Alone

by Wildroses2009

Sofie is the Dragonborn's daughter. Her daily life is better than her old one on the streets, but it still has it's own problems and difficulties. Trigger warning for dubcon that is between the lines but certainly there but nothing explicit as writing explicit scenes in a story from the point of view of an eight year old was too eww.

4. Chapter 4: Alone Again

Part Four – Alone Again

The days after the army marched rapidly settled back into patterns both new and familiar. Kit and Dolly needed to be fit into the old patterns, as did begging Talos to prevent any situations which would result in Sofie being alone forever again. In the morning Sofie would dress herself and Dolly, brush both their hair, then slip Dolly in her pocket and head to Candlehearth Hall for breakfast. She didn't have as long as before to listen to Adonato talking, or Stenvar when he came back from his contract, because she had to go home to feed Kit breakfast before lessons. Lessons were rather unpleasant after the army marched as Wuunferth turned out to be grumpy if he was tired. It took a week before he caught up with all the sleep he lost writing healing scrolls for the army. After lunch at Candlehearth Hall she would drop by the Temple to Talos and spend a few minutes kneeling by the altar asking Talos the same three things: that Mama and Calder return home quickly so she wouldn't be alone anymore, that the Thalmor never come to Skyrim so Mama and Calder wouldn't have to leave her alone to fight them, and that Ulfric Stormcloak died while capturing Solitude so he stop taking Mama and Calder away and leaving her alone. When she finished praying she went home to feed Kit lunch, then they went for a walk together around Solitude picking flowers and visiting Shahvee. After they would go home for Sofie to sweep the house and make potions before dinner, where she would listen to conversations at Candlehearth Hall. Evenings weren't as unpleasant as before as instead of being alone in Hjerim she now had Kit and Dolly to play with. When bedtime came around undressed herself and Dolly and went to bed for the night.

It was fifteen days after the army marched before Sofie overheard any news. She nearly missed it because she didn't overhear the news on Mama in Candlehearth Hall like she always had before. She overheard it in the Palace of the Kings on the way to lessons.

"…gave the order, but the Dragonborn was the one who killed General Tullius."

The word Dragonborn was what caught Sofie's attention. She came to a stop on the verge of heading upstairs, head whipping around to see who was talking. It was a Stormcloak so dirty she'd clearly just come from the road, talking to Ulfric's steward and another man Sofie had never seen but was clearly a Stormcloak general from his uniform. They were standing near the throne, the opposite end of the room to the upstairs area where Wuunferth's room was. Sofie inched closer to them, crouching behind the banqueting table.

"Haafinger is ours then," the steward breathed. "The war is truly over. You don't think the Empire will attempt to reassert their rule, do you?"

The General shook his head. "The Thalmor are far more likely to invade rather than the Empire. They've lost too many men already, not to mention General Tullius."

"What about his second in command?"

"The Dragonborn killed her too."

Ulfric's steward gave a little sigh. "Poor Rikke. Poor Ulfric. I know he was hoping to spare her but I didn't think that was likely. She was as stubborn as he is over a matter of principle. Ulfric must be devastated. I'm glad he wasn't the one who had to do it. I wonder if this will cool him off on the Dragonborn."

"That wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing now," the General said. "Elisif was secured, wasn't she?"

"Yes. She swore fealty to the Jarl in public with many witnesses."

"Good. That should make it easier…"

Reluctantly, Sofie left. It wasn't worth staying until she was late for lessons. Wuunferth's short temper from his week of short sleep was recent enough that she still felt he should be treated with wariness. It hadn't been wasted though, it sounded like Mama had survived which was good. It made up for the Jarl also surviving, which was a real pity. Maybe she should have spent longer at her prayers.

Wuunferth shot her a look that made her step back as she walked through the door. "You're cutting it fine today."

"Sorry," Sofie muttered. When it didn't make Wuunferth's look any friendlier she added: "I wanted to hear more about who survived the battle at Solitude but the courier didn't tell the steward or the General if Calder had survived or not. I hope he did, Mama said she likes him being her housecarl. I do too…"

"What? There is a courier from Solitude here?" Wuunferth left the room, moving the fastest Sofie had ever seen him go. After a long time she got bored of waiting for him to come back, sat down at her usual chair and picked up the book on the desk. Reading turned out to be much easier when Wuunferth wasn't constantly scowling at her and barking questions about what she was reading and what the big words meant.

