Thank you again to teamedwardforever1998 for helping me with this story!
A/N Happy almost Friday! I wanted to get this chapter up now because I'm about to head out for a double dose of Deathly Hallows. A friend is treating me to the movies tonight... who am I to say no?
Anyway, thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, alerting, and favoriting the story! Your support is amazing! Here's the chapter! Please let us know what you think by leaving a quick review!
Close to Home
Chapter 4 - Broken
September 1, 2010
BPOV
I woke up this morning feeling like I had the hangover from hell and I didn't even drink last night. My eyes burned, my throat was sore, I had a horrific headache, and I was absolutely exhausted. At first, I thought it was all just a very bad dream; Mike would never cheat on me. We had been through so much together in the last six and a half years. When I felt the warm body lying in the bed behind me, it only served to reaffirm my suspicions that it was all a terrible nightmare; at least until I felt the scratchy sheets brushing against my bare legs. This wasn't my bed. How did I know? Easy. These weren't the 800 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets that Mike had insisted on since signing with the SeaHawks. It's amazing what your body gets used to after two years.
That's about the time reality came crashing down on me. The image of Mike and Jess in our bed going at it like rabbits filled my mind again. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn that exact picture was permanently burned into my retinas. I closed my eyes to try to rid myself of the image, but it didn't help. An involuntary sob ripped its way out of my chest and I felt Edward stir behind me before he spoke.
"Hey you," he began.
"Hey." It was all I was able to get out right then without breaking into sobs again, and lord knows I definitely sobbed enough last night to last a lifetime.
Edward always seemed to know just what I needed at any given moment and I loved it. I knew he must have been dying to have me explain my emotional breakdown in the hallway yesterday afternoon. I knew he needed an explanation but he would never push me to give it. With Edward, he gave me the time I needed to gather my thoughts, to make sense of things in my own head, to come to my own understanding before I spoke them aloud. Time was what I needed this morning; that and food, I realized as my stomach growled loudly, making Edward shake with laughter. "Some things never change, do they?" he asked in a flippant tone as he climbed out of bed.
I sat up and looked down at myself. I was in one of Edward's old UW tees and a pair of maroon cotton boxers. I vaguely recalled changing out of my jeans last night just before going to sleep, but the memory was hazy to say the least. "Thanks for the jammies," I croak out. Anyone listening would definitely be able to tell I cried myself to sleep last night. Speaking of; "Thank you for last night," I add, knowing that he'll understand that I'm thanking him for everything.
Edward sighed heavily before kneeling down in front of me and taking my hands in his. "Bee, we have been best friends for twenty years," he said looking into my eyes. I couldn't help but smile when he used the nickname he'd had for me since we were four. "You have nothing to thank me for, okay? Besides, I know you would have done the same thing for me if the roles were reversed." He paused for a moment and smiled. "Now, let's go to the kitchen, make some coffee and something for breakfast, and then you can tell me what the hell happened yesterday, okay honey?"
"Mmm, coffee and breakfast," I smiled at the thought of taming the grumbly lion in my stomach. I hadn't eaten since yesterday's lunch and he was definitely making himself known again.
We walked into the kitchen/dining room and I sat down at the small table Edward had crammed in the small space; it was barely big enough to sit two people but it worked. Edward went to work starting the coffee and then pulled some eggs and a small pack of bacon out of the fridge. Edward couldn't cook at all, but one thing he was able to make was a decent breakfast, as long as it was simple anyway. I watched as he started the bacon frying and then beat some eggs in a bowl before putting them in a frying pan beside the bacon.
As the coffee finished percolating, I got up from the table and moved to help him. I pulled out two clean mugs and set them on the counter; I had been here several times over the last few years, so I knew where everything was. Edward had only bunked in the dorms during Freshman year before swearing off roommates forever. I never got all the details, but apparently Collin was a total slob who never lifted a finger.
Once everything was ready, he dished up the food and carried it to the table while I followed with the coffee. Edward drank his coffee black, but I always took mine with a touch of sugar and some french vanilla creamer. I couldn't stand the taste of it otherwise; it was way too strong and bitter. I smiled as Edward walked back to the fridge and pulled out a small bottle of French Vanilla Coffee-Mate creamer. He always kept it stocked for when I dropped by.
We sat down to eat and for the first time in the twenty years that I've known him, there was a very awkward silence in the air. Still, neither of us spoke as we ate our meals. Finally, Edward pushed his plate away and patted his stomach before looking at me expectantly. "All right, Doll Face," he started after taking a deep breath. "Spill it. What the hell happened yesterday?" He positioned his chair closer to mine, turned us both so that we were facing each other, and then grabbed and held my hands to show his support.
