face. She wiped at them, not realizing it as she did. The pressing darkness had fallen around her a short time ago and now consumed the trees around her, cutting her sight down to a mere five feet. It bothered her little, though. Being blinded be fog and dark wasn't something she wanted to concern herself with. Not today.
Where could she go? There was no place to go… She was stuck here, not able to leave this place. She had too many things to think of, too many things to finish. She sat down on the grass, feeling its moistness soak through her jeans. She ignored the discomfort and lay down. Though she hadn't slept for almost a week, she still wouldn't allow herself to drift off. If she did, the dream would return. It would return. Her mother and the blood. All the blood.
She groaned and flopped a hand over her eyes. She could feel the wetness making her hair stick together. I don't want to think anymore. I want to sleep. No! I can't sleep… The dream will come back! But I'm so tired. I want to sleep. I need to sleep. No…I don't need to sleep. There is no way. I…I…
The ache of fatigue soon took over her body, and she closed her eyes.
*********
Heero squinted into the dark. It was almost pitch black. He could hear Quatre in the background of the house, calling for Catrina, in hopes that she had returned. There was no answer to his strained calls.
Heero sat, thinking. He had to admit that he, too, was curious as to where Catrina had gone off too. There were simply too many places that she could be, where she could hide. And, yet, Heero felt that he owed it to Quatre and, even to Catrina, perhaps, to find where she hid. It was important to Quatre. He needed his sister.
Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Heero thought that he might need her too.
*********
Heero walked out the door, closing it silently behind him. He wished he knew where to begin his search. The only thing he was surrounded with was trees. Lots of trees. Thousands of places for someone like Catrina to hide.
This could be harder then he thought. Even as he wondered where to go, his feet, almost from there own volition, began to walk into the woods. Heero moved in a straight line. Inside, he felt as if he knew where he was going, and where Catrina rested. In his mind, Heero began to wonder if he was going insane. There was no way that anyone could know where Catrina was, unless she had told someone, which she hadn't, or left some obvious trail at the opening of the woods, which she also hadn't done. Why, then, was he so determined to continue the way he was going?
*********
Shadows patterned the entire area in their delicate webs. Buildings and mobile suits loomed in the distance, casting a dark and foreboding feeling throughout the surrounding valley. A young girl, with her chestnut hair bound up in a ponytail, was bent over; picking the brightly colored wildflowers that grew there. Wind shook their stems lightly, and blew the tiny child's hair about. Puffy white clouds drifted lazily through the sky. The day was alive with the songs of birds.
In her young, child-like mind, the wondered if her mother would like the pretty flowers that she picked for her. She reached down, intent on picking a beautiful gold and purple flower free from the ground to complete her mother's bouquet, when, abruptly, the soft quiet of the day was shattered, and the normality of her life was altered forever.
Behind her, the powerful military base, her home, exploded. The ground shook and tossed the child off her feet. Screams of the dying suddenly covered the land like a heavy cloud. The bird songs cut off abruptly and the white clouds turned a deep maroon color, looking like the sky itself was bleeding. Debris rained down throughout the valley and all around the little girl. Burning wood and smoldering metal landed next to the poor, confused child. In moments, the only signs of the beautiful valley that had once resided there, snuggled between the mountains, was clutched in the tiny girl's hand. The flowers she held seemed to wilt before the heat and devastation that they faced.
Standing, the little girl stared at the blackened shell that had once been her only home. Her mother had been in the base when it exploded. But…why would anyone want to hurt her mother? No one would want to hurt her! Not on purpose… The little cherub's eyes clouded with tears as the shining flowers dropped from her fist. She began to run back towards her home, where the painful screams of the dying could still be heard with a clarity that she would remember all her life. She was crying out her own mother's name as she tried to get her short, stubby legs to carry her back to where she was needed.
When she finally reached her home, the last of the enemy's mobile suits were disappearing into the distance. However, her mother was no where to be found. She wasn't near the dark husk of their house, and she wasn't outside in the singed garden she kept.
Sirens shrilled to deaf ears, and dead bodies littered the streets. Few were moving. Those who were seemed in such pain that the little girl somehow wished that they weren't moving at all. She ran up and down the compound rows, searching futilely for her mother. Finally, she located her between two wounded soldiers, who were trying to help her stand. In horror, she could only stare at her once beautiful mother. Half her face was covered in blood, and her left side mangled beyond recognition.