When lunch came around and Wuunferth still wasn't back Sofie just put the book down and left. As she was leaving she saw him talking to the steward and several other guards. From what she overheard it was all uninteresting political topics like when Ulfric would be declared High King and what it would mean for Windhelm, not something worthwhile like if Calder was alive or when Mama was coming home.

Sofie had hoped somebody having lunch at Candlehearth Hall might know information from which she could deduce these answers but she was doomed to disappointment. Nobody at Candlehearth Hall seemed to know the Stormcloak's had even won yet, judging from how Stenvar and Adonato kept arguing about which one of them the bard liked better. Even though they were doing it very quietly (Sofie had to strain her ears to hear them) she could tell they were getting angrier by the minute and was quick to leave to fetch Kit and visit the docks in case Shahvee could tell her anything new. In this she only received more disappointment as she turned out to know more than Shahvee, who wanted to hear everything she had overheard the courier say, as did all the rest of the Argonians, then the sailors on the nearby ships who heard them talking, then Suvaris Atherton who wanted to know why everyone had stopped working. Sofie had never talked so much or had people so interested in what she was saying in her life. She wasn't sure if she liked it or not. If it had been Mama and Calder or just Shahvee it would have been enjoyable but Sofie couldn't fully enjoy herself if she wasn't completely sure she would stay safe.

By dinner time Sofie had more luck. Not only had enough of Windhelm knew of the battle that it was all anyone was talking about, the courier herself was there. It was several minutes before Sofie realised this as she was surrounded by people, and she wasted time listening to Captain Lonely-Gale and the Priestess talking about how the victory was proof of Talos's blessing. It wasn't until Nils reluctantly tore himself away from the crowd to continue serving mead that Sofie spotted her, clean and out of her uniform now. She hurriedly gathered up her meal and inched closer to hear the courier speaking. "…only witnesses to General Tullius's death. The door was locked after they went in, and it wasn't unlocked until after he was dead. Ulfric Stormcloak gave a victory speech directly after." When several people asked about the speech the courier went on: "He began by thanking the Dragonborn. I suppose she did bring down a lot of Imperials but…I think she might have attacked more of our own people than her poor housecarl. Sometimes I wonder if she's an orc underneath the armour. It would explain how easily she slips into a berserk rage during battle."

Sofie, who had stiffened in horror since the word housecarl had slipped out of the courier's mouth, blurted out: "Is her housecarl dead?"
"I didn't hear before I left Solitude. I think he was just unconscious when they took him to the medical tent but you never know with head injuries. Sometimes they wake up, sometimes they don't."

Somebody asked a question about the victory speech again, and Calder stopped being the topic of conversation, not that it mattered. Sofie had heard all she had needed to hear. Once her meal was finished she went home to lie on her bed, stare at the ceiling and not sleep. Knowing Mama was alive and thus would prevent her from being alone forever again stopped her crying, but not knowing if Calder would come home with her gave her flashbacks to the time she realized her father was not coming home ever again.

It was a little under two weeks before anyone mentioned Calder around her again. Mama was mentioned in a few overheard conversations but nothing Sofie found particularly worthwhile. It was all stuff that she did during the Solitude battle, which sounded the same as the stuff she did during all the other battles which not really Mama anyway, just her dragon taking over. In a way it was more frustrating than nobody mentioning Mama as Sofie didn't care about the battle now she knew Mama had survived it. What she wanted to know now was if she had defeated Alduin and could come home to put an end to Sofie being alone. But all anyone would talk about was the battle. Sofie was sitting in Candlehearth Hall one evening wondering if she ought to add: "Talos please make people stop talking about the battle and start talking about Alduin so I know if Calder and Mama are still alive" to her daily prayer when Quintus Navale sat opposite her on the table. She gathered up her bowl of stew to find a place on the floor to sit. When Quintus put his arm around her wrist she hurriedly added: "You can have the table. I'm leaving." It didn't often happen, but on very busy evenings if she was alone people did sometimes get Sofie to vacate her table.

"Don't go. I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh!" That was surprising. Sofie put her bowl back on the table, thinking of a good topic of conversation. "I heard Nurelion died. That must have made you sad."

"It did. But thanks to Faire he didn't die knowing his life's work was in vain. I owe her a lot for that. So… Calder has not returned to Windhelm, has he?"

