Chapter 4

Reminder: This story is set in an AU in which Spock and Uhura never got together; read Furyan Goddess's Pon Farr if you're interested in the relationship between Spock and OFC Autumn.

Yeoman Janice Rand handed the Captain the shift duty roster, which he took absentmindedly. She hesitated for a moment, waiting for his usual morning banter, but he seemed focused on his reports. Her brow furrowed, then she leaned a bit closer to him, allowing her breasts to brush against his arm. "Do you need anything else, Captain?" she asked.

"What? Oh, no. Thank you, Yeoman, that will be all."

Surprise was clear on her face, but she turned professionally and exited the bridge, her intricate blond braid bouncing as she entered the lift. Uhura made eye contact with Autumn, then both women shrugged. Even Spock eyed the captain with curiosity before turning back to his work. McCoy, however, was not so easily distracted.

"Captain, can I talk to you in private for a moment?" he said.

When they were alone in the lift, McCoy blurted out, "What the hell's the matter with you, Jim?"

"What?" Kirk asked in surprise.

"Rand! You just completely ignored her and her ample bosom. You never fail to take the opportunity to flirt with her. What's wrong with you? Are you coming down with Orion flu?"

Kirk laughed at his friend. "Bones, you're the one who's been pushing me to mend my ways. I thought you'd be pleased!"

McCoy looked at him suspiciously, but didn't reply because he was at a loss for words.

"Besides," Kirk continued in a didactic tone, "it is against Starfleet regulations for a captain to have sexual relations with his direct reports."

"That never stopped you from ogling Rand before," McCoy grumbled.

"Honestly, Doctor, you are impossible to please," Kirk said. He wore his best wiseass grin as he slid past McCoy to exit the lift.

***

McCoy was perplexed by Kirk's behavior all day. After consulting several psych journals, he still was unsure what to think. Had the Captain finally taken an interest in cleaning up his reputation? Or was this yet another symptom of his infatuation with the Enterprise? Surely he wasn't avoiding all women now? Never thought I'd see the day when I hoped he was still having one-night stands.

Then it hit him; Kirk hadn't given up his philandering ways, he had simply already had Yeoman Rand! The two of them had been flirting outrageously for months. They must have finally done the deed, and now that the chase is over, he's lost interest. That must be it. Old Jim "love 'em and leave 'em" Kirk strikes again.

Lots of girls back at the Academy had had their hearts broken when Kirk had moved on to more challenging women, and McCoy felt a stab of sympathy for poor Janice. Kirk probably didn't even realize he'd hurt her feelings.

I'll have to talk to him about that. Won't do to have a disgruntled Yeoman, McCoy thought, but there was a new spring in his step as he made his way to the crew lounge, where he saw his friends gathered around a chess board.

"Is it true then?" Scotty was saying as McCoy pulled up a chair. "Hae ye forsaken' Miss Rand? Is she available now?"

Spock turned an apathetic gaze on the Chief Engineer. "Mr. Scott, your attempts at romantic endeavors never cease to amaze me," he intoned in a dry, emotionless voice.

"Ye don' look amazed, laddie. Ye look dormant!" Scotty said, but he subtly moved his chair a bit further away from the Vulcan. Though there were no hard feelings between the men, officially, Scotty still felt nervous around Spock, especially when the subject of Autumn came up. Or any woman for that matter. He glanced nervously at the other men at the table, hoping for some back-up.

McCoy's amusement was apparent. "Why, Mr. Scott, don't tell me you're thinking of making a move on the Yeoman?" This might be just what she needs to mend her broken heart, McCoy thought.

"Well, she may need some comfortin' now that our Captain has spurned 'er," Scotty said with a happy grin. Obviously, Scotty had come to the same conclusion McCoy had regarding Kirk's sudden change in behavior toward her. "And that blonde hair, with the twisty braid? Aye, that's somethin' to light yer knickers on fire."

Spock ignored the obvious taunt; apparently, he would never live down his now-infamous "knickers" comment. Feigning disinterest in the conversation, Spock moved his chess piece, then folded his hands quietly on his lap to wait for Kirk to make his move. The game was going well, and he calculated that he would win in fewer than 15 moves. His attempt to ignore the immature conversation going on around him was somewhat unsuccessful, however, because the captain seemed to be closely following the topic. Spock stifled a sigh; the game might take all night if his opponent was distracted, and he was ready to return to his quarters. Autumn's shift would be over soon, and he wanted to be there to greet her.

He thought perhaps it might be best to steer the conversation back to less-stimulating topics, in hopes of allowing the game to end more quickly. "Captain, as you know, I routinely scan the roster of new programs that Starfleet has flagged for field trials," he began. McCoy's eyes immediately glazed over as he mentally prepared to be bored, and Scotty's attention drifted toward the food replicator. Spock noted their inattention with satisfaction, feeling certain that everyone would lose interest in the conversation and be quiet long enough for the captain to complete this game. He was surprised, then, when he saw the look of alarm on Kirk's face.

"Have I said something inappropriate, Jim?" Of course, at this point, both McCoy and Scotty jerked their full attention back to the conversation.

Kirk quickly hid his unease in an attempt to deflect the situation. "No, of course not, Spock. I just remembered some charts that I have to go over before tomorrow's shift. I should probably go --"

"Nuh uh, not so fast, Jimbo," McCoy said. "Spock's just caught you out in something, hasn't he? What the hell are you up to this time?"

"Nothing! Bones, I'm shocked that you'd even consider the idea! Now, I better get to those reports."