"Mother!" The girl ran towards the half-dead woman, who slowly opened one of her eyes. The soldiers hadn't been able to raise her more then a foot off the ground without her crying out in pain, so they carefully leaned her on a slab of rock. The woman reached her hand out for her little one.
"You…you're okay?" She asked in slow, halting words.
The girl, with tears pouring out of her huge, emerald eyes, she nodded. "I was picking flowers. For you." Realizing she had dropped all her flowers, but a single one, she held it out for her mother. It was a tiger lily.
Her mother smiled, and, although it obviously pained her, reached up for the flower and her daughter. She pulled the girl close to her, and took the flower.
"Thank you…it…it's beautiful. Now…I have…" she winced suddenly, "something…for you. Please take…it and…"
"Mother?" The little girl's eyes widened.
"It's okay, sweetie. I'll be fine. But…I want you to take this…here…hold out your arm…" The girl did as she was told.
The bloody, dying woman lifted her own arm and unclasped a bracelet that rested there. It was interlocking silver with but a single charm. The charm was a tear-shaped emerald that caught the rapidly fading light.
"But…mama, that's your favorite bracelet!" The girl protested as her mother snapped it onto the tiny wrist.
"No…now…now it's yours. My only daughter," she stopped for a moment, as if remembering. "You…are a very…im…important child. You will never kn…know how many people out there love you. I want you to…to call…"
She stopped.
"Mama?"
"Catrina…don't…ever…forget how special…you…are…" At that her mother closed her eyes, and never opened them again. Catrina threw herself on her mother's body, crying.
"Mama? Mom, wake up!! Be okay!! You're okay!! MOMMY!!!" Catrina began to cry harder then any river could run.
Something was shaking her. Something she couldn't see. "What? Who?" She opened her own eyes to see a pair of concerned and unhappy Prussian blues. Tears began to flow unchecked down her cheeks.
Heero, for his part, was surprised he had even found her. She had been lying on the ground so quietly he would have stepped on her, had she not cried out so suddenly. She had been twisting in the grass, crying in her sleep. All he could think of was to awaken her. And now she was crying. He was more confused then he ever had been before.
"Catrina…?"
She looked up at him with wet eyes shining with freshly shed tears. She managed to tell him, in slow, halting words, of her dream. Heero listened silently, without betraying any emotions on his face.
"I've been having…this…this nightmare since I was a little kid. But…once I met you…and…Quatre…and the others…I stopped having it. But…it's come back now. And…it's worse then ever. I don't know why, but…I can't…I can't…" Fresh tears began to fall and she pulled her legs up to her chin.
Heero had no idea what to do. He wasn't used to dealing with distraught women. It just wasn't something he did.
Catrina felt isolated from the world as she sat in the dark, shadows cloaking her body, hugging herself, crying. Her tears seemed echo through the woods. With some kind of baser instinct, Heero leaned over and hugged the shivering female's body to his own.
"Catrina…"
Catrina looked up at Heero. His eyes shone with an acute sadness, something which he didn't usually allow others to see. He leaned towards her, all his questions held in his eyes.
"Heero?"
He didn't speak, but, instead, pressed his lips to hers. She understood, finally. He pulled away from her to peer into her glistening eyes, still wet with tears. She nodded and hugged him to her. For the first time since he was a little boy, Heero could feel himself finally become content. He had all he ever wanted in his arms.
Heero looked so happy. He had a glow about him that made him appear almost as a young boy again, trying to find his way in the world. Catrina smiled and leaned into another kiss.
*********
It was early. Too early. Pre-dawn found Quatre sitting unhappily at the table in the dining room, drinking his tea. He wasn't able to sleep, no matter how hard he had tried. He was too worried about his little sister.
He glanced over at the clock and sighed. Five AM in the morning. What was wrong with him? Catrina would be fine by herself, wouldn't she? He stared into his tea, brooding. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice as the time moved slowly by. He didn't notice his tea getting colder and colder. He didn't notice the clock turn to five thirty.
However, when the clock turned its digital numbers to five thirty-three, Quatre did notice something. The front door slammed shut, sending it's loud crash reverberating through the house. But that wasn't the noise he was so surprised at hearing.
He could hear Catrina's laughter.
Looking out the entrance of the kitchen saw a most peculiar sight. After so many months of having her not talking and being so withdrawn from everyone, this sight was just that much stranger.
Heero was with Catrina, and the two of them were walking up the hall. Actually, only one of them was walking. Heero was giving Catrina the classic piggyback ride. She had her arms about his neck, her head thrown back in laughter. She was also wearing his black jacket. This wouldn't have been so surprising had both of them not been soaking wet. It almost appeared as if they had both been outside rolling around in the grass…
Quatre stopped thinking. He had some of those scary mental pictures flashing before his eyes. Somehow, he managed to keep quiet as the two of them walked past him, and a door slammed shut up the hall. It took Quatre but a moment to realize it was only one door. One door. Millions of mental pictures.
His screams could have woken everyone in the house…if there had been anyone paying attention.
************************************************************************
So, how did you like it? Not too bad I hope! ^^;; I can't believe that I finally finished this chapter! Only one more to go now. -_- *sniff* You wouldn't believe how much fun I've had with this!! ^^ If anyone has any comments, please please PLEASE e-mail them to me!! catrina_winner@sailormoon.com. Kudos for everyone how have sent me comments!! ^^ I love you all so much! (That's a…total of…two people!!) I'd put your names up here…but I don't know if they would like it… So, you can only wonder!! ^^;;; (Would you just look at what finals have done to my mind? Mush I tell you! MUSH!!!)
Moonlit Past
Chapter 4
The night surrounded Catrina and Shadow, pressing the forest closer to them. Over four months had passed and Shadow was now a full-grown Labrador. She trotted next to Catrina, panting softly. Catrina seemed overly distracted, even more so then usual. With a soft whine, Shadow slipped ahead of her a few feet, before falling back to her side.
"What?" Catrina looked down at the dog. She finally began to notice her surroundings, and realized how dark it had become. "Oh no…not again. C'mon, Shadow, we had better run home. Quatre is going to be so mad at me for missing dinner again…" Both bolted towards the house, running gracefully like a pair of deer, one tall and one small. They reached the house in little over half of an hour, and the air around them now pitch black. Catrina pushed open the door and ran inside, carefully closing it as quietly as she could after Shadow was in. Grabbing the dogs collar so she would make no noise, the two of them began to creep towards the stairs. If they could only make it upstairs…
"Catrina, where have you been? You are driving me nuts staying out late like this!"
*Nod.*
"Um… Hi Quatre, Trowa. I was just taking a walk around the property… That's all. I never went beyond the fence!"
"…Catrina, my property here is about a twenty miles in any direction. You know I did that for privacy. How can you say that you only went on a walk around the property?! That's almost a hundred miles! First, you started to live in the library, then, you decided that you would rather hang out with the animals around here for hours on end rather then see your own brother that hasn't known you until recently, and now, you just leave and wander around until late at night when you try and sneak into the house! Do you know how much I worry about you? If you would at least tell me that you were leaving and wouldn't return for an entire day then I could understand. But just disappearing is insane! I can't take it anymore! And it's not only me, but it's Heero too! He went out to look for you and found absolutely no traces of you! When he got back here, he was actually worried about you. He wanted to keep looking for you, but I told him that it wasn't worth it because you wouldn't come home until you wanted too. Why have you been doing this? Is something bothering you? And if it is, why haven't you come to me, yet? I want you to stop leaving at absurd hours of the night or morning or whatever and join the human race!" Quatre blinked, seeming surprised at himself.
Catrina swallowed and stared at her older brother.
"Quatre…I don't care what you think! I like being by myself! Before I was always alone! And then, just because I discover that I have a huge family that is richer then anything I can imagine, you expect me to change my ways! All I want to do is be alone and I don't think that I need to tell you everything that I do all the time! I am not a little kid! I lived on my own for most of my life and will continue to do so! And nothing you can say can stop me!" Anger flashing through her eyes, she turned and stomped up the stairs. Quatre heard the door slam, and then everything was silent. He turned to Trowa.
"Have you ever seen her like that before Trowa?"
"No."
"Why in the world was she acting like that? Is there some reason she is mad at me? Was I too harsh on her? I knew that I shouldn't have taken Duo's advice to just tell her what I was thinking."
"No…it was fine, Quatre. She isn't mad at you, rather someone else. I think that she has more on her mind then she prefers. Maybe you should go in and talk to her, quietly and try to figure out why she is in such a mood. However, from the way she responded to your questions, I can guess that she is under a lot of stress and will probably not take whatever you say very well."
"Um…will this be anything like the time that she fractured her leg and had to stay in bed for weeks and everyone made me take care of because I was her brother and 'the only one that could control her'?"
Trowa took a moment to think. "It will probably end up worse then that little incident. Catrina needs someone to vent on, and, well, whoever talks to her about her state of mind will put themselves in the position for Catrina to vent on."
"Worse?"
"Worse."
"Oh no…I can't deal with that! Catrina… Who else would talk to her? Who would let her vent on them?"
Trowa sighed and put his hand on Quatre's shoulder. "Maybe we should give her some time to herself and not bother her for a month or two. When she feels like it, she'll talk to you. Otherwise, I have another plan if she still continues to disappear, but it will take a month or two before I can actually do anything. Does that make you feel better?"
"Well…I guess so. I still wish that there was something that I could do to find out why she is so unhappy."
"Everything will turn out okay, Quatre, I'm sure it will."
*********
A month later, the late afternoon light filtered through the window, finding Quatre, Trowa, and Heero reclined in the library. Catrina had "gone out" again last night around nine and hadn't returned yet.
"Do you think that there could be anything more to worry about?" Quatre asked the two others across from him. Duo had called in around two A.M. from the hospital with news that Hilde had just gone into labor. That was when they discovered that Catrina had gone, taking her horse and the dog. Quatre was worried about her, but, then again, she had always come home before. And they were all very impatient about Hilde and her children.
Suddenly the vidphone began to ring. Quatre lunged for it and swiftly answered it.
"Hello?"
Duo's happy, extremely tired face appeared on the screen. He waved a bandaged hand at the assembled group.
"You wouldn't believe what I've been through."
"Nice to see you too, Duo," Heero mumbled.
"Duo! How's Hilde and the kids?" Quatre was almost bursting with excitement and worry.
"Hilde is fine. The doctor said she only has to stay in the hospital for another two days before she can leave. And the kids…well…they are…um…noisy, I guess. I haven't been able to talk with my wife for more then a moment without one of them starting to cry or 'talk'. You should hear Hilde. 'Oh look Duo, he's trying to say something!' 'He's talking to you, Duo!' Man, I have never seen her so happy before," he smiled.
"Hey, Duo, what happened to you hand?" Quatre asked, noticing the bandaged fingers for the first time.
"Oh, that? Well…Hilde broke four of my fingers and fractured my wrist," he winced at the memory. "The doctor said that they would be healed in a month of two."
"Hilde…broke your fingers?!" Quatre asked in amazement.
"And fractured my wrist. As I see it, I guess I kinda deserved it. Though I think that the name calling was a bit much. Oh well. It's all over now! Thank goodness for that. Oh, by the way, is Catrina around? Hilde asked me to see if she could spend a moment and talk to her."
"Um…actually, we haven't seen her since yesterday. You see, she has been under a lot of stress lately, and is apparently coping with it by disappearing for several days on end," Quatre explained.
"What are you talking about, Quatre? I don't think there is anything in the world that could cause Catrina enough stress that she would have to disappear!"
"Well…" his gaze flickered over to Heero's stony features for a moment, "apparently there is."
"I think that I understand. If you need any help with her, let me know and I'll…um…do…something."
"Thanks, Duo. Would you tell Sally that I sent her the documentation that she asked for earlier this week?"
"Yeah. So, how…" Duo was cut off when a rather loud wailing noise erupted from behind him. "Oh man, not again. Look, guys, I have to go. If you would talk to Catrina the next time you see her, Hilde would be thankful. Um…see ya later!"
"Bye Duo! Good luck being a new dad!" Quatre said as the vidphone flickered off. He yawned and looked over at the clock.
"It's already seven o'clock! And we haven't even eaten dinner yet! Oh dear…" Quatre jumped up and proceeded to herd everyone into the dining room. Heero lingered, staring at the vid-phone, which held his long-time friend's face only a moment ago. Then his gaze tripped up to the window where he could see the sun setting behind the coastline. The ocean was bright, orange and red coloring the water. The sky itself appeared to be going up in flames. It almost appeared as if there was a huge battle occurring far off in the distance, and the explosions were staining the pure clouds. For a single moment, Heero's mind was filled with the screams of the dying. He couldn't hold back a violent shudder.
Why must I think of these things? Why can't I just forget about the war and the killing?
He sighed, softly, because he did not want Trowa or Quatre to hear him. Even with the war over, he realized that he could never become like "normal" people. He might be able to get close, learn to smile and laugh over time, but he could never be what the others were. The training he was forced to endure as a young boy had broken his sprit. He felt as if he was still waiting for orders to move out and kill again. Just waiting…
*********
The three of them were gathered around the table. Trowa and Quatre talked quietly about Duo's new children. Heero stared down at his food, pushing it around, his mind in other places.
"Heero? Have you heard a word I've said in the past ten minutes?" Quatre asked.
"Hn."
"Heero, is something wrong? You seem upset."
Heero raised an eyebrow. The look on his face asked what was wrong with Quatre and of course there was something wrong with him, couldn't he tell? But all he said was, "Hn."
Quatre sighed. "You've been unhappy for quite a while, Heero. I am beginning to worry about you. As if it wasn't enough that Hilde just had two twin baby boys, whom we don't even know the names of yet, and Catrina is having a hard time coexisting with people, but now you have to go and become upset over something, too. Please Heero, if something is wrong, would you just tell us and get it over with?"
Trowa glanced over at the two of them and nodded. "Quatre is right, Heero. You need to let us know what is bothering you so we can help you out with whatever you ne-"
Heero slammed his fist on the table. "There is nothing that is "bothering" me, Trowa." He pushed his chair away from the table in a violent shove and stomped from the room, a deadly glare etched upon his features.
"Heero?" Quatre looked stunned.
"I know what's wrong with him," Trowa said. Quatre looked surprised.
"What?"
"Heero is unhappy with your sister's recent behavior because I believe that he has grown very fond of her in these past few months. He wishes to know what is wrong with her so he can comfort her and therefore become closer to her and enter her ring of trust, which, though he doesn't realize it yet, he is all ready in."
"Wow, Trowa! You should have been a psychologist!" Trowa blinked and said nothing. The two of them retreated to their separate rooms as the night continued to age. Heero, however, did not join them in their retirement. He stood outside on the balcony, quietly staring off into the thick night. Trailers of fog twisted their way through the towering trees. A soft mist filtered down around him, sticking to his eyelashes. Heero noticed none of these things, however. He was too caught up within his own thoughts and musings. The recent dawns had taken on the appearance of bloodstained skies. Little did he know that Catrina had noticed the same change in the surrounding atmospheres, and it had triggered something inside of her that she had been working to forget for years. Once the dark had sheltered him from his sins, but tonight in only crowded his mind and made it even harder to sort through his jumbled thoughts.
*********
Catrina wandered through the forest, searching for something she knew she would never find. Her body cried out for sleep, and she wanted nothing more then to lie down and rest, but if she risked that…it might come back. It could continue to haunt her. Destroy her.
In her mind she cursed the sunrise. It was the cause of all her pain. In the end, it always was. The beginning of a new day always reminded her of how her mother hadn't had the chance to see it. But the blood in the sky. It was horrible. It made her think about the day she had been in the flowers when the sky was darkened forever. The sky had been bloody that day too.
Tears ran down her face. She wiped at them, not realizing it as she did. The pressing darkness had fallen around her a short time ago and now consumed the trees around her, cutting her sight down to a mere five feet. It bothered her little, though. Being blinded be fog and dark wasn't something she wanted to concern herself with. Not today.
Where could she go? There was no place to go… She was stuck here, not able to leave this place. She had too many things to think of, too many things to finish. She sat down on the grass, feeling its moistness soak through her jeans. She ignored the discomfort and lay down. Though she hadn't slept for almost a week, she still wouldn't allow herself to drift off. If she did, the dream would return. It would return. Her mother and the blood. All the blood.
She groaned and flopped a hand over her eyes. She could feel the wetness making her hair stick together. I don't want to think anymore. I want to sleep. No! I can't sleep… The dream will come back! But I'm so tired. I want to sleep. I need to sleep. No…I don't need to sleep. There is no way. I…I…
The ache of fatigue soon took over her body, and she closed her eyes.
*********
Heero squinted into the dark. It was almost pitch black. He could hear Quatre in the background of the house, calling for Catrina, in hopes that she had returned. There was no answer to his strained calls.
Heero sat, thinking. He had to admit that he, too, was curious as to where Catrina had gone off too. There were simply too many places that she could be, where she could hide. And, yet, Heero felt that he owed it to Quatre and, even to Catrina, perhaps, to find where she hid. It was important to Quatre. He needed his sister.
Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Heero thought that he might need her too.
*********
Heero walked out the door, closing it silently behind him. He wished he knew where to begin his search. The only thing he was surrounded with was trees. Lots of trees. Thousands of places for someone like Catrina to hide.
This could be harder then he thought. Even as he wondered where to go, his feet, almost from there own volition, began to walk into the woods. Heero moved in a straight line. Inside, he felt as if he knew where he was going, and where Catrina rested. In his mind, Heero began to wonder if he was going insane. There was no way that anyone could know where Catrina was, unless she had told someone, which she hadn't, or left some obvious trail at the opening of the woods, which she also hadn't done. Why, then, was he so determined to continue the way he was going?
*********
Shadows patterned the entire area in their delicate webs. Buildings and mobile suits loomed in the distance, casting a dark and foreboding feeling throughout the surrounding valley. A young girl, with her chestnut hair bound up in a ponytail, was bent over; picking the brightly colored wildflowers that grew there. Wind shook their stems lightly, and blew the tiny child's hair about. Puffy white clouds drifted lazily through the sky. The day was alive with the songs of birds.
In her young, child-like mind, the wondered if her mother would like the pretty flowers that she picked for her. She reached down, intent on picking a beautiful gold and purple flower free from the ground to complete her mother's bouquet, when, abruptly, the soft quiet of the day was shattered, and the normality of her life was altered forever.
Behind her, the powerful military base, her home, exploded. The ground shook and tossed the child off her feet. Screams of the dying suddenly covered the land like a heavy cloud. The bird songs cut off abruptly and the white clouds turned a deep maroon color, looking like the sky itself was bleeding. Debris rained down throughout the valley and all around the little girl. Burning wood and smoldering metal landed next to the poor, confused child. In moments, the only signs of the beautiful valley that had once resided there, snuggled between the mountains, was clutched in the tiny girl's hand. The flowers she held seemed to wilt before the heat and devastation that they faced.
Standing, the little girl stared at the blackened shell that had once been her only home. Her mother had been in the base when it exploded. But…why would anyone want to hurt her mother? No one would want to hurt her! Not on purpose… The little cherub's eyes clouded with tears as the shining flowers dropped from her fist. She began to run back towards her home, where the painful screams of the dying could still be heard with a clarity that she would remember all her life. She was crying out her own mother's name as she tried to get her short, stubby legs to carry her back to where she was needed.
When she finally reached her home, the last of the enemy's mobile suits were disappearing into the distance. However, her mother was no where to be found. She wasn't near the dark husk of their house, and she wasn't outside in the singed garden she kept.
Sirens shrilled to deaf ears, and dead bodies littered the streets. Few were moving. Those who were seemed in such pain that the little girl somehow wished that they weren't moving at all. She ran up and down the compound rows, searching futilely for her mother. Finally, she located her between two wounded soldiers, who were trying to help her stand. In horror, she could only stare at her once beautiful mother. Half her face was covered in blood, and her left side mangled beyond recognition.
"Mother!" The girl ran towards the half-dead woman, who slowly opened one of her eyes. The soldiers hadn't been able to raise her more then a foot off the ground without her crying out in pain, so they carefully leaned her on a slab of rock. The woman reached her hand out for her little one.
"You…you're okay?" She asked in slow, halting words.
The girl, with tears pouring out of her huge, emerald eyes, she nodded. "I was picking flowers. For you." Realizing she had dropped all her flowers, but a single one, she held it out for her mother. It was a tiger lily.
Her mother smiled, and, although it obviously pained her, reached up for the flower and her daughter. She pulled the girl close to her, and took the flower.
"Thank you…it…it's beautiful. Now…I have…" she winced suddenly, "something…for you. Please take…it and…"
"Mother?" The little girl's eyes widened.
"It's okay, sweetie. I'll be fine. But…I want you to take this…here…hold out your arm…" The girl did as she was told.
The bloody, dying woman lifted her own arm and unclasped a bracelet that rested there. It was interlocking silver with but a single charm. The charm was a tear-shaped emerald that caught the rapidly fading light.
"But…mama, that's your favorite bracelet!" The girl protested as her mother snapped it onto the tiny wrist.
"No…now…now it's yours. My only daughter," she stopped for a moment, as if remembering. "You…are a very…im…important child. You will never kn…know how many people out there love you. I want you to…to call…"
She stopped.
"Mama?"
"Catrina…don't…ever…forget how special…you…are…" At that her mother closed her eyes, and never opened them again. Catrina threw herself on her mother's body, crying.
"Mama? Mom, wake up!! Be okay!! You're okay!! MOMMY!!!" Catrina began to cry harder then any river could run.
Something was shaking her. Something she couldn't see. "What? Who?" She opened her own eyes to see a pair of concerned and unhappy Prussian blues. Tears began to flow unchecked down her cheeks.
Heero, for his part, was surprised he had even found her. She had been lying on the ground so quietly he would have stepped on her, had she not cried out so suddenly. She had been twisting in the grass, crying in her sleep. All he could think of was to awaken her. And now she was crying. He was more confused then he ever had been before.
"Catrina…?"
She looked up at him with wet eyes shining with freshly shed tears. She managed to tell him, in slow, halting words, of her dream. Heero listened silently, without betraying any emotions on his face.
"I've been having…this…this nightmare since I was a little kid. But…once I met you…and…Quatre…and the others…I stopped having it. But…it's come back now. And…it's worse then ever. I don't know why, but…I can't…I can't…" Fresh tears began to fall and she pulled her legs up to her chin.
Heero had no idea what to do. He wasn't used to dealing with distraught women. It just wasn't something he did.
Catrina felt isolated from the world as she sat in the dark, shadows cloaking her body, hugging herself, crying. Her tears seemed echo through the woods. With some kind of baser instinct, Heero leaned over and hugged the shivering female's body to his own.
"Catrina…"
Catrina looked up at Heero. His eyes shone with an acute sadness, something which he didn't usually allow others to see. He leaned towards her, all his questions held in his eyes.
"Heero?"
He didn't speak, but, instead, pressed his lips to hers. She understood, finally. He pulled away from her to peer into her glistening eyes, still wet with tears. She nodded and hugged him to her. For the first time since he was a little boy, Heero could feel himself finally become content. He had all he ever wanted in his arms.
Heero looked so happy. He had a glow about him that made him appear almost as a young boy again, trying to find his way in the world. Catrina smiled and leaned into another kiss.
*********
It was early. Too early. Pre-dawn found Quatre sitting unhappily at the table in the dining room, drinking his tea. He wasn't able to sleep, no matter how hard he had tried. He was too worried about his little sister.
He glanced over at the clock and sighed. Five AM in the morning. What was wrong with him? Catrina would be fine by herself, wouldn't she? He stared into his tea, brooding. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice as the time moved slowly by. He didn't notice his tea getting colder and colder. He didn't notice the clock turn to five thirty.
However, when the clock turned its digital numbers to five thirty-three, Quatre did notice something. The front door slammed shut, sending it's loud crash reverberating through the house. But that wasn't the noise he was so surprised at hearing.
He could hear Catrina's laughter.
Looking out the entrance of the kitchen saw a most peculiar sight. After so many months of having her not talking and being so withdrawn from everyone, this sight was just that much stranger.
Heero was with Catrina, and the two of them were walking up the hall. Actually, only one of them was walking. Heero was giving Catrina the classic piggyback ride. She had her arms about his neck, her head thrown back in laughter. She was also wearing his black jacket. This wouldn't have been so surprising had both of them not been soaking wet. It almost appeared as if they had both been outside rolling around in the grass…
Quatre stopped thinking. He had some of those scary mental pictures flashing before his eyes. Somehow, he managed to keep quiet as the two of them walked past him, and a door slammed shut up the hall. It took Quatre but a moment to realize it was only one door. One door. Millions of mental pictures.
His screams could have woken everyone in the house…if there had been anyone paying attention.
************************************************************************
So, how did you like it? Not too bad I hope! ^^;; I can't believe that I finally finished this chapter! Only one more to go now. -_- *sniff* You wouldn't believe how much fun I've had with this!! ^^ If anyone has any comments, please please PLEASE e-mail them to me!! catrina_winner@sailormoon.com. Kudos for everyone how have sent me comments!! ^^ I love you all so much! (That's a…total of…two people!!) I'd put your names up here…but I don't know if they would like it… So, you can only wonder!! ^^;;; (Would you just look at what finals have done to my mind? Mush I tell you! MUSH!!!)