Sofie shook her head. "I don't even know if he's coming back. He got hurt at Solitude. The courier said he might not wake up."

"Mmm," Quintus said. "You'll be heading home fairly soon? Won't you?"

"Yes. I'm not allowed to be out after dark. Mama's scared someone might kidnap me."

"I can see why she'd be worried. I hope now the war is over the Stormcloaks have the resources to do something about all these vampire attacks. I don't know what's gotten into them lately."

Sofie opened her mouth to say Mama was more worried about Thalmor agents kidnapping her than vampires, remembered she wasn't supposed to talk about the Thalmor, and shut it again. Quintus was standing up and didn't notice she'd been going to speak. "I should be going."

"It was nice speaking to you," Sofie told Quintus's rapidly retreating back, then refocused her attention on her unfinished meal.

Talking with Quintus put Sofie in a fretful mood, and she was distracted when she got home. She did notice a lamp had been lit inside her room but it took her a little longer to remember she had not left her lamp on, then realise the implications of it being on now. Without conscious thought her feet began moving. "Mama? Calder?" she called, racing inside to the sight Quintus taking her dresses out of her chest. It was too late to stop her momentum and she ended up awkwardly collapsing into his legs instead of hurling her arms around them, as she had been going to for Mama or Calder. Disappointment and shock overwhelmed her. "Why are you here? You aren't Mama or Calder. How did you get in? I locked the door. I always lock it because Mama told me I had to…"

"Your Mama sent me the key. She wants me to bring you to her." Quintus put the dresses into a backpack. When Sofie peeked inside she could see her books, drum and spare dagger were already in the bag. There was a closed basket next to the bag from which protesting little whines were emanating. "Why is Kit in a basket? Did Mama tell you to bring Kit as well?"

"She did. Is there anything else not in this bag you'd be upset about if you never saw again?"

"My potions and alchemy ingredients. Is Calder with Mama as well?"

Quintus's eyes slid away from hers. "You'll have to ask her about that yourself. Where do you keep your alchemy items?"

Sofie went to fetch them. While Quintus was finding spaces to cram them into the backpack she asked: "Why isn't Mama fetching me herself?"

"She didn't say in her letter. But after what she did for Nurelion I'm not going to deny her anything she asks of me." Quintus put the backpack on and picked up Kit's basket. "Let's go. I need to be back from Kynesgrove in time to open The White Phial tomorrow morning."

"We're going to Kynesgrove? Now? But Mama doesn't want me to be out after dark!"

Quintus grabbed her hand in a firm hold. "She does in this case. Her letter was explicit about getting you out of Windhelm in the dark."

"Why did she change her mind?"

"You'll have to ask her about that yourself." Quintus began walking her out the door. Sofie chose not to protest. The temptation of seeing Mama again was too great, and Quintus was taking everything that made being alone in Hjerim bearable. As there was nothing worth staying in Hjerim for (and she doubted Quintus would give Kit, her toys, her dresses and her hand back if she asked) Sofie followed the alchemist through the streets of Windhelm. He took a longer route than he had to, preferring streets with less people on them to the busier ones which would have had them reach the gates faster. Once they did he hurried her past the guards on duty fast enough she had to run.

"Can we go a little slower, please Quintus?"

"Be quiet!" Quintus hissed. Sofie flinched, partly from shock. Quintus had never before given her any reason to think he was someone to be wary of. Her fear only intensified as they finished crossing the bridge out of Windhelm to the road when she saw the carriage. The presence of a carriage meant she had to talk instead of being safely silent.

"A carriage has arrived," she whispered, hoping Quintus might see the issue without any further word. When he kept pulling her towards the road instead of the stables it was clear he wouldn't. Gathering up her courage, she went on: "Calder might be on it."

"Or he might not." Quintus didn't stop his pulling. They were on the crossroads between the stable and the road to Kynesgrove by this stage. Sofie started pulling back. "We won't know unless we check. We should check to see if Calder is on the carriage."

Her pulling was futile against Quintus's strength. He clearly had no intention of letting go of her hand or deviating away from the road to Kynesgrove. "You'll need to ask your Mama yourself about Calder."

