Chapter Four

He couldn't get her lips out of his head. He couldn't get any of her out of his head, but he especially couldn't get rid of those lips. They were there when he had attempted sleep. They were there when he went for a run, when he showered, when he ate breakfast and now as he lay on the sofa in his room, attempting to read over a script. He wanted to taste them again, to feel them on his even just once more. He'd been fighting it for hours, but as the afternoon light burned brightly in the sky, he could fight no longer.

Tom chuckled as she opened the door to her room, dressed only in a sports bra and a tiny pair of running shorts. "Do you own any actual clothes?"

Megan pursed her lips and looked at him disapprovingly. "I just got back from a run, smart ass. What do you want?" she asked with a laugh.

Tom shrugged, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "I…wanted to see if you would…perhaps want to…accompany me to dinner tonight. Just the two of us."

Megan smiled sweetly. "I would love to….but CiCi is going to be here in a couple of hours… so I already have plans." She could see the disappointment scrawled across the handsome man's face. "but…I was about to order up some lunch and just…relax for awhile…if you wanted to join me."

Tom beamed. "That sounds lovely."

Megan grinned in return and opened the door a bit further. "Come on in. Give me a second to shower and I'll be right back. Make yourself comfy."

"I intend to," he retorted with a smirk as he followed her in and shut the door behind them. Megan quickly disappeared into the bathroom, leaving him alone with his thoughts. And at this moment the only thoughts in his head involved her twenty feet away and naked. He chuckled at himself, shaking his head as he plopped down onto the couch. He was amused by the amount of power this girl had over him, the unknown control she had over his every waking thought. He wondered if she knew her hold on his thoughts. Part of him doubted it, but another part…wondered if maybe this was how every man felt when in her presence: completely enamored, enthralled by her beauty and every word she spoke. She was positively intoxicating and at the moment he had no desire to be sober.

His eyes drifted upward as he heard the bathroom door open. She appeared before him, her dark locks dripping down her tan shoulders, wrapped in one single fluffy white towel. He cleared his throat. "Well…that's modest…" he said jokingly.

"Hey. You're the one who came in here. If you don't like the view, you can leave," Megan stated as she headed into the bedroom directly across from him. She pushed the door closed, but not hard enough that it latched.

Despite his innate desire to react differently, he couldn't help but watch through the crack in the door as the towel dropped to the floor and she stood there, bare as a newborn babe, in all of her inherent glory. She was an incredible specimen, stepping into a pair of black lace panties. She propped a leg up on the edge of the bed and grabbed a bottle of lotion, placing a dollop in her hand before running them down her legs. He couldn't stop watching. He couldn't break the enchantment she held over him, despite his desire to be a better man than he was currently being. He cleared his throat and averted his eyes, landing upon a book on the coffee table next to him.

"Tender Is the Night…" he read aloud. "F Scott Fitzgerald. Very nice."

"I know. It usually amazes people that I can read," came a sarcastic reply.

"That is not what I meant and you know it," Tom chuckled.

"It's fine. I have great boobs. I'm not supposed to be smart too," Megan stated, emerging from the boudoir in sweatpants and a Tshirt, her hands using the towel to wring her hair dry. It was the plainest he'd ever seen her look and still, she was incredible.

"You know you're the only one in this room that thinks such things, right?" Tom stated, pulling his legs up as she fell to the foot of the couch.

"It's a small room," Megan smirked.

"It's an apartment. It's not that small," Tom laughed, looking around. "It's bigger than mine I can assure you of that."

"Well, I am prettier."

Tom laughed loudly. "You are indeed." He watched as her cheeks flushed ever so softly. "You have so much more to offer this world than your looks, though they are…certainly mesmerizing. I wish you wouldn't sell yourself so short."

Megan shrugged. "It's a coping mechanism. Just…words others have said."

"I have not said them. Nor would I."

"You might be biased," Megan teased.

Tom shrugged. "Perhaps a bit…but your personality blinds me more than your beauty."

Megan began giggling. "You are laying it on thick today, Hiddleston."

"I'm just stating the truth."

Megan simply smiled and shook her head. "Let's get some lunch."

He could feel the weight of her body pressed against him, her frame cradled between his and the couch. Their legs, intertwined together as hands roamed the person before them. A movie had started an hour ago, yet not a second of it had been viewed. The only thing he'd seen was her face and the inside of his own eyelids as he got lost kissing her, yet again. His heart was pounding in his chest. His hands alternating between holding her face and roaming her voluptuous body. His breathing grew more and more shallow by the second and he knew that if he didn't take a breath now, there would be no stopping him from ripping the clothes right off her body.