So here I sit, getting ready to tell Edward what a disaster my life has turned in to, in such a short time. I look up in to his emerald green eyes and see nothing but love and kindness shining back at me. I know he will never judge me, nor will he blame me for anything that has happened. He is exactly what I need in this moment and I am so thankful that I have him for a friend. Still, my eyes sink to the table as I wonder about where to begin.
I realize I should just start at the beginning so that's exactly what I do. "Well, let's start with what you know. I went shopping with Ang and Jess for dresses yesterday after we all had lunch together. Oh god Eddie, it was awful! I must have tried on fifty different dresses and couldn't find anything that I really even liked. Ang was great the whole time; she would give me constructive comments about each dress and what she thought about it. Jess, on the other hand, was miles away. She seemed like shopping with us was the last thing she wanted to be doing and spent more time texting on her phone than anything else. She didn't think I noticed, but I did.
"Anyway, after about three hours, she got a call and excused herself just before I went to try on another dress. When I come back out, Ang tells me that Jess had to run to meet a friend and would text us when she was done to find out where we were. I was beginning to think that I'd never find a dress, but the next one I tried on was perfect.
"Oh Eddie! You should have seen it," I tell him before realizing why he wouldn't see it. I feel my eyes well up with tears and I take a deep breath. Keep it together Swan! I yell at myself. I know if I start crying now I'm never going to make it through this.
I feel him gently squeeze my hands before he removes one of his and brings it up to my chin. He gently lifts my head up so that our eyes meet. His are full of understanding and sorrow. I know he's hurting as much as I am right now and he doesn't even know why. "It's okay, Bee. I'm here for you and I always will be. Take your time, but you have to know you can tell me anything by now. There haven't been any secrets between us for almost twenty years." He smiles sweetly at me before dropping his hand back to mine and squeezing it again, silently letting me know it was okay to go on.
"The dress was perfect in every way and I didn't even need to have it altered. Anyway, I knew it was the dress without even having to look in the mirror and Ang confirmed it as I walked out of the dressing room. We had the sales lady bag up the dress while Ang helped me pick out a nice pair of shoes and a veil to go with the gown.
"It had only been about half an hour since Jess left us, so we decided to hang out at my place while we waited for her to text us. We hopped in a cab and before you knew it, we were walking into the apartment. I was so excited about the dress that I really wasn't paying attention to anything else. I had planned to lay it out on the bed to take a picture of it like I promised you I would, and then hide it in the back of the closet.
"I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear them until after I had already opened the bedroom door. Oh my god, Eddie, it was so awful!" I tell him. I can't hold the tears back any longer, and they're now steaming down my face. I'm broken completely and he can see this just by looking at me.
I watch as his face turns red and I assume he's putting together images in his head of what I must have walked in on. Still, I can see he's fighting with himself. He knows he needs to stay here to hear the rest of the story, but I can see he also want to go track Mike down. It seems his need to hear the absolute truth wins over his rage and he looks directly into my eyes. "Bella," he speaks through gritted teeth, "what did you see? What happened in that bedroom?" He was definitely angry and getting worse by the second.
Oh shit, this is so not good, I think to myself. I need to tell him the truth, but I also need to get him to calm down. It's not going to do anyone any good if he goes to find Mike. I steel myself by taking a deep breath, but the tears just won't stop flowing. I haven't cried this much in my entire life, but I just can't help it.
I know I need to just get it over with. Everyone always says the easiest way to remove a bandaid is to just rip it off, the quicker the better, so I rush through my explanation. "It was Mike," I say through my sniffles. "He was in our bed but he wasn't alone."
I am about to go on, but I feel Edward tense up through our joined hands. "That !" he shouts suddenly, his words all streaming together. "I'll kill him for this." It's the most I've heard him swear in the twenty years I've know him and it sort of scares me. He's definitely pissed and I haven't even told him the worst part.
"Eddie, I'm not done," I say between sobs.
He looks at me and his face softens. I can tell he's fighting the urge to go rip Mike to shreds. He feels he needs to be here with me right now instead. I can't say I don't feel torn as well because I do. A part of me wants nothing more than to let him go tear Mike a new one (god knows he deserves it), but I also know I can't get through this without my best friend by my side.
"I'm sorry, Bee; I didn't mean to interrupt you. Please, finish your story. I promise I'll listen without interrupting, okay?" he asks, bringing my hands up to place a kiss on them.
"He was fucking Jessica Stanley," I spit out with distaste. "In our bed. He was fucking her in our own bed." God, now I'm the one getting pissed off. I admit that Jess and I were never best friends or even really close friends for that matter, but we were still friends. Growing up in a town with less than four thousand people makes it hard not to be. Would you sleep with someone who was engaged to be married to one of your friends? I sure as hell wouldn't. Stupid skank!