"But what if Calder's on the carriage? I'll miss him! He'll go to Hjerim and I won't be there!" The horror of this scenario was enough to make Sofie forget she was supposed to be talking quietly and start yanking back on his restraining clutch with all her strength. Her failure to break his grip was so complete she ended up hitting her knees on the stone path. She'd never been able to experience physical pain without screaming, which caused Quintus to slap a hand on her mouth. When the sound of her cries faded from her ears she was able to hear Kit wailing, Quintus telling her to shut the Oblivion up and running feet. Quintus looked up at the footsteps and swore.

"Sofie? Is that you? It is you!"

"Calder!" Sofie stood up, pulling her hand away from Quintus who instantly let it go, to move close enough to Calder to be picked up. "Calder! You're alive! The courier said you might not wake up! Is Alduin dead? Are you back forever now? Why didn't Mama come back with you?"

Calder didn't answer any of her questions in favour of asking Quintus one. "Why are you out here with my Thane's daughter?" His tone was full of suppressed rage over a veneer of coldness, which made Sofie disinclined to press for answers. It didn't bother her. It was enough to have Calder holding her. Sofie wrapped her arms around Calder's chest and leaned her head against his shoulder to watch the row that was ever so clearly about to happen. To her relief, instead of speaking Quintus merely pulled a piece of paper from his pocket to hand to Calder. There was silence as Calder read it.

"Why is she insisting I don't come or even know?" Calder didn't sound cold or angry any more, just miserable.

Quintus shrugged. "I wouldn't know. You probably have a better idea about that than I do."

"Ulfric." The suppressed rage was coming back into Calder's voice. "I kept asking her. Why didn't she say she didn't want him near her? I'd have done… something."

"She's a High Elf, Calder," Quintus said. "They never ask themselves what they want, only what their superior wants. When I told my brothers I wanted to apprentice under an Altmer they wouldn't let me near him until my apprenticeship contract had a clause about separate sleeping chambers and no physical contact."

Calder didn't seem to hear. "That doesn't explain why she doesn't want me to come when she leaves. She must be planning to leave forever. She wouldn't be asking for Sofie and Kit if she wasn't."

Her most recent conversations still fresh in Sofie's memory gave her the perfect thing to respond with that. None of Calder's anger had been directed at her and being held securely against him was reassuring enough to give her the courage to say it. "Why don't you ask her about that yourself?"

"That's a terrible idea! You can't!" Quintus cried at the same times as Calder said: "That's an excellent idea. I shall."

"You can't!" Quintus cried again, louder. "You read the letter! She'll be furious if I bring you."

"You aren't bringing me. I just happen to be going to Kynesgrove as well."

"She'll never believe I didn't tell you. Can you at least appear a few minutes after Sofie and I?"

Calder's arms tightened around her. "So you can warn her to vanish before we can talk? No. Sofie and I will go together."

Quintus didn't verbally respond to that but his slumped shoulders spoke for him. He silently turned and led them along the road to Kynesgrove.

Sofie dismissed his distress. She was with Calder and they were going to Mama. The only thing which wasn't perfect about this scenario was after they arrived. "You won't leave me if Mama tells you to go, will you Calder?"

"Not willingly."

As this response wasn't as reassuring as Sofie had been hoping she did not follow up on it or allow herself to dwell on it, ruining the precious joy of the moment. "How long did it take you to wake up? I heard Mama hit your head when her dragon was taken over."

"Only a day. Don't mention that to your mother. She was terribly upset when she came down. The Solitude battle was...bloody. And long. Longer than any other battle she's been in, so her dragon moment was…also bloody. And long."

"Can she stay home with me forever now? Or does she still have to kill Alduin first?" That was a vitally important question, but Calder did not respond in the affirmative.

"When I last saw Faire she was going to. Odahviing had agreed to fly her to where Alduin was hiding. I don't know what happened after they left. Another thing I'm going to have to ask her about…"

"Why didn't you go with her?"

"She told me to stay just in case she didn't come back. Faire didn't want to risk you being alone again."

That was a horrifying thought. But clearly it hadn't happened as they were going to Mama now. Mama wanted her, even if she didn't want Calder for some reason. The thought of being without Calder was as horrifying as being without Mama. "You'll come back if Mama tells you to go, won't you Calder?"

"Yes."

Sofie finally got the feeling of proper reassurance she had been seeking. The relief made her slump, snuggling her body even further into Calder's chest. It was warm there. Sofie didn't move, apart from closing her eyes. It was reaching the time Sofie normally went to bed. The rocking movement of Calder's steps was soothing, as was the feeling of his breath against her hair, physical reminders she was not alone.