He practically had to tear his mouth from hers, apologetically leaving a small peck behind. "I need…to cool off…" he said with a breathless laugh. He turned onto his back and rested the palm of his hand against his forehead. "Holy shit." Megan simply giggled and buried her face in his shoulder. "You…are an incredibly difficult person to keep a straight head around."

"Why are you trying to keep a straight head?" Megan asked softly as her index finger curled around the collar of his Tshirt.

Tom sighed. "Because I don't want things to get weird."

"What do you mean?"

Tom thought silently a moment and cleared his throat, before heaving a heavy sigh. "Sex makes things weird. It changes things and…we don't know what's going to happen after this and the last thing I want…is you to leave here and…think I'm just another guy who wanted one thing and that's it."

Megan sat up over him and looked down into the sincerest blue eyes she'd ever seen. "I would never, ever think that, Tom. I know you better than that."

Tom smiled sweetly and reached up to brush her bangs from grazing her cheekbones. "I hope so."

Megan smiled sweetly and delivered a short, soft kiss to his lips. "You don't need to worry so much. I promise you, I am…a grown up and can totally take care of myself."

"I'm not doubting that," Tom laughed, folding his arm under his head as he gazed at her. "I'm not…the type of guy that just hooks up with people and…"

"Tom, I know that..."

"I know you do. I'm just saying…" He paused and shook his head. "God I sound like a tit."

"You don't," Megan assured. "You really don't. I understand what you're saying."

"Do you?"

Megan took a deep breath and sighed. "Look. I know…that once we leave here things are…up in the air at best. But I know that we are here for three more weeks and…I don't wanna leave and have any regrets. I want to…do the best I can on this movie…"

"Well I think you're good there," Tom smiled.

Megan chuckled. "And I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can. Doing whatever. This. This is perfect. You are perfect. And if we just spend the next three weeks making out on the couch then so fucking be it. Time well spent."

Tom laughed. "You're pretty incredible, ya know that?"

"I've been told," Megan shrugged.

"And totally humble as well," Tom laughed. He pulled the girl tightly into his chest. "You have to at least let me take you to dinner so I don't feel like quite such a slimeball."

"We've gone to dinner."

"No like…let me be a gentleman and like actually take you to dinner and pay and open doors and pull out chairs…"

"Are you asking me on a real date?"

"I think so."

"I mean you do all of those things anyway…"

"Would you just say yes?" Tom asked with clenched teeth as he poked at the giggling girl's sides. "God. You are infuriating."

"Yes!" Megan shrieked. "I will go on a date with you! Stop!"

"You'd think I was pulling teeth or something. Jesus. I'm trying to be a gentleman and take a girl out on a date before I sleep with her and she's over here arguing with me about it."

"Who are you talking to?" Megan asked.

"Myself. I'm talking to myself because you're an asshole."

Megan laughed and then paused. "So what you're saying is…we're totally gonna have sex…"

Tom burst into laughter so hard, his body began contorting. "I'm starting to feel like that's all you want from me," he teased. "Just an object for you to lust after."

Megan began nodding her head. "It is."

Tom shook his head, still laughing. "At least you're honest."

That night, Tom went out with Luke and the male members of the crew; Kane, David, a couple camera men. It was a guy's night, spent in the same bar they usually spent their nights at. Megan and her best friend and PR manager CiCi were out with the girls, but they would be joining them later. Until then, the boys were taking their time away from the women very seriously.

"So Tom," David spoke up, "what's going on with you and Megs?"

Tom practically choked on the beer he'd just attempted to take a drink of. "What?"

"Come on. I'm young, I'm not stupid. I see you two together," Kane said with a laugh. "You shagged her yet?"

Tom shook his head. "No. No I haven't." He took a drink, the line of questioning making him moderately uncomfortable.

"Well you should. I mean, I don't think there's a guy here that would say no," Kane said, looking around the table as none of the other men disagreed. "Somebody should and you seem to have a foot in the door."

Tom scoffed and his eyes fell to the label on his beer bottle as he began to pick at it. "We are…really good friends…and that's all I'm going to say on the matter."

David, the eldest of the group chuckled. "She tell you guys we were engaged awhile back?"

Tom's eyes shot up and across the table. "What?"

David nodded. "I know. Hard to believe, since I'm old enough to be her father, but yeah. Right after she moved to Hollywood. She was young…right off the bus from Omaha. Didn't turn out so well."

Luke sensed the horror in his co-star's expression. "What happened?" he asked for the silent Tom.

"Well…her first movie was one of mine. She'd had a rough go in LA so far. Bunch of sleaze trying to get her in porn and such like they usually do. She was…scared, naïve. I think…I don't know. She was probably looking for some kind of parental figure or something and we just gravitated toward each other. I mean…I was forty and here was this gorgeous eighteen year old, paying attention to me…what kind of guy wouldn't eat that up?" He looked to his right and a cameraman raised his beer bottle in agreement. "She um…unexpectedly at best…got pregnant and so I proposed. Then she…lost the baby and decided I wasn't what she wanted anymore."