"Reports?" Scotty said. "I though' you said they were charts?"

McCoy didn't give him time to react. "Okay, Spock, spill it. What's going on?"

Spock failed to hide this sigh. Apparently, he had chosen the wrong topic to speed the game's progress. "I simply was going to mention the fact that the Enterprise has been added to the list of possible test ships for an experimental new program." He didn't elaborate further, hoping that the men would let the subject drop.

"What kind of program, Jim? Why did you want to hide it from us?" McCoy asked. "Obviously it's not classified since Spock found it in the staff logs."

Kirk shrugged, then, choosing the most boring way to describe the program, said, "It's a new program to bring on a crew member with advanced knowledge of the cultural development of alien species, to assist with first-contact situations." He spoke in a monotone, then spread his hands as if to say, "see, it's no big deal."

Spock's eyebrow arched, then he added, "If I understood the log correctly, Enterprise has specifically requested a civilian Non-Human Specialist."

"A civilian?" Scotty said. "Tha' doesn' make any sense!"

McCoy nodded in agreement. "That is a damn sight odd, Jim. A civilian? And why the secrecy?"

"It's just an experimental program," Kirk said while casually twirling a chess piece in his fingers. "It might not even get final approval, and there are other ships in the running for it. I didn't see any reason to bring it up now."

"Yet," Spock began, completely unaware of Kirk's warning glare, "it is interesting to note that a member of the Archer family might someday join our crew. It would be prestigious indeed to secure this program for Enterprise. I congratulate you on your foresight, Captain. And," he nodded to the chess board, "it is your move."

"What?" McCoy exploded, standing up from the table so quickly that his chair fell over, scattering the chess pieces across the board. Scotty's exclamation sounded immediately after McCoy's, but it was practically indecipherable.

"You requested Archer's niece to join us here? On the Enterprise?" McCoy exclaimed. "Jim, are you out of your cotton-pickin' mind?"

"Shh!" Kirk growled, indicating the other tables full of people in the crew lounge. He glared at his friends until they calmed down and took their seats again.

Spock groaned inwardly, glancing at the disrupted chessboard. "I am sorry, Captain, I did not know that you wished to keep this to yourself."

"It's okay, Spock," Kirk said. "They would have found out about it soon anyway."

"I do not understand the problem," Spock stated.

"The problem is that he's been lusting after Archer's niece," McCoy stormed. "And now, he's somehow found a way to manipulate the system to get her here so he can make a move on her."

"Oh, laddie, what hae ye done?" Scotty moaned. "Yer courtin' the instrument o' yer own destruction! Ye'll get yourself kicked out o' Starfleet this time for sure!"

Spock's brow clouded at this revelation. "Perhaps they have a legitimate point, Captain. An illicit affair with someone so highly connected could indeed be damaging to your career."

Kirk felt insulted, and it showed on his face. "You're all assuming that the only reason I signed up for this program is so I can sleep with her! And, you're also assuming she won't like it!" Kirk said. Then he realized that he practically had admitted the very thing he was trying to deny, but he plowed on anyway. "You're overlooking the fact that this is a potentially valuable program, and Lea is the best candidate for the position."

"Oh, Lea is it? Already on a first-name basis with her?" McCoy said.

"This is bad," Scotty said. "Ye ought to just start packin' yer bags now, 'cause you're going to end up workin' as a janitor on some tarnished ol' freight hauler."

"Oh, calm down, you sourpusses," Kirk said with a huff. He was secretly excited about the possibility of Lea coming on board, and he didn't want his friends to put a damper on his spirits. "Nothing bad is going to happen, and I'm not going to get kicked out of Starfleet. If she is assigned to Enterprise, I'll just take it slow and see how it goes."

"See? He is plannin' ta bed her!" Scotty said to McCoy. "Can' ye do somethin' to make him see reason?"

McCoy rubbed the bridge of his nose. His head was beginning to pound, and he had no idea how to talk sense into his friend. Obviously, his earlier conclusions about poor Rand had been dead wrong. Kirk had spurned her because he was saving himself for the instrument of his own destruction. "I doubt it, Mr. Scott. He seems hell-bent on self-annihilation."

Kirk was beginning to get truly annoyed. "Why do you all assume this is going to end badly?"

"Well, let's see," McCoy started, counting on his fingers. "You've got a reputation for being an egotistical womanizer, you've been in trouble with Starfleet Command in the past for your inappropriate affairs, you've left broken-hearts across the quadrant, oh, and let's not forget that there is a whole category on the subnet with visual clips of your numerous encounters."

"A whole category?" Kirk said. He hadn't paid much attention to the subnet since leaving the Academy, but he had to admit that was impressive. In a career-suicide kind of way.

"Aye, laddie, it's color-coded: black, white, green and now, since our last visit Earthside, blue," Scotty said. "Which is pretty interestin', ye know, I've always wondered what those Andorian antennae did when they were...um. Ne'er mind," he said when he realized Kirk was glaring at him with open hostility.

"You are infamous, Captain," Spock intoned. He had already packed up the chessboard, and was preparing to leave. "However, I must point out that this conversation is most likely moot. Surely, someone who has grown up in the famous Archer family will be on guard in reference to any potentially embarrassing situations. As a close relative of the former President, she will undoubtedly not risk anything that would damage her family's reputation. And with that, gentlemen, I must bid you a good evening."

Kirk watched Spock leave, feeling decidedly deflated. Then he turned his attention to Scotty, who was staring at him mournfully, and then McCoy, who seemed to be seriously annoyed with him.

"What?" Kirk said.