Sofie didn't even notice when she'd fallen asleep until she was carried from the dark night outside into the bright lamplight of a strange room. Blinking, she looked around. "Where's are we? Is this Kynesgrove?"

"Yes."

"Where's Mama? Mama's supposed to be in Kynsegrove. I don't see her."

"Her letter said she had taken the room on the right…"Calder began. Sofie didn't wait to hear any more, jumping to the ground to run to the right door. "Mama! It's me! I'm here!" She didn't have to pound on the door for long before it opened, allowing her to fall into the eager arms of the woman on the other side. "Mama!" Sofie was pulled in close as Mama sank down, pulling her into her lap. Because Mama was only wearing a simple tunic with hair hanging loose Sofie could feel when she looked up, saw the two people behind Sofie and stiffened, breath hissing through clenched teeth.

"I tried. The carriage from Whiterun arrived just as we were leaving and Sofie threw a tantrum to get his attention. Calder insisted on coming even though I begged him not to. Ask them, they'll tell you. Goodbye!" Quintus was heading to the door before he'd even finished speaking, which was quite impressive considering the speed with which he was talking. As soon as he'd spoken his farewells Quintus ran the last few steps to the door, leaving silence in his departure.

Calder was the first to break it. "Is Alduin dead?"

Mama didn't speak but from her position on her lap Sofie could tell she nodded from the way the hair hanging over her shoulders and across Sofie moved up and down. Calder gave a sigh of pure relief. "Thank Talos. You saved the world, even if you don't believe it. Thank you." He paused, perhaps waiting for Mama to say something which never came. When it became clear she wasn't going to make a sound Calder spoke again. "I suppose we need to talk. Did you want it to be out here, or privately?" Mama kept silent but stood up, shifting Sofie to her hip when she wouldn't let go. As Mama took a few steps backwards Calder started to walk inside her room. Right as Calder entered Mama suddenly raised her hand to her mouth, threw Sofie onto the bed and tried to run past him.

Before Sofie could feel alarmed Calder grabbed her shoulder in one hand and her arm in the other which he used to spin her around. "Don't you dare run away before we've talked!" Mama didn't say anything, but jerked herself backwards in her desperation to escape his grasp. Calder's grip on her didn't break. The opposite, Sofie could see his knuckles whitening as he pulled her back towards him. "Stop trying to run away!" he cried out, loud enough to make Sofie wonder if she should be running too. "What sort of a villain do you think I…" Calder never finished his sentence as Mama finally parted her lips. Instead of words, vomit escaped her mouth which landed on Calder's chest. He let her go then but Mama didn't use her newfound movement to keep running, just bend over. Calder backed away enough that this time the vomit landed on the floor instead of him. "I don't think you're a villain, I think you're an idiot," Mama said when she'd finished throwing up. "I suppose I should apologise for your shirt but I'm not going to. It was your own fault." Mama turned. Before she could take any steps Calder grabbed her again. "Now where are you going?"

"The front counter. Iddra keeps clean water there. The floor needs cleaning, thanks to your meddling."

Calder pulled her back from the door, towards the bed. As soon as she was in reach Sofie reached out, grasping Mama's tunic in her hands and tugging until she sat down, allowing Sofie to crawl on her lap again. "I'll do it. Sick people shouldn't clean," he said as Mama was being persuaded to sit with her. Mama buried her face in Sofie's hair. "I'm not sick," she muttered.

"Of course you're sick. You're vomiting."

"I'm not vomiting because I'm sick," Mama said as she raised her head, locking eyes with Calder. After a few seconds Calder's eyes widened. His mouth opened and closed a few times. Eventually, he managed to speak. "Oh."

"Weren't you going to clean off the floor?"

Calder left the room. Sofie took the chance to let Kit out of his basket as he was beginning to whine. When the first thing he tried to do on being release was eat Mama's pile of vomit she picked him up and went back to Mama's lap. "Why did you tell Quintus to bring Kit and all my things? Are we not going to live in Hjerim anymore?"

"No."

"Are we going to live on the street again?"

"We aren't going to live in Windhelm anymore."

"Who is we? Is Calder part of we?"

