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"Run out of ale, did they Skywalker??" Mara eyed the pair of multi-coloured drinks in his hand with suspicion.
Luke shrugged as he sat down and handed her the small bottle. "Wes suggested it," he said.
"Only barely-legal girls drink this stuff." Mara took a tentative sip, but didn't make another comment and took a larger taste. Luke smiled to himself and turned back to the holoscreen.
"We're just over half-way through our delectable list of galactic sexiness," Nabrina'vida wriggled her hips and grinned seductively. "At Number 49 we have a man who's a little hard to describe. He's been a smuggler and an honest business man, a rogue trader and a general in the rebel Alliance. According to our viewers there is no one who plays better Sabacc or looks better in a cape. I am, of course, talking about the man who can make me his lady luck anytime; Lando Calrissian!"
The room erupted into whistles and shouts. Lando, however, instead of being pleased with his placing on the list, looked rather crestfallen. "Only number 49?" He said in astonishment to Tendra at his side. She rubbed his back comfortingly, but Luke noticed she looked strangely guilty, and wondered why. Everyone else seemed too focussed on teasing Lando to notice his wife's change in demeanour, particularly Mara, who was giggling beside him. It was a strange sight for the simple fact that Mara never giggled. Obviously the thought of Lando being displeased with his placing gave her a sort of girlish, delightful pleasure.
"No one can dispute the appeal of this one-time Baron," Nabrina'vida was saying as various images flashed across the screen. "Just as the many, many ladies who have shared his life." The images played more rapidly, showing Lando with many different women of various looks, ages and species.
"They're going too fast!" Han slurred from behind the couch as he tried to count the women on his fingers.
"That's for sure," Wes shook his head in disbelief as more and more women were shown. "You have a gift, my friend. You have to give me an' Hobbie some pointers."
Mara snorted. "If he was a woman you'd all be disparaging her character, not asking for advice."
"If he was a woman, he wouldn't be landing those kind of chicks!" Wedge laughed.
"What are you insinuating?" Lando was looking more insulted by the second. "That I wouldn't make a pretty girl?"
"Not with that moustache," Mirax muttered into her drink, and dissolved into giggles.
"Awwww," Tendra soothed her husband, putting her arms around his neck. "I would love you even if you were a woman." She kissed his temple. "You'd still have those gorgeous dimples."
"But Lando doesn't have dimples," Han queried, squinting his eyes and leaning forward just to make sure.
"I didn't say they were on his face," Tendra responded wickedly, causing the women in the room to laugh while the boys all squirmed and groaned in disgust. And then Lando did something Luke did not think him capable of: He blushed.
Meanwhile, Nabrina'vida was continuing with her spiel, going into detail about many of Lando's short-lived relationships. Luke watched rather disinterestedly until Mara's name was mentioned.
"There are some doubts as to whether this relationship actually happened, but these two former smugglers sure gave a good impression of it!" Images of Lando and Mara together flashed up on the screen, in various stages of embrace.
"Had to scour myself clean after that mission," Mara murmured beside him.
"Oh, come on, Jade," Lando taunted, his pride obviously still hurting. "It wasn't that bad."
"What you mean the constant nicknames, the whistling, the costumes you made me wear?" Mara huffed in disgust.
"We had to match!" Lando insisted. "It wouldn't do for the galaxy to think that Lando Calrissian was dating a woman whose sense of style ranged from black to black."
"You did look good together," Han added with a grin. "Especially that time we commed you on Chadis - "
"When I was undercover!"
Sensing that the exchange of words would go on for quite a while, Luke turned his attention back to the holoscreen, hoping he wouldn't get drawn into the argument. He sat disinterestedly watching the countdown until a familiar face flashed onto the screen. Nabrina'vida was begrudgingly examining number 45, a blue-skinned Twi'lek. Apparently she was an actress who had hit her peak of popularity several years earlier, but still had a devoted following. Luke was certain he recognised her face from elsewhere, he just couldn't quite place her… Nabrina'vida mentioned something about a rumored nose-job that made Luke squint at the screen, trying to remember…
"Wait a minute," Han's voice cut through Luke's ruminations. "I'd know that scantily-clad figure anywhere." He walked closer to the holoscreen to get a better look.
It was then that the memories came flooding back to Luke as a sense of dread washed over him.
"She's…" Han abruptly stopped, throwing Luke an apologetic glance.
"Well out with it Solo!" Corran prodded him.
Han cleared his throat. "Well, actually, now that I look at her, she isn't who I thought."
No one bought that paltry excuse for a second, and all began clamouring for Han to divulge. Luke sat stony-faced, waiting for the inevitable. Eventually Han could no longer withstand the barrage of demands and with another regretful look, began to speak. "She, uh…" he seemed to be searching for appropriately delicate words. "I believe she was the aforementioned female who I, uh…caught with Luke on the Falcon."
The room once again erupted into riotous laughter. "How do you guys get so lucky?" Hobbie lamented. "I need to incorporate 'Baron' or 'Jedi' into my pick-up lines."
"It wasn't like that," Luke quickly said, turning towards Mara, who looked less than pleased, probably not due to incident itself, but rather that Luke had never divulged it to her. "I honestly forgot about that incident, that's why I didn't tell you," he added softly.
"How do you forget a body like that?" Wes' eyes were glued to the holoscreen. "Although from what I've heard, her mind is a little slippery, but I'm sure that didn't deter you, Boss!"
"That's just an image the media's constructed," Luke protested. "She's quite intelligent when you get to know her."
Wedge snorted. "I bet she knows a thing or two."
"It wasn't like that!" Luke repeated.
"Well, then, how exactly did you wind up in her…company?" Mara asked less than warmly.
"Sound like someone's jealous," Lando taunted, seemingly happy the attention had shifted off his placing.
"I am not jealous of that blue bimbo!"
"I met her at a function," Luke quickly interrupted before Lando and Mara could bicker each other to death. "I can't remember which one. I didn't know who she was, and she was thankful to talk to someone who wasn't drooling all over her holofilm roles." He shot a glance at Wes and Hobbie. "She didn't know a lot about the Jedi, so it was refreshing for me as well. We went out a few times – discreetly," he added. "But one day the holopress were chasing…one of us at least, and the Falcon was right there in the hanger…" he trailed off, face unbearably hot.
"So she decided to show you her gratitude?" Mara asked scathingly.
"No…I…" he sighed. "It's difficult to explain."
"I sympathise with you Mara," Iella said from across the room. "I don't know what it is about blue-skinned women." She gave her husband a disparaging look.
Wedge sighed. "I've never known what you had against Qwi," he said. "She was going through a tough time, and I was just giving her some comfort."
"So was I," Luke chimed in.
Han laughed heartily. "Sexual therapy, eh, Luke?"
"Damsels in distress," Iella muttered disparagingly.
"Tell me about it," Mara murmured.
Leia, who up until then remained silent, suddenly became the victim of Mara's next accusation. "I'm sure you don't approve of your dear brother's behaviour?" she asked her.
"I didn't," Leia answered calmly. "At the time."
"You knew about her?" Mara was clearly not expecting that response.
"Are you kidding?" Leia answered. "Han couldn't wait to tell me all about it." She rolled her eyes.
"Yes, well," Han cleared his throat again. "Who wants another drink?"
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