Tom felt like he had either just gotten punched in the stomach or he was about to throw up. This was something she should've told him. Long ago, before the thought of them being something had even been a prospect. He looked to Luke. "Did she tell you any of this?" he asked in a whisper. Luke just shook his head. "Jesus Christ." He ran his hand over his face.

"Just relax, man," Luke said softly. "You're not exactly keeping things inconspicuous right now."

"It's not a big deal," David said, looking in Tom's direction. "It was…ten years ago. Chalk it up to her being young and dumb."

Tom just shook his head, still trying to take in what the director across the table had just told him. "I need some air…" he said, taking a deep breath and standing. "I'll be right back."

All the guys watched after him as Luke sighed.

"So there is something going on there?" Kane asked with a smirk.

"Likely not anymore," Luke sighed.

Tom spent most of the rest of his evening in silence. Luke had convinced him to stay, despite his every desire to go back to the hotel and hide for the remainder of the night. That desire only grew worse with the arrival of the girls.

"What's wrong with you?" Megan asked, sliding into the booth next to him.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," Tom stated simply, sipping on the glass of whiskey in his hand, his eyes staring forward.

She could practically feel ice on his breath. "Tom, what is going on? Talk to me."

"I said I don't want to talk about it," he repeated firmly.

"Well everything was fine like five hours ago and now you won't even look at me, so I'd kind of at least like to know why," Megan retorted.

"Yeah, and I would've liked to know you were engaged to our director before I wasted my time," Tom snapped, shooting her a simultaneously angry and pain filled expression. He then slammed the rest of his drink and rose from the table, heading to the patio outside.

Megan closed her eyes and sighed. "Fuck…" she cursed before getting up and heading after him. "Tom, it's not what you think…"

Tom laughed angrily. "What part of I don't want to talk about it do you not understand?" he asked. "I don't want to have this conversation right now, Megan. I'm not sure I want to have it at all. This is something you should've told me from the very fucking beginning."

"I don't talk about it, Tom!" Megan exclaimed. "It's not something I'm proud of!"

"It. Doesn't. Matter," Tom said sharply.

"Yes, it does," Megan said pleadingly. "Please. Just let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain!" Tom exclaimed. "I'm not doing this! I'm not…getting involved in whatever it is you two have."

"We don't have anything, Tom! It was ten years ago!"

"I don't care! I really don't! I'm done!"

"You don't mean that."

"I really do, Megan. I really do." Tom paused and shook his head before he scoffed. "Ya know… I really liked you. I really thought that you liked me too…"

"I did! Tom, I do… This doesn't change anything…"

"It changes everything!" Tom shouted, throwing his hands into the air. "How could you keep this a secret? You know that if something was to happen between us that things would get very awkward on this set, very quickly. I at least deserved a bit of honesty here. I at least deserved to know exactly what I was getting into. "

Megan sighed. "I don't know what he told you…"

"He told me the truth which is more than I can say for you!"

Megan scoffed dismissively. "I doubt he told you the entire truth."

"It doesn't matter."

"Stop saying that. It does matter, Tom, or you wouldn't be so angry right now."

"I'm not angry," Tom said shaking his head. "I'm just done. I'm not…getting involved in whatever twisted idea of a relationship you two have."

"There is nothing…"

"There has to be something! You're here!"

"I'm here because the producers wanted me!" Megan exclaimed. "Do you honestly think I wanted to work with him? Seeing David again wasn't exactly high on my to do list."

"Well he certainly doesn't seem upset that you're here," Tom fired back. "You said you'd never been involved with someone you worked with yet…you almost married that man…"

"Because I was pregnant and fucking scared shitless…"

"So you don't hook up with co-workers except when there's a really good excuse," Tom replied. "So what's the excuse for me? What was that going to be?"

"The situations aren't even remotely similar, Tom."

"I don't know that. Fuck I don't know anything because you can't be fucking honest with me," Tom stated. "Maybe…I should have listened to all the naysayers. Maybe I should've fucking listened to Laura from day one."

"You're just being mean now."

"No, I'm being honest. But I wouldn't expect you to know what that was."

"Tom, David and I were a mistake, from day one. I was young and stupid and I messed up…"

"Yeah well…I'm glad we didn't get that far," Tom interrupted. He looked at her, his eyes clouded with disappointment. "I need to go."

"Tom," Megan began as she reached for him.

He quickly pulled away. "Just don't, Megan. Just…fucking don't." He shook his head and walked past her toward the door. "Have a good night."

Megan stood in the chilly Bordeaux evening trying to fight back tears. This night had turned into more of a horror story than the movie they were filming was.