Mama didn't answer that, perhaps because Calder came back with a bucket, rags and a glass of water for her to rinse out her mouth. "Weren't you supposed to be taking a potion to stop this happening?" he said as he began wiping the soiled floor.

"I think it happened after Solitude. I was using a lot of restoration magic. It's called restoration magic because it restores the body to a natural state prior to outside influences. Normally this is blades or poisons but it can include contraceptive potions. Obviously."

Sofie wanted to ask what contraceptive meant but Kit distracted her by beginning to wash her face. Calder and Mama kept talking, and she lost her chance.

"It's the Jarl's then?"

"No, it's Alduin's, you meddlesome idiot. Of course it's the Jarls! Who else would it be?"

"Is what the Jarls? Do we have to see him again to give something back before we leave?" Sofie pushed Kit away from her face to break into the conversation. Kit began washing her pushing hand instead.

"We are never going to see Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak ever again." Despite the fact she was talking to Sofie, Mama was staring at Calder as she replied. Calder finished cleaning off the floor and took off his shirt. "Because of the baby or because you're afraid of him?" he asked, dunking his shirt in the water bucket.

Sofie frowned, confused. "What baby?"

"Mine. You're going to be a sister."

"You're going to have a baby?"

"Yes."

Sofie considered this piece of news, scratching Kit's head. From what she knew, pregnant women never went to fight people in dangerous territory because they were too busy being pregnant to do much else. And babies needed mothers because they needed milk all the time, and couldn't be taken into dangerous territory either. Mama being pregnant meant a long term future of her not leaving Sofie alone for a long, long time as babies took ages to grow into children. The baby itself also seemed to be a good thing in its own right. Another person in the family meant another barrier between being alone forever. "That's nice. What are we going to call it?" Seeing as adults wanted everything named, asking about the name seemed the properly grown up thing to do. It did make Mama smile. "Nightshade."

"What if it's a boy?" Calder said.

"I'm still calling him Nightshade."

Calder dropped his shirt in the bucket, looking horrified. "You can't name a boy after a flower!"

"Yes I can. And I'm going to." Mama's tone had been hard, but as she continued speaking her voice became softer, and sadder. "It's as close as I can safely get to naming him after the man I wish could have been his father. Tamir loved flowers."

Calder didn't say anything straight away, getting up from his place on the floor to sit next to them.

"You never answered my question. Do you want to leave because you are afraid for the baby or because you are afraid of the Jarl?"

"The baby."

"Why didn't you tell me what he was that much of a monster?"

Mama's brow wrinkled, as she stared at her hands. "He isn't a monster. Not the way you are thinking. He's not violent. I can't see him wounding any child deliberately. But that doesn't mean he wouldn't hurt my baby. My child will never be as important as the children he'll have with Elisif. And he hates Altmer. After what I read in the dossier I found in the Thalmor embassy I can't really blame him. I don't think he'll ever be able to not hate Altmer. He doesn't like me. He never liked me personally, just what I could do for him. Nightshade will never be able to do anything for the future High King except be an embarrassment. Skyrim doesn't like Altmer much either. I know they call us witch elves." Mama paused, brow unwrinkling, eyes going from distant to dangerously glinted as she raised her head to look at Calder. "You can tell the Jarl not to look for us or worry about our actions. I won't interfere with any of his plans. Why would I? I don't even care about Skyrim or Talos."

Calder inclined his head, eyes suddenly matching the glint in Mama's as he folded his arms across his bare torso. "Why do you think I'm telling him?"

"Stop playing dumb. You aren't coming with us."

That was intolerable and could not pass without comment. Sofie gave a scream as she launched herself from Mama's lap to Calder's, locking her arms around him tightly. Kit gave a yelp of surprise as he was suddenly not in Sofie's lap. "Calder has to come with us if we're leaving and never coming back! He's our friend!"

"He isn't, Sofie. We were always just a job to him. He just pretended to like us to make his job easier." Mama started wiping at her eyes. "I'll admit he did it well…"

Sofie took a gasping breath to launch into a passionate denial but Calder put his finger over her mouth before she could begin. "I wasn't pretending. I considered you a friend as well as a Thane, as I did with Sofie. Why did you think otherwise?"

"How could I not when we only met because the Jarl needed someone to make sure I was a good little elf and behaved liked the perfect Stormcloak Dragonborn he needed? He wouldn't have assigned you to me if he wasn't convinced your loyalty to him would outweigh any to me."

