DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based parody
on , Percy Jackson and
the Olympians series is owned
Rick Riordan and publishers
On the last chapter: Awesomeness(of course!), Percy's first monster kill(Awesome) Percy's first poem (Not that awesome) and The monster in percy's head, and now the next chapter without a N:
Chapter 4. Socks for Godzilla
Most Awkward thing in my life: talking to a ghost monster in a museum hallway holding a ball point pen which was a sword.
So I changed my facebook status back from Awkward to Awesome and went back outside. I talked to Grover "Where is Mrs. Dodds?"
He hesitated and replied "Who?"
"Our teacher,DUH!"
"No, she is not our teacher."
"but"
He said "This is a fan fiction!"
"Yeah! But…don't….why…so…but, SHUT UP!" I said, "I am awesome, so I am always right!"
I saw HP sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.
I went over to him. He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson. "
"No" I replied "I already have all my writing utensils, you were the one who tossed me the pen."
"but-"
"And that pen turned into a sword and I killed the fury"
Lightning boomed.
"No it is not-Wait whaaaaaaaaaat!" he exclaimed
"Yes, I killed a fury" Lightning boomed again, I looked up and said "Will you shut up!"
HP started to say "don't say fury-"lightning boomed again, "Say kindly one."
"Well she was not kind" I replied.
"Also, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?" he said.
"But-"I started to say,
"I know it is a fan fiction" he said "but, everyone is saying there is no Mrs. Dodds is because… um..."
"Because what?" I asked,
"We wanted to give you a surprise" he said "don't ask…. Ok I will tell you."
"What is it?" I asked warily.
"The third book written by Rick Riordan" he said "don't tell anyone that I said-"
"Hey Ryan!" I asked "is everyone giving me the titans curse as a surprise gift"
"-That" he completed.
"No." he said
But I still knew he was lying. Ever so often I would spring a Mrs. Dodds reference on somebody, just to see if I could trip them up, but they would stare at me like I was psycho.
After a month I started to get the feeling that Hp was lying, I know the Titans Curse and Mrs. Dodds are not related, also nobody knew anything about
The Titans Curse, they did not think the Lightning thief was Awesome and they were-
Hmm, they did not think The Lightning Thief was awesome,
Horse pooper was lying to me!
I was going to kill him but I waited for the right time, Muhahahaha.
Not the right role. Sorry I was trying my Kronos.
Anyway, I did not kill him. (I hate being good!)
A few days later, the biggest tornado ever spotted in the Hudson Valley touched down only fifty miles from Yancy Academy. One of the current events we studied in social studies class was the unusual number of small planes that had gone down in sudden squalls in the Atlantic that year.
I started feeling cranky and irritable most of the time. My grades slipped from Ds to Fs. I got into more fights with Nancy Bobofit and her friends. I was sent out into the hallway in almost every class.
Finally, when our English teacher, Mr. Nicoll, asked me for the millionth time why I was too lazy to study for spelling tests, I snapped. I called him an old sot. Actually I did not say sot.
Mr. Nicoll got me expelled , That old sot! (this time I am saying sot)
Great, I told myself, at last! I was FREEEEEEE!
No, you are not said ghost Dodds I am with you.
Oh gods save me!
No, said Dodds Actually,2 gods want to kill you
I freaked even more.
As exam week got closer, Latin was the only test I did not study for. I threw the Cambridge Guide to Greek Mythology across my dorm room or was it the trash?
Anyway, I was so frustrated over latin that I went to HP's cabin to give him a piece of my mind.
I took the book (thank the gods it was across the dorm!)and walked downstairs to the faculty offices. Most of them were dark and empty, but Hp's door was ajar, light from his window stretching across the hallway floor.
Grover said "-worried about Percy sir"
I stopped, I know all the boys and girls like me, but I did not know that grover was-
"good one Grover!" said Hp,
"I know, I am hilarious."
-never mind.
"I mean I know we need to protect him and all but I don't think I will worry about him!" Hp laughed.
"I know that the summer solstice deadline is close, but the thing about the boring books he reads-"
I was so furious that the mythology book dropped out of my hand and hit the floor with a thud.
There was silence.
I thought that they will come looking for me, so, I took the book and started to run,
then I heard in Hp's office, "probably a rat"
"Yeah" agreed Grover "where was I, oh yeah , his boring books!" he laughed
"Anyway," said Hp "You need rest, you have Exams tomorrow"
"Like I need to pass!" both laughed
I slipped out into the hallway and made my way back up to the dorm.
I lay on my bunk for a while.
After a few minutes grover came back and started studying for latin.
I knew Grover and Hp were talking about me behind my back, Not only that they were making fun of me, but they were insulting me.I was not going to let my feelings ahead of myself and get angry like a small child, I had to keep my feelings inside and-
"Why were you and horse pooper making fun of me?"
