Never Ending Love and Misery
Ch 4. What Did I Just Do
Eli's P.O.V.
I'm on my way to pick up Clare for the party. I don't know why I feel so anxious, it's not like I haven't seen her out of school before. Hell, I snuck over to her house and spent the night with her last night. It's because you're falling deeper and deeper in love with this girl stupid. The annoying voice in my head replied to the unsaid thought.
That little voice is really beginning to get on my nerves. I think as I almost miss Clare's turn. After I park my car, I turn it off and head up the steps to her door. Before I have a chance to knock, Clare already has the door open. "I heard the music in you're car playing a mile ago." she smirked, answering the question my expression asked.
"Well then are you ready to go?" I ask gesturing to my hearse. She nods slightly and makes her way to my car. I can't help but notice that she's wearing a black skirt that barely makes way a fourth down her thigh and two form-fitting tank tops, bottom one black and the top one slightly lacy and white. Of course under the skirt were white leggings and she had on a black cardigan, but still not here usually attire.
The blaring music startles her as I start up the, I give a light laugh and turn it down. "Love the short skirt by the way." I state as we're driving down the road.
I look over and see her head down trying to hide the fact that she's blushing. "It's just a shame you had what it didn't cover, covered up by leggings." I joked, returning my eyes to the road.
Clare smacked me playfully on the arm and laughed. "Can I change the song? This one is really starting to irritate me."
Don't even act like you have to think about it, you know you're not going to deny her. Especially if something is making her uncomfortable even in the slightest. The voice stated, apparently it wasn't going to allow Clare to suffer. "Sure, go ahead." I answered, shrugging my shoulders.
Clare reaching for the knob on my radio and switched the station. Some pop song I wanted nothing to do with was playing. "That's for making fun of my leggings." she laughed then stuck her tongue out at me.
Sometimes this girl makes me go so damn crazy I feel like I should be in a psyche ward. And you already have the voice in you're head, so you're part way there. the voce mocked.
Finally we arrive at Adam's house. Clare has her head down and an expression that says she's thinking about something, but isn't telling me. "What going on in that brain of your's Edwards?"
She looks up quickly and smiles. "Oh nothing. I was just zoning out." she laughs. I drape my arm over her shoulders as we walk up the steps to Adam's house, and she intertwines her finger's with mine.
When Adam opens the door he has that stupid grin on his face. Clare let go of my hand and unwound from my hold, only to embrace my friend in a hug. She smugly looked back at me in a way that I couldn't help but find adorable. "Trying to make a move on my girl Adam?" I joke while wrapping my arms around Clare's waist.
"Hey not my fault man. The girl came to me." Adam laughed gesturing us to come in.
"Yeah it's not his fault you can't get the job done. " Clare said, making my jaw drop.
"Edwards! That's pretty naughty for you." I say looking at her in disbelief. Her only response was a simple shrug of her delicate shoulders.
"Oh Clare, I have a surprise for you in the kitchen by the sink." Adam says giving her a slight push in the direction of her destination. Clare walked off into the kitchen as Adam walked off to Fiona.
I hear an excited squeal coming from Clare in the kitchen. "Should I be worried? I ask walking in there to see what she was so jazzed up about. I see her practically jumping up and with her friend Alli in her arms with a tight hug.
"I haven't seen you in such a long time! What are you doing here?" Clare announced after finally letting her go.
"Well Adam called me up and asked if I wanted to come. At first I told him no, but the he told me Drew was completely over me and that you were coming so then I had to. I couldn't miss the chance to see my best friend. I tell you girls at my new school are stuck up little snobs." Ali seemed just as excited as Clare.
Clare and Ali talked for what seemed like ages of useless gossip, but I wasn't going to ruin the reunion between my girlfriend and her friend. I wanted to walk off and go find Adam, but for some reason I had this strong feeling telling me that I shouldn't leave Clare's side. Like something bad was going to happen if I left her. That's because you're becoming a tad bit over protective of her. The always infuriating voice told me.
Only because this is a party. And not that I don't trust Adam when he said they wouldn't be providing drugs or alcohol, I just don't trust most of the people at this party. Hell I don't even know most of the people at the party. And in all honesty I don't Adam does either. I argue back. You're getting crazier. the voice nags.
"Eli?" Clare says, interrupting my thoughts. When I meet her eyes, she an adorable smile on her face. "Where'd you go?" she asked, apparently noticing my spacing out.
"Nowhere, just thinking." I reply, wrapping both my arms around her waist from behind and lightly kiss the side of her neck.
"Okay, I'm just gonna go find someone else to gossip with before the two of you begin to tear each other's clothes off." Ali says before heading off to find Jenna.
"I can't believe Ali's here, I miss her so much sometimes." Clare says, turning around and placing her arms around my neck. I lean down and give her a gentle kiss on her lips, my hands now placed on the sides of her hips.
When we pull back she's has the same expression on her face that she had when we got out of the car. "Clare are you okay?" I ask slightly concerned about her quietness.
"I'm fine why?"
"Because you look like you're upset about something. Is it about the party? 'Cause if you want we can leave. I wouldn't have a problem with it."
Clare lightly shook her head. "No I'm fine don't worry, I've just been kind of out of it today. Sort of like you when I was talking about Ali." she smiled, assuring me she was okay.
I wasn't sure why we were having as much fun as we were, I mean it's not like we were doing anything besides talking. But I was having fun none the less. Somehow, Clare and I wound up upstairs and in the bathroom. My guess is that we were trying to get away from the noise so we could actually hear each other. "What is your favorite color Mr. Goldsworthy?" she asks during our game of twenty questions.
"Blue." I say without needing to think about it.
"Not black?" she asks in disbelief.
"Nope. Blue."
"And why is blue your favorite color?"
"Because it's the color of your gorgeous eyes" It's only after I say it, that I realize how cheesy that sounds.
It seems as if she doesn't think it's a cheesy as I do considering the fact that she leans forward kissing me as my reward.
It first begins as a few playful pecks on the lips, but steadily evolves into much deeper, much more passionate kisses.
As I'm fighting the desperate need to feel her entire body against mine, she slides her hands under my shirt and gently slips her tongue in my mouth. Making an involuntary and unwanted moan of pleasure escape my lips. Well that sure as hell didn't make this any easier. the little voice said as she pulled her hands back out of my shirt.
While I'm pulling her body closer to mine, I realize how little self-control I have when it comes to the beautiful girl molded against me. She moves her hands up the front of shirt, and unbuttons the top one.
That's what makes all my morality snap back in place. "Clare what are you doing?" I gasp, forcing myself away from her.
I can see the confusion spreading across her face. "I was just… well I thought that… I- I- I don't know, I was just you know."
"Clare how many times do we have to go through this before it finally get through? I'm not having sex with you." I almost shout.
Soon the confused expression turns into a much worse one, hurt. The look on her face absolutely breaks my heart to know I was the one who put it there. After a second she straightens up too much for what's normal for her. "Okay, sorry I misunderstood you. It won't happen again." she says coldly and storms out of the bathroom.
Oh my God, what did you just do? the voice says in disbelief. And for once I agree with it.