"That's… fair. I was loyal to him. I believed in his politics. I think I still am loyal to his ideals. But after I became your housecarl I began to see a different side of him as a person. And my loyalties shifted."

"And so you think I should let you to come with us and trust you not to go running to the Stormcloaks with my location at the earliest opportunity?"
"Yes!" Sofie cried out. "Yes you should!"

Calder turned Sofie towards himself and pressed her face into his chest. As it was hard to talk from this position, Sofie went silent again. She wished she had kept hold of Kit for comfort, but Kit had started to explore the room and didn't look like he was interested in her right now.
"I certainly hope you do," Calder said, in a carefully calm manner. "The thought of you wandering off alone pregnant with a child in tow terrifies me. What if you continue being sick right through your pregnancy or the birth goes badly? Who'll look after Sofie if something happens to you? And what if you get sick after your baby is born? What if the Stormcloaks find you? Or the Thalmor? Could you fight them off alone while you were pregnant? Or with a baby? While trying to keep Sofie safe? Even if I didn't like you, it would make me feel much easier if you allowed me to go with you."

By the end of that speech Mama's eyes were wide, with no glint in them anymore. Even though Calder had been the one who spoke of being terrified, Mama was the one who seemed terrified at at his words. When the silence went on a while Sofie twisted her head out of Calder's gentle grip to speak. "Please, Mama?"

There was more silence. It went on so long Sofie was about to beg again when Mama broke it. "Do you really like us enough to leave Windhelm never to return? Never to see anyone you know again?"

Joy and hope bloomed in Sofie's heart. She held her breath for Calder's response. It didn't disappoint her.

"You know my parents are as dead as yours and I never had siblings. I have no reason to return if you two…you three aren't in Windhelm."

After another long silence Mama spoke again. "I was going to go into hiding with a new identity. You'll need one as well. You can't be my housecarl. Anyone trying to find us would have too easy a job."

Calder took a deep breath, looking nervous. "Please hear me out and don't reject this idea instantly. How about I pretend to be Sofie's father and your new husband? It'll explain a half human baby and stop people thinking it's the Jarls. You'll be completely safe, I promise. It'll just be pretend for the sake of appearances. I wouldn't…expect anything or try to force myself on you. I'm not Jarl Ulfric."

Sofie badly wanted to say she thought this was an absolutely marvelous idea, but Calder put his hand over her mouth. Mama had to break the long silence again. "It's a good idea but I'm not good at pretending. What would you say if I proposed we didn't pretend?"

Calder eyes went wide, then narrowed. "Is this some kind of Altmer obligation thing again? Are you just offering because you think you have to because I'm doing you a favour?"

"No. Ever since I lost Tamir I've hated being alone. I don't understand why he decided he had to intervene. The Investigators wouldn't have cared about him if he hadn't tried. He was just a gardener. They said they knew that none of the servants had been involved with my mother's treason and were going to be left unharmed, they were only here to purge me. I don't know why he decided he had to attack them, he would have been fine if he hadn't…" Mama had been getting more and more upset as she was speaking. Sofie wasn't surprised when she began sobbing too much to keep speaking. Calder reached over Sofie to pull Mama into his arms. As she was now in reach, Sofie hugged Mama as well. She cried for several minutes before anyone spoke.

"I know why Tamir decided to attack them," Calder told Mama, speaking gently. "He cared about your life more than his. I can understand that. I would do the same if I ever find myself in the same situation."

"I hope you never do. I've been so miserable since I realised I couldn't ever return to Windhelm. I didn't know why until you walked in and all I could feel was happiness, even though I knew I was supposed to feel horrified."

Calder replied to Mama by kissing her. That got boring quickly, so Sofie looked to see what Kit was doing. His exploration of the room complete, Kit decided to hop back into the basket and fall asleep. Eventually Mama and Calder broke apart and began talking. Sofie quietly listened to them discuss the abandoned shack in the forrest halfway between Ivarstead and Riverwood which had a garden they were going to live in now and plans to make simple potions, hunt animals and grow plants to earn enough money to live on. When they began asking her about what names they were going to use from now on Sofie agreed to them. She had no reason not to. Everything she had dreamed of was coming true. She had a father again and parents who weren't going to have to leave. Her days of being alone were over forever.