"we were not"He said
"yes you were"
"no"
"yes"
"no"
"yes"
3 Hours Later
"no"
"yes"
"OK Yes!" He finally said.
"I am always right" I boasted"It is Percy 2 and everyone else 0 ya all!"
"Yes, yes you are AWESOME-"He started to say
"Second most awesome" I explained "first is the Lightning thief."
"Ok, 2nd Most Awesome" he agreed "What is the second point for?"
"I won another yes-no against Horse pooper"
"Oh!" he said, "Anyway we need to sleep, we have exams tomorrow"
"Ya"I said "Am I forgetting something-"
"No," Grover cut me in mid sentence "go to sleep"
The next afternoon, as I was leaving the three-hour Latin exam which I did not really study, Hp called me back.
For a moment, I was worried he'd found out about my eavesdropping the night before, but that didn't seem to be the problem.
"Percy, " he said. "Don't be discouraged about leaving Yancy. It's ... It's for the best. "
"What's for my best?"I Asked.
"Leaving Yancy." He replied.
"Why am I Doing that?"
"Umm... You got expelled" He replied, irritated.
"why?" I asked
"You Insulted Mr. Nicoll"
"How?
"You called him a...umm" he paused fully irritated "go back to your dorm!"
Nancy Bobofit smirked at me and made sarcastic little kissing motions with her lips. I know, ladies love me!
On the last day I packed my suitcase and practically ran to the Greyhound station.
At last, I thought some peace and quite.
But, Grover was in the same bus as me.
You spoke too soon Mrs Dodds said.
"Shut up" I told her.
The bus ride was so boring that I remembered the conversation between grover and pooper.
"You were laughing at me" I said.
"no"
"yes"
"n-" he stopped "lightning thief is awesome"
"Don't Change the subject" I said "and you are right, it is awesome and-"
"But-" he started
"AND..." I said warning him "and..."
"what?" he asked completely terrified.
"And..."
"WHAT?" grover was shivering out of his skin.
"My score is 3-0 in yes-no contest" I said
Grover was dumbfounded"What-" he was interupted
a huge grinding noise under our feet. Black smoke poured from the dashboard and the whole bus filled with a smell like rotten eggs. The driver cursed and limped the Greyhound over to the side of the highway.
"Who farted" I asked the driver.
"Nobody, the bus just broke down" he replied.
"It really was you,wasn't it?" I whispered to him.
"Shut up and get outside" He said "it is going to be few minutes"
All passengers started talking to each other:
"- The Driver farted", "-He is soo cruel!", "-scolding that poor child."
He looked at me "Please go out"
"ok, I am going"
We were on a stretch of country road-no place you'd notice if you didn't break down there. On our side of the highway was nothing but maple trees and litter from pass-ing cars. On the other side, across four lanes of asphalt shimmering with afternoon heat, was an old-fashioned fruit stand.
The stuff on sale looked really bad: heaping boxes of bloodred... um blood , jugs of blood was in a claw-foot tub full of ice, there was also brains ,lungs and other internal organs on sale.
There was no doubt why there were no customers,just three old ladies sitting in rocking chairs in the shade of a maple tree, knitting the biggest pair of socks I'd ever seen And they were looking at me
Tell me they're not looking at you. They are, aren't they?"
"Yeah. Weird, huh? You think those socks would fit me?"
"Not funny,Percy. Not funny at all. " he said " It is very funny!"
We both started laughing.
All of that stopped when the middle lady cut the yarn, and I swear we could hear that snip across four lanes of traffic.
"Oh no "said grover
"Why,Are those socks for godzilla!"
"I-" He started to say.
"Are those ladies going to use godzilla to take over the world..."
At the rear of the bus, the driver wrenched a big chunk of smoking metal out of the engine compartment. The bus shuddered, and the engine roared back to life.
The passengers cheered.
"Darn right!" yelled the driver. He slapped the bus with his hat. "Everybody back on board!"
As we came back on board I asked Grover "Does the sniping of cord mean-"
"It means you are going to die" He interupted.
"I was going to say that the super weapon of Godzilla is finished-" I started "Sweet-mother-of-Posiedon, I am going to die!"
"I don't know how to say this" He said
"Say What?"
"What"Grover said"and yes,you're going to die."
"Oh" I said "DUCK!"
An with the clever use of words *cough* I invite you to read and review the next chapter of the (now-I-am-not-saying-without-another-N-because -it-is-getting-boring) story, the lighting thief without another N.
crap! without any N!
Damn! with a N!, Oh! come on! with a N
Fu- - there is a technical error, please review-
Technicians note: Read the next chapter of the Lighting theif WITH A N!