Edward looked completely shocked by the news, too. "Wait, what?" He paused for a moment as he stared at me, trying to put it together. "He was in bed with Jess? Why would he do that to you? Why would she? Was this the first time they were together? I can't believe they pulled the wool over our eyes."
He's firing questions at me so fast that I don't have time to answer them. I don't think they're really meant for me anyway. I think he's trying to piece together in his head exactly what happened. He brings up some excellent points though. Was that the first time that Mike slept with Jess? Was there ever anyone else? How long had it been going on? Fuck. I'm going to need to go get tested now. Even if they did use a condom, there's no telling where that nasty dick has been.
I understand now why Edward is so quiet, because while my brain is in overdrive I can't come up with anything to say either. We sit silently together for what seems like hours, both lost in our own thoughts. I don't ask him what he's thinking and he doesn't ask me what I'm thinking. I know he will though; he'll need to hear the rest of the story before he does anything.
Finally, after about twenty minutes of silence, he looks at me again with sadness written all over his face. The sadness was mixed with his anger too though. "Bee, please tell me you did something when you saw them together. I need to hear that you at least kicked Mike in the balls and slapped that bitch across the face." Yep, definitely anger mixed in with the sadness.
I don't know what to say exactly because I didn't bitch slap Jess like I should have and I definitely didn't kick Mike in the nuts. Hell, that would have been getting off easy after what he'd done. How do I tell Edward that I puked all over the floor and then walked away? I'm afraid he'll be disappointed in me.
"I should have. I know I should have, but I couldn't. When I walked in and saw her riding him the way she was, I froze. I couldn't move, I couldn't blink, hell, I couldn't even speak. It was like shock immediately took over my body. The next thing I knew, I had dropped my dress, bent over at the waist, and hurled all over the floor. I think it was the sound of my retching that finally got his attention."
I'm crying continually now as I relive everything that happened, but I know Edward is here for me; he's been here for me for the last twenty years. I take a ragged breath and continue. "When he looked at me, he froze his movements and just stared. He was like a kid getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I was sure he was trying to come up with an explanation, but I didn't want to hear it. I couldn't listen to what-the-hell-ever-excuse he came up with, yet I still couldn't move. It wasn't until Jess turned around to look at me that I was able to move. The look on her face was one of complete bliss, and when I saw that, I just couldn't stand there another second.
"I choke out that it's over before I run out the door. I'm not sure, but I think it may have cracked the wall with how hard I slammed it closed behind me. I ran straight to the elevator, leaving Ang in the living room looking completely confused. I didn't even pause though. Eddie, I had to get out of the building because I knew I was going to break down. I was surprised I hadn't done so already.
"As I waited for the elevator, I heard the door open behind me and I knew Mike had joined me without even looking. Can you believe he tried to explain his actions to me? As if walking in on him fucking Stanley wasn't explanation enough?"
My tears have stopped and anger is taking over completely. I am absolutely livid that he did this to me. I waisted seven and a half years of my life on that asshole. I know, we only dated for six and a half, but I pined for him for a year before that, remember?
I look back at Edward and start shaking my head. It's hard for me to believe that Mike wanted me to calm down so we could talk. What did he expect? That I'd forgive him just because he admitted that he made a mistake? I don't fucking think so. Anyway, I tell Edward the rest of the story.
"When he walked up behind me, he tried to put his filthy hands around my waist, like nothing had happened. I almost snapped right then. I screamed at him and called him names. I told him I had loved him and asked him why he fucked Jess, but I didn't give him the chance to answer. I told him he had already lost me. He tried to call me baby and tell me he made a mistake, but I wouldn't listen to him. As I stepped onto the elevator, I told him it was too late. When the doors slid shut, I lost it and well, you know the rest."
Before I even know what's happening, Edward is standing and pulling me up with him. He pulls me into a tight hug and I breathe a sigh of relief. Being in his arms, so close to him, is home to me. It's comfortable and I feel better almost instantly. I return his embrace and speak into his chest. "What the hell am I going to do now, Eddie? Without Mike, I have nothing; I am nothing."
He tightens his hug on me before he speaks. "Bee, it'll be okay, I promise. No matter what happens, we'll deal with it together, like we always have."
I pull back to look at him but don't break the hug completely. "But where will I live? I can't go back to that apartment."
"I know, honey," he tells me. "I'll call Emmy and we'll go pick up your clothes and whatever else you need. You can stay here for as long as you want. I know the place is small, but you're always welcome here, okay?"
Out of nowhere, a huge yawn overtakes me before I can answer him. I don't know I'm tired until now, but as I think about it, I realize I'm exhausted. "Thank you," I tell him as I lean back in to him, yawning again. "For everything."
A/N Next up is EPOV. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Let us know your thoughts